Soliloquy of Marie Part-1

I like Eleanor. Umm..I don't know if that's the right way to put it. Maybe I like her because she is my best friend whom I have known since childhood, someone I grew up with. Or maybe I just look up to her, as there is no doubt she is the most perfect human I've ever met in my life. She is good at academics and good at martial arts, even when facing boys; she talks straight, maintains her posture in front of everyone, is calm-headed, and has earned enough respect and love from everyone that boys are always trying their chances and girls are feeling jealous of her.

Even with that straight, cool personality that she always has on her, she is a selfless person. Always ready to help and making it sound as if it's not a big deal for her, but sometimes it becomes obvious to me that she is burning out inside and wants to rest.

When people compare my looks to Eleanor's, they say I am more beautiful, and even she says that, but it's obvious that she is the preferred one because of who she is. Don't get me wrong; I am not jealous here, not even a bit. In the end, she is someone I adore a lot. Not for even once did she make me feel outcast; even after my free world—my jolly personality, which was the complete opposite of hers—she never hated me.

One thing for sure that I know is that she is always chasing after her father, whom she admires a lot, and always trying to chase his footsteps, and here I am, always observing her; it doesn't matter if she is beside me or far away. Thankfully, she hasn't caught my eye yet. Staring at her, or else she might creep out and won't talk to me again. *Sigh*

Hello everyone, I am Marie Florakis. Your weird, noisy girl who is always getting in trouble by teachers, friends, family, and even strangers for behaving insanely unconventionally in public, or more like as per what I want without giving much thought to it,

I used to be an orphan until age 4, when I was adopted by the Florakis family. So yeah, Florakis isn't my real family. I don't know my real one, as my earliest memory directly starts from the orphanage itself, and the pastor said I was found on the door with the name tag that just said—Marie.

The Florakis family are wealthy folks with a very good background, and they are genuinely good people. Even though I was adopted, they never made me feel like I was an outsider. Maybe they adopted because they wanted to do something good for society. I don't know why; I never felt like asking this question. They didn't have a child earlier; after a year of me coming into the house, they were blessed with a baby boy. As the elder daughter of the family, taking care of Hamil was my job.

And obviously, he was cared for and loved more, knowing he's the actual blood and a son of the family. I didn't mind it through. In fact, I am grateful for them, and I hope everything goes well for this family. After all, they are the reason why I got to wear all those good clothes, eat good food, get a good education, and also why I got to become friends with Eleanor in the playground when I was 7.

I used to go with Mom or the butler, and there was this girl who used to make castles with sand all by herself and act as if she were the queen. She used to make wooden and paper swords as if she were a real knight. From laughing at her to playing with her on a daily basis and finally getting hooked on it.

Sometimes she used to scare me by saying that it's her dream to explore Murk, and she wanted me to join her. I used to reject or reprimand her, obviously, because it's supposed to be a dangerous place. But in the end, I was somehow okay with it.

At the playground in the park, Eleanor was once reading a book seriously and questioning things that were written about the Murk and she always found it offending because priests used to say different things about it and official knights used to say different things.

"Hey Marie," said Elea, while I was beating one child down.

"Yes? What happened?" I let go of the kid and stood in front of her. She seemed lost in thought.

"Someday, when I want to go inside Murk,"

"Huhh? Are you an idiot?"

"Everyone is making different tales about it. I want to know the real truth."

"But But, It's dangerous, Elea; our parents, teachers, everyone says so."

"I know; still, I want to see," she said with a smile.

*Tap* I hit her head.

"Why would you do that?"

"What else but to tighten your loose screw?" I said. "You want to die there alone? Are you really an idiot? I used to think you were smart, but you are not!" I said, yelling at Elea.

"I won't die. I will become a knight first, so I'll be strong enough."

"Still, that does not make any sens-"

"And I am not going alone." Said Elea, looking sideways.

"Huh? Then who's going to join you on this suicidal mission?" I asked, being all clueless.

"I want you to come with me," said Elea. "We both will explore something new together."

I already knew somewhere inside that if she ever steps there, then I am joining her.

That's why I also chose to become a knight, so you can say I am following Elea's back. It didn't matter to me where I was, where I would end up, or what would happen. As long as I am with her, it's all okay for me, while keeping in mind that I am not becoming a hindrance to her or slowing her down, so I also worked hard and studied even though I hated it. Though I wasn't as good as she was, it wasn't bad either, and somehow I was able to make it through.

And the most recent event, where, for the first time, I felt intimidated by her. We were following her sister, Elyana. In a hurry, Elea grabbed me and held me in the corner against the wall. That caught me by surprise. I've seen her half-naked while changing, and we have hugged each other in the past too, but this was something weird. She didn't realise it, I guess, but her knee was rubbing my crotch, and our breasts were pressing against each other. I hate to admit it, but it was kind of tingling. In those moments, my gaze was locked on her open neck and the sweet scent that was coming from her, which felt like it was pulling me close. Then her lips, which were a few centimetres away from me, were where I could feel her warm breaths. *Sigh* No, I shouldn't think like this. It feels wrong, Aah.

And obviously, when Elea decided that she was going inside the Murk, how could I not join her? I tried to stop her but realised it's futile to do so.

The thing that ached my heart the most and put me in worry was her screams at night in the Murk. She was consistently having nightmares. She seemed troubled while sleeping, usually calling her mom and dad at times. I held her hand, and if that didn't work, I hugged her close. She used to cry a lot there until she passed out, and ironically, most of the time, she never remembered what happened at night to her, and I also played dumb so that she didn't take any more stress or overthink. Knowing her, if she comes to know that I was awake holding her hands or hugging her in sleep, she'll start blaming herself like an idiot for making me unable to sleep or whatever stupid reason.