chapter 17: beautifully beautiful

It's Monday. When I thought that Monday was 'never going to be exciting and fun' day forever, today is an exception. I woke up earlier than I normally do because I don't want to shower after Aiden. I don't want him to see my body. I turned off the alarm and went straight to the shower. After my morning shower to my surprise it is still so early, still about an hour and a half for school. I take a look at Aiden first before taking off the towel on my waist. He seems so deep in dreamland, looking so comfortably sleeping. Although I am confident he's asleep, I'm still in doubt so I turn my front body so that he can only see my back. I quickly got into my school uniform because I was scared that he might suddenly wake up.

Once I finished wearing my uniform, I looked at the time and it's still incredibly early and decided to wake Aiden up a little bit later. Before going down to the kitchen to prepare for breakfast, I take a look again at Aiden to mesmerize his beauty. His beautifully closed eyes, his silent breath, how his mouth opens a little, just so beautiful. Even in his sleep he still looks majestic. His lips have never been so alluring before, the coveted upwards pointing lip corners, even if it's not so red, why does it seem so kissable? I'm fighting the urge to kiss his lips. Just this way is already enough for me. If I do stupid things, Aiden might stop wanting to be my friend. I rather have less than nothing.

"Continue your sleep okay? I'll wake you up soon... Don't worry" I run my hairs through his now long, soft and blacked hairs. Nothing can make this dude ugly, even his sleeping hair doesn't do any damage to his handsome face.

I walked downstairs and started making pancakes for my parents and Aiden. My parents usually woke up later than me because their work time is late in the morning so they would only be awake to send me to school and then went back to sleep as soon as they arrived home. After I finished cooking, I went upstairs to wake my parents and Aiden.

"Aiden, wake up. Go shower" I shook his body. He makes a groan for a second before sitting on the bed.

"You showered already?" He asked me with his small opened eyes.

"Yes. Now go shower, I will get your school uniform" he eventually stands up and walks to my bathroom. While he's showering, I went to my parents bedroom to wake them up before grabbing Aiden's freshly ironed uniform. I once again entered my bedroom to hang the uniform before Aiden finished. However, I was too late. No, he was too fast.

The moment I walked into the door, there's the boy, standing topless in the wet. The water from his hairs, dripping down, sliding down on his bare, appetizing chest, decorated with pinkish nipple. His chest is not that big and buff like those who went to the gym but you definitely would drown yourself into it. The water continued to slide down to his perfectly toned abs and his perfectly trimmed happy trails, from his cute belly button, running to a possible bush hiding under that towel on his waist that is not so long and only managed to cover three quarters of his upper thighs. Although I have seen his more exposed upper thighs when he wore his sport short, this is more hypnotizing. His other towel on his shoulder he used to dry his wet hair. Everytime he raises his arms to dry his hairs, the peak of his slightly hairy armpit is seen, with his biceps contracted as he puts more force with the drying. I stood still for a good minute, mesmerizing this beautiful creation of god.

It's a good view and I can't help but to continue appreciating it without permission. It was before Aiden looked back at me and we met eyes.

"You showered very quickly yet smelled amazing." I complimented, still trying not to get lost while looking at his body.

"Thanks to your body soap I guess" he just laughed and continued to dry his now more dried hair.

"Here's your uniform, after you're done with anything, go downstairs for breakfast." I quickly hung the uniform and left the room. I can feel my heartbeats beating like a hummingbird would. The image of his uncovered body still running through my head. I took a deep breath and tried to focus on something else so that the red cheeks could go.

In the dining room, my parents and Aiden mostly talk. Not just for today's breakfast but most of the time when we were having meals. My parents seem so in love with Aiden. My parents even let Aiden call them 'mom' and 'dad'. I'm scared that Aiden might find it weird but he said it's fine because he called his parents 'mama' and 'papa'. With the laughs and non stop chatting happening between them, it made me feel comfortable to leave them on their own as I excused myself to my room to do my makeup.

As I stared at myself in the mirror of my make-up table and thought of how fake I must have been at school. The memories of being a shitted on at school because I didn't wear my makeup, rushes all back in a bleak. I shook my head, trying to forget and ignore those memories as I poured the hydrating lotion on my palms. When doing my eyebrows, my door was knocked.

"What are you doing?" Aiden asked

"Preparing for school, why?"

"Wait, you did make up before going to school?"

"Yes, why? You're going to judge me?" I asked furiously, I got intimidated easily when I got asked questions about my makeup.

"No. It's just that, did you wear makeup at school all of these times?"

"Yes. Why?"

"I didn't realize it. Honestly even right now, you still look the same as you were minutes ago, yesterday and last night."

"Because this is not heavy makeup. It's only a simple makeup to enhance my look. To hide my little bumps and all my insecurities." Aiden went silent for a few seconds while staring at me in the mirror.

"Han, your face is perfect, there's no need for you to be insecure. I'm pretty sure people at school wouldn't even realize your flaws if you went to school bareface!" He tries to comfort me. I stared back at Aiden from the mirror before turning to my back to see him. I took a deep breath and told him my experience.

"There was a time when I purposely didn't wear my makeup to school. Everyday at school, there would be boys, waiting in the hallway for my arrival to give me their letters. However, on that day, when I walked down the hallway, crazily, they all canceled their plans. They ran toward me and when they saw how unbalanced my skin tone was, how bumpy my forehead was and how dull my lips were, they all gasped loudly and the hallway was filled with whispers of calling me ugly." I can feel tears in my eyes, all I know is that once I blinked, the tears will come down non stop.

"Last year, I accidentally woke up late. Later than my parents usually do. I have to shower, iron my uniform and do my make up in a rush. My dad was already in the car at that time, repeatedly honking and yelling my name. I decided to wear my red lip balm in the car and quickly ran downstairs. When I was in the car, I continued to brush my eyebrows and when I was about to wear my lip balm, I couldn't find it. I accidentally left it and I went to the school without wearing it. I also had an ulcer so my lips were extremely dull and dry. So dry that it's skin peeled off. The other students, of course, started to talk shit on me saying how disgusting I looked. For a week straight I didn't receive any letters. All these memories lead me to feel insecure about my face and flaws. A lot of people tried to comfort me, but I just can't trust them. It felt like you guys are just lying to make me feel better on myself." At that point, I had already lost it.

I started to sob and tears came out from my eyes nonstop. Can't believe that I am showing Aiden this vulnerable side of me, but I don't care anymore. Suddenly I was wrapped by a warm embrace.

"It's okay... Let it all out, keep crying." He comforts me. It feels so safe in his arms. His words of comfort make me cry even harder because I feel touched. After a few minutes, after a good cry, I finally stopped. Aiden pulled himself away from me and asked me if I'm alright. I just replied with a nod.

"Great... Now listen to me. Han, you're beautiful. I don't know who are those students that told you are ugly because to me you're not. We have been classmates for years already and throughout those years, I have never, not even once, think of you or see you as an ugly person. In fact, there's no such thing as ugly person, not a single human deserves to be called ugly. Unless they are mean and have a bad personality, even if they are attractive, they are the ones who deserve to be called ugly!" He then kneed down and wiped my tears with his hand and cupped my face.

"I want you to be more confident in yourself, Han. You constantly put yourself down, doubting yourself a lot and that kill me you know! Sure! We all have imperfections! But those imperfections make us perfect and human. You can't please everyone Han. Even if you donate every single person in this world a million, stop the world hunger, stop the climate change, there still will be people that are left dissatisfied. If you keep focusing on them then you will miss the opportunity to enjoy life! Okay I have to admit that I don't have this problem as you, and I probably will never understand how difficult it is. But I want you to know that you're beautiful in my eyes, in the eyes of people who love you, who care about you, so, why don't you just care about them and ignore those people who are filled with hatred?"

My insecurities are killing me. What Aiden said was real. If I keep focusing on hiding my insecurities and flaws just to please people who don't genuinely care about me, then I'll lose the opportunity to enjoy my short life. I smiled at Aiden and hugged him tightly.

"Thank you Aiden... You're so kind. I'll forever be precious to you." I told him.

"You're welcome, now why don't you continue your makeup? It's already late"

I quickly turned my head to the clock on the wall and it's already 7:15am.

"Shit! My bumps and dark circles are still visible! I won't have enough time to do my hair..." I talked to myself. Suddenly, a crazy idea crossed my mind. An idea that once crossed my mind years before which leads me to a traumatic experience.

"You know what Aiden... I'll just wear my lip balm and do my hair... If all they can see is my flaws, then they are the problems." I said as I wore the lip balm. The lip balm that I'm using gives my lips a natural red color which makes it look like my lip is naturally slightly pinkish red. I styled my hair real quick before grabbed my bag and went downstairs with Aiden. It amazed me how effortless he is to make himself look attractive. The only thing he did was apply his vaseline on his lips and style his hair.

"Ready for your first day at school after being absent for a week?" I asked

"Yes. But you have to walk in the class with me. I'm quite nervous about that..." He said while slowly turning his head to the window.