"Ah, very good, you have finally gotten something hammered into that thick skull of yours... Maybe we should have father do this more often!"
"That is not very funny Baldur, i do not wish to make the same mistakes again."
That was news to me as he was already readying up to fight his brother.
"Then why are you fronting up to fight?"
'Boom, hit it on the head, how can he be this dense? What happened to the movies' Thor?'
"I am not... This just naturally happens when Mjolnir senses i am in danger."
He gestured to the armour he was now sporting as if it should be obvious to everyone. I rolled my eyes as Illyana giggled slightly. Loki was snickering off to the side whilst Baldur just gave him the deadest glare i had ever seen.
"Why do you sound as if we should all know that when you are the only one that wield Mjolnir, the temperamental hunk of metal..."
Lightning arced off of Mjolnir as if in response to Baldur's words, causing the man to sigh deeply as his beard tussled slightly from the movements. Thor quickly holstered Mjolnir to the side of his armour before approaching Baldur with his arms wide open. Baldur looked at him as if he were a complete buffoon but accepted the hug nonetheless.
Loki tried to sneak away behind one of the buildings but was caught off guard as a small light beam snaked in front of his nose, an ozone smell proceeding the beam.
"Not you sneaky brother of mine. You will now have to be taught a lesson."
He turned to Thor again.
"You will also be taught a lesson."
What happened next was a massive beat down. Thor swung his hammer around as lightning arced and tore towards Baldur only for him to deflect it as he spun his glaive. Baldur then proceeded to sweep their legs from out under both Loki and Thor, starting to cut off their armour without any resistance as his extended right hand held a light rune that bound them with ropes of light, comparable to the lasso of truth from Wonder Woman. (No DC is not a part of this multiverse).
With that he began to peel away their clothing and started adding illusion runes that gave them scandalous outfits followed by silly makeup and eyeliner. By the end of the process they looked like fetish enthusiasts that enjoy dressing like women despite how badly they dressed themselves. Sufficed to say that me and Illyana were cackling in laughter as Baldur had a large mirthful smile covering his face as he thought about where he could hang them from to get the largest reaction out of Asgard's citizens. Yeah, he didn't care about reputations, they messed up his time with his daughter, they deserved everything they got.
Funnily enough when Thor regained his powers so did Loki, so he was now trying his best to create a clone and switch out with it. Baldur wasn't born yesterday however as he merely crushed any clone that appeared before he could switch out.
"Father really tied my own powers to Thor's!? How stupid is that?"
"About as stupid as raiding Jotunheim without an army or any support."
Loki went silent as he sighed in defeat moments later, unable to give any funny or cocky response. I could feel his mind turn towards ideas such as 'Why me?', 'Why do i always have to be stuck to his mistakes?' and 'Life sucks...' I very quickly lot myself in laughter as i continued to hear his internal monologue with the help of my Jigenkan.
"Loki, you agreed to help him voluntarily, you are just as responsible as he is... Seriously how can you two be the prospective kings with this lack of accountability. I see i need to suggest more lessons with Hela for the both of you."
Shivers ran up both of their spines as the thought of their sister 'training' them again brought back torturous memories.
"T-there is no need for that brother!"
"Y-yes, please don't send us to her!"
A coldness began to spread into the surrounding dimension as a presence made its existence known. This truly brought dread to the brother's faces as this frigid coldness only came from Hel, the plane of Death for the Asgardian pantheon.
"Fuck..."
"Fuck? What is a fuck?"
"It's Midgardian for ᚠᚢᚴᚴ"
He spoke in a foreign tongue that sounded similar to old Germanic or Norse. Baldur nodded slightly after that, his tongue rolling the word around.
"Fuck, i like it, quick and concise a lot less derivative than our version."
As the fight seemed to have died out completely I slowly lowered our platform as Illyana and me stood up and approached the edge. When the platform was fully merged with the bottom of the dimension again we finally walked over to the gaggle of gods.
"Right, well now that is out of the way could we possibly get out of this stuffy dimension?"
"Haha, sure, i'd like to see a Midgardian's reaction to this display."
He gestured to Thor and Loki's unfortunate condition.
"Most of us would probably either laugh or ignore it. To be honest there are a lot of weird Midgardians, or humans as they call themselves here."
Illyana prodded me with an elbow as she had some frustration within her eyes.
"Sorry but I can't exactly call myself human, neither can you or the Mutants really."
She seemed saddened by my words as I knew she wanted the Mutants to be accepted by society. Baldur ignored our current conversation as he stopped another Loki clone. Deciding that Baldur is probably going to break his way out if he doesn't get out soon i began to pull us all back into normal reality, the surroundings morphing and bending into finite, form fitted shapes again, the fractals disappearing.
When we emerged the SUVs were all still there but now there were tonnes of Shield agents surrounding where we had originally disappeared from, now looking at us stunned, all movement stopped.
'Arg, this is going to be a headache!'
Illyana gave me a quick kiss whispered her goodbyes and disappeared in a flash of white light. I was looking at where she had stood before my feelings jumbled as i felt slight betrayal and a hint of envy.
'I could do that too!'
I began my attempt but Coulson was way too quick.
"Mrs Emelia, it seems you have come back finally and with the two outside visitors no less. Could we have a moment of your time?"
'For fucks' sakes...'
[Hehe, how does it feel?]
'Like you'll be given a spanking if you keep it up.'
[Jokes on you i'm into that!]
'That's fine.'
[I-i was joking, please don't!]
'Heh.'
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Another one! Hope you enjoy.
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