Chapter 12: A good question

Stevie s POV

I took the photo from him and crumpled it before throwing it out the window. "No one important" I murmured and got out.

"I'm supposed to make sure you sign up for desk duty. Your grandfather insists on it…nothing dangerous, maybe intelligence unit…alright wait here, I will be right back. Just stay put and don't do anything, Hardy"

"You do know I am your boss right? I am your father's boss, your entire family's boss…hell, I reckon I am everyone's boss in Oswald except for the old man. I give the orders, Stan"

"Of course, Sir" I tried to keep the annoyance out of my face

I held his gaze until he leaned back into his car seat and smiled again.

I slammed the door shut and left to buy things.

I swear it was the first time I was buying underwear for a man!

I tried to think of something fun…something distracting to stop me from dragging him by his black hair and force feed him dirt.

I thought of Lisa.

When I got back he was standing outside the car with a backpack, a duffel bag and a pair of sunshade, he was holding the picture I discarded.

When he saw me, he placed it in his pocket.

Well, he can have it! I just needed to get him as far away from me as humanly possible.

"I think I got everything you will need right here"

"Oh shoot! I totally forgot I packed a bag"

I had to stop myself from clenching my fist.

"But thanks…I should go" he started walking away.

I followed him.

"I need to sign you up"

"Oh, I already did, Stan" he answered and kept walking.

I tried to keep up. He was taller and had a longer stride. Keeping up was proving difficult.

"The intelligence unit right?" I asked him.

this sense of dread washed over me, filling me up instantly.

"Oh no, definitely not the intelligence unit. I signed up for something called KSI" he said, feigning innocence.

My heart stopped momentarily.

"You signed up for Killer squad international?" I asked and stopped in my tracks.

He scratched his brow. "Is that what that is? Huh? That sounds dangerous" he leaned in to look at me. "How are you going to explain that to Grandpa? I really hope I don't die…because that would suck for you, dude. Majorly! Okay, nice talk…bus is leaving"

He took off towards the bus and for a moment the ground beneath my feet was shaky.

Fuck!

***

Miracle's Pov

My brother saw me off up to the checkpoint of the recruitment center. It was a huge field with three tents and a dozen buses.

Xav got down and he held the door open for me to do the same, strangely I felt myself complacent to my twins directive.

He took out my backpack from the backseat and he held on to it momentarily.

"Don't I need the bag to play soldier, Xavier?" I said and tried to make light of the situation by smiling.

But there was nothing light about this situation. I was scared shitless.

The type of mind numbing fear that makes my heart skip a beat every three seconds. The type that makes me want to pee and puke at the same time.

That's the kind of fear I was trying to hide.

"This is a bad idea, Miracle…it's a really bad idea. You can't stand straight without rocking like a crying baby…without soothing yourself"

I stopped rocking. I didn't know I was doing it until he pointed it out.

He came closer and rubbed my shoulder in a soothing way. He was scared shitless too. I could sense it and if I could sense his fear then he has a front row seat to my terror right now.

We are twins, afterall and for as long as I can remember, Xavier and I have shared each other's feelings, good or bad.

If he is sad, I'm sad…if he is pissed, I am pissed too. If he is happy…I'm over the moon.

In all frankness, I think he might be the only boy with a real understanding of what a period cramp is since we both screamed in panic when I first got my period at thirteen and we weren't even together.

He was at a swimming competition and I was not.

Obviously, Dad taught us and we both learnt how to differentiate our experiences from our twin connection and how to tune out most of it but not totally.

We still feel each other…more than normal siblings do.

It's why I know he was having a hard time letting me go.

"Don't hate me…please, don't hate me. I swear to God, I'm doing this for you. Don't hate me, Mimi" he whispered to me. His green eyes dimmed just a little bit as he spoke.

Like he was giving me a chance to talk both of us out of this madness.

I hugged him tightly.

"I don't hate you. I can do this, can't I boy?" I asked him.

"Well, you are the strongest person I know, Miracle. I need you to pick yourself up from the ground. You are looking defeated and I don't like it! I hate it! I want my sister back!"

I smiled and blinked back tears.

"I got my ass kicked, boy. The ground is a little shaky right now" I exhaled loudly and wiped my eyes with my palms.

"Then walk it off, damn it! You are a warrior, Miracle"

"No, I am not"

"Yes, you are!"

"No. I'm really not" I exhaled "And I am not you either. Things don't just work out for me. Trauma doesn't just slide right off my back and I excel. My pain doesn't turn to strength and my nightmare doesn't become my source of motivation. I can't walk it off, if I could I would but I am not Xavier Eric Cole, genius…kickass and all around the golden boy!" I looked away before he heard the jealousy in my voice. "I'm not you"

I leaned in and kissed his cheek before taking the backpack from him and started heading towards the checkpoint.

"Hey, little girl!" He called me by the nickname grandpa always used and I turned around. "I love you, you know that right?" He asked me.

It was a good question.