'Should I go in?'
I was afraid of being presumed as presumptuous. However, it might be better to go in and tell her that it was okay and that she'd be alright.
Still, I was reluctant to knock on the door.
'What am I…'
Should I have gone in and comforted her? No, I wouldn't even know what to say in the first place.
'I can understand?' magic
How could I understand Cho Hyejin's feelings? She had lost her most precious friend and loved one at the same time. It was obvious that she was feeling an indescribable loss.
She was pretending to be calm and collected, but that might be her limit. If anyone else could support her, she would've been helped already, but that wasn't the case.
What about Lee Jihye of the Continental Protection Management Committee? Cho Hyejin used to spend a lot of time with her, but she hadn't been able to wake up for several days.
I felt like someone had to take care of her. Although I wasn't some psychotherapist or expert, Cho Hyejin was currently in a corner. She really needed someone who could lend her a shoulder.
'I was like that before.'
There was no comparison to the pain she had to be feeling, but there's a painful time for everyone. I was no exception. If Whitey hadn't come to me when I was so sick and tired of living…
When I looked down slightly, I could see a white dog wagging its tail.
I felt the crying gradually disappearing, but…
'Okay, let's go for now.'
It was quite the cheeky act. As I knocked on the door, I heard the urgency in her voice.
"W-Wait."
However, I had to open the door right away. I knew she'd definitely act as if nothing happened otherwise. She'd wipe her tears and pull herself together.
Afterward, she would greet me with her usual face and tone. She hadn't told me to come in yet, but I had no choice but to turn the knob quickly.
And…
"Cho Hyejin?"
"…"
"Cho Hyejin."
I already expected her to look disorganized, but she was a lot worse than I had thought.
It wasn't her face stained with tears that worried me. It was because of the blood flowing from her thigh.
It was overall a wound that seemed suspicious, like she was bitten by an animal, not just once or twice. It wouldn't be like that even if she pierced herself on the same spot again and again.
I could see a terrible stab wound that I couldn't even describe in words. Although I was absent-minded for a moment, I quickly realized what kind of injury that was.
"Self-harm."
She had hurt herself.
I had no choice but to think so because of the circumstances. There was still a sense of embarrassment on her face mixed with tears, but her expression soon began to turn into anger.
Living like she was pressured seemed to indicate that she was a top adventurer across the continent.
The enormous malice that I had never felt before shook my mind.
"What the…"
"I-I-I…"
"What the hell is going on!?"
I wanted to ask her what that was about, but the words didn't come out right.
When I saw her covering up the wound in a hurry, I couldn't even speak properly. My body was paralyzed by fear. Without even realizing it, my eyes were filled with tears, and my legs gave out, making me fall to the ground.
My lower jaw began to tremble, and my whole body was drenched with sweat. At that moment, I felt like I could lose my mind at any moment.
Waaaang!
I heard an unknowing sound.
The life and magic that clamped down on my body began to disperse. It was in an instant that my trembling body calmed down. I opened my eyes a little more and looked at her.
I didn't know what courage I gained, but I had to say one more thing that I couldn't normally say.
"That's what I should be asking, Cho Hyejin… What are you doing?"
"…"
"What's… What's that wound?"
"It's none of your business."
"How can I not care…"
"Get out of here right now. That's an order."
"I'm… not going out."
"Get out."
"I'm not going out."
"Fuck! Get out!"
"I'm not going…"
My body was shoved back with a bang. I didn't really know what happened, but I felt pain in my back and chest.
"Are you deaf? I told you to get out."
She was putting pressure on me. Tears were in my eyes. I couldn't relate to what she was feeling. It was a face stained with sadness, anger, and self-loathing.
"It's okay."
"Now…"
"Everything will be fine."
"…"
"Everything will be fine."
I didn't know what was going to be okay, or if things could really be better than before, or if I could ease the pain she had, but I had no choice but to speak up.
I didn't know how to comfort her, so I desperately said those words instead. Still, I expected it to be a little comforting, at least.
I was like that too, after all. I knew it was definitely helpful for someone to hear it's okay whenever times were hard. I kept talking.
It was going to be okay. I at least had to tell her that.
"Every… everything… It will be okay. I… I just joined the guild and… I don't know what kind of feelings Cho Hyejin is actually feeling and how painful it must be… And I don't know if these are the right words for the current situation, but… It will be okay. I'm sure you'll get through this."
"It's not okay."
"…"
"Not at all… it's not okay."
Tears were dripping down her face. Unknowingly, I reached out and wiped them away. After a slight lift, I held her tightly and heard a steady sob.
"It was my… it was my fault."
"…"
"Nothing… nothing stopped… I couldn't… Ugh… nothing… I am…"
"…"
"My… I…"
"…"
"I… I… Huhu… Huhu… This time again… stupid… A dull, stupid woman."
She seemed to be choking up and unable to talk properly.
"I… I knew it. I can't… stop… There's… there's…"
"…"
"My…"
"It's not your fault."
"Such an… idiot…"
"Don't beat yourself up… You don't have to do that. No one thinks it's Cho Hyejin's fault. Yes, I'm sure… I'm sure of it. You don't have to blame yourself."
As I opened my mouth and slowly rubbed the potion on the wound, I noticed a painful frown. It's a healing process, but it's probably tormenting.
I didn't know if that sudden sting helped her wake up a little, but her cries were dying down.
As I looked up slightly, and I immediately saw her sitting awkwardly and ashamed.
It was only natural to react like that. It would be embarrassing if others found out that they hurt themselves. Anyone would be ashamed enough to push and pressure their way out through excitement.
How embarrassing would it have been to show such a broken appearance to a new and young guild member?
Emotionally driven, I felt I was regretting what I'd done.
'You have to be shameless at times like this.'
"Alone… I can do it alone."
I had to be more brazen. I had to let her know there was no need to be ashamed. I had to tell her I was someone she could lean on.
"No, I can do it. I'll put a bandage on you. I'm used to it because of Whitey."
"Waaaaang!"
"…"
"…"
"I'm sorry, I… Mistake…"
"No, I should be the one to apologize. I… I was a little rude, wasn't I?"
"…"
"But I wanted to let you know, although there isn't much I can do… I'm weak, and I'm not good at adapting to the guild, so I'm at a loss, but… maybe there's something I can do to help you. I thought about it, but I couldn't think of any. I want to be your strength somehow…"
"…"
"When I just joined the guild… During the interview, the Guild Master once told me…"
"…"
"He told me to tell someone if I was having a hard time, no matter who it was. If you have a good friend, you can talk to them, and if you have a sister or brother, you can talk to them as well. That way, you'll be less burdened. You'll be lighter and stronger, and you'll have the strength to hold on… He said it would be fun to carry heavy loads. Of course, I knew that was obvious, but at the words of the Guild Master at the time, I was so sure that I nodded several times without realizing it."
"…"
"I wanted to be that kind of person to someone. Someone who can share sadness and lift heavy things together with. Even though I'm full of mistakes and a fool… If you don't mind, I will try to ease the pain that Cho Hyejin must be feeling… Can I do that?"
I didn't hear any answers. I was worried if she would tell me not to be arrogant, but she nodded very slowly and finely instead.
'That's a positive expression, right? Is that a yes?'
I ended up laughing without realizing it. Tears filled my eyes with relief that seemed to have helped me a little. I didn't know if I relaxed, but I was losing all my strength.
When I wiped away my tears quickly, not wanting to cry on the bandage, I heard a voice.
"Well…"
"Y-Yes?"
"There's a place I'd like you to go with me. Not an order, but a request."
"Of course, where should we go?"
"…"
"…"
"To the Guild Master."
"…"
I didn't know what to answer. I heard a voice again while I was silent for a while.
"The Guild Master may be alive."
"…"
"I don't know if we can save him, or if that's even possible, but… The Guild Master is currently being treated by someone you know very well."
It was an unexpected story. But it was also good news, even more so if the Guild Master was really alive and in treatment.
"Raphael."
"Oh."
"It's Raphael."
Benignore once said, 'With the holy sword in his hand, the chosen warrior of the continent will fight against the darkness of demons who play false angels, and he will contribute to saving mankind from darkness on the left side of the hero that wielded the sword of sunset.'
"A prediction."
A phrase I had once read now passed through my mind.