Withheld happiness.

Every night. I'll be here every night for her from now on. 

"Valleria." I spoke up quietly and touched her cheek "Wake up. Come closer to me. I want to hold you."

"You smell like my lavender soap." Valleria sighed as she snuggled into my embrace. I hugged her, angry at my insolence and relieved that there were still loyal men left in my army. My eyes burned and before I managed to realize what was happening, hot tears welled up in my eyes.

I couldn't even wipe them as I didn't want to wake her up again. 

Worries about her being targeted by my enemies never left my mind, but now, I had to be cautious even for the allies and my subjects. Why is this so stressful? Why can't I be simply happy?

'Because I did horrible things in my past.' 

I had to try so hard to banish these thoughts from my mind. Everyone deserves a bit of happiness. Even I do. And If not, I was determined to tear it bit by bit from Satan's hands.

I fell into weird dreams, filled with strange noises and pictures I had never seen before. 

"Love, wake up. Someone is knocking. You are probably needed, oh almighty ruler." Valleria's mellow breath tickled my cheek as she stirred by my side and kissed me.

I desperately didn't want to get out of the warm bed, filled with her sweet scent. It took me another minute till I heard the knocking again and it made me furious. 

"Wait here for me." I kissed her back and stood up. 

It was one of the councilmen I sent outside yesterday morning. I stared at him, barely holding back my anger.

"Your majesty is needed in the -"

"Is this about the reform I tried to publish yesterday?" I asked quietly, knowing damn well what this one is about. Money. Money and power. 

"Yes, my lord. We need to open the debate once again -"

I glanced behind my shoulder to find my wife still in bed. I closed the door to the bedroom and wrapped my arm around his shoulder as if he were a simple friend of mine, leading him out of her chambers.

"Sure, we can do that. But you are forgetting about one very important thing." I said as we stepped outside. I moved my hand closer to his neck and squeezed that spot in my hand, making sure he was in pain. "You are working for me. You are not more than a dog curled by my feet waiting for anything I drop on the floor. If you forget about this once again, I'll put you down on my own. Now, feel free to go to the council room, sit on your spot and wait for my arrival."

I raised my head and pointed to one of my men.

"Accompany him to the council meeting. Tell them to start without me and if this one speaks a single word, slit his throat." I gave out an order and patted the back of this eager nobleman to make him move.

I let out a content sigh as I closed the door with a smile. There is no way he will be able to keep his mouth shut for more than 10 minutes. This should be taken care of. Now the more pleasant duties.