Chapter 58: To be loved

Silence.

Evangeline kept holding my hand, her slender fingers tracing faint, almost imperceptible movements on my skin. Her voice trembled slightly, as if she were gathering the courage to speak.

"Fumi… I…"

Her green eyes, usually so full of energy and life, now seemed deeper, more vulnerable.

A knot tightened in my chest.

I didn't know why, but something about this moment unsettled me.

As if I were about to hear something I wasn't ready to face.

Evangeline then moved her gaze for an instant and closed her eyes to take a deep breath before speaking.

She then looked at me again, her expression was really soft.

"There's a girl." She said.

Her voice was calm, yet it hung in the air like rain on leaves.

"She was born from a love that was never meant to exist." Evangeline said, with a glimpse of sadness in her voice

I tensed involuntarily.

I didn't know why, but this story… didn't feel entirely unfamiliar.

"Her father belonged to an important family, but he was forced to marry another woman. Her mother rejected her and left her in his care."

Evangeline paused, lowering her gaze slightly, as if simply telling this story was harder than she wanted to admit.

"Oh wait… maybe I didn't say it right…" Evangeline said with a small giggle.

"Her father was truly in love with a beautiful Japanese woman, famous for her big talent in sports… their love generated a daughter, that the mother didn't to want to see after her breakup." She said.

I felt her hand tightening by a little on mine.

I kept listening carefully, while my heart was "breaking" in pieces.

I could feel some sort of pain in her voice.

"Love hurts… and the mother gave her daughter to the man who left… since she wanted to pursue her dream… and knowing that the baby could have a perfect life with her dad… moreover, that innocent soul was a constant reminder of her loss…" Evangeline said, while looking at the sky this time, like she was dreaming.

I didn't speak. I didn't know what to say.

Her grip on my hand tightened slightly, but not in an oppressive way.

It was… warm.

"When she was little, this girl felt very lonely due to her mother in mother in law and father… but there was someone who helped her smile."

I swallowed.

"A japanese boy… whom she used to play a console game together. He would tell her all sorts of things, make her laugh, distract her when sadness consumed her."

Something stirred inside me.

A fleeting image. A screen. Two tiny, colorful avatars. Stifled laughter in the middle of the night.

But it vanished as quickly as it had appeared.

Just a trick of the mind. Nothing more.

"The girl kept spending most of her time with him, savoring a sense of happiness she had never felt…" Evangeline kept looking at the sky, speaking with dreamy and almost nostalgic tone of voice.

"Day after day, they smiled together… until he suddenly disappeared one day." She added, moving her gaze towards me.

I could tell that her eyes spoke more than 1000 words.

The air suddenly felt heavier.

Disappeared.

Why did that word bother me?

I ran a hand through my hair, trying to shake off the strange unease settling in my chest.

Evangeline was looking at me, but she didn't seem to expect an answer.

Yet, I felt like I should have one.

"Day after day, the little girl kept living with the pain of thinking that she had done something bad to make her only true friend disappear… day after day… and then years after years." Evangeline said, with a very sad voice.

Despite that, she kept smiling.

"Then, the little girl who was a teenager at the moment, found out that the woman who raised her wasn't her true mother… and her heart broken in pieces." Evangeline said.

I kept listening in silence.

Her heart—no.

Her soul was speaking in that moment.

"She hated her father and mother in law for every single lie… she hated them… and she kept wondering a simple question."

Evangeline's grip on my hand tightened by a little.

"What should this girl do… to be loved by someone? What should she do to make no one dear disappear?" She asked, with a "broken" smile on her face.

Her expression was the one of a person who has been through hell.

Her words hit me like a gust of cold wind.

I kept looking at her.

She was still smiling.

But it was a strange smile.

A smile that didn't belong to her.

It was too fragile.

Too real.

And for some reason, an inexplicable guilt began to stir within me.

I hadn't done anything wrong.

I hadn't done anything.

I've never met Evangeline before.

And yet…

I felt as if I had abandoned someone.

As if I were forgetting something important.

Or maybe, my empathy was making me feel like I was the one who abandoned her.

I opened my mouth, but no words came out.

I felt… strange.

It was as if my body was trying to send me a message my mind couldn't understand.

So the only thing I managed to say was:

"If she wants to be loved… she just has to find someone who appreciates her for who she is."

These were the words that came out from my mouth.

But in that moment, all I wanted to do was nothing more than hug her and say "I'm sorry." But I couldn't.

I wasn't the protagonist in that story.

Evangeline looked at me for a few seconds.

Then, she smiled again, like she already knew what I would've said.

But this time… it seemed sadder.

She slowly lowered her gaze, letting go of my hand.

"I see." She said with a smile.

And at that moment, for the first time, I felt a sharp pain in my chest.

But I ignored it.

Like everything else.

The wind blew gently through the trees, rustling the leaves above us.

The park was wrapped in an almost surreal silence, broken only by the distant sound of passing cars and the whisper of branches swaying in the night breeze.

Evangeline lifted her gaze to the sky.

Her fingers slowly slipped away from mine, the last traces of our touch fading, while her face softened into a serene expression.

"The stars are truly beautiful tonight, mon chéri." She said, with a dreamy voice.

I stiffened.

That nickname.

The sound of that word hit me like a distant echo—something I shouldn't remember, and yet…

A blurred image flashed through my mind.

Another night. Another park. A child's laughter. A familiar, sweet sound, repeated over and over…

Mon chéri.

I raised a hand to my head, confused.

It was the second time that night that something inside me seemed on the verge of resurfacing, yet remained elusive, slipping just out of reach.

Evangeline lowered her gaze from the stars and turned back to me, her smile now barely visible.

"You know, this place reminds me a lot of another park I used to play in as a child." Evangeline said, while taking a look around.

I looked at her.

I didn't know why, but my chest tightened slightly.

It was a strange feeling.

As if I were trying to grasp something that kept slipping through my fingers.

Evangeline folded her hands on her lap, her gaze lost in the night sky.

"There's one more thing I haven't told you when the little girl grew up."

My breath slowed.

She remained silent for a few seconds, as if searching for the right words, then spoke again, her voice calm:

"That little girl… the one who played with her friend, who found comfort in his words… she grew up."

I said nothing. I already knew where this was going.

"And she became a young woman… who is now afraid of creating relationship with people since they all leave." Evangeline added.

My throat went dry.

"Afraid of something she can't fully define. Afraid of meeting someone who should be close to her… but at the same time feels so far away."

Her eyes lowered slightly, the green of her irises turning darker under the glow of the streetlights.

"She's afraid… and yet, she longs for it."

The knot in my chest tightened.

Evangeline smiled, but it was a fragile smile.

"That girl… she's both afraid and desperate to meet her real mother…"

A chill ran down my spine.

And I didn't know why.

"…No. She's really scared to be loved despite that's the only thing she wants in her life." Evangeline said, while looking into my eyes.

"C'est la vie, hein ?" she added , with an almost playful tone.

Then, another soft smile escaped from her lips.

She was waiting for me to speak.

But I didn't.

I stared at her for some instants, while a big pain was still hunting my chest.

The only thing I could do in that situation was… it was a…