CHAPTER 25

Y/N stood there for a good 10 minutes next to Dean's bed, watching him. He looked so peaceful, like he was asleep. It seemed like years since she was this close to him and he wasn't hurting her in one way or another. The longer she stood there, the more she came to realize that if anyone was gonna fix this mess, it would have to be her.

"Sam, I wanna call a family meeting", she stood there with her hand still on Dean's cheek, never looking away from him. When Sam didn't respond right away, she looked back over at him just in time to see the puzzled look on his face

"I'm sorry. A-a what?", Sam stammered. "Did you say a family meeting?" She turned toward Sam and nodded. She took her hand off of Dean's face and moved around the bed to stand in front of Sam. He continued to stare at her, a bit confused. Family meeting? Definitely a new concept. Winchester family meetings when Sam was growing up usually consisted of loading guns and his dad yelling at him and Dean to get their asses in the damn car.

"A family meeting. Me, you, Bobby, and Cas. Right now", Y/N said. "I need to ask everyone something and I need to do it before Dean wakes up. Sam searched her eyes trying to figure out what she was thinking. He finally nodded and she followed him out of the room. Sam called Bobby and Cas to the library where they all sat at the big rectangular wood table, with Y/N at the head. She sat with her head down for a moment to collect her thoughts. Eventually Bobby asked what all this was about and she took a deep breath before she spoke.

"I want to forget", Y/N said matter-of-factly, looking directly at Cas. Everyone started talking at wants. Sam was protesting that that was too dangerous. Bobby yelled 'WHAT?' at the top of his lungs. And Cas stood up saying he couldn't do that. Y/N raised her hand, silencing them. "Dean too". Again they all started shouting at once. "PLEASE LET ME FINISH!", she shouted over the noise and they all fell silent again. She heaved a frustrated sigh before she continued.

"I want my best friend back, but I know that that will never happen as long as we share this trauma!" She stared at her hands as she spoke. "And I can't unburn the memories out of my brain. I don't want to be a victim! I just want to be me again!" Her voice was thick with emotion and she tried to swallow the lump in her throat. "Me and Dean, neither one of us are strong enough to survive this."

"You don't know what your asking, Y/N", Cas growled. "You could lose more than just memories." Cas stared down at his hands, refusing to look at her.

"I do know what I'm asking, Cas", Y/N said softly. "What do you think this will do to Dean when he wakes up?" She looked around the table at the three men. "Do you think he'll be able to live with himself after what happened?" All three men averted their eyes, staring at different points in the room. "I couldn't call myself his friend if Dean did something to hurt himself and I could have stopped it!" She was almost yelling now. "Could you?" They all hung their heads like children being scolded by their mother.

"If this is what you want, I'm behind you", Sam said. He reached out and squeezed Y/N's hand. "I think it's the best thing for Dean too. I can't lose my brother again." Bobby just shook his head in utter disbelief. He was really having a hard time with this conversation.

"I think I'm surrounded by idjits!", Bobby groused. "You're all completely nuts!" He stared at the table, deep in thought. Then Bobby reached out and took her other hand. "But I guess I'm just as big an idjit as the rest of you idjits! I'm in". Bobby shot her that old man smile that she loved so much. She smiled back, leaning over to give him a big kiss on the cheek. "We're gonna have to do some work around here, like replacing your bedroom door.

"I think there's one in the storage room", Sam said. "I'll help hang it." Bobby and Sam both stood up and left the room. Cas sat there for a moment just staring at her, before he stood up and moved to the chair closest to her. He just looked at her in bewilderment. It was strange but everyone seemed to be giving her that same look lately.

"Are you sure this is what you want? Cas asked. "If you do this, there is no going back. And there is no guarantee it will even last". Y/N nodded standing up from the chair to pace the floor. She walked back and forth behind Cas' chair in a panic.

"I can't live with these memories, Cas!", she yelled grabbing her head in both hands. "I don't want these nightmares anymore! She stopped in front of his chair and fell to her knees at his feet. "Please, Cas! Make them go away! I don't care how long it lasts!" Cas grabbed her wrists and pulled them away from her head, staring deep into her wide eyes.

"I will do whatever I can to relieve your pain", Cas said in his gruff voice. She threw her arms around him and hugged him tight. Cas just sat there with his arms out, flabbergasted. He didn't know how to react to emotions or...hugs.

"Thank you Castiel", she whispered.