The Boy Remembers

My name…

It's…

Marcus, right?

It sounds right, but wrong too.

It makes me want to vomit.

The vision of a girl with pink hair wakes me from my constant questioning.

The only sight ahead is a garden of lilies. Raising myself up from the ground, I wipe the dirt from my face and look all about. Lilies. Everywhere.

I get to my feet, and look up at the sky.

"W-what?" It's so…blue. The sight of it makes my heart skip a beat. No, not just that. There's clouds too. Clouds! They pass through the sky like gentle planes of dreams. I reach out my hands with a smile forming on my face. "I-it's back…" All those hard to place memories finally found their moment to return to me. Days of playing under a sunny sky. Of friends and places that I found to be more of a home than home. I let out a small laugh, feeling like I was losing my mind with happiness.

There was…one set of memories though.

A set that really…made me freeze up.

"What's wrong Marcus?" A little girl's voice. I lower my gaze, and see her just ahead. "Something bothering you?" She cocks her head, grins with the face of a chronic teaser. I know her name, but saying it feels just too disrespectful. She giggles. Can she read my thoughts? She wouldn't be the first, hehe…I laugh along with her.

"It's true then. Some people never change." She speaks so warmly, "Well, maybe you've changed a little." She turns away from me. "If I asked you to do now what I did then, I wonder if you'd have still hesitated."

"...I still did it. Even then. Hesitation doesn't mean anything." I feel almost compelled to resist her assertion. There's no way I've changed. I'll always be me.

"You almost got me there. That mask must be pretty comfy if you can say stuff like that, Marcus." I feel like I'm being mocked. I can't say I appreciate it.

"You never appreciated much, did you?" I manage to get out as she seems to play with her hands while I can't see them.

"How cruel. I always appreciated you, right? Even when you were just yourself." She turns her head. Her gaze is searching. Probing. I feel myself wanting to curl up and die. She turns back away. "Marcus…are you still waiting?"

"What…" It clicks what she's talking about.

Outside the town hall…

…we'll find that happy world.

"I stopped waiting a long time ago. You…died a long time ago, didn't you?" I ask, not sure if I really want to hear the answer.

"What do you mean Marcus? I'm just as alive as I've always been. If you're bitter about promises unfulfilled…well, the one who didn't show up wasn't really me, was it?" She chuckles, starting to walk ahead.

"W-wait…wait, please!" I start to move, my foot crushing lilies underway as I begin running. The plain feels endless, and the distance between us feels like it's growing impossibly. My feet pump vainly against the ground.

I blink, and everything is different. Underneath my feet are no longer the flowers I'd been trampling through. Instead, the wooden floor of a not too unique home takes their place. The living room. I'm in the living room. I don't even have to look up to know. I know this place. Remember it from sometime long ago.

"Something clicking in your head? If so, you may want to head upstairs." Her mocking words make me want to vomit. I shake my head, squatting down to try and calm my nerves.

"W-why are we here?"

"Hmm? You know why we're here. This is your element, is it not?"

"N-no! It's not!" I cover my ears, acting like that will stop the memories from invading every single one of my brain cells. "It's not…I just…just…" No excuse comes to my mind.

"You just what? You can tell me, right? I was the one who asked you to do it." She puts her hands on my cheeks and raises my head to stare at her. "Remember? I asked you to-"

"SHUT UP!"

"-kill our teacher, and you did it. Like a good boy."

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP NOW! STOP TALKING!" My fist comes swinging up but makes contact with nothing. I fall over, feeling my whole body trembling.

"Why are you so angry? It's just a memory, nothing you can do about it." She giggles again, before bending down to look me in the eyes. "Besides, what you did was quite heroic, don't you think? Wasn't he a bad man?"

"Bad…man? Bad…man…bad man. He was…he did…bad things to-"

"-me, Marcus."

"So I-"

"-couldn't let him get away with it." She smiles. "Because you're a good boy?"

"Good…I'm a good boy." I feel my mind begin a pleasant descent into emptiness. "I'm a good boy." She places a hand on my head.

"That girl…I wonder if she's getting brutalized right now."

"Girl…" Pink hair. Mika. My eyes go wide.

"She saved you, didn't she?" The girl asks. I don't respond. "She saw value in you. She perceived you, when you wouldn't let anyone else do so. You only let your teacher acknowledge you so you wouldn't feel worthless, right?"

"W-what?" My mind starts to hurt. "What are you-"

"Marcus, I want you to listen to me." I stop talking. "Do you like that girl, Marcus?"

Do I like her?

Mika?

Like her…like her…

"She…saved me…so I'll…save her…"

"If that's so, then I just need to know one thing." She grabs my cheeks once more. "Are you ready to learn all that you can do?"

…

My eyes open once again to the sound of a crash. The sounds of a violent scuffle. My hand moves to check my neck. Connected. I'm still alive. How am…I alive?

Get up Marcus. We need to move.

The girl's voice rings in my head. I do as told, standing up.

Marcus, I need to know something.

"What?"

If you wanted to kill someone, how would you like them to perceive you?

"Uhm…how exactly…" My mind races as my legs thoughtlessly lead me around the house, looking for an entrance. I remember…that angel. It's muscular form. It's disgusting smile. Covered in the blood and gore of countless people. The only thing I would change…the only thing…

Understood. You're terrifying, Marcus.

I find an entrance, and gently open the door, making my way inside. The floor under me creaks gently as I walk into what seems like a garage. The smell of blood and oil fill my nose as I move past the crushed body of a man towards the next door. I stop for a moment, eyeing up a crowbar sitting against the wall. I take it, before opening the door.

There he stands, looking ready to kick Mika's head off. Joshua looks at me and…freezes. Something like confusion, realization, then pure terror fills his eyes. Mika looks back as well, though her reaction seems much different. One of surprise, and…pure happiness.

"What…the hell are you?" Joshua backs up, causing Mika to look confused, but after I assume she reads my mind, she seems to go quiet. I walk forward, crowbar in hand. Walking pat the open bathroom, the mirror's reflection shows me an angel, a beat like one I had killed. The only difference…was a personal touch.

The top half of its head was replaced with Joshua's, tears constantly falling from empty eye sockets. A proper face for a proper demon.

"I'm the Devil, Joshua." I could feel my lips curl into a grin.