The Cat Burglar

I crouched stealthily in the shadows, peering through my night vision goggles at the impressive Victorian mansion across the street. After months of meticulous planning, tonight was the night I would pull off the most daring heist of my career. I glanced at my watch - 2:13AM exactly. It was time.

I leapt gracefully from my hiding spot, landing without a sound on the spongy grass, and sprinted across the wide lawn. The owners of this mansion, the wealthy and eccentric Montague family, were vacationing across the country this week. Which meant I had full, unobstructed access to their highly-touted, ultra high-tech vault that held millions in cash and jewels. I smiled to myself as I approached the mansion wall. This was going to be fun.

I quickly scaled the side of the house, my black ninja suit and specialized grip gloves allowing me to ascend to the third story balcony. As I pulled myself over the railing, ignoring the dizzying view below, I paused and surveyed my surroundings. The enormous backyard was deathly silent and still. An ornate fountain bubbled gently in the darkness. The only light came from a few dim security spotlights poking through the lush garden foliage and flower arrangements dotting the patio area.

So far so good. I was certain the family's blundering security system could not detect me. But still I kept to the shadows as I crept to the balcony door which I picked cleanly in thirty seconds flat. These old fashioned wealthy types loved the charm of original manual locks. But no match for my skills.

I eased open the door just enough to slip inside, finding myself in a cavernous study. Dark wood-paneled walls of books towered to the ceiling, while a giant tiger skin rug lay before the cold fireplace. I spied the gleaming pool table and crystal decanters of liquor against the far wall. Portraits of frowning rich ancestors frowned at me through the blackness in judgment. But I paid them no mind.

With my goggles illuminating my path in an eerie green glow, I crept soundlessly down the heavy mahogany staircase to the ground level and slunk to the first floor study where I located the secret panel disguised within the wall of hunting trophies and maps. And behind that panel lay the heavily augmented steel door protecting the Montague vault.

Cracking my knuckles, I made quick work of the endless locks, keypads, alarms and sensors. Nothing could keep me from this room tonight. With a final beep, the final alarm deactivated and, with enormous effort, I slid the massive door open on its tracks, stone grinding upon stone. As expected, an enormous walk-in safe faced me, about eight feet on a side and ten feet tall. The curved door glinted with the shine of four inches of solid steel. And a sprawling network of laser sensors weaved throughout, indicating that one false step would trigger the security fail safe, locking me inside.

I studied the lasers for a long time, absorbing the patterns through my goggles. Then in one rapid, practiced set of motions, I glided through the red web - bending, jumping and flipping gracefully and finally landing, untouched, in front of the safe. Deftly maintaining my crouch below the lower laser grid, my hands expertly found the dial and began calculating the correct combination. Only two minutes and a satisfying clunk of the heavy bolts later, and the door creaked slowly open before me.

Inside glittered the largest trove of jewels and cases of cash I had ever seen. The small vault itself was about six feet by six feet, but stacks upon stacks of gold bars, royal jewels and diamond necklaces twinkled before me. My breath caught as their aura of wealth and prestige washed over my humble thief's soul. For a long moment I admired them in awe - so much hard-earned treasure before me.

I may have gotten a little cocky then as I hastily began cramming pearls, rubies and emeralds into my pockets. The job was going splendidly. Though a small part of my mind reminded me nothing ever goes exactly as planned.

Sure enough, only a few minutes later, while I was stuffing wads of cash into my duffle bag, I heard a small mew behind me. I whirled around to see a tiny black cat sitting on its haunches just within the safe. It stared at me with large golden eyes, then meowed loudly before strutting casually through the laser field. Needless to say I was stunned. How could a mere house cat get past this security system?!

My mind racing, I turned back to my work, keeping half an eye on this mysterious feline, unsure if I could trust it. It was probably fitted with some kind of sensor or tracking device, I reasoned as I began dividing up and pocketing the loose jewels along the safe's walls. As long as I made my escape before the cat snitched, I should still be able to get away cleanly.

I hurried to fill the last money pouch and zipped it securely. But as I flung the bag over my shoulder and prepared to exit, I glimpsed the cat directly in front of me, not three feet away, sitting calmly licking its paw. We locked eyes for a tense moment. Then without warning, it darted forward and wove quickly between my legs. I tried to dodge but it was too late - I felt my feet tangle as I crashed to the hard stone floor. Instantly, pulsing red alarm lights flared through the room and an ear splitting siren wailed. On instinct, I untangled myself and sprung across the laser grid in one graceful bound then spun to dash through the safe door, leaving it hanging wide open behind me.

My mind raced as I sprinted bumblingly up the grand staircase, legs heavy with stolen loot. Clearly that cat was specially trained to guard the vault by interfering with any intruders! I should have suspected as much from such an elite billionaire family. Of course they could afford a weaponized attack feline with covert laser sensor training! Utterly foolish of me to let down my guard!

I stumbled awkwardly down a plushly carpeted hallway as I fought to recall my mental map of the maze-like mansion. Adrenaline and panic flooded my body and clouded my planning. I needed to find an exit immediately before the police arrived.

Frantically I leapt through an open balcony doorway, hoping to retrace my steps, then skidded to a stop in horror. Standing on the balcony railing, blocking my escape route, was the blasted cat. My heart sank at its self-satisfied look. A low growl emanated from deep within its throat as we faced off yet again. How could this confounded creature move about so freely?! Surely the security system should have trapped it inside like me! Unless...unless the cat was controlling it all somehow. My suspicions deepened. This was no ordinary house pet - that must be why it could bypass the laser sensors with ease and lock me inside!

Not keen on finding out what further tricks it had up its furry sleeves, I whirled and dashed back inside searching for any other way out. I sprinted down two more darkened hallways growing more turned around by the second. Then I stumbled into what was clearly a little girl's frilly pink bedroom. Lacy bed, stuffed animals, watercolor paintings adorning the flowery wallpaper. A decorative dollhouse and toy castle sat against the far wall as my chest heaved with effort.

I cursed my awful luck as I spun slowly, willing another exit to appear. But all I found was yet another hallway door and the room's main entrance. Suddenly the door burst open and in stalked an angry tabby cat, accompanied by two striped tiger twins and the blasted ninja black cat. I swore under my breath realizing my plight - soon to be a play toy for a brigade of feral felines.

My only choice was escaping down the unknown hallway door so, stumbling under my heavy bags of loot, I hauled open the door. To my immense dismay I faced only a very narrow spiral stone staircase descending into darkness. But glancing back at the hissing cats, I chose my fate of the ominous steps over death-by-feline. At least this route held a chance of escape!

I plunged boldly ahead into darkness, descending carefully one curving step at a time as cobwebs draped my face. The blaring alarm faded as I wound deeper then moments later, I emerged into a substantially larger room. I found myself in an old candle-lit basement library. Dusty bookshelves lined the stone walls on every side, broken occasionally by tall arched windows. Spaced widely throughout the library were simple rectangular tables topped with yellowing maps, compasses, spyglasses and other antique nautical tools.

Brow furrowed in complete bewilderment, I scratched my head. How curious to find such a cliché secret cryptic basement room in this mansion!

I prowled slowly between the bookcases searching for any hint of exit or significance to the strange collection when suddenly the whisper of a sliding wall panel meeting my left ear. I spun, drawing a ninja star on instinct as I faced my opponent - a sweet gray elder feline, slightly plump and moving somewhat stiffly.

She gave me a slow calculating blink with her wide yellow eyes. As I hesitated, unsure whether to engage in combat or spare the aging creature, she turned and casually padded down a cobweb-lined hallway just revealed by the secret door. At the end she glanced once at me as if beckoning me to follow before vanishing around the corner.

Still gripping my throwing star, I slowly trailed after the mysterious feline down the musty passage. This certainly smelled of another trap. Yet my options remained severely limited at this point. The tunnels appeared hand-dug with wooden supports and aged roughly hewn walls. Occasionally dim strings of lights flickered overhead.

After the twists and turns of numerous corridors I again faced the plump gray queen. She sat composed at the bottom of a narrow spiraling stone staircase illuminated by scarce flickering candles. Another careful, slow blink up at me, then she turned and proceeded upward. Likely my imagination in my exhausted state, but I could have sworn her furry gray face held an unsettling mix of mischief and wisdom. Nevertheless I cautiously continued to follow her ascent, senses on high alert for the slightest sounds of movement from above.

At long last we emerged through the open doorway of what appeared to be an ancient stone chapel. My jaw dropped as I gazed around in wonder while discreetly slipping my throwing star back within the folds of my suit. Milky moonlight shone through arched stained glass windows casting the mostly empty room in shifting colors. Crumbling wooden pews lined either side while wicked stone gargoyles crouched atop the columns. The dusty gray cat strode purposefully down the aisle hopping up the few stairs before a raised octagonal stone dais and the behind the central altar.

I tilted my head at her in dismay. Could this be a dead end? Where was my escape after all this?! Suddenly a loud grinding noise shook my bones as the entire altar slowly slid backward revealing yet another dark passage. Alright then, into the creepiness I go. With an anxious glance around the abandoned chapel I sprung down the passage after my furry guide.

Several minutes later the passage widened into a natural stone cavern with a large subterranean lake extending into the darkness. Rotting wooden docks lined the shore while a few decrepit rowboats swayed precariously, tied to rusty iron posts. I gazed quizzically at the mysterious gray cat now seated primly in the nearest boat. Well played, strange fur demon. But if you insist, I shall humor one final trap.

Leaving my bags of stolen goods safely stashed behind a large stone, I crept slowly into the rickety rowboat. The instant I sat, the rope fell away and the small boat jerked forward unnaturally across the dark silent water. I tensed, gripping the seat, nails digging into the slippery algae-slicked wood as we motored steadily yet eerily smoothly across the dark lake and directly into a low opening in the opposite shore which I had not noticed earlier. Behind me, the main cavern disappeared from view as we delved deeper into unknown realms. For seemingly endless moments we drifted through the winding underwater tunnel in total darkness and silence but for the occasional plips of water droplets. My hand unconsciously found my throwing stars as my mind cycled through wild speculations about this journey.

Abruptly we emerged from the tunnels into blessed fresh air and calm moonlight. I found myself floating upon a small lake nestled within tall steep grassy cliffs on all sides. As I caught my breath, the first sounds of nature reached my strained ears - crickets chirping softly, lone night birds calling and small creatures scurrying amidst the vegetation above.

I peered upwards scanning the ridges where wispy clouds drifted across the crescent moon. Then slowly rotated my gaze downward again until an even more astounding view slammed my reality yet again. There, towering before us across the tiny hidden lake stood an ancient stone castle, small yet magnificent in its architecture of sweeping arches, spindly turrets all encrusted in emerald green vines and crowned with flowering bushes. My jaw literally hung agape as we drifted ever closer to the shore of this fantasy realm. Where in blazes had this magical feline dragged me?!

My thoughts churned wildly as our little boat bumped gently against a stone dock adorned with ornate metal torch holders. As I shakily disembarked onto solid ground at last, my gray lady leapt daintily ashore and stretched her plump body before strutting casually past the first row of tinted glass castle windows. There she sat and smoothed a paw slowly over her face watching as I staggered onto the shore behind her.

Still wrestling to accept this reality, my gaze trailed upwards over the soaring towers to the very height of the regal old castle. There at the top of the highest center tower framed perfectly by the crescent moon glowed the silhouette of a gracefully perched cat. My breath caught and I had to smile. How perfectly picturesque. Chuckling softly I gave my furry guide a genuine nod of appreciation, finally allowing my guard to lower. By all appearances she had led me to safety after all despite blatant dazzles of peril. I may never solve the mystery of this realm, yet I could now breathe freely and bask in its beauty. With a happy sigh at odds with my dark thief's soul, I turned slowly, admiring my fantastical surroundings soaking in wondrous feelings of hope rekindled.

Another soft thump snapped me sharply to attention. My hand flew again to my stars until my eyes locked onto the culprit - a tiny black fuzzball capering awkwardly down the rocky incline nearby. It stumbled a bit on its oversized paws then sat back staring at me curiously with familiar large golden eyes. I tilted my head thoughtfully. What extraordinary coincidence to find this tiny kitten here, naturally resembling the rascally cat burglar... Then another small furball rolled down beside the first, this one covered in downy orange swirls. My eyes widened in shock. No...it couldn't be... Steadily, more baby cats spilled down the rocks to gather and stare innocently up at me. A dozen kittens of varying colors and patterns now encircled my feet peering up in wonder at this towering thief. My gaze shot back toward my guide now sitting proudly silhouetted in the moonlight, benevolent radiance framing her furry figure.

My hand rose slowly to my amazed face in revelation. This castle realm.... It must be her lair.... And these precious kits... HER kin. Which means... SHE had orchestrated everything back at the mansion. ... My mentor...was the true cat burglar mastermind all along, toying with me for her own amusement!

My shock morphed swiftly into profound respect tinged with wariness. I faced the elder thief and bowed slowly in acknowledgement of her supreme talents. Cleary I still had much to learn...

As she blinked her clever yellow eyes knowingly in return, I felt a tiny fang prick my shin. I glanced down to see two wide-eyed sibling furballs gnawing innocently on my boots. Despite it all, a genuine laugh burst from me and echoed off the castle walls. What an honor to be outsmarted by the wise feline queen of thieves on this enchanted night. My own mentor may lurk still undiscovered, yet now new legends haunted my future capers... and perhaps new goals glimmered on my horizon.

I scooped up a feisty orange puff in my palms raising her equal to my eyes. Yes, precious one. Grand new schemes may yet lay ahead for us all. With a sly grin, I turned my steps toward reclaiming my stolen bags, descending into vivid dreams of someday training upstart baby burglars of my own lineage. What fortune of failures tonight began an epic tale! Our quest now shone boundless under the twin blessings of cunning and unconditional love of family.