CHAPTER 1

Life slowly returned to normal for the Winchesters and Y/N, the 16 old girl that came to live with them after her family was killed by vamps. Well, as normal as it could ever be for them, being hunters. It has been 3 months since Y/N made the decision to have her and Dean's memories wiped of the horrible memories of Dean becoming a demon and brutally raping and beating her, Sam getting a fractured skull and broken arm in the process. She didn't want those memories and she loved Dean enough to not want him have to live with what he'd done.

It took Sam longer to get over his injuries though. He got his cast removed but he had lost some mobility and needed to work that arm back into shape. He worked with a punching bags for several hours every day. Dean helped him as much as he could. Sam's emotional injuries were harder to deal with.

He'd started having nightmares. These weren't the dreams of being chased by monsters that he had gotten used to. These were dreams that he woke from in the middle of the night, panting and covered in sweat. Usually, in his dreams he was beating on an unbreakable door with no knob, listening to the demon brutalizing Y/N while she screamed.

The most recent one was of the day he, Bobby, Cas, & Crowley had rescued her from the demon that looked like his brother. In his dream, when Cas had pulled Dean from the bed, Y/N was covered in blood and Dean was laughing. She stared at him blankly. It was obvious that she was dead. He woke up in a cold sweat and let out a strangled sob. He got up and went into the bathroom and splashed cold water on his face trying to chase away the horrible image of Y/N's dead eyes that was now forever burned into his brain. Sam walked to Y/N's room and watched her sleep.

Bobby had been helping take care of things in the bunker while everyone recovered. And Sam wanted him close just in case certain people started to remember things that they shouldn't. So the decision was made for Bobby to move in permanently. It was just easier for everyone to have him close by. And Bobby loved having all the new books on hand that he didn't have access to at his house.

Bobby was a great help to Sam too. He was a good listener and was a rock for Sam to hold on to when he was feeling his lowest. He let Sam unload every disturbing thing that Dean did, and made him do all those months ago and all the horrible dreams that resulted from it. It was slow going at first, but Sam was starting to feel like himself again.

Slowly Sam's arm got stronger and the dreams got fewer. He started to feel like he and Dean could get back to the business of ganking monsters. They had been out of commission for far too long. Dean thought he would go crazy if he didn't get out of this bunker soon. And Bobby was going to strangle Dean if he didn't shut up about how bored he was. Dean was such a baby sometimes.

One day Sam was looking for anything that might be monster related they could check out, when something happened that could threaten everything. Sam heard a crash and silence coming from the direction of the bedrooms. Something was wrong. He got up from his computer and walked down the hall. Should it be this quiet? He stopped in front of Y/N's room and knocked on the door.

"Y/N/N?", Sam asked. "You OK in there?" There was no answer. Sam's heart kicked into high gear and he slung the door open. She was standing in front of her night stand, shattered pieces of ceramic around her feet. "Y/N?" She didn't respond. Sam was really worried now. He walked around her slowly to find her staring at the base of a broken lamp in her hand. Her eyes were wide and she was shaking like a leaf. Sam put his hand on her shoulder and she jumped, dropping the shattered lamp.

"S-Sam?", Y/N stammered. "Wha...what happened?" She was looking at him confused, her eyebrows furrowed. She stared down at her shaking hands and then back up at him.

"I think you broke your lamp", Sam said. "You don't remember?" She just stood there shaking her head. She squinted her eyes, trying to remember what just happened. Trying just made her head hurt and she winced, grabbing her head. "Whoa! Are you alright Y/N/N?", Sam grabbed her by the shoulders and sat her down on the bed and sat down next to her. She just groaned and continued to cradle her head. "Talk to me!", Sam said in a panic. "What's happening?"

"My head hurts when I try to remember what happened!", Y/N whimpered. "What's happening to me, Sam?" She looked up at him about to burst into tears. Sam had to think of something fast. He grabbed her hands and looked into her eyes.

"Calm down, Y/N/N", Sam soothed. "The doctor said this could happen even as much as a year after the accident. You had a pretty serious concussion. It's perfectly normal, OK?" Y/N nodded, taking a deep breath to try to calm herself. She closed her eyes and heaved a heavy sigh. "You OK now?", Sam asked. She nodded slowly with her eyes still closed.

"I'm sorry Sam", Y/N said quietly. "I didn't mean to freak you out". She wiped her face with her palms. "I guess I freaked myself out!" She chuckled nervously as she spoke. "I feel really tired all of a sudden. I think I'm gonna lay down", she muttered. "I know I promised to fix dinner, but could you...?"

"Say no more!", Sam interrupted her, throwing his hands up. "I got this. You rest." Sam patted her on the shoulder and stood up. "And don't worry about the lamp. I'll clean that up later." He smiled at her as she climbed into the soft bed and laid her head on the fluffy pillow. She smiled back at him with heavy eye lids.

"Thanks Sam", She murmured, already half way into sleep.

"Don't mention it", Sam breathed, kissing Y/N on the forehead before walking out and shutting the door quietly. He stood outside her door with his hand over his face. He hated lying to her, but what else could he do? He was terrified that she was starting to remember all the horrible things that happened. Sam walked into his room and locked the door.

"Cas?" Sam whispered with his eyes shut. "I really need to talk to you." He peeked out of one eye and was frustrated that he wasn't there. "Come on, Castiel! This is an emergency!" He turned around and Cas was standing silently in front of his door. "Cas I think we might have a problem", Sam sighed. "Y/N might be remembering!" Cas tried to control his facial expressions but it was obvious that he was concerned. Sam told Cas what just happened in Y/N's room.

"The lamp breaking could have triggered a memory", Cas said. "The headache could have been her brain's way of protecting her from it". Sam only nodded. "I can't say for certain if it was a memory trying to break through or if she was just recalling a feeling." Cas paced slowly around the room, thinking. "If it was the latter, those feelings should fade with time." Cas looked at Sam and that look of concern grew more intense.

"But?", Sam asked, knowing it was coming.

"But, if it was the former...", Cas paused. "There isn't anything we can do." He dropped his head and sighed in defeat. He knew it was a long shot that this would work. The memories were so traumatic, for both of them, that the odds of keeping them away permanently was remote.

"What do you mean 'there isn't anything we can do'?", Sam asked frantically. He approached Cas and grabbed his shoulders harshly.

"I mean I can't do another erasure!", Cas growled back. "I mean you knew this was a long shot!" He grabbed Sam back and shoved him into the wall a little more aggressively than he had intended, but human's could be so frustrating sometimes. They expected him to work miracles for God's sake! "You have to accept the possibility that this fragile little house of cards you've built around her and Dean might come tumbling down around you someday!"

"And if it does, I can't help you rebuild it!"