CHAPTER 3

"I think I did something horrible Sammy!", Dean croaked. "But I can't...I can't remember!" Dean looked terrified and he started to pant as a sob burst out of him. Sam closed his eyes and his head dropped. "I keep getting these images flashing through my head and it makes my head hurt so bad!" Dean held his head in both hands like he was trying to keep it from exploding.

"What...what kind of images?", Sam asked not looking up. Dean took a ragged breath and let it out through his nose. Sam looked up at him when he didn't answer. Dean looked up at Y/N and back at Sam with a look of discomfort. "Y/N?", Sam looked over at her with a sigh. "Can you step out for a few minutes please?" She looked shocked that he would ask her to leave her best friend like this, but when she looked at Dean he was staring straight ahead with tears rolling down his cheeks.

"OK, Sam", Y/N whispered. She stood up and left the room, closing the door softly behind her. Dean brought his knees up to his chest, curling in on himself. He continued to stare off into space. Sam placed a hand on Dean's knee and Dean slowly looked over at him. Sam had never seen him so scared. Dean was trembling under his hand.

"I found the cap off a syringe under Y/N/N's bed and when I looked at it, I saw these terrible things inside my head!" He grabbed his hair in both hands, pulling on it brutally. "I saw a needle being jammed into my neck! I was squeezing a woman's thigh really hard!" Dean's face scrunched up in distress. "I was chained and tied to a chair! And worst? I saw Y/N/N's face! She was scared and in pain!" He was almost screaming now. "SAM! DID I DO SOMETHING TO Y/N/N?!" Dean grabbed Sam by the shirt collar and got in his face. "I COULD HEAR SCREAMING! WAS IT HER?!"

"DEAN! CALM DOWN!", Sam yell whispered at his brother. "Nothing happened! You're sick! I think you have a fever again! Your mind's playing tricks on you, OK?" Sam put a hand on his shoulder soothingly. Dean tried to slow his breathing, taking deep breaths. "That's it Dean. Slow steady breaths". Sam breathed with Dean, giving him something to focus on. Eventually, Dean calmed down enough that Sam could talk to him. "It's alright Dean. "It wasn't real". Sam felt shitty lying to his own brother but, he needed some time to think of a way out of this mess.

"SAM?", a small voice called from the other side of the door. "Is everything OK in there? I heard shouting!"

"Yeah, Y/N/N! Everything's fine", Sam shouted back. "Dean's got a fever again and he was a little out of it." Sam ran a shaking hand down his face. "He's OK now. We're gonna take him to bed." Bobby went around the other side of Dean and helped Sam get Dean back on his feet. They walked on either side of Dean, leading him to the door. He wobbled like he had had a few too many. When Sam opened the door, Y/N was standing on the other side of it, with a worried look on her face.

"Is he OK, Sam?", she whispered. Dean looked up at her with puffy, red rimmed eyes. He looked exhausted and a little green. Bobby and Sam were holding him up. Y/N moved to the side so that they could lead Dean back to his room. She followed close behind. When they sat Dean on the edge of the bed he just sat there staring at the wall. "Let me help get your boots off Dean", she said, kneeling down in front of him. She reached down to unlace his boot when Dean grabbed her wrist. She gasped and looked up into his eyes.

"Did I hurt you, Y/N/N?", Dean choked out. Y/N looked at him in confusion. "PLEASE! Tell me I didn't hurt you!" He was squeezing her wrist so tightly that the bones were rubbing together. She winced in pain.

"Dean! You're hurting me!", she whined. "Please let go! You didn't...!" Y/N froze, staring at Dean's hand squeezing her wrist. She whimpered and jerked on her wrist trying to get away. When she screamed Dean let go and she scrambled backwards against the wall. "STAY AWAY FROM ME!", she screeched at him. She was curled up in a ball in the corner, shaking. Sam knelt down in front of her, blocking her view of Dean.

"Shhhh...,Y/N/N", Sam whispered in her ear, holding her close. "It's OK! Nothing happened! Your alright!" Sam was stroking her hair and shushing her. She sobbed into his chest. Dean sat there in shock, his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open.

"Wha...what did I do, Sammy?", Dean whimpered. PLEASE! SOMEBODY TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING!", Dean screamed in a panic. Y/N flinched and pulled Sam closer to her in fear.

"Don't let him hurt me, Sam!", she whispered. "Please!" Sam held her, rubbing soothing circles on her back. He stood her up and walked her back to her room. He was careful to keep himself between her and Dean. He didn't want to set either of them off again. She continued to whimper as he walked her down the hallway and into her room. He laid her down on the bed, sat down beside her, and called for Bobby. He stood up when Bobby came in.

"Stay with her for a few minutes, will ya Bobby?", Sam asked. Y/N reached out and grabbed Sam's arm, whimpering. "It's OK, Y/N/N", Sam said softly. "I'll be right back. Bobby will be here with you." She nodded and let his arm go, slumping back down on the bed.

Sam was dreading this conversation. He'd rather cut his arm off than have this conversation. His heart was beating so fast that it felt like it was going to burst right out of his chest. When he walked into Dean's room, Dean was still sitting on the side of the bed. He was leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands.

"Dean?", Sam called quietly. Dean jumped to his feet and turned to face Sam. The look on Dean's Face made Sam shudder. His face was contorted in pain. Emotional pain. He started pacing next to the bed as he panted.

"Sam, did...did I r-rape her?!", Dean stuttered. "I did, didn't I?!" Sam's face scrunched up and he looked down at his feet. He was having trouble swallowing the lump in his throat. "OH GOD! NO!", Dean wailed. "WHY?! WHY WOULD I DO THAT, SAMMY?!" He fell down on his knees and then on all fours, sobbing. Sam knelt next to him and put a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Dean, you weren't yourself when this happened!", Sam said. "You had been turned into a demon. It wasn't your fault". Dean flinched away from Sam's touch and stood up. He walked into the corner of the room and leaned his head on the wall. "Dean! Please don't do this to yourself!" Sam walked over to wear he stood and leaned with him on the wall, his hand on Dean's shoulder and just stayed with him as he cried.

"What am I-I gonna do S-Sammy? I r-raped my b-best friend?"