Chapter Four

Sweet escape ~ Alesso ft serena

Caitlin

" Mom, I have a date tomorrow", I informed my mom, a little anxious. There might be a little part of me that hopes she'll ask me not to go. But my Mom, the teenager, had gladly permitted me, disregarding the fact I was telling her last minute.

"Have fun but not too much fun, okay?"She screamed cheerfully like she had hit a big jackpot. And I scurried out of the house embarrassed.

"Happy New year!!!!".

Yeah it was new year and I'll soon be returning back to school. I was a little too eager to resume and as much as I tried denying the "Why" I know it's the only reason and so does everyone. He had at last reached out but it was a little too late. It was the day after I went out on a date with KC. I surprisingly had a good time and loosened up in no time. He was a really lovely and funny guy. I couldn't count the number of times I had laughed at one of his neverending jokes and pick up lines. I had decided to keep in contact with him, though it had pained me to reject him but I wasn't ready for a new relationship besides I hadn't broken up with Dylan. At least I had not told him I was breaking up with him, so it wasn't official yet, technically we're still a couple. But I plan on telling him very soon as I'd love to end things as the year is ending and start over with the new year. Luckily for me he had visited my place so I didn't need to go over to his place.

It was hard voicing out my decision but I had to, it wasn't the easiest choice I had to make and I couldn't wait for everything to be over already calculating how long it'll take me to truly move on.

"Let's break up?", I whispered unsure.

"As if", was his assholey response

",You know you can't leave me, I mean look at yourself you're a literally mess without me,I had only ghosted you for a few days and it seems like you went through world war II", I was deeply wounded by the nonsense that came out of that shitty mouth of his and that only strengthened my resolve. How did I not see this? How had I blinded myself from the truth? I thought as tears rolled down my cheeks.

"I'm breaking up with you", I stated firmly as I for the first time in a long time stood my ground. I said my piece and not waiting to see his reaction I walked out of the living room and went to my room. It wasn't until I was in my room I noticed the fresh tears trailing down my cheeks.

"Caith, can you stop joking around and apologize as long as you're sorry I'm willing to forgive you , I mean it", He said as I was leaving, his voice sounded a little shaky but I was probably imagining things.

"Caith!," He shouted, after five minutes and still no word from me.

"Caithy! You don't mean what you said right?"He asked, his voice cracking as he desperately pounded on my door, the only barrier stopping me from pulling him into my arms saying it was all a prank, how I wish it was. I could hear his voice crack as he kept shouting my name. And I couldn't stop the dam from letting loose as I cried out, I was sure he could hear me from the other side of the door but didn't care as the pain I was going through felt like it would last an eternity and I was responsible for it , I had hurt myself with my own words.

"Please let's talk things out, we don't have to break up I'll change I promise", he pleaded as he too was now crying openly and it broke my heart to see this is what we had become. If he cared this much then why did he act the way he did? "Why!?", I questioned him in my mind as I cried more.

Back to the present. We were at church which is where we always spend our new year. From where I sat I could see Dylan looking pitiful and I had to force myself not to reach out to him. I felt like consoling him but I was the cause of the pain. It'd be hypocritical of me and would seem like I was mocking him. I could feel him stare at me from time to time and I know it wasn't only because of the longing he was feeling but the fact that I looked different, cause I'd done some makeover.

Shopping as I found out had proved to be very efficient when going through a breakup besides occupying one's everyday with work, something I'd always looked down on. I got myself gowns a complete, three- sixty from my usual plain looking shirt paired with faded trousers. And I'd fixed my hair disaster into neatly plaited braids. I knew I'd gone from one to ten. I'd always known I looked good, maybe a little above average but I'd never classified myself as hot or gorgeous. I won't lie, it was intoxicating and getting in my head. Funny how I already feel he's not my level anymore. My heart panged at the thought and I subconsciously rubbed my chest as I out of habit looked to my left where Dylan sat with no doubt a look of longing but surprisingly I wasn't as pained as I thought I would. Like to an extent I'd say I didn't feel heartbroken but I'd spoken way too soon.

"Happy new year!!"I was hugged by my little friend, a girl of about nine and I smiled at her cuteness before I also joined in the celebration forgetting my previous thoughts.

"Happy new year Angel". I froze momentarily as Dylan walked up to me, my brain cells scrambled in my head as I hopelessly grasped at my scattered thoughts for what to do. While my two- faced heart races erratically banging on my chest walls as if it wanted out. All my senses were attuned to him and as the only solution my brain could come up with I turned with a forced smile plastered on my face as I tried but failed miserably to look unaffected.

"You've got sweat on you", he said with a smirk and I stupidly wiped at a very dry face before realizing he was playing with me. For someone who looks dejected a few minutes ago he sure looks calm and collected. As much as I love that about him it's also the trait I hate the most about him.

"Hmmm, not funny", I whispered.

"You think so?", He quizzed and I responded with an eye roll

"Caith!!" My mom called. "Coming right up, I murmured", as I left without so much as an excuse or something along that line.

And that was the last day I saw him before I traveled.

Three weeks later

"I um I- I'm-i really, you know what? I'm sorry I totally forgot why don't we leave tomorrow,you know? That way I get to go with you instead of traveling alone and then from home I can take a flight back to school, or what do you think?"I asked as I subconsciously picked at my nails while the whole scenario of how I'd avoid Dylan played in my head.

I would try to spend less time back home prolly stay in my room for a couple of days and just go straight back to school once school break is over which will be in a few days time as I would rather go to school immediately I step on Alabama soil than spending another minute there with Dylan monitoring every of my movements but since that's kinda impossible cause of well you know stuff I'd settle for the former.

The guy's been pestering me since after church with phone calls and had even gone as far as cyber stalking me. I mean doesn't he get it? Calling me every friggin time with little to no time for myself even at night is borderline crazy and annoying and is getting real old and definitely not romantic and whatever-the-word-is like Romeo and Juliet. It's just not going to work out and he should cut it out with whatever bullshit he's had cooking to get back with me cause it's not gonna work but that seems to not sink in and it's frustrating hiding in my room because of his unaccepting ass.

"Ok we meet by nine and not a second later, alright", my mom asked, bringing me back to the present.

" Sure, I will definitely be there not a minute later", I reassured her.

" A sec", she affirmed before ending the call.

"Alrighttt, that was, that went kinda alright, I guess? ", I said as I got back to the poetry I was writing.

"January kinda seems alright, guess this year's gonna turn out all okay, yeah?", I said to my locked phone screen before going back to my notebook where I write my poetry or thrash as I like to call it. The one I was currently working on is titled "The Lie You Sold", a part of my Against Us collection, actually it's kinda the first in the collection.

The Lie You Sold

You said we had forever

I saw the truth in your eyes

Believed the lie you tell

I'm in love I felt

"I'd always have you", you'd say.

I'm standing alone instead, it was all vain.

Waiting for you, it's been years

"He's with another", or so I heard.

My mind like a never ending loop

Replays the lies I believed true

And though I now see the truth

My rebellious heart choose to believe in you

And it says I should too

After all the lies you sold.

Just after writing it I got hit with another and I quickly wrote it down before I lost it.

Flashback

" What do you recall the most?".

The first time we shared a kiss

How the heart pounding and heady and out of breath feeling gave an illusion of happiness

" Oh! That's a memory that never fades"

And the pain remains

Till this day it never leaves

As we ponder and continue to

" What went wrong?".

The question unanswered till now

I can still recall how she smiled

The look in her eyes

I believed she was mine

Oh! How I wished it wasn't a dream

I feel like restarting

Cutting it and finding something new

I want to, I really do

I freeze when it's time to

Fear grips my senses

And once again I relent

"Can't take that step?", "Yes" .

They were both kinda personal but I didn't want anyone to figure it out so I wrote it like this instead of the original one first drafted which is now torn to pieces all over the bed. I got another hit and that was how I kept going writing one after another till I fell asleep with my face literally in the note.

Take All Night by Conor Matthews was playing in the background as I got up from the bed and trudged like a zombie to the bathroom before realizing I hadn't made the bed I slept in last night and went back to do just that real quick.

"All done!!" I exclaimed tucking in the second shoe lace that took me a couple of hours, probably just three minutes at most, though it seemed to have lasted longer than that. I grabbed my backpack and went to meet my uncle in the living room who's been waiting for me to get ready. "I'm all set," I informed him. "Alright, your food's in the kitchen, eat something before we leave, okay?", He responded before going back to whatever it was he was doing before I interrupted.