The nature of recklessness

– What are you staring at!?

Yang Yulin cast a stern glance at the black bird next to her. It grumbled and waved it's wounded wing.

– What?! Don't look at me like that. You deserve it. It's your fault we're here.

The bird screamed loudly and tried to peck the girl who was sitting in the cage opposite.

– Shut up there!! – A voice came from behind the cart. The tall man hit the wood and continued to drive the horses – If you continue to fight, I will sell you for organs!!

– You're going to do it anyway, asshole! – Yang Yulan shouted back resentfully.

The cart was rushing forward. Heavy cages for animals and humans shook on the bumps, creating a distinctive ringing sound. The cages were covered with a large dirty cloth. This was supposed to help the bandits hide the fact of the kidnapping. In any case, they could simply justify themselves by saying that they were transporting hay or cattle. No one would have checked.

Realizing the horror of the situation, Yang Yulan buried her head in her lap and whimpered. Her weapons and money were taken away from her, and soon her right to life will be taken away.

In addition to everything, the annoying inscription on the pink screen was constantly glowing in front of the girl:

[The system is being updated. At this time, the main options and the assistant do not work. 34% uploaded ]

– you always choose the best time! – the girl swore for the hundredth time in the last couple of hours. She blamed herself for not thinking of using the right option when the update had not yet been launched – It was as if you were deliberately waiting for me to get into such a situation! As soon as I get out of this stupid novel, I'll give you zero stars and complain to the police or the government.

The inscription on the screen did not change.

«I hope if I die in this world, I'll get back home.»

At that moment, another bird's wheeze was heard. Then there were several of them. The wheezing was short and fast. They sounded like laughter.

– That's funny to you. But you will also be cut into pieces and sold!

The bird immediately shut up.

– If you hadn't stolen my pet, which is now completely unknown where, I wouldn't have hurt you.

– And if you hadn't landed in this particular place, I wouldn't be in this situation.

– By and large, you and I are even. You have nothing to blame me for.

The bird seemed to understand every word of the girl, it began to look closely into the eyes of the princess, waiting for what she would say next. This spurred Yang Yulan to continue her monologue.

– You know, I don't even want to be here. I'm not from this world at all, can you imagine?

– I came here by some stupid coincidence and I've just been going with the flow so far.

– I thought: "That's cool! I got into a romantic novel. Now I'm going to live for real. I'll watch the show and I won't worry about anything at all.

– But it's not that simple, do you understand me?

The girl looked closely at the bird, which awkwardly nodded in response.

– Ah.. I don't want anything anymore. In my reality, no one is waiting for me, no one really loves me. Even the father. He.. Everything is difficult with him. And it's the same in this world. Everything is going down the drain. Finally I got back a little passion for shooting and lost those arrows again. Sometimes I feel like I was born to get into trouble and screw up.

– You know, I even thought about it the other day. Maybe it's not really another world. Maybe I'm in a dream. In a long one. Maybe I was hit by a bike and now I'm in a coma.

The bird's eyes bulged, not understanding what it was all about.

– Let me check if this is real world. Just in case.

The girl reached out to the next cage to pinch the bird. She screamed pitifully again, spraying blood everywhere.

– Okay, okay, I'm kidding, calm down. I won't hurt you.

– Hey! Shut up you two!!

Late in the afternoon, the carriage finally stopped.

A couple of men jumped off their horses and walked over to the wagon to pick up the cloth.

A sharp ray of light immediately hit the princess's eyes.

– That's what it is! You've got blood all over it!

– You should have bandaged the bird's wound right away, you idiot! – said another – Now it all needs to be cleaned up.

– Look, they're mad at you. They will definitely cut you, Yang Yulan whispered to the bird next to her.

– You! – one of the men pointed his finger at the chatty princess – you're going to wipe the floor now!

– Why is this all of a sudden!?

– Are you even fearless? We usually cut off the tongue for unnecessary questions.

The man reached into his pocket, taking out a small silver knife.

– I'll wipe it off!! – the girl roused herself and jumped to her feet, ready for any job –Everything will shine!! It will be even better than before.

The bird started laughing again.

Before leaving the cage, under the supervision of one of the bandits, the princess quickly plucked a couple of feathers from this black hen.

– Hey, why do you even need this bird? – Yang Yulan asked as she mopped the floor of the carriage.

– Will you ever shut up? – one of the bandits complained, but another man, with a long thick mustache, looked at the girl and decided to answer her. It was a long trip, and only a thick-headed idiot and an overly irritable boss went to the base with him. And he was a man willing to talk.

– The bird is a canopy of gold. This is the real spirit of death.

– A spirit? Like a forest spirit?

– Do you know the forest spirit? The elusive bastard. He's not strong enough, but he knows how to hide. We tried to catch it somehow too. But this is simply impossible.

– Did you happen to see where that bird went? I hope you didn't eat it?

– What do you mean? There were no other spirits with this bird. And she wouldn't have eaten it so quickly. It needs to be digested. Have we lost sight of the spirit of the forest?

«But then where did Little Bell go if it wasn't with the bird?» – the girl wondered, and then asked again:

– Why does the spirit of death need other animals at all?

– This bird is very strange in itself. Spirits don't usually eat anything. Except out of boredom. But the spirits of death feed on the energy of other magical creatures. This is the only way they can save their lives. If he attacked even a forest spirit, then this can only mean that the feathered one has completely lost hope. Apparently he hadn't eaten in the last ten years and was already starving.

Yang Yulan shifted her curious gaze to the cage. The bird in it seemed to be dying of exhaustion.

«It definitely didn't eat Little Bell. It looks lousy.»

– Listen, won't you treat the bird? She's really bad.

– Don't worry. Spirits can't die that easily. They regenerate. There is no point in spending expensive medicines. Until we sell it, it will still live. Then let the buyer deal with the consequences.

– That's how it is..

The girl suddenly felt sorry for the stupid bird. Of course, she is largely to blame for her, but hunger can do worse things to a living being. What choice did she have? Not eating for ten years is a very long time. Yang Yulan calculated this number in her head.

Yes. She certainly wouldn't have survived it herself.

«Is there any other way to feed him?»

***

Shin Zuzhou bent over the pool of blood.

– His path ends here. Storm has completely weakened.

Xin stood nearby and was silent.

– He's hurt. He's been looking bad lately. I'm afraid he's really in danger this time.

– Speak up – the princess commanded the girl standing next to her.

– You were right, Your Highness. You think something might happen to him.. Something bad until we find him? – The bodyguard suggested quietly

– He's strong. I'm sure he'll wait for me.

– Then..

Xin's words were interrupted by a gesture from Shin Zuzhou. She signaled for silence.

– There's someone here.

The bodyguard looked around carefully, but did not notice anything. Her instincts had never failed her before.

– Come out. We won't do anything to you – The princess spoke somewhere into the void – We need your help

Then a gray fur coat caught their eye. It seemed that the animal appeared out of nowhere

– A spirit?

– Why did it come out into the light? Did it believe you?

– No. It's just looking for someone too.

– This man was kidnapped along with Storm.

– Do you understand what it's saying? – Xing asked when Shin Zuzhou, who saw her confusion, gave her the floor.

– I'm just guessing. I've been communicated with Storm for many years. I'm used to it.

– Can you show us the way? – Shin Zuzhou asked the animal. It willingly nodded it's head and led the pair in an unknown direction.

***

– So you say the spirit of death tried to eat your animal? – A short man with a mustache asked, pouring a bowl of water to the girl who had finished cleaning.

Another bandit was feeding a horse at that time, and the boss of the gang was lying on the wet grass and chewing a chicken leg.

Yang Yulan huffed, greedily sipping from the offered cup.

– I'll tell you so. This is fundamentally impossible. This tired bird, with all its desire, would not have been able to catch the legendary forest spirit the first time. Did you really see how it caught the spirit?

– Well.. When the bird flew over our table, Little Bell disappeared. He was nowhere else.

– Hmm.. I think this bastard just became invisible.

– He can do that too!? – Yang Yulan was really surprised.

–Yeah – the man grinned – Most likely it was running after you all the time while you were chasing the bird and just forgot to become visible again.

– Damn it. I shot an innocent animal – the girl lamented. She shifted her plaintive gaze to the bird in the cage – I'm so sorry.

The black bird, hearing the girl's words, raised its beak in a triumphant gesture.

– How did I know you were such a useless hunter?

The howling of birds was heard again

– Hey you! Stop making noise!! – The bandit boss got up from the grass and walked over to the wagon.

– And you! – he shifted his gaze to the mustachioed man – stop chatting with our prisoners.

– Get on your horses now!! We need to get to the base before dark!

The sun had already begun to set below the horizon when the group of people finally reached a small town similar to the one where Yang Yulan encountered bandits. But this one looked even poorer. Tall and dangerous-looking men roamed here and there in the town. They bared their teeth, sharpened their weapons, and eagerly looked at the passing cart.

– Boss, how's the catch this week?

A crowd of guys ran up to the covered cages.

– It couldn't be better! I caught the spirit of death.

There were surprised exclamations from the crowd.

– Amazing!

– You're the best, boss!

While the gang leader was accepting the praise, a couple of other men who were riding with him began unloading the cart.

–Get out – the moustached man commanded Yang Yulan – We need to examine you for any scars. We can't just take you to a brothel.

– I don't have any scars, honestly! – the girl began to beg. For some reason, this man seemed to the girl to be a good man. Perhaps this feeling was created from a short, but friendly enough dialogue between them –Please, Tai Zi, believe me. I know you're not like them.

The mustachioed man, whose name Yang Yulan learned during the conversation, first looked at the girl in front of him, then stole a glance at his partner, who was busy with the bird at that moment, then back at the princess. Tai Zi suddenly hung up and thought about something long and hard.

– Okay. Look what we're going to do now.

– I'll tell the guys that I've already examined you. But if you really tricked me, then you will seriously regret it. Is that clear to you?

– Yes! Yes! – Yang Yulan couldn't believe her luck. She was about to hug the man named Tai Zi, but changed her mind at the last second. She remembered that she was not dealing with a kind uncle from the store, but with a slaver.

«Okay. I'll save a hug for someone else.»

After a few more moments, Yang Yulan was finally put in a cell. She was in a large and cold basement under the ground.

The girl was sitting on a wet stone tile in complete silence and did not know what to do with herself. With every second she spent in a cramped, dark space, she felt fear and anxiety creeping over her. In order to distract herself, she began to remember the days she spent at school or at archery practice. These days seemed so warm and sunny that, in contrast to the impenetrable darkness of the dungeon, the memories created a feeling of unreality of everything that was happening. Night. Loneliness. Silence. Father's voice. The screams of the fans. The hot summer sun.

A treacherous lump, full of resentment and fatigue, kept coming up to her throat. Her head was spinning. Her temples hurt. The cold coming from the small window and the floor chilled the girl to the bone. She lowered her eyes to the floor, trying to cry, but the tears wouldn't come. It was enough for Yang Yulan to look at a sad puppy to cry, it was enough for her to see a happy child to cry, but when it came to moments where these tears were needed like air, her eyes seemed to dry up. No feelings, no tantrums. Only humility, calmness and serenity.

Obsessive thoughts kept creeping into her head, forcing her, with every second spent in prison, to drive herself more and more into the depths of a mental hell. She couldn't help but wonder: Why do I really live? What do I want?

She used to think that she knew well what she needed from this life and what to achieve in the time allotted to her, but now she was at a complete dead end. The life she led before moving into this world could not be called happy. That time was full of regrets and loneliness. Here, the fuse seemed to return to her. Her shooting made some kind of sense. She could protect people by using guns, she could help others and uphold justice. She could do anything and not feel ashamed for it.

However, where should she be ashamed anymore. The whole existence of this character was a real shame. She understood the original Yang Yulan a little, and she was sure that the crazy princess would have understood her too. Maybe the real princess was in the same situation as her. Maybe that's why she was constantly trying to kill herself. Maybe she wasn't crazy, but just tired. And now she's finally coming to rest.

The flow of thoughts was suddenly interrupted by the sound of light, cautious footsteps. A familiar mustachioed man approached the cell where the princess was sitting. The girl came to her senses, but did not dare to talk to him, exactly until he began to nervously open the cage.

– Have you come to free me?

– Are you going to ask me why I came here, or are you going to come out first?

Yang Yulan didn't know how to react.

– Listen – the man sighed – This is going to sound ridiculous, but I've never been involved in kidnapping. Usually, the guys and I hunt rare animals. Never people. You managed to make the boss very angry. And he's a stubborn man. If you had shown him your fear and screamed a couple of times, he wouldn't have touched you.

– Is that why you decided to release me?

– That's not the only reason... Actually.. You were right when you said I wasn't like them. I've only been working in a gang for a couple of months. I absolutely do not like to rob or kill, and I certainly will never dare to raise my hand against a woman. To be honest, until recently I had never seen women in my life.

– How is that? – Yang Yulan exclaimed, and then, realizing her mistake, covered her mouth with her hand. She decided to remain silent until they left the basement. But at this time, as they climbed the steep dark stairs, the man continued to talk.

– A couple of months ago, I was still an exemplary monk. In our church, a vow was made not to touch women. So I refused any interaction with them. It's easier that way.

Yang Yulan's eyes bulged in surprise. She had never heard of such a thing before.

– You're probably wondering what I'm doing here then.

Yang Yulan nodded, and Tai Zi smiled sadly.

– What brought me here is what people usually call desperation. Yes. It was the most real despair. Sometimes in life you have to go against yourself and do stupid and even wild things. And then regret these actions for the rest of your days.

– But let's not talk about it. We're almost there.

A couple of people finally made it to the exit. They quietly walked past the guards who were standing nearby and hid in the thick night darkness behind a pile of wooden boxes.

– You need to get out of here – the man said.

– But how will I do it? There are people everywhere

– Look over there.

Tai Zi pointed the girl to the wall under which there was a pile of large dirty rags. The wall was quite a long distance from their current location.

– There is a small loophole under this pile. You can get through.

– But I can't get there unnoticed.

– Don't worry. Most of the guys are celebrating a big jackpot right now. I'll distract the others.

– Won't you come with me?They'll punish you if they find out.

– I'll figure something out. Don't worry.

– Thank you very much – Yang Yulan felt deeply, but at that moment an unpleasant dull pain arose in her chest.

– It's too early to thank me. Let's get out of here first.

A long-drawn-out bird howl cut through the cold night air. The black spirit was being carried in a cage not far from the place where a couple of people were hiding.

– Where are they taking him?

– Into the same cell you and I just came out of. The boss has already made arrangements with the right people. It will sit in the dungeon with the other animals for a while, and tomorrow at dawn he will leave for it's new master.

– With others ? I thought it was just me in the dungeon.

– No. There are many other animals there. They're just scared and silent.

Yang Yulan suddenly felt a strong pain in her chest again.

«Not again. Not now.»

– Come on – the man patted the girl on the shoulder.

«I need to save myself. I can't even think about anyone else's life. It's very dangerous.»

– Are you coming or what?

«Xinling! Just once! For once in your whole stupid life! Turn on your brain and make the right choice»

– Hey – the man called out to the girl again. She, as if scalded, took off and ran in the opposite direction from the saving wall.

– Where are you going!? The exit is in the wrong direction!

– I know! I'm going to save the rest of the animals! I can't leave them. You don't need to help me. Thank you again, the girl said before completely disappearing into the darkness of the night.

– What! ? You're insane! – Tai Zi whispered, being afraid to attract too much attention

– I will never help someone again!