Chapter 32: Battle Ballin'
Day 46
An insistent beeping woke Kane from a well deserved slumber. He angrily rubs sleep from his eyes and sees the time of day was very early in the morning. He had to wave a hand over his galaxypad multiple times, do to angry swipes.
Kane
What!?
Voice
Kane, my main man.
Kane
Alister? Wha- why are you calling me so early?
Alister
Sorry, Superstar. It's late evening here and I had to let you know that you won.
Kane swung his legs to the carpet and looks at the image of the fair haired man with a neatly trimmed mustache that projected from his galaxypad. He was fully awake now.
Kane
Won what?
Alister
The Superstars' Guild is sponsoring a battleball game for charity. They sent out a poll last week of the Superstars, where the top five vote getters get to play.
Kane
This is what I get top pick for?
Alister
Actually, you were fifth. But still, you beat out twelve others.
Kane
I don't want to do this. Get number six to go instead.
Alister
No can do, kiddo. The results are in and you are expected to perform.
Kane
What? These events aren't mandatory. And my contract said nothin' bout no battleball.
Alister
It does state that you attend all Guild sponsored events. What're you complaining for? This is a chance for a higher profile. May even get a contract with the GBL.
Kane
You're my agent! You're supposed to keep me from doing stuff I don't want to do!
Alister
I'm not your Sync, sport. My job is to ensure you have a profitable life outside of Coalition Carnage. A battleball career's not bad.
Kane
I've never played a game in my life.
Alister
You've seen it before, right?
Kane
Yeah, I've bet on more than a few games. I know how it's played but-
Alister
Then you got nothing to worry about. Shoot the ball in the hoop.
Kane
Or shoot the player.
Alister
See? You got this. Now, go out there and show why it was us Earthlings that invented the game. Come on, Kay-man. Cheer up.
Kane sighed deeply, shaking his head irritably. He squints at the hologram.
Kane
Who was voted number one?
***
What was to be the locale of the celebrity battleball game was similar in design to the Stadium geodome; bleachers of wood surrounding a 100 x 75 foot court of fog-glass. Twelve foot poles of the ever present fog-glass with hoops of cloth sat at each end. Beyond them were arched tunnels of carved stone leading to player locker rooms. Billboards with player names and positions sat atop each section of bleacher and an hourglass with its top half full of sand hung from hooked pillars behind the goal posts. Ten meters behind the seating area and concession booths were animals with squat, bulbous bodies and necks fifteen feet long. Atop the heads, the creatures ears produced a light that a Pian sitting up there manually directed on the court.
The room Kane had entered had newly painted walls of turquoise and cubicles of grey wood. Benches bisected the room in the middle with folded clothing on top. Kane smiles when he saw who was sitting cross legged on the floor, blue skin several shades lighter then the wall. He wore a sleeveless jersey of blue and gold with the number four on the front.
Kane
You, too? Do you even know how to play battleball?
Claude
No.
Gorjon
That's okay, I'm a pro.
Kane spots the three armed Ksush stretching in the corner behind him. He sported the same jersey as Claude, but his number was one. He still wore his wrestling trunks.
Gorjon
Had I not become the greatest wrestler of all time, I would have been the most decorated battleball player to ever grace the sport.
Kane
This dude?
Claude
He seems pretty knowledgeable in the game.
Gorjon
As I was telling the Dycordian, leave the bulk of the work to me. I will be the Tower of our merry band.
Kane
That's an important role and goes to the tallest of the team. Guess that means you.
Ramza
Friend Gorjon will make an excellent Tower.
The Deity of Unluck had entered, wearing the team uniform with the number two.
Gorjon
Where you been?
Ramza
Obtaining our final teammate. He was lost.
From behind him emerged the white fur and metal body parts of Eamon, whose back and chest implants were painted the team colors. His snow white muzzle didn't look pleased.
Kane
Children must have made up most of the voters if Eamon was chosen fan favorite. How can he possibly know the game?
Eamon stomped into the room, growling at Kane, who put his hands up, innocently.
Ramza
Eamon is bright enough to get by, right old friend?
The two stare at each other, then laugh; Ramza's a full belly, honest laugh, Eamon's more gutteral.
Kane
I missed the joke.
Claude
The joke, it appears, has always been on us. I have heard the Ja'ir can communicate mentally.
Gorjon
It's true. He revealed it to me when we fought a decade ago and will prove useful on the court.
Kane
We need to assign positions. God's Gift to Wrestling here is the Tower.
Gorjon
And the Tower Check, for only I am skilled enough to defend against the opposing team's Tower.
Kane
Does anyone know who's on the other team? I couldn't get any info.
Ramza
It is meant as a surprise to the masses, just as we are. Since they also are chosen by fan votes, I'm confident it will be the Tower of Power.
Kane
Then I vote for you to be the Tower Check.
Claude
What is a Tower and Tower Check?
Kane
This is going to be a disaster.
***
Cam-bots were allowed to broadcast the event as long as they never touched the dirt of Pia. By the dozens, they hovered a hundred feet above the heads of the ten thousand strong crowd. The metal orbs would capture every angle for those bearing witness to the celebrity battleball game from the comforts of home or some local establishment, and for slow motion replays for officials and commentators. Three-eighths of all the intelligent species within the Papuru Galaxy were present to root for their favorites.
Standing center court, dressed in a suit that hugged the natural muscular physique of his race, Grodin held a cone shell to his lips with his overhead hand. He held up his free hands for quiet.
Grodin
It's time! The Superstars' Guild and Galactic Battleball League bring you the first ever celebrity battleball game between this year's crop of Coalition Carnage Superstars and the MVPs of the battleball playoffs; of which the Finals take place tomorrow night. Each team was chosen by you, the fans! Introducing first: Team Superstar. Starting at the Baller and Attacker positions, hailing from the world of Oym, known as the Deity of Unluck, Ramza!
Ramza flew from beneath one of the archways to pose heroically on his team's side of the court.
Grodin
Next: playing as Screener and Roamer for our Superstars, representing Earth, Kane Urasa!
Kane ran onto the court with less fanfare then the Deity, his jersey sporting the number five.
Grodin
Next up: the Superstars Sharpshooter and Guard, Dycord's favorite son, Claude of Styfe!
Claude jogged on court, waving and smiling.
Grodin
Hailing from the neighboring frozen world of Ja'ir and the first of his kind to ever play the sport. Leader of the Bloody Tusk and your number one pick based on votes, the Superstars Defender and Retriever, Eamon!
The crowd buzzed in anticipation as the polar bear like being and his metal implants stomped onto the fog-glass. Some of the Pians present booed, others laughed at how ridiculous he appeared to them. Eamon didn't react to the crowd as he stood next to Ramza, who placed a gentle hand on his furry shoulder. The pause by Grodin was noticeable, as was the deeper pitch of his voice.
Grodin
And finally, the most important roles of Tower and Tower Check belong to this man. He is the pride of Ksush and Galactic Wrestling Association's Universal Champion twenty years running. This man is...Gorjon!!!
The fireworks used for his entrance matched the team colors and so did Gorjon, painted head to toe. He flexed as he walked, pointing to every Ksush he saw within the mass. He slaps palms with his teammates and tries to pat Eamon on the head, nearly pulling back a stub. Kane mumbles at him, while smiling for those watching.
Kane
Where was our fireworks display?
Gorjon
I brought my own. Always be prepared.
Claude
Is it wise to cover yourself in paint before such a vigorous game?
Gorjon
Worry not, my turquoise friend. My body can handle anything.
Ramza
I pray, Universal Champion, you have brought skill as well.
Gorjon
I know the game better then any of you. Just keep your unluck to a minimum, He Who Trips A Lot. I don't want you making us look bad.
The spotlights from the long necked beasts converge on the opposite archway.
Grodin
And now, the pros. Each a walking legend in their own right. Introducing first, starting in the Baller and Guard positions and known as one of the best to ever play the game. Number twenty-four of the Pian Knightmares and the oldest son of King Philmon, Prince Omesja!
The Pian was tall and broad shouldered, but slim and wiry. His bald head and dark, chest length beard made him look fearsome. He wore a brick red jersey and shorts and didn't react to the cheers at all. He eyed each Superstar in turn as he jogged calmly to the line that marked half court.
Kane
Of course he got voted in. But how often does he play the Baller position? Isn't he known more for Defender?
Ramza
You are correct, Kane Urasa.
Grodin
Next, starting as Screener and Tower Check, number thirty-three of the Flocking Feathers, known fondly as the Great Feathered Hope, Dyriblarr!
Flying in to land next to the Pian was a Tilris of green and white patterned feathers and sporting the same colored jersey as the prince. The crowd showed their love as the bird man smiled warmly. Kane was excited as well.
Kane
I didn't expect him. He announced his retirement a couple of days ago.
Gorjon
They got an old man on their side. Lucky us.
Grodin
Up next, the positions of Sharpshooter and Retriever belong to this man, along with three championship rings and over a dozen MVP awards. Number thirty-two of the Magic Makers, the Sorcerer of the Court, the Supreme Baller!
A tall Human strolled into the spotlight to stand next to the Tilris, ignoring his two teammates. Claude heard Kane curse under his breath.
Claude
I take it he is good.
Kane
He is. And now I know they plan on trying to humiliate us. He's not known as the Supreme Baller because he's great at Sharpshooter.
Grodin
This next athlete will be competing for the battleball championship tomorrow with his team, the Yuni Fireballs. Lesser players will fear this Tower and Retriever, for he is the Tower of Power himself, Caviel Gravel.
The Yuni that entered was the tallest Kane had ever seen at almost eight feet. His stone skin seen under his uniform was white with black swirls.
Kane
I got money on his team in the championship game.
Ramza
Think you can keep him in check, Universal Champion Gorjon?
Gorjon
I'm up for the challenge.
Grodin
And last, but certainly not least, owner of more championship rings than any player in history, with a whopping eight. Superstar at the 99th Coalition Carnage, which I had the pleasure of hosting. He is also in the coming championship game as number twenty-three of Unity United. Defender and Attacker will be his domain. Needing no introduction, the one and only, Jormicha!
The Dagon that entered was the smallest adult Dagon Kane had ever seen, standing, at most, six feet. His limbs were thin, but powerful, his skin, a steely grey. He gets the most love from the crowd.
Kane
Knew to expect him.
Ramza
This will indeed be a challenge. Yet, victorious we will be.
The Deity was smiling as he and his crew took to the middle of the court, which had been painted green, along with sections close to the goal. Several Pians wearing black and white striped tunics littered the court.
Narrator
The game of battleball has its roots in a similar game played in Earth's distant past. What supplemented it was a game just as strategic, just as physical, but just a bit more violent.
Gorjon stood within the green circle, opposite the Yuni. The Tower of Power stared down at the smug Ksush, stone arms crossed over a smooth chest.
Gorjon
If I wasn't the greatest pro wrestler ever, I would've been the best battleball player ever.
Gravel
Prove it.
Ramza was to Gorjon's left, just outside the circle, while Kane and Eamon were on his far right. Claude hung back, closer to the goal, per Gorjon's instructions. The pros stood far behind Gravel, none within two meters of the others. Kane locked eyes with Dyriblarr, both nodding in greeting.
A passing flying creature with skin of leather and ridden by a colorfully dressed Pian, dropped an orange ball that appeared to have the same texture as the beast it dropped from.
Narrator
Composed of near indestructible polymer invented years ago, the ball is the focus. Once it hits the ground, the game begins.
When the ball bounced off the court, two things happened simultaneously. First, a hand of fog-glass rose from center court, striking the ball, casting it behind Gravel. Then, a second fog-glass hand open palm slapped Gorjon hard across the face. As the ball sailed through the air, Claude tried to manipulate it with wind, but it continued its journey, smoothly into the hands of the Human known as the Supreme Baller, who then casually tossed it to the prince.
Kane
Eamon, get that ball. But don't eat anyone to do it.
The ursid Superstar sprung into action, stampeding ahead. Gorjon smiled at the Yuni that just struck him.
Gorjon
I'll check that.
Gorjon reached for Gravel's throat with his three muscled arms. The Yuni was back stepping from his grip and was caught off guard when those arms grew in length to wrap around his upper body. Snake heads that were once fists, hiss at his stoney expression as he is lifted off the court.
Narrator
There are ten positions in battleball, five on the offensive side of the ball, five on defensive. Eight of these have specific rules that, if broken, results in a foul. The Tower and Tower Check are two such positions. On offense, the Tower is free to do practically anything, except cross the center line. The Tower Check is only allowed to react to whatever the Tower does.
Gorjon pulls Gravel toward the center line, in an attempt to slam the Yuni on his side of the court. Half a dozen hands of fog-glass emerge from the court to grip Gorjon's outstretched arms, halting his progress. Another shot up like a rocket, in-between the wrestler's legs. He bent over, cross-eyed, and the fist uppercuts him into the air.
In the meantime, the Pian was approaching middle court at a rapid pace, avoiding a pounce by Eamon, with Ramza in his path, wearing his trademark smile.
Narrator
Attacker is a position on defense that allows the player to assail any other player on the court without threat of a foul. A foul will occur, however, if the Attacker touches the ball or performs any action beyond six feet from his person.
Ramza raises a fist meant to shatter the fog-glass beneath their feet. The ball was bounced off his knee and back into the prince's hands in mid punch. One of the referees blew from a shelled horn hanging from his neck and held up a small sign with the number two. Quick as a lightning strike, grey silk struck Ramza in the back of the head and immediately spreads over him, attaching him to the floor. This was produced by a tannish, brown worm about a meter in length and as tall as a dog, with two antenna eye stalks. It sat on a small dais, mid court.
Kane
Gross! I hate how Pians penalized fouls!
Eamon was closing the distance between him and the prince, who had made it onto the Superstars territory. The hulking brute halts in his tracks, unable to lift a single paw. His roar of frustration joined the crowds' cheers and running of feet on fog-glass. Claude could sense who was behind Eamon's sudden stop and planned to strike at the culprit, the Supreme Baller, who was sprinting a few feet behind Prince Omesja.
Narrator
Sharpshooter is an offensive position that can only act from a distance, while the Guard can only target and react to the actions of the Sharpshooter.
Before Claude could enact his plan to distract the Supreme Baller enough for Eamon to possibly free himself, a streak crossed before him, causing a sonic boom. Claude and a recovering Gorjon were knocked back by the invisible wall of pressure the boom produced. The streaking object was the Tilris, who circled the court from above.
Narrator
The idea of the Screener offensive position is to distract, obscure, deceive, or obstruct the other team.
Prince Omesja was in a situation to score, when he noticed Kane trying to sneak up from his blindside left, Will Blade at the ready. Kane is suddenly kicked in the head by stylish, athletic, extra large footwear worn by the Dagon, Jormicha and sent sailing cross court.
Narrator
The defensive Roamer is free to act without consequence, while on offense, the Defender protects the team as a whole, but primarily, the ball carrier.
A now free Eamon was charging past Jormicha toward the prince. He leapt for Omesja, jaws wide to engulf the arm controlling the bouncing ball. He chomps down on a sudden clump of bright green grass that spring up around his prey. His tongue flicks in, out and around his muzzle in an attempt to dislodge the vegetation.
Narrator
The final position on defense, Retriever, whole goal is to get the ball by any means necessary. In contrast, the Baller, who is free to do any action on the court, main objective is to keep the ball in his team's hands.
From another patch of tall grass that suddenly grew next to the Superstars goal, Prince Omesja emerged with a massive jump. With a yell of triumph, he slammed the ball into the hoop. Before the prince even touched back down, Claude was able to establish a loose hold of the ball using wind. He tries bringing it to himself but was thwarted by a long, pink tongue from Jormicha's mouth that sticks to it and with a jerk of the head, robs Claude of his prize.
Narrator
With no timeouts, out-of-bounds, or inbounding of the ball, a team can score as often as they want, provided they obtain the ball before the opposing team after successful goals.
Kane recovered quick enough to intercept Jormicha to keep him from another quick score. A second sonic boom had the Human tumbling head over heels. Dyriblarr flys next to Jormicha after he scores, exchanging high-fives. The first quarter continues in this way, with the pros increasing their lead, while the Superstars had yet to earn a single point. Back in the locker room, Gorjon was spending the five minutes they had between quarters to encourage his teammates.
Gorjon
What're you guys doing out there!? We're getting killed!
Kane
You're not exactly MVP out there yourself. Your failure to check their Tower is what's killin' us.
Gorjon
What about him? He spent half the quarter webbed up.
Ramza
My skills do not pair well with being an Attacker.
Gorjon
You're the most powerful one here! What you mean!?
Claude
Then, perhaps, Ramza should be our Tower Check.
Gorjon
You stay out of this. You can't even guard their Sharpshooter properly. He kept tying up poor Eamon.
The Ja'ir growls, sitting over in a corner.
Kane
What we're doing isn't working. Claude, you and I are switching defensive positions. Ramza and Gorjon, too. And since we didn't get the ball even once, offense can stay the same. Until it's clear we suck at that, too.
Gorjon
Who died and made you coach?
Kane
We did it your way, now we going my route. I just wish we could switch you out as Tower.
Gorjon
Hey! Don't let that victory you got over me go to your head. I wasn't ready, plus I had the sniffles.
Ramza
We have no more time for discussion. We will do things Kane Urasa's way.
Gorjon
Fine. For this quarter, at least.
The second quarter unfolded, at the start, the same as the previous; with the Superstars being humiliated. Two minutes in, however, Claude made a fantastic read. A small, yet noticeable tension had surfaced between Gravel and Jormicha. Gravel was distracted enough for Claude, who had phased into the court, to surprise the rock skinned pro from below. Simultaneously, the Dycordian was able to trip him up and the Tower of Power toppled over the center line.
Kane (laughing)
Avalanche!
Referee
Foul!
Gravel was webbed to the court, arms askew in an awkward pattern. He screamed in rage, ripping the webs by simply moving to stand.
Jormicha
No, Caviel! We do this right! Play by the rules!
The towering Yuni calmed enough to settle in his sticky situation, but the rage in his eyes was clear. The crowd was in an uproar as the Superstars finally had control. Ramza calls for the ball, which Claude happily obliges.
Ramza
Let's go, team!
Ramza advanced and bounced the ball off his foot, right into the hands of Jormicha.
Ramza
Whoops.
Referee
Foul!
The Dagon was now webbed like his rival, but still on his feet. Dyriblarr swooped in to scoop the ball and let out a tiny squawk when Eamon was inches from closing his toothy maw over his head. The jaws snap shut on empty air, Eaman landing flat on his killbeast hypernetic. Kane was on the move, Will Blade swiping through Eamon's rear paws, leaving him unharmed, yet severing the near invisible strings holding the Ja'ir.
Dyriblarr's speed at ball movement made the sphere appear a blur in his approach to the basket, avoiding Gorjon's fire ball blasts with ease. Claude was there to meet him, Eamon and Kane fast incoming from behind. Sharp blades of grass sprouted in the charging bear's path. He howls in pain and surprise, all four paws pierced through like they were the softest of flesh instead of hard as steel. Along with the pain, Eamon felt his assailant's sense of satisfaction and fed on it.
Faster then almost anyone could react, Eamon had broken free of the grass and cut across the court to Omesja. The Pian prince was still smirking, with less then a second from having his throat ripped out. Jaws that could crush fog-glass close around the forearm of Ramza, who pushed the prince from death's door.
Referee
Foul!
Both Ja'ir and Deity were webbed in place, as Dyriblarr zips past Claude in a sweet cross over move that left him stumbling, increasing the pros lead with a slam home.
The mood was bleak in the Superstar locker room during halftime. Gorjon was talking to the air, asking why he had to team with amateurs. Claude sat cross legged against the wall and Ramza was quietly talking with Eamon in the corner, when Kane voiced a question.
Kane
Why aren't you using your spider legs, Eamon?
Big, brown eyes regard the Human, more as a snack then a teammate.
Ramza
Eamon of the Bloody Tusk only uses his full abilities for the hunt. He considers this a child's game.
Kane
Dude, with the added height, he could be our Tower!
Gorjon
But I'm-
Kane
Not good at Tower, Gorjon. Eamon, feel free to let loose a few of those killbeast missiles ya got. Also, can you do that weird ice stuff you did in that battle-
Ramza
Kane. Eamon of the Bloody Tusk is refusing your request. His physical abilities is enough when playing games.
Claude
This is not a mere game, but a hunt for the ball.
Kane
Yeah, yeah. Look at it like this: the ball is food to be stored for later. The other team are rival predators.
Gorjon
This is ridiculous. He already said he didn't want to do it.
Kane
No team in history has had a score of zero at halftime. He's doing it.
Ramza and Eamon are having one of their telepathic conversations. After half a minute, Ramza nods.
Ramza
He agrees to view this as a hunt designed for younglings.
Kane
Whatever floats your iceberg.
Claude
Also, I think Ramza should assign us new roles.
Gorjon
Why?
Claude
A feeling.
Ramza
Will you all heed my instructions?
Kane
Can't hurt.
Gorjon
We'll see how it goes.
Claude
We will comply.
Eamon nods.
Ramza
Then let's talk strategy.
The blare of some beast signals the end of halftime and a team with renewed vigor and determination storm onto the court.
End chapter