77. The Secret Garden-3

His words hit home, he really had me in my feelings, 'When would be the right time to let go? How will I know? What if I was letting go of my soulmate? But what if he was right?' All those questions kept jumbling in my head, I needed to get away because I felt like I was about to cry. I loved Walter and I knew we would be good together, I have had a glimpse of that, he just got me and I would like to believe I understood him better as well. How could I let go of something that felt so right? Back then, it felt like Khalinda was the reason we couldn't be together and I just needed to find him and make him see that things weren't as complicated as they seemed, I just needed a moment with him, at least 5 minutes. As much as I was sure of my feelings for him, thanks to Sandra and Ntando, I couldn't shake that small voice of doubt in my head, 'What if Ntando and Sandra were right? What if Walter didn't need to be saved? What if I end up spending most of my youth trying to save a man who's not even meant for me?'.

I was getting extremely overwhelmed, my emotions were heightened, so while he was focused on his friends, I excused myself to the bathroom, after that Dr. Phil moment with him, I needed to breathe but besides that, I really needed to use the loo.

Even the bathroom looked fancy, not only was there no queue outside, but it looked like a place you could eat from, that's how spotless it was.

I staggered to the 3rd cubicle, and finally, I was free, I could breathe. I exhaled heavily just replaying Ntando's words which also got me thinking about Sandra, and suddenly, those self-love and self-worth memes began to fill my head, and shortly, the guilt followed. I know I said I would not let him go, but that didn't mean every part of me was in on it, however, I owed myself that, to at least fight for us. I closed my eyes asking God for a sign, I needed to know if He supported my decision and that's when I overheard two women talking about Walter. I felt my heart pick up a beat, just the sign I needed and it felt so surreal, it was probably a coincidence, but I was too desperate for validation from the higher power. I didn't even consider that it may have been a sign for me to let go. I held my breath, just paying close attention to the noises outside:

"So, my fixer just told me that the famous playboy, Walter, will be here in an hour, I can't wait to accidentally fall on his lap. I heard he's very generous to his playmates...and I need some of that..", one of the women said while the other just giggled. It sounded as if they were doing their makeup, without any care in the world, just talking about my man, his pockets, and his dick.

Sign or not, I didn't like what I was hearing, it took everything in me not to jump her. I waited until they were done, my legs were even beginning to cramp. As soon as I heard them leave, I slowly made my way out of the cubicle and that's when I was met with two frantically worried faces, "Dude! Ntando is worried sick, he sent us to see if you were still in here, are you okay?".

I just smiled and nodded, but inside me, something was brewing, I was excited and happy to see him again, but at the same time, I was angry, the reputation he built for himself infuriated me, and I was even ashamed to be chasing someone who's made such a name for himself, I mean what did that say about me? I couldn't wait to give him a piece of my mind when I saw him, the list of things to yell about just kept growing. 

The two ladies led me back to our table, and they were right, Ntando was worried sick about me, and he was about to leave, apparently, he gave himself a 1:00 am curfew because he was working later that morning. He didn't want to leave me behind, but I couldn't leave just yet, that was my final shot at seeing Walter, and I was not about to miss it, I needed to be at that club when he showed up. Convincing Ntando to leave without me was a job and a half, and when he finally agreed, he gave me a list of rules and conditions, one of them was that I must always make sure my drink is protected because some rich people lack class, I didn't know what he meant though. I also don't know how many times he told his friends to look after me, seeing his reluctance, I ended up promising him that I would stay for just an hour and I would call him when I got home. It was only then that he left, and made me share my location with him as well.

I am going to say this again, Ntando's friends were angels, especially Kats and Tessa, I never felt alone, not even for a second, in fact, it became a full-blown club party, we were dancing like our lives depended on it and at some point we took over the whole dance floor, and everyone was watching and cheering at us, it felt like we were the main act. At that point I even forgot the reason I stayed behind, hell, I even forgot Ntando's rule about protecting my drink because dumb me, took my wine glass to the dance floor only to leave it at some random table where the people were so nice to bring it back to our table when went to cool off and I stupidly gulped down whatever was left on my glass. Because of that stupid mistake, I soon learnt the meaning of Ntando's warning: I woke up in a hotel room with bruises on my arm and a split lip.