8th Kiss

"Joseph, you can sleep here. Oh my, Joshua spilled water on the sofa earlier," I heard Mama say. I was inside the room... our room. It's still the same as before. I didn't realize it was still in this state. The walls were painted pink. Our pictures together were still displayed. I approached the large picture that covered the entire wall. Mama had put that up. She said it was so neither Joseph nor I would forget the happy moments we had. The irony of it all. Instead of remembering those joyful memories, we end up forgetting them. No, scratch that. I forgot them.

"Ma, I know what you're doing," I heard Joseph say to Mama.

"Joseph, you know what? Go to sleep. Why don't you want to be together? If it's over, it's over! Even if Arianne undressed in front of you, nothing would happen. I thought you were the one with an IQ of 200 between us?" Mama's response echoed in my ears.

I let out a sigh. Seeing our room again brought a flood of questions to my mind. Why didn't they change anything? I thought Mama was the type to always want to improve the house. She was the one who loved new things. I absentmindedly touched our photograph on the nightstand.

Joseph entered the room. Before I could return the photo to its place, he caught me.

"Why did you pick that up?" I couldn't help but notice the anger in his voice. Why was he angry again? Earlier, he seemed to care for me, and now? I don't know. Was he angry because Mama was trying to make us sleep together?

"Just because," I replied.

"We're going to sleep side by side," he announced.

"Uhm, I can just sleep on the floor, or I can call Chito to come pick me up," I told him. I saw his gaze sharpen on me. It made me self-conscious. I couldn't meet his stare.

"Really? Why didn't you think of that earlier?" he retorted sarcastically.

"I'm sorry, I forgot," I admitted. I wanted to bang my head against the wall. I should've thought of that earlier, but then I got distracted. It seemed like my brain didn't function properly when Joseph was around.

"Are you lying to me, Arianne?" he asked. His eyes glinted as he took steps closer to me. His words hurt me. Did he really think that of me? I've never lied to him. What made him think I would do something like that for such a shallow reason? Just for his attention?

"What?"

"Or do you just want to prove to me that you have Chito now?!" he accused. He got closer and closer, his anger palpable. My ears rang with his words. I took a step back, but I was trapped.

"Joseph, that wasn't my intention, okay? Mama was just asking me," I explained.

"No, the way I see it, you're rubbing it in my face! You're showing me how happy you are!" he said. My lips slightly parted at his words.

"I-I'm not. I never... I never intended that, Joseph. You know me. When have I ever done that to you?" I said, my voice quivering. It hurt. Why was he so quick to accuse me of things now? As if I were a terrible person. As if we hadn't spent years together. His features softened after my

words, but his eyes remained cold.

"Really, Arianne?" he said. "Because right now, I don't know you anymore. Nope, turns out I never really knew you at all."

I felt weak at his words. It was like a million knives stabbed my heart. I knew tears were welling up in my eyes. I could feel them. I sat down on the bed. Joseph turned away from me. That's how it was with the two of us. No one spoke. We were both feeling each other out.

"Are we really getting a divorce?" I broke the silence. "Zia and Kasey told me that they had met Mama, and she told them that-" I didn't even finish my question before he answered.

"Yes," I heard his response, and my tears fell. I didn't want him to see me crying, so I quickly lay down on the bed.

"Uh, I was just confirming," I said. The room was quiet again. After a moment, it became unbearable. So, I asked, "Are you angry at me?"

It took a while before he answered. I felt him walk over to our bed. The mattress sank as he lay down beside me. My body tensed, and my heart raced. His scent surrounded me. For two years, I had been lost, but right now, it feels like... home.

"Yes."

I didn't realize my heart could rebuild itself in just a few seconds, only to be shattered again.

"I'm really, really angry at you, Arianne."

"If I were to apologize, would you accept it?" I asked.

"No," he replied.

Bitterness filled my nod, even though he couldn't see me. I quickly wiped away the tears that had strayed onto my cheeks. Why was I crying?

"Were you happy?" he asked.

"H-happy? When? Where?"

"When we got married," he said.

"Yes. Who wouldn't be?" I answered. "What happened between us was what most people dream of. Not everyone gets a chance to marry their longtime crush."

"Crush..." he said the word with bitterness. "Did your feelings for me disappear? Is that why you... left?"

"Joseph, come on," I pleaded. The way he asked the question shattered my heart. When I left this house two years ago, we didn't talk anymore. He didn't ask me why I wanted a divorce. He just agreed instantly, and it hurt so much that I had to leave. But hearing him ask now somehow

invalidated my reason for leaving him two years ago. I didn't know, but a lot had changed since I returned.

"Forget it. Just don't answer," he said. Silence engulfed us once again. I didn't know if he had fallen asleep or what. His body relaxed, so I assumed he had drifted off. I understood. He was probably exhausted from his shift at the hospital. I wanted to do something to ease his fatigue, but then I reminded myself that I no longer had the right. He himself had said that we were divorced.

I wasn't sure what time I fell asleep. I just found myself holding onto Joseph before drifting off with a contented smile on my lips.