I Agree

Things were starting to become normal again.

I didn't cry every now and then. I didn't constantly think about Mom or how much I missed her.

I didn't think about just how fucking unfair the world was or what I was going to do screw it up even more.

Yeah, it sucked how fucking adaptive we were. I sighed and stared at the ceiling. Rexy was with me and was sleeping on top of my head.

Why did I even come here, seriously.

I had no answer. Some part me of wanted to save them, some part of me just wanted to see them in fucking forever, and some part of me wanted to be a hero or something along those lines.

What was done was done. So, there wasn't much I could just by thinking. I wanted to process all these damn feelings and just be done with it but that was taking too much time and too much energy so I didn't bother anymore.

Every now and then rogue thoughts of the academy and what I still had there came back. About exams and the people there and I kind of wanted to punch myself.

I was already thinking about the future and I hated myself for it. If I let this happen, if I let my bitch ass go through with this line of thought, I was sure I'd forget about the revenge shit and actually not go through with my plans.

And yet… Mom wanted me to live.

Wasn't it the best to respect her wishes and-

No, you can respect her wishes and still be victorious.

But what if I couldn't?

Again, I tried not to overthink but the thoughts sometimes just didn't stop. They flowed. And I let them to some extent. Way better than just letting them boil.

"Sol, you in?" Alustur said.

"I'm here."

He came in. "What did you mean by using the church against them? Even if you marry the pope's granddaughter it's not going to do you much. There will be a new pope in less than a year. It'll be meaningless. He's merely using you to stay relevant."

"To be honest, I'm not sure myself. Saying I'm going to use the church, and actually using them are two different things. If anything, I'm probably going to fail. No, it's likely that I will fail. Yet, just like I couldn't stop myself from trying to save them, or wanting to, I… I want to try this too."

"I see," he said. "I told you not to open the letter but I think you should."

"Why do you want-"

"You'll understand."

Alustur left.

I wasn't sure what he was even getting at. No, perhaps I didn't try to understand that. Lately, I'd become distant from people around me. I'd become distant from my own thoughts.

"Dear Soler,

I truly hope this letter finds you and finds you well. A lot has happened and I have married your mother. I am now your father but feel free to call me Den.

I'm writing this letter in front of your mother's grave. I will not tell you how she died, and I will not tell you what I'm going to do next. Your mother's last words were to never tell you anything. She wanted you to live in peace and have a long healthy life. Please respect her. I'm trying my best to keep the tears in but if some fall and smudge the paper, please deal with it. I am sorry.

I am sorry I couldn't save your mother. I am sorry I couldn't be a better father, or a person. I am sorry Sol.

Please find it in you to forgive me. However, know so that I will dedicate the rest of my life to bring justice for your mother's death. But please, please, be well and live a good life.

Yours truly,

Denkar Borges."

The letter was sort of a mess. It had a lot of starts but no real end. Den probably wrote in a frenzy and even he wasn't sure what he meant by it. At least apart from the fact that he didn't want me to intervene. He didn't want me to follow in his steps towards revenge.

That was a kind gesture but I couldn't agree with that sentiment.

I couldn't agree with this.

Even if Mom wanted me to not worry about revenge or keep going, then what? It wasn't like-

I sighed and lied down again.

Not a dilemma perse but I didn't know what to do. As I was, I couldn't do shit to the church. It'd take years to change the public opinion even with all my plans.

By that time, Den would probably… I didn't want to think about it. He wouldn't accept my help and no matter what I told him, he wouldn't stop. Den was rather stubborn in that regard.

But why did Alustur not want me to read this at first?

I stared at the paper for a while before eventually pouring a bit of mana on it. Mostly out of curiosity but something happened.

The letters vanished and new ones emerged.

"Sol,

This should only respond to your and Alustur's mana, so I would appreciate if you didn't show it to anyone else.

I know you won't listen, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. Firstly, I have some powerful friends in Slunten who don't like church so I'll get into contact with them. Next, I will formulate a plan to poison all the people in the church. This includes innocent people. Then I will announce myself as a Neogod who descended from heaven to ruin humanity. People will band together to stop me and I want you to be the one who leads them and ultimately lands the killing blow. You will become a hero and they will listen to everything you say. You will be the new king of the world. I know that's a lot and I know you will be sad and conflicted. But fear not, this is the best way to change the world. And I'm sure you'll make a great king.

Again, please forgive me, and entertain this final wish of your master, nay, father.

Den."

Huh.

Again, the fuck was this dude even trying to get at?

Neogod? Me a hero?

Huh…

"Done?" Alustur said. Apparently, he'd been waiting outside the whole time.

"Yeah."

"What do you think now?"

"Let's go to Sun port. This moron needs some whacking."

"I agree."