12. The vow

Three weeks went by, and although we fixed our issues with Sipho, things were never quite the same. These days he even developed the tendency of disappearing for days, not responding to my texts or calls, and only showing up when he wanted to feel my warmth. I don't know when or how, but I also stopped making contact with him. Another two weeks went by without any contact so imagine my surprise when he suddenly called acting like the best boyfriend in the world at 2:00 am.

"Hey babe, my friends and I were just clubbing in your neighborhood and I thought of you, do you mind if I come through, I really miss you...", 'Clearly, this guy thinks we both drink or smoke whatever he is on', I thought to myself, 

"No, Sipho ...I am not around, I went home for the weekend..."

"What? You went back to Silverton and didn't tell me??",

'The nerve of this guy, once again, there he goes infuriating me unprovoked, why is he irritated when he chose to mute me', my inner voice commented in disbelief.

"Sipho, how was I supposed to tell you when we don't even talk? Do you th-", he cut the call, yes, that was another skill he recently mastered, hanging up while I was talking. You'd swear he was writing a book titled 'Three Easy Ways to Make Her Lose Interest' because I was really losing interest. Usually, I would call him back, but today I didn't want to be bothered. Although I didn't love him that much, I was kind of looking forward to building something solid with him, but life had other plans. There goes another relationship adding to the list of failed relationships in my bag. I dozed off only to be woken up by Sipho calling again after 15 minutes

"Thandie, so you went home and didnt tell me, after all that talk we had, is this what you meant by communicating? Don't blame me if I find myself in someone else's bed tonight"

I could not believe it, this man was threatening me and acting like a victim. I lost my cool, all that self-restraint I had including my calmness and coolness melted away in a split second. I was not angry because he was planning on cheating and used me as an excuse for his despicable actions as if he was not already doing it. I was angry because he woke me up from my beauty sleep to tell me this crap.

"Sipho...I need to sleep, do what you want to do, and leave me alone....what d-.."

He hung up again. It was at this moment that I realized I had wasted my precious 4 months on another man-baby, my precious time down the drain. In the end, all men are the same, I made another vow: 'I will stop chasing relationships and start focusing on my career'... After 5 failed attempts at a serious relationship, one does tend to lose hope of ever getting it right.

It was painful for me because I was a firm believer of love, fairy tales, happy endings, and soulmates, I mean, how can you not be when your parents have been married for 30 years and still growing strong?

My heart ached as I thought of all the hopes and dreams I had, one of them included building a career with a supportive partner by my side. I wanted it all, just like my manager but what was I getting wrong? Was I perhaps cursed to die alone? Am I that hard to love or understand? Was I trying too hard? After a few hours of tossing and turning, I let out a huge sigh and mumbled to myself,

"I guess some of us aren't built for such luxury."

I got out of bed to have a glass of water, hoping I would eventually fall asleep. Damn that Sipho for disturbing my sleep and sending me on an unnecessary train of thought. I did not appreciate it at all, 'now I can't even go back to sleep', I got disturbed by an incoming text notification...

"Beep, beep", '

'Sipho is becoming a pain now if he keeps this up I will be forced to block him', I picked up while gearing for round 3, but to my surprise... 

"Ms. Thandie Lohan, are you awake?"