It must be real

"Though born to die, this was not yet my day," Don whispered to himself. Wiping his face, he vocalized, "Son of man, you insulting and scaring a ghost, you have moved to the next… next… next level. Yes, the level of fighting spirits physically." Banging his chest, "Your days of living have proved prolonged. You may even get a chance to box a ghost to death. See, the ghosts are even being scared by merely looking at your protrusive chest appearance!"

Shortly, he breathed in deeply and felt like he was asphyxiating. He heard a spirit speak to him, "Sigh! Don, you are a perfect idiot! See now, after articulating all this no sense, the ghost you met invited all their friends, and now the ghost family is invisibly surrounding you and depriving you of oxygen!"

He found himself in a stew about the matter and his condition was worsening. He became so scared that he lost control and started trembling like an aquaphobic child who is always stimulated whenever he or she perceives cold water.

The hairs on his skin rose and stood upright. When he touched his cheek, the hair was stiff, spiky, thorn-like, and piercing like the leaf surfaces of an acacia tree. But he still looked confident.

"I can still win this fight!" He shouted like an army commander controlling a parade. "If seriously you the ghosts are around, you will die like mortals!"

He seized control of himself and took the courage to fight. He pushed his hands around himself to the surrounding air but he grasped nothing. How could he take hold of a spirit? And then he jumped into the atmosphere, somersaulted five times, savagely punching the air.

In the end, he felt he was very fine. Could it be that the ghosts had left? No, he had just turned delusional. His mind was that the ghosts were around and attacking him. So, after his vigorous moves, he disconnected the thinking and became relieved.

As Don somersaulted, the pedestrians kept watching him over a distance, but they couldn't hear what he was speaking to himself.

"Wow! Look at those prudish defensive skills over there, he can make a good bodyguard. Don't you think so?" A man dressed in a white pinstriped suit drawing in with a friend to the scene, commented as he mimicked Don's interesting moves. His name was Eddy Mukili, but most known as Eddy.

The other man was Den Ben, a renowned village gossiper, the one who talked and laughed more with ladies than men though they could disappoint him most times. In his village, he used 'Den' only, but when he traversed other places he never associated himself with that same name. He used Ben only. He wore a black slack suit, transparent spectacles, and a green cap, an augur of being peaceful. Could he be peaceful as signaled by his cap color?

"Stop! My friend, should I tell you something?" Ben spoke in a low tone. "I like the skills but, be careful with such a person," he added.

"Hmm... why?"

"When such a person becomes your bodyguard, he becomes a threat to your family as well," Ben said, removing the green cap from his head and slowly lowering it to the ground. "More especially when you and your wife often encounter terrible security threats, and yet, the latter is fascinatingly beautiful. I know you are now dying to hear 'how?'. Ask anyway, I shall tell you!"

"Your thoughts seem realistic. How possible is it? Tell me!" Responded Eddy, grinning and staring at the black wrinkled hair on Ben's head which appeared unshaven for almost fifteen years, and which had a possibility of harboring headlice. He had a conviction thereafter that the cap was a home of headlice with its green color to mask the presence of these stubborn insects. He later on assumed a poker countenance.

"So, listen!" Ben replied in a rough voice. He immediately turned his head sideways and throated. Looking Eddy directly in the eyes, the dramatic change in his facial expression could have threatened Eddy. Even so, he narrated his heart.

"Last year my neighbor's family was attacked under the cover of darkness. The man of the house was clutched and flogged severely before his wife after which he was released and left nursing wounds. His wife was abducted and when the bodyguard rescued her from the snatchers, she refused to return to her husband claiming that he had money but the bodyguard had life. She would better live rather than die while swamping in lots of money like the small marginalized fish in the vast water of the Indian Ocean. Indeed, her beauty was so fascinating that even the bodyguard disappeared with her to avoid people's questions."

"You mean it was such bad!" Eddy wondered, nodding. When he tried to raise his hands, he unconsciously felt the hair on his head. He was looking at Ben's head again, and couldn't realize how his hand reached and touched his head. A question ran into his mouth quickly.

"What then did he do to bring her back?"

"He just swallowed. My friend, he swallowed! What could he have done to the bodyguard? He feared being a victim of social proof of his own bodyguard's prissy military skills. Hmm... it is the same dog you rear that bites you, and it has been proven right here. He swallowed, and all his friends decided to do away with bodyguards on hearing his fate."

"And you, would you just swallow or you would do something?"

"Hmm... You and your question are so logical. Well, I would hold on first and vet the situation at hand. Thereafter, I would lay down strategies and evaluate my actions for the likely consequences, desired or not. You know, military people are the riskiest group to deal with. They act ferocious to almost everything that irritates them. What of you?"

"Me! I-I cannot afford to have a bodyguard. What is the use of the bodyguard when I can do this?" He made a fist and showed it to the friend. "I go natural my friend. You see, I am still strong and kicking." He raised his leg and struck out the surrounding air.

When the larger crowd drew closer to them, Ben picked up his cap and started examining it like he was vetting for an insect that had been stinging him from time to time. Eddy plucked a small piece of grass from near his legs and began biting it continuously but less rapidly like a satisfied goat that didn't want to leave any grass virgin.

As the crowd whisked by, Eddy asked, "Have you seen anything in the cap?"

"No," replied Ben sharply. Being overwhelmed with fear, he blinked as it were, and some people picked up that they were trying to disguise something.

When a lady from the crowd greeted them, they grumbled a rude response like they held an earlier grudge with her. The response was so disgusting that the whole group was rammed into murmuring as they proceeded.

From a distance, a woman asked in a high-pitched voice, "Do you see that man in black?"

All the people turned and looked at him. Worst enough, his eyes also chanced on the weary faces of the people and then he just looked aside.

"He must be the best gossiper among all male and female gossipers in this area." She added while lowering her voice.

A peal of deep voices struck and filled the road immediately. Men were so excited to hear for the first time about a man being the best at gossiping. How would his wife feel if she were to be among the group?

"And if he starts his business early morning, he does it for the whole day. Especially when he is drunk. The man appeared drunk but not to such a great extent that all people could recognize him. You will prove me right when we backtrack late." Another woman backed her up.

The soft high-pitched voices of ladies dominated immediately. They were asking themselves why a man like him could be such an undisputed blabbermouth. Some men disagreed on the matter, saying ladies could have been slandering him. Others blamed the too much alcohol that he always took.

With interrogations tending towards its culmination, a lady who had for so long been beaming with happiness, but without speaking asked, "What is his name?"

A man close to her joked immediately and loudly enough for everyone to hear.

"Why do you want to know his name? I'm very sure after knowing his name, you will also be eager to know the name of the person who told you his name. What for?" He then paused and said in a low tone, "I understand why you have been smiling for so long. You must be… be… be worse than him."

A thunderous laughter succeeded. It was followed by another terrible conversation that triggered many questions, and the final one 'Between men and women who are the best gossipers?' was left pending before they finally reached the scene and changed their topic of discussion.

The other two men had been wondering for so long what was being discussed. People laughed so loudly and clearly though their talk could not be comprehended as it was accompanied by noise. They just ignored the thunderous laughter and the noise that people made and then retrieved their conversation.