chapter 15: should've been more grateful

"Are you all alone or are there maids?"

"My family don't have maids. Sure my parents are busy but they still have time to do chores and their responsibilities as a parent to me."

"It seems like you already got used being left alone"

"It's not a new thing. Secretly, I enjoy it." I smiled.

I walked Aiden to the guest room and told him that he can sleep there. I gave him towels and one of my pajamas.

"You stank by the way" I said, so straight to the point.

"I haven't showered since the day I left home... You must be disgusted with me right? I hugged you a lot tonight..." he said in a low tune. He seems so down because of his parents and I just add negativity to his failing current. I need to show him that I am not disgusted by him. I like him, so I gave him open arms.

"Han..."

"I'm not disgusted with you... But I really need you to shower. I don't want you to get sick" after saying that he just replied to me with a smile and walked to the bathroom. The guest room has its own bathroom so I left him in the room while I prepared instant noodles for dinner.

Just after I finished cooking the noodles, that is when I realize,

"Fuck this is so cheap... I'm having a guest coming over, who probably hasn't eaten yet for days, yet I served him only noodles?" Imagine having a big house with a shiny ass chandelier on the ceiling in the lobby, yet you serve a guest an instant noodle? That's stupid. I should have cooked something more special. Just when I was about to order something from my phone, Aiden is already coming to the dining room.

"Here you are... I can't find you. I thought you were in your room... I look for you everywhere that I got myself a house tour" he jokes. Of course that's only to hide his sadness.

"Sorry but I only cooked instant noodles for us tonight. You probably want to eat rice, don't you?" He shook his head

"This is fine. I haven't eaten yet for these past two days because I was scared my money would run out..."

Before this I have always thought that Aiden is severely privileged from his rich family. Judging from his appearance at school. Maybe it's just his vibe only, not to mention the necklace he always wears makes him look richy.

and hot.

The dinner is not as awkward as I thought it would be. We joked around, laughing together, complaining about how spicy the noodle is, screaming because of how unhelpful the water was, it was just me. Aiden is very good with spiciness. I also can see how starving he is so I let him cook another packet, in which he ended up eating all the remaining packets. He finished eating all 4 packets before I could even finish my noodles. If you can't handle spicy food, then don't eat it. If you're in the mood to eat it, then at least don't pour all of the spices.

After the dinner we went to our room separately. I did not do my studies that night because of how overwhelming the night is. Having your crush sleep at your house, oh that's some crazy shit opportunity there. This is so bad for my fantasies. Just when I thought the night couldn't get any better, I heard a knock on the door of my room. I rushed to open it because I know it is Aiden.

"Yes?"

"Um... This may sound very weird but, can I sleep with you?" AH SHIT. AIDEN. ME. SAME BED. TONIGHT. FUCK YEAH!

"Oh... Sure come in" keep it cool dude, keep it cool. You're so cool right now.

"You don't mind right if I sleep on your bed with you?" DON'T MIND? I LOVE IT

"No, why would I? It's not like you're going to bite me." I joked. He just smiled a little, okay now this is awkward.

"Han, I wanna tell you the rest of the problems." He said. I got so overwhelmed tonight that I forgot the reasons why he's here sleeping with me. I forgot that it's not because he likes me. But that would make me a bitch right if I used his lowest point as an opportunity to feed my fantasies?

"If you're ready to tell me then go ahead"

He took a deep breath before begins.

"My parents were so disappointed in me because of my bad report card results. Actually they are not that very mad, it's just that I made the situation worse because of my temper. They were only joking around about how my cousin is much better than me and if they were given a chance, they would really love and appreciate it if my cousin is actually their son. I bursted out of anger and we had a bad fight. I told them that I'm leaving home. I thought that they would stop me but they didn't. Because of my egos, I decided to leave home. I use the remaining hundreds in my wallet to rent a motel room. I don't have any clothes so I haven't showered for days. I was so hungry but I'm scared that my money wouldn't be enough to pay the rent. It's only less than a hundred per night so I managed to pay. Until the day you saw me at the convenience store. I don't have enough money to pay for another night so I decided to check out of the motel. I was on my way to buy myself food at that time. It was very depressing to me and I don't actually want anyone I know noticed me in that situation, ultimately you... But God still finds a way to hurt me."

By the end of his explanation. Aiden couldn't hold it anymore, he finally bursts out of tears. His loud crying and trembling voices as he lets go of his sorrow. I pulled him into a hug and patted his back. This vulnerable side of Aiden is so foreign to me. A man who has told me to stay positive and told me that I am amazing, comforted me when I am sad, gave me words of encouragement, is now crying in despair. I don't care if my chest is now wet with his tears, probably his snot and saliva as well.

This man just shows me that I should have been more grateful with my life. All of these times, I have always, constantly, complaining about how difficult my life is. Have to stay at the top, have to keep the perfect image, have to be better than anyone. I never look at the gifts in life that I actually have been given, a well earned family, loving parents, decent abilities in study, good friends, decent face and ultimately, health. After listening to Aiden's explanation, it made me realize that I do have it easier than some people. No one forces me to be perfect, I'm the one who forces myself. My parents have never told me to always get good grades, I'm the one who told myself that. All of these times, I'm the one who slowly kill myself. I should stop, I should be more grateful.