Chapter 4: when it rains

Miracle's Pov

My entire body shook and I wiped off the stupid tears that kept dripping down my cheeks and I looked at my grandmother

"I am miserable" I told her. "I'm miserable and I'm stuck and I love him...but I hate him too. I hate him so damn much, I wanna hurt him but I can't because..."

"You love him" she said.

I nodded.

"I do. I love him too much and now, I'm stuck. Do you know how difficult it is to love someone you hate?" I laughed like a Lunatic " I'm stuck loving someone who shattered me and didn't flinch!"

Gran touched my cheek and she leaned in to take a good look at me.

She was beyond beautiful, she looked twenty-five. It was time like this I realized how young she really was when she died…murdered actually.

With her beautiful brown eyes and those long nose I have seen in my baby sister, to that beautiful black hair we seem to share, she was beautiful beyond any doubt and she was looking at me like she would do just about anything for me…love, am I right?

She never met me when she was alive. I recognized her from photos and videos of my dad as a child. Dad was eight when she died…she never met me while she lived and yet she loved me anyway.

If she would do anything for me, why couldn't Steve?

She cupped my cheek.

"Listen to me, Miracle" she made me look at her. "Listen to me, something ain't right about this love. It's…too one sided, it's too emotionally abusive…it's too wrong to be right" she told me.

I felt my insides squeeze. No one told me heartbreak was worse than a Scorpion bite. No one told me of the hopelessness in the pit of my stomach…the promise of emptiness to come…the exhaustion that lies in its wake.

I wasn't told but I felt all of it.

My lips tremble just a little bit.

"Stand up...stand tall" she stroked my hair. "You are a freaking hybrid princess....there is literally little you can't do, my love"

"I gave up a lot for us" I clasped my shaking hand together to stop it from shaking "i didn't just burn bridges, I evaporated them, Gran. I…I s-said things I can't take b-back. My Dad…" I exhaled "I choose him over my family, Gran…I chose Steve over my birthright, I gave everything away. Oh God, I can n-never go home. There is no way Dad loves me anymore…"

"Nonsense!"

"No…not Nonsense…you didn't see the look on his face the day I walked out, you didn't see…" I blink back tears "He was my father and I…I b-broke his heart. I did that and I didn't care"

I covered my face with my palm and I tried to keep it in, but it didn't work.

"I am scum…I am the worst! And I can't go home"

"Yes, you can" Gran insisted.

"No, I can't. I don't know whether you know this but I'm not the type of girl people love unconditionally. Loving me when I was the good daughter is one thing but loving me when I have brought nothing but despair and shame to him, that's a whole new ball game. I can never go home...never"

Gran hugged me and she held me. I have never wanted to stay in a place more than I wanted to stay here right this moment.

She stroked my hair and she waited for me to calm down. I didn't think it was possible to but I did.

She kissed my hair before she spoke.

"Your father loves you more than anything in the world and I'm so sorry about what happened to you when you were a child but Waylen is a good Dad and his love is without condition. He loves you" then Gran's countenance changed "So pull your goddamn head out of your ass, Missy because this is rock bottom, Miracle…it literally can't get any lower than this. You are lying half dead on the dirty floor of a bus stop! Wake up and remember whose daughter you are. Remember who you are…you are Miracle Eloise Cole. You are royalty!"

"I can't…"

"That wasn't a request, young lady…it is not up for discussion!"

The voice came from behind us. We turned around sharply.

Gran was the first to gasp and cover her mouth with her palm at the sight of our guest.

"Cypher" she whispered

"Grandpa?"

Wait! I blinked to gather my wandering thoughts and I was going to say something but Grandpa did first.

"Hey, Pinky. Miss me, baby?" He asked Gran.

I was confused….very confused but I still watched as she flew into his arms and I watched as he kissed her…there was no mistake. It was a passionate kiss.

It was a kiss that said what words couldn't say. It was a kiss born out of love.

If I wasn't busy trying to figure out why his presence here bugged me, I would be grossed out by the fact that my grandparents were making out in front of me.

"Took you long enough" she whispered as soon as they pulled apart.

He wiped the tears that dropped down her face, he wiped them and yet he did nothing of his own.

He wiped her face yet he stared at her like he could cry a river for her and it still wouldn't be enough to express his feelings.

"How's our baby?" She asked him and moved closer to him.

"He grew up, he grew up well…and everyday he reminds me of his mama…of the love of my life and it made losing you hurt a little less"

She shook her head vigorously and she cried harder but she smiled in-between too. Tears of joy, I presumed.

"He is a good boy, isn't he?" Grandma asked.

I watched grandpa nod. He kissed her hair and he watched her face even more. She was a mess yet he looked at her like she was some magical creature he couldn't part with.

It dawned on me, Stevie has never looked at me that way….not in a very long time, maybe not ever.

"Will he be alright without you? It's been so damn long, Cypher…(she cried harder) but I can wait. If our baby needs you, I can wait just a little bit longer"

He didn't speak immediately, he simply watched her and he pushed strands of hair away from her face and behind her ear.

"He is alright. Waylen will be just fine. Oh Pinky, he is so much like you…so stubborn, so perfect. He won't be alone and I am where I need to be, darling"

I blinked.

What?

I took a step closer to him and he pulled away to look at me.

I held his gaze and I was quiet. I was quiet because as long as I am, whatever this was can't be true.

If I stay still enough, it wouldn't be true.

But it didn't matter how long I held his gaze…it didn't matter that I felt strength leave me instantly.

It didn't matter that my already broken heart broke even more...it just didn't matter.

I felt a stabbing pain in my chest, the realization dawned on me very quickly.

"No…grandpa, no! P-please, no!"