Marceau III

Even though Marceau was being bullied in school. There was something else in his mind. Yes, Marceau was lonely and he had no friends. He was hated by everyone. He had no one to call family. He couldn't live in peace outside his house. But everything seemed little for him.

Marceau never wanted to be Marceau. He never wanted to be a boy. Yes he liked girls but also he wanted to be like them. One of them. Marceau hated man. They were the ones who tormented him all his life. There wasnt any good male figure in his life. So he despised man. And he also hated himself for being a man.

With all of this happening to him, he was in a really dark headspace. He hated himself for being a man, for being hated by everyone, for having no motivation to change things, for not being able to accept his thoughts. And most of all, he hated himself for wanting to run away from all these problems.

All these reasons led up to one vital moment in his life. He wanted to kill himself. No one would be sad about it. There were no reasons not to do it. Thats why he climbed up to the roof of the skyscraper he lived in. He sat there for a while with a notebook in his hand. He already had a diary but a suicide letter would make everything easier after his death. So he took the pan in his front pocket of his jacket. He took the cap of and touched with the tip of the pencil to the first page of his notebook. However he had no idea what to write. He had too many reasons to write all of it. In the end he made a short list.

"Suicide Letter"

Reasons:

•i am lonely and nobody will miss me

•i wont be able to do anything in the future

•i hate myself for being a man

After looking at the list for a whike he didnt like the first two reasons and ended up crossing over them. So the only reason left was his self hatred.

He got up and moved to the edge of the skyscraper. There were about 80 floors. The death would be instant and painless. He looked down from there for a while. Watched the people passing by. The clasic traffic jam of Istanbul. He looked to his right. There stood the famous bosphorus. He actually liked the bosphorus. He lived there for 17 years but he couldn't help but be amazed by the beautiful sight. The wind was blowing harshly. It was pushing him backwards from the edge of the building. He looked down for one last time and he lifted his foot to take a step off the building.