59: A Great War

— Sean —

"As you might expect," I began. "I couldn't do anything simply as Merlin."

"( •_•)" Cass' expression was utterly flat. 'You don't say…'

"You can't do anything simply now, Dad," Alice snarked.

"Absolutely nothing has changed," Barbara agreed.

"Mm," Ophis nodded as seriously as ever. "Sean is same is same is same…"

"[Purpose cannot= 'simple']. [Boring…][Unacceptable]. [Data needs… dramatics]" Simmy said, floating over to hug my back.

It must've made for quite a sight, even for those used to it. Which, in the Dead End, almost everyone was. Still, my massive 'not-quite-ex' wife clutched my smaller form. My head naturally fell between her breasts and her skin shined like crystal as she spread her wings around me. The scene only lasted for a moment, but Simmy effectively got her point across. I would never be 'simple'.

"Point," Penguin smirked, his 'argument' airtight.

"I did expect as much," Klarion nodded matter-of-factly to my first statement and the one Simmy made. "If anyone had a flair for dramatics, it would be you as Merlin, Mr. Barkeep."

"Don't worry, though~! We love you for it, Gothboy~!" Harley chimed.

"It's just the way of things," Savage shrugged. "The soul of my greatest rival must, in fact, always strive to excel in all things!"

"After so many lives, 'simple' would be rather boring, Sean dear," Didi pointed out.

"As I was saying," I rolled my eyes. "Nothing about me as Merlin could be considered simple. So my summoning for the Great Holy Grail War was no exception. I'm rather proud of the bullshit I pulled there."

"You would be," Catwoman giggled.

Hecate perked up, "Magical bullshit?"

"But, of course," I grinned. "Firstly, the use of True Magic to trick reality itself into thinking I was dead. Otherwise, I wouldn't have been able to be summoned by the Grail. And then, second, third, and fourth… the summoning itself."

"Set something straight for me, Mr. Barkeep," Hephaestus requested. "This summoning process. How exactly does it work? You brushed over it before, but it seems like the sole source of competency in the Grail War's mortally idiotic system."

"It sort of was," I agreed. "And that's mostly because it was only co-opted by the Mages who made the Grail Ritual. The summoning system itself was initially conceived by… well, a somewhat odd combination of Gaia, Alaya, and Akasha's records of All Things in the form of the Throne of Heroes."

"And those terms in this context…?" Hephaestus asked leadingly. "I very much doubt you're referring to Great-Grandmother when you speak of Gaia."

I waved my hand so-so, "Kinda…? Also very much not. In this context, Gaia is the will of the planet itself."

"Great," Barbara grumbled. "More arguably sentient planets…"

I continued right on over her grumbles, "And Alaya was the collective unconscious will of Humanity to survive, to avoid extinction."

Savage grinned, "Now, THERE'S a goddess that I can get behind!"

"Less divine, more… primordial," I shrugged. "But close enough. Together, Gaia and Alaya made up a key… force… for that reality: the Counter-Force. Essentially, semi-sentient spirals of energy that responded to planetary-level threats. But, of course, the will of the planet and the will of Humanity aren't the exact same. As Humanity gained independence, Alaya was put somewhat at odds with Gaia. Largely, they sought the same goals, but with different methods.

"Both sides of the Counter-Force coin had agents to act in their names. Gaia had the Elementals — Fairies, True Ancestors (essentially, Vampires-plus…), and some but not all of the Phantasmal Species and Divine Spirits. Meanwhile, Alaya had the Throne of Heroes with all of its Legends and Heroic Spirits, and the Counter Guardians.

"So the ritual to summon planetary defenders always existed as a product of the Counter-Force. The Grail War ritual piggybacked off that existing framework and temporarily bonded those defenders as 'Servants' for much, much less important matters than their true purpose. But even being summoned for a 'petty war' is a welcome break when you're otherwise dead and stuck in the Throne of Heroes.

"Unlike the true ritual, the Grail War system had limitations. It was mostly contained to Alaya's side of things. Divine Spirits were impossible to manage without specific circumstances, and even then, never in full. Likewise, the 'summon-ee' had to be dead as far as Akasha was concerned to be eligible within the Throne of Heroes. That further ruled out many of Gaia's Elementals since they were immortal and usually not considered part of Humanity in the first place."

"Which was why you needed to trick reality," Klarion pointed out perceptively. "You were trapped in Avalon as Merlin, but not dead, yes? Without your True Death Magic, you wouldn't be telling this story at all."

"Doubly true, 'cause reincarnating onward from that reality would've been… rather hard without it. Much for the same reason I needed a loophole to join the Great Holy Grail War. My imprisonment in Avalon was supposed to be eternal. I just never like to play by the rules," I chuckled and confirmed. "But I digress.

"The Grail's summoning ritual worked by contacting the Throne of Heroes and sort of… faking a need. As willful as the Counter-Force was, it wasn't truly intelligent. The Grail requests a Heroic Spirit, and Alaya is more than content to send one from the Throne. If left alone, the summoning will tailor its selection to the Mage performing it. But usually, catalysts were used to 'aim' it, per se. Relics, symbols, and so on, relating to the desired legend.

"Once the Heroic Spirit is chosen and summoned, the Grail imposes itself upon them. They are bound to their summoner through it. Only then do they become 'Master' and 'Servant'. Furthermore, the Master is given three ritualized spells that can be used as commands their Servants can't disobey. And then… well, you're about to hear the rest."

"Fascinating…" Hephaestus muttered, visibly considering the lesson I'd given. "Perhaps even worthy of recreation… The original ritual, at least…"

I shrugged, "If you feel like crafting a local Throne of Heroes, be my guest. Good luck, though."

He began brainstorming aloud, already crafting a blueprint, "Even I would need aid for such a masterwork. Aunt Hestia for a suitable Home of Heroes… Apollo and Athena for their records of legend… Likely. Styx, that's unfortunate… Uncle Hades might be agreeable to providing heroic souls from the Fields of Elysium. Perhaps looking farther afield? Thoth, Seshat, and Osiris? Chitragupta? Oh, and Lady Hecate most importantly of all, of course."

Aphrodite swooned fondly, "Oh, you are simply beautiful when you get like this, my Smith~… None compare, none even come close~…"

"Oh, Magic, yes~!" Hecate was practically vibrating in her seat. "It's been millennia since I even considered a work as grand as this! Even just for academic's sake, I would agree, little Smith!"

"It wouldn't have to be purely academic," Didi pointed out.

"I'm torn," Diana admitted. "On one hand, I can't deny the usefulness of a system to summon living legends for Earth's defense. On the other… I can already see the paperwork…"

Barbara groaned, "Oh, Didi… The paperwork…!"

"So, uh, that sounds great and all… I think…" Harley interjected. "Did that whole explanation just go *whoosh* for anyone else?"

"Essentially," Damian deadpanned. "The Grail Wars Mr. Barkeep is telling us about were magic gladiatorial slavery."

"I gathered as much as well," Ivy nodded. "A flawed, petty, and ultimately mortal system that usurped an actually useful one."

"AWESOME and SICKENING!" Savage spat. "Legends resurrected, just to be relegated to fighting a petty war! Why, I would slaughter my 'Master' straight away!"

"Some did," I hinted. "See, foreshadowing is a narrative device-…"

Didi giggled at my antics, "Oh, dear, just get on with the rest of your story and stop leaving us in suspense."

"Very well," I sighed dramatically. "We begin with my summoning. Except… I didn't have a Master. Not in any way that was normal for the Grail Wars. I summoned myself. To summon a Servant. To then summon the rest of myself, my legend, in full."

"(⇀‸↼‶)" Cass' face scrunched up in confusion. 'Is that some kind of time travel bit I'm too poor and sane to understand?'

Dick laughed, "When Cass is claiming to be sane, you know stuff's gone wonky."

"Almost, but not quite," I clarified. "Another Servant summoned for that Grail War was rather close to my legend, so I hitched a ride with her."

"Ohoho~?" Riddler giggled. "What a riddle! A legend rather close to yours? And you summoned yourself to fight against her~?"

"Yes!" Savage exclaimed. "I smell investment! Stakes! DRAMA!"

"Team deathmatch, remember? I was summoned to her team, not against," I corrected. "Of course, that didn't do much to diminish the… 'drama', but we'll get to that."

"You summoned… yourself…" Grundy rumbled observantly. "That makes you… Master, too…?"

"As a matter of fact, it did," I gave the lumbering (but not at all stupid) reforming zombie a genuinely proud smile. "I summoned myself and then didn't give anyone the chance to think about stopping me from summoning my own Servant."

In the mirror, my summoning played out, ## By silver and steel. By blue and gold and platinum and Red. By a history yet to be fulfilled. By a Death so true it-… uh, does not die…? By… err, present's sight, and a Fae promise left open. By… shit, kingdom come, thy deliverance done…? Fuck it. By Death and one who walks with it.

## Three-… No, four gates close, and an intersection to a… yes, threefold road opens. Fill, and fill, and fill, and fill, and fill. Fill — uh, one more time — and shatter. O' Throne and Counter-Balance, hear this-… ahem, my oath. I am the Watcher beyond Time. Finally, I come to participate. ##

Merlin-me's oddly freeform chant got me a few odd looks. Some confused, some amused, and all rather questioning. I glanced away with the slightest of blushes.

"I was… kind of bad at incantations as Merlin… Most of the time, I winged 'em. And even then, I stuttered and lapsed. They still worked! Just… awkward to watch myself get all tongue-tied and improvise…" I explained.

Klarion looked at me most incredulously of all, "Merlin… was bad at chants…? How does that even…?"

"If I had to guess? Magical ADHD, exacerbated by my Clairvoyance being able to see anything I wanted to see at any time," I said, shrugging.

"That…" Klarion paused. "Might do it, yeah…"

"Magical ADHD~?!" Harley exclaimed excitedly. "What the Hell, that's wicked~!"

Alice nodded, "Dad's just like me, for real, for real."

Hecate, at least, sympathized with Merlin-me, "These mortal words can be so easy to confuse. I think you did alright, Sean."

"Oh, how utterly, ironically droll," Dionysus chortled.

"┐(-.ー;)┌" Cass shrugged. 'Eh, if it works, it works.'

And it did, in fact, work. Despite my incantation being a jumbled mess, Merlin-me's sincerity shined through. Off the cuff and from the heart. And I certainly compensated for any perceived inadequacies with enough magic, power, and skill. Power pulled from beyond the veil of Death by True Magic flooded the summoning ritual, and the Greater Grail just about purred as it sent the chosen heroine my way.

A flash of pure magical light blinded the mirror, sketching Merlin-me in silhouette. When the light faded, smoke remained. Smoke and… a new silhouette within. The figure stalked forward with sleek curves and a long lance in her hands. Quickly, the smoke drifted away and my Lancer was revealed in full.

She was a tall, delicate woman with a slender yet full figure. Her beauty was physically transcendent. Divinely ethereal features that made her look like a moonbeam personified. Her long, long hair floated free from common sense, looking everything like a pair of wings around her. She wore a calm, gentle smile like a mask, only hints of her legendary loneliness leaking through.

"Everyone," I said, smiling both fondly and painfully. "Let me introduce you to Brynhildr — Odin's Valkyrie, the hero Sigurd's 'fated person', and the woman some have insensitively labeled 'the Crazed Lover'. I summoned her, and she finished 'summoning' me. We became each other's Masters and each other's Servants for the Great Holy Grail War."

Dick let out a low whistle, "Oh, daaannnggg~…"

Diana sadly shook her head, "I know that legend. Her fate wasn't kind to anyone."

Aphrodite didn't seem able to stop grinning, "Oh, Brynhildr, my lovely~! I'll forever welcome any iteration of her! She's always been one of my favorites, even if I can't claim her as mine."

"Crazed Lover," Damian simply said. "I think we can all see where this is going."

"Not quite yet," I sighed. "But I won't deny that her legend plays a role in tonight's story."

"Oh, dear," Didi placed a demure hand on her cheek. "I suppose I shouldn't expect anything less when it comes to Sean, Love, and Tragedy."

"Brynhildr was…" I continued, finding the words. "She was a beautiful woman with a beautiful soul. Compassionate and passionate to the point of her downfall. For those who don't know her legend, Brynhildr was born divine as a daughter of Odin. At some point, her father stripped her of divinity and cast her down to the mortal world.

"There, she was imprisoned in a cave of eternal flames and cursed into a sleep like Death. A hero coming to rescue her was but a mere possibility, a scant chance, and Brynhildr resolved herself to hopelessness. But eventually, the hero Sigurd came and spirited her away from her prison. Despite saving the maiden, Sigurd vowed not to love her. Immediately, he failed.

"The couple were married. Brynhildr had lost her place as a Valkyrie, but she retained her knowledge. She passed this knowledge of divine origin on to her husband. And so, Sigurd left her to continue his hero's quest. During his time away, however, tragedy struck Sigurd.

"He lost his memories and wed another. Sigurd's new wife forced Brynhildr to marry another as well. Brynhildr wept but accepted the tragic turn as her fate. So her love and pain were repressed and stowed away to simmer. Eventually, she broke. All her tragedy came rushing out as nigh-divine Madness. She killed her beloved Sigurd with her own blade and then killed herself to follow him. Hers is a legend of love, betrayal, and Mad passion. That… is who I summoned to my side."

Brynhildr's legend was met with silence. Sympathetic silence, mournful and fuming on Brynhildr's behalf. Fate was often cruel, and Brynhildr had done little to deserve hers.

"Sean…" Ivy said ominously. "You better have given that woman all of the love in the world."

I raised an eyebrow, "Even if I wasn't Sigurd, her 'fated person'?"

"Especially then!" Harley exclaimed. "Fuck Sigurd! I mean… I get that none of it was really his fault… but still! Fuck him! Valkyrie-babe deserves better!"

Seeing a round of agreeing nods, I sighed, "It was complicated. Not on my end. I was more than happy to love her. But Brynhildr had nothing if not baggage — plus a bit of conflict during the Grail War itself that we'll get into. She had to work through herself first, and all I could do was let her make the first move."

"The disowned divine princess of yandere murder had baggage?" Barbara deadpanned. "You don't say. Honestly? Completely understandable."

"Yes, Love can leave us oh-so-deliciously scarred~… Yet we still thank it for the pain," Aphrodite swooned. "Isn't it beautiful~?"

Hestia gave a brittle smile, "That's… certainly one way to put it. I think I prefer my love a little bit more wholesome. A little bit more… complete."

"I say! I think I'm noticing a trend in your life as Merlin, my friend!" Savage declared with a knowing grin. "Was this your — how do the youth say it…? — 'Sticking your dick in crazy' era?"

"That era started in my very first life and it hasn't ended yet," I deadpanned.

Didi giggled, "All of Creation itself couldn't stop Sean from — quote — 'sticking his dick in crazy'."

"Ugh, Daaaaaddd~…!" Alice groaned in disgust. "And Mom. Eww."

"HAHA, ENTIRELY fair and MOST valid, Sean! Commendable, EVEN! Why, it makes me want to match you crazy for crazy! For are we not fated rivals, immortals of different stripes brought together by the greatest of luck?! I will have to…" Savage paused for effect, genuinely grinning. "Up my game…"

"Now, that," Dionysus muttered into his drink. "Is a Madness a touch too rich even for me…"

"Madness too Mad for you, Nephew?" Hestia giggled. "Are you losing your touch?"

The God of Wine and Madness snorted right back, "I can hardly be expected to keep up with this place, dearest Aunt."

Two-Face shrugged, "Guess you just gotta be from Gotham to get it."

Barbara grumbled, "I don't think that's as much of a brag as you make it sound…"

I rounded them off with a fond chuckle, "Are we just about done? Doesn't anyone want to hear about the summon I hitched a ride on then?"

"Oh!" Hecate perked up at attention. "Oh, yes! A heroine close enough to your legend for you to magically drag yourself alongside her… Now, who could that be…? Not Morgan le Fay, no?"

"That would've made things even more awkward than they were," I laughed. "No, not Morgan. But she was still someone tragically dear to me. It's probably best if I let the scene do the talking for me."

Drawing everyone's attention back to it, the mirror shifted. But not far. The summoning I tagged along on played out rather near to my summoning of Brynhildr. A painfully American stereotype of a man acted as the Master, and we caught up with him just as his ritual was completed. When the smoke faded once more, a knight in a wicked-looking suit of armor was standing before him.

The knight thrust her sword downward, mounting its tip in the ground and standing proud. Then, the armor began to shift and transform in a way that was most certainly not medieval. More 'Gundam' than 'chivalric knight'. It was magic I recognized, even as Merlin, for I'd helped design it…

The helmet retracted… And Artoria's face was revealed. I heard excited gasps throughout my audience in the bar. Then, the Artoria-lookalike declared herself, and the excitement was mixed with climactic surprise.

## You may call me Mordred, the one and only true successor to the famed King of Knights, Arthur Pendragon! ##

"Yoooooooo~!" Harley exclaimed. "Plot twist~!"

Klarion chuckled, "I suppose if Arthur truly was a woman in this world, why wouldn't Mordred be as well?"

"Prime betrayer or true successor?!" Savage questioned aloud, grinning across his whole face. "Which is it?! I am on the VERY EDGE of my seat!"

"Both. Neither," I shrugged, not really answering the question. "Mordred was oh-so-like her father — just as noble, just as worthy — only led astray. At my urging, Artoria accepted her, but it was never enough. Not when… Le Fay at her worst was pulling the rest of Mordred's strings…"

In the mirror, the aftermath of Mordred's summoning continued to play as her Master — Kairi Sisigou — questioned her gender, ## But, man, who would've thought Mordred was a woman? I mean, the son of King Arthur-! ##

In a violent flash, Mordred turned on her new Master, baring her sword to his throat and snarling, ## Next time you refer to me as a woman, I won't be able to restrain myself. I am a prince. A king. As my father before me! I am as much man as any-! ##

"Yoouuu~ tell 'em~, girlie~!" Harley cheered.

Catwoman chuckled, "For some reason, I don't think Mordred would appreciate that particular encouragement, Harley."

In the mirror, that was when I joined the scene, breaking the tension with a dramatic gasp, ## Mordy~? Little Mordy, is that you~? Oh, my stars! All grown up, just look at you! ##

Mordred suddenly stiffened in sheer disbelief, ## No… No, this can't be possible… YOU cannot be here! ##

## Yet, here I am, ## Merlin-me grinned. ## In the flesh ##

## Uh, someone wanna key me into the loop here? ## Mordred's Master asked.

Brynhildr gently sighed, ## I'm afraid I'm just as clueless as you, fellow Master. ##

## Thought I cleared the area pretty well, but sure, let's just have a whole other Master-Servant pair show up, ## Kairi grumbled.

## Master-Servant and Servant-Master, ## I corrected.

## Huh…? ##

## Don't worry about it too much. I… am Merlin. And this is Brynhildr. It's an honor to meet you, fellow Master, and just an absolute pleasure to see little Mordy again, I must say. ##

## You're… both Heroic Spirits…? Well, that can't be right… ##

"I can't help but feel for this guy," Barbara said, shaking her head.

"Yeah, he seems just about reasonable," Dick agreed.

"Yet he has to put up with Sean in his Merlin phase," Ivy giggled.

"(⚆ᗝ⚆)" Cass mimed a gasp. 'Oh, Didi! The HOOOORRRROOOORRR~!'

"You jest," Damian said, his tone utterly flat. "This poor magical bumpkin is in for the ride of his very life, and you jest."

## Meeeerrr-liinn of Flowers! ## In the mirror, Mordred just about snapped, even mixing my name with my title. She came at me with her sword swinging and fiery fury in her eyes. Merlin-me ducked to the side. My staff matched her sword.

Merlin-me just chuckled as we fought, ## I trained your father in the blade, little Mordy. You're still a thousand years too early to defeat me. You have eyes, yet you fail to see Mount Tai! ##

## Why?! ## Mordred didn't care. Mordred kept coming. Mordred began to vent a Death's worth of emotion on me alone… ## Why do you haunt me so?! ##

~CLANG~

## Why didn't you stop Mother's schemes?! ##

~CLANG!~

## Why couldn't you speak more sense into Father's thick, fucking skull?! ##

~CLANG!!~

## Why, why, why didn't you fight for me more?! ##

She swung and swung and swung until she was panting. Until her swings lost structure and her foundations were collapsing. Until every emotion came rushing out of her. Red-rimmed eyes glared at me through haunted tears. And still, Mordred kept coming, kept venting everything onto me. Her only outlet and all that remained of the tragic life she once lived.

## Why-! Weren't-! You-! THERE?! When we needed you the most?! ## She finally shouted, getting to the crux of her conflict with me.

~CRASH!!!~

That final strike shook the nearby trees and stripped grass from the dirt beneath our feet. I parried it just as easily as the others. Then, I pulled Mordred into a gentle embrace. With my hug, the fight went out. She all but collapsed into me.

## Why…? ## She pleaded. ## You would've fixed everything… As you always did… Talked sense and reason back into both of us… Why, Merlin? Why weren't you there…? ##

I held her as she needed to be held. That child of tragic birth and an even more tragic fate. As always, I welcomed her as her father and mother never could. And only when she cried herself limp did I answer her heart-aching question.

## Because of your bitch of a mother, my child, love her as I do. ##

That shocked a snort of laughter out of Mordred, though she hurried to cover it with a bitter hiss, ## Le Fay…! ##

## At her very worst, yes, ## I confirmed. ## But that doesn't mean I'll shirk my share of the blame. I'm sorry, Mordred, for the fates we couldn't escape. ##

In the bar, there wasn't a dry eye amongst my audience. From Savage — unashamedly bawling like a real man — to Grundy — looking rather confused by the tears he was shedding. Didi leaned her head on my shoulder and wept for a child she didn't know, but who I know she would've adopted in an instant.

"It's okay, Love," I comforted her. "We both found a measure of closure then."

"He's my brother, always, but Destiny can be oh, oh-so-cruel," Didi confided.

"If I meet that girl-prince, I will give her the whole WORLD to cull her pain! She shall know she BELONGS!" Savage declared.

"Seconded," Hestia softly agreed. "Mordred deserves a Home. I can already see the concept is foreign to her…"

"Thirded," Didi stated firmly. "I suppose the Dead End will just have to adopt her from across time, space, and dimensions. In name if not practicality."

I chuckled, "I think she'd like that. As much as I advocated for her, there was always a certain distance between her and Artoria, her and Le Fay. That's just the way her cards were dealt. little Mordy did some terrible things, no doubt, but I can't find it in myself to truly blame her. And I would never — never — call her the 'Knight of Treachery' as her legend was named."

"Yeah, I can see how that title might've rubbed her the wrong way," Barbara nodded.

"More than you could know, the poor girl," I shook my head regretfully. "But regardless, that was my summoning and my reunion with little Mordy. We all joined 'Team Red'. The Reds were sponsored by the Clocktower. Essentially, one of the foremost mainstream magical institutions in the World of Magecraft.

"Our foes were 'Team Black', sponsored by Yggmillennia — or just Ygg as I took to shortening the name. Ygg was a Magus clan aiming to rival the Clocktower. The most pivotal aspect of this opposition was the fact that their leader was the one to steal the Greater Grail and set this whole timeline in motion.

"They were a clan of misfits and outcasts, essentially. Storied, but not noble. Numerous, but with few noteworthy individual magi. The Clocktower deemed them insignificant. Until it was revealed that they held a Greater Grail, that is. Protests went out within the Clocktower, of course, and through a complicated mess of politics, the Great Holy Grail War was declared."

"Sounds about right," Dionysus grunted. "Organized power is always a special kind of Madness. And don't get me started on politics. Even in the modern age, they remain a key phenomenon feeding into my domains of Madness and Debauchery."

"The Clocktower sent seven potential Masters," I continued, smirking. "Thanks to my intrusion, only five actually managed to summon servants. With Brynhildr and I being each other's Masters and Servants simultaneously, I usurped Feend vor Sembren and Brynhildr usurped Jean Rum in the war to follow."

"I doubt the Clocktower appreciated that," Klarion smirked right back at me.

"Not at all. But don't worry," I waved dismissively. "They were utterly unimportant as individuals. In fact, the majority of the Red Masters were. See, the Church's designated Master was pulling strings even before the War truly began. He summoned Assassin of Red — Semiramis, the Wise Queen of Assyria — and used her powers to subvert the Clocktower Masters. Truthfully, Team Red was just him, Kairi, Brynhildr, and me."

"[Data = Disadvantage?]" Simmy inquired.

"Not as much as you might think," I explained. "The Church Master — Shirou Kotomine — acted as a proxy between the entranced Clocktower Masters and their Servants. Of course, he was actually serving himself only and lying to the rest. I discerned Shirou's deception from the start, but we didn't truly need or miss the Masters who could've been.

"I was Caster of Red. Brynhildr was Lancer of Red. Mordred was Saber of Red. Semiramis was Assassin of Red… And the remainders — Archer, Rider, and Berserker — were Atalanta, Achilles, and Spartacus respectively."

The Servants of Team Red appeared in the mirror behind me, split into two groups. Merlin-me, Brynhildr, and Mordred made up one. Semiramis — in all her dark Siren's beauty — stood at the fore of the other. Behind her were Atalanta — blonde with genuine cat ears and tail — Achilles — with his smug, hero's smirk — and Spartacus — scarred and chained even after death.

"(＾་།＾)" Cass happily drooled. 'Eheheh~… Goth mommy Semiramis~!'

"Stacked line-up," Penguin whistled.

"Atalanta? Truly?" Diana asked with palpable interest.

"And Achilles, oh dear," Aphrodite held a hand to her cheek with a wistful sigh.

"Spartacus?! No, I am Spartacus!" Savage declared.

"No, I'm Spartacus~!" Harley giggled

"No, I!" Dick grinned, playing into the bit.

"What?" Savage looked at them oddly. "No, truly, I was Spartacus. At least, here in the history we all know, I was."

"Oh…" Harley paused. "No cap?"

"None at all!"

"Gotta admit, that's one hell of a set-up for one team. Legends, yeah, but we expected that. The whole Church Usurper business, though? That's interesting," Two-Face said.

Damian asked, "And what of the other? Your misfit foes on Team Black? You saw all, Mr. Barkeep, so tell us of the other side."

"Team Black had all of their Masters," I exposited. "But with a twist. Individually, the Black Masters couldn't sufficiently supply their Servants with the energy they required. So, they found a workaround. One that consisted of artificially created Humans — Homunculi — that they strung together like Matrix batteries. It worked, but it was far from a pretty solution."

"… I don't know whether to be appalled by the immorality or slightly impressed by the ingenuity," Hecate admitted.

"Just…" I hesitated. "Keep the Homunculi in mind. They'll come up again later. As far as Servants go, though, Team Black had a half-decent selection as well.

"Chiron, Mentor of Greek Heroes, was Archer of Black," An unassuming warrior appeared in the mirror as Team Black's Servants were revealed.

"Oh my!" Diana gasped.

"Vlad III, the Impaler, was Lancer of Black," A haunting, aristocratic figure with blond hair and an icy gaze appeared.

"Vlad, not Dracula, this time," Riddler noted.

"Astolfo, the Twelfth Paladin of Charlemagne, was Rider of Black," A pink-haired, feminine man grinned a fanged grin from the mirror, striking an adorable pose.

"Oh, he's just precious~!" Aphrodite squealed. "I would eat him right up~!"

"… Smash," Dick stated with only a bare moment of pause.

"Solomon ibn Gabirol, Avicebron, was Caster of Black," Half-jester, half-armored, Avicebron appeared as a walking enigma.

"… Pass," Dick's face scrunched up in confusion.

"Frankenstein's Monster was Berserker of Black," The figure that appeared was unexpected. More 'doll' than 'monster'. Honestly, she was cute, with pink hair that covered her eyes and a golden unicorn horn sticking up from her forehead.

Grundy stared, and stared, and stared some more, seemingly coming to a personal awakening, "… Wife."

Harley giggled, thankfully not teasingly, "Oh, I ship it~!"

"Jack the Ripper, Bittersweet Jackie… was Assassin of Black," The figure who appeared was clearly a child. Yet, her entire being seemed soaked in blood. The innocent expression on her face contrasted jarringly with her wicked knives.

"… Huh," Several people muttered.

"We'll get to Jackie," I said somberly, leaving it at that.

"And finally, Siegfried, the Dragon-Blooded Knight, was Saber of Black," The Dragon of a Man was last to appear. A knight, a hero, a legend that was very easily confused with another…

"Wait… Siegfried?" Barbara was sharp enough to pick up on the implications immediately.

"Siegfried," I simply nodded.

"Against Brynhildr," She noted. "That won't end well."

"We'll get to that as well-…" I paused to correct myself. "Well, now, I suppose. Yes, Brynhildr and Siegfried seem to share an origin. Only seemingly, though."

"What's the big deal?" Two-Face asked. "Siegfried? Sigurd? They sound about the same to me."

"They aren't. They're just achingly similar, two parallel legends that came out of the same part of the world," Hecate said (read: lectured). "It's a fascinating bit of etymology, really. Both names start with 'sigi', a proto-germanic word meaning 'victory'. But their names diverge from there, as do their legends. Curiously, both heroes were said to have killed dragons. But Sigurd's dragon being named Fafnir was a much later development by Scandinavian mythology. Meanwhile, Siegfried was said to have killed Fafnir from his Germanic start."

"It's all a complicated web of similar names and similar stories," I said, shaking my head. "As most legends become. In all likelihood, both legends arose from the same origins, just split across two cultures — Germanic for Siegfried and Norse for Sigurd. But as far as our story is concerned, they're very much unique individuals."

"Of course, at first glance, especially from an… invested… party, the two parallel legends could be easily confused," I hinted ominously.

"Our girl Brynie flipped her shit, didn't she?" Harley asked, hitting the nail on the head.

"Oh, yes. Absolutely," I nodded. "She did, indeed, 'flip her shit'."

The first real skirmish of the Great Holy Grail War played out in the mirror. It just so happened to be between Brynhildr and I… and Siegfried. The mission Brynhildr and I were sent to complete was interrupted by Siegfried's appearance, and fighting naturally broke out. While I stepped back and let Brynhildr fight, she and Siegfried both held their own against each other.

Superhuman legends clashed. Brynhildr's spear sought blood from the start, as did Siegfried's sword. Lancer vs. Saber was a rather even match. But as both sides stepped back for a moment to acknowledge each other, shit truly hit the fan.

## I would have your name, Warrior, ## Siegfried declared. ## I am Siegfried. ##

Brynhildr froze on the spot, ## Sig-…? ##

Instantly, Merlin-me saw the change, ## Oh, dear. ##

Brynhildr lunged right back into the fight without giving her opponent an answer. Immediately, she revealed herself to be faster, stronger, and Madly vicious. Her spear sliced through the air and Siegfried found himself pushed back. She stabbed at his head with eyes that only saw her beloved.

## V-Very well…! ## Siegfried masked his surprise with bravado.

Eyes like hearts — yet with only Mad fury shining out of them — glared and swooned, ## Beloved… Why did you leave me…? How could you make me-?! ##

## I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about! ## Siegfried insisted.

For Brynhildr, who'd witnessed her husband return without his memories, that only made things worse, ## SIGURD!! MY LOVE SHALL WASH YOU CLEAN — HEART, MIND, AND SOUL! ##

In the end, it was all Siegfried could do to dig deep and call upon the legendary blade Balmung to push Brynhildr's pulsing, heart-shaped spear to the side and pin it there. He roared like a dragon right in her face, ## Your name, Warrior?! I am Siegfried! ##

Stuck so close, Brynhildr was confronted by eyes she didn't quite recognize. She blinked. Maddened hearts began to fade, ## You're… You're not Sigurd… ##

## I am not, ## Siegfried said, his tone surprisingly reasonable. ## Truly not. Your name, Warrior? ##

## Bryn... Brynhildr… ##

Siegfried just nodded and smiled, ## Well met! Well fought! And… understandable, I suppose. My condolences, Brynhildr, for your fate. ##

"What the hell?!" Harley threw her hands up in the air. "He's, like, actually likable!"

"Infuriatingly so," I nodded in commiseration. "Genuinely, just a good dude. Shame we didn't get to see much of him in truth."

"Uh oh… I don't like… that… from you, Sean. What'd you do to this perfectly reasonable man?" Barbara visibly prepared herself for the worst.

"Oh, no, that righteously reasonable fool did it to himself," I waved. "For a good cause, even if it was sacrificial in the extreme. See, his Master accidentally killed one of the Ygg Homunculi who escaped with the help of Astolfo and Chiron. So Siegfried saw the poor artificial boy and decided to tear out his own heart and give it to him to revive the boy.

"It was noble. It was awesome. And it might've even been the right choice in the end. But that'll come up again toward the end of the War."

"Ugh, heroes," Dionysus rolled his eyes.

"Heroes, INDEED!" Savage exclaimed, completely ignoring the Mad God's sarcasm and disdain. "Didi be good! He deserves to be celebrated as a legend all over again!"

"I have found new heights of heroism to strive toward," Damian said. "Father will be ecstatic."

"What?! No!" Dick panicked. "Terrible idea! Don't go ripping your heart out for ANY REASON, Damian!"

"Eh, I'm sure he'll be fine," I shrugged. "Plenty of people do it."

"Do they, Dad? Do they really?" Alice wasn't amused.

Didi was, though, "I think your perception is a bit skewed, Sean. As it usually is."

"It worked out for Siegfried. He even discovered his true wish in the end. Just once, he wanted to save someone of his own volition instead of being told to do so… But oh, well," I sighed. "That was one Servant down for Team Black, and the War had barely begun. Immediately, they were having… internal issues."

"Did those internal issues have something to do with the Homunculus Siegfried saved?" Hecate asked cannily. "That whole arrangement sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. Creating Homunculi is fine. Magic doesn't necessarily mind creating wholly new lives. But doing so solely to enslave them as magical batteries…? Disgraceful and just so pointless."

"Oh, I do agree," Didi nodded along. "It's a terrible waste of Conception."

"Yes, that whole workaround came around to bite Ygg immediately," I confirmed. "The freed Homunculus became a key figure in the War. And when he chose his name, he honored the hero who gave his heart. Sieg had at most three years to live. He used his time to the fullest.

"In a way, Sieg became a third party in the War. And he did so under… certain protection. See, I didn't tell the whole story earlier when introducing the Servants. There weren't just 14. Another was summoned to act as a neutral overseer of the proceedings. A whole new class called 'Ruler'. Her name was Jeanne D'Arc, Saint of Orleans."

"Dude~!" Harley squealed. "This shit is girl-boss galore~! Joan of motherfucking Arc~?! Bad-ASS~!"

"As you might expect, she became something of a focal point for both sides of the War," I continued. "Both Shirou and the Black Leader Darnic sought to bring her onto their side, thinking she would turn the tides. That was actually the first mission Brynhildr and I were sent on, where we encountered Siegfried and his Master doing the same. Jeanne held strong in her neutrality, however. She took in Sieg and eventually, tragically… fell in love with him.

"Apart from Jeanne and Sieg, the rest of the War wasn't idle. Team Black initially had the advantage, seeing as Ygg held the Greater Grail. It was only ever going to end in a fight, a raid. For Team Red, Shirou continued ensuring his place as leader. He steadily talked the Clocktower Masters into giving up all of their control.

"Meanwhile, Semiramis fully completed her Noble Phantasm, the Hanging Gardens of Babylon. She-…" I paused. "Oh. I just realized I haven't mentioned Noble Phantasms… Essentially, there were powerful crystalized magicks — pieces of a Heroic Spirit's legend that stuck with them after death, often the most dangerous weapons or defenses at a Servant's disposal.

"For example, Siegfried had his dragon-slaying sword Balmung and nigh-invincibility from his Armor of Fafnir. Brynhildr had the spear of Maddened Love she used to kill Sigurd, Brynhildr Romantia. And as Merlin, I had the Garden of Avalon where I was trapped 'for eternity'."

"So… Kamehameha, Destructo Disk, Galick Gun, and Special Beam Cannon," Riddler summed up.

"Named Attacks and Skills," Penguin nodded his understanding. "It's only natural."

"(● ⋏ ●)╯" Cass held up a strong arm. 'I cast Bone-Breaking, Coma-Inducing, Brain-Damaging, Pile-Driver Elbow!'

"Fuckin' nerds," Two-Face chuffed. "And one terrifying Bat…"

"They've just about got it, though," I said. "And Semiramis' most powerful Noble Phantasm was the EX-rank, Anti-World-type Hanging Gardens of Babylon. A giant floating fortress, called 'vanity itself' by some. It quickly became the main base for Team Red. As soon as it was finished, the tides turned in our favor. And it was used to launch an attack on Ygg's Castle to secure the Greater Grail."

In the mirror, the attack on Ygg's Castle was shown. The Hanging Gardens were even larger than the castle itself, and flying completely free from the ground. The attack played out in many disparate scenes.

Astolfo rode for the Garden's gates on Hippogryph-back. The feminine knight's charge was turned away by a massive beam of magical energy from the Garden's defenses. On the ground, Achilles faced off against his former mentor Chiron, the reluctance in the battle clear. Spartacus was subverted by Avicebron and turned on Team Red. Frankenstein's Monster separated herself from the castle's defenses and was confronted by Shirou as a result.

Mordred showed up late to the party. But when she arrived, she went on a tear. She fought Astolfo… and beat him. She fought Sieg… and beat him. She fought Frankenstein's Monster… and beat her despite her last sacrificial attack. She fought Sieg again, now possessed by and inheriting a portion of Siegfried's power… and beat him again, too. Then, she fucked up Spartacus, cutting him right in half just for good measure.

And within the castle, Atalanta, Brynhildr, and Merlin-me fought Vlad III. Atalanta dashed about like a cat, impossible to pin down. She shot arrows of magical light from an infinite quiver, each one as damaging as a tank's main battle cannon.

Brynhildr and Merlin-me fought side by side. Master and Servant, Lancer and Caster. Brynhildr's spear was vicious. My staff was my sword, and I wielded it well. All the while, beams of pure spell-stuff acted as fire support, weaving around us both to scorch Vlad III.

We fought Vlad to a standstill and held him there. Legendary skill from all parties made decisive victories rare. But we only needed to buy time. Eventually, the call came that Shriou had secured the Greater Grail, and Team Red retreated back to the Hanging Gardens.

"Fights worthy of a holy war!" Savage eagerly declared.

"Mummina-mummina-Magic~…" Hecate swooned and drooled.

Diana shook her head fondly, "I never would've expected Merlin to be so skilled with a sword."

"Waifu…" Grundy sadly moaned, mourning the sacrifice of Frankenstein's Monster.

"Aww, it's okay, buddy~," Harley comforted him. "I'm sure you'll still get a chance to meet her… somehow… Still, Mordred really went off, huh?"

"That girl didn't know the meaning of 'chill', just like her father," I chuckled. "But that wasn't the end of the fighting that night. Vlad, Chiron, and Avicebron followed us into the Garden to take back the Greater Grail. And there, Vlad's Master forced the unthinkable upon him. The Legend of Dracula was Vlad's ultimate Noble Phantasm, but it haunted him. His one wish was to erase Dracula from existence.

"But with their backs against the wall, Vlad's Master Darnic commanded Vlad to use the Legend of Dracula. Master and Servant merged under the Legend, creating something new and nameless. All of us there teamed up to defeat the Nameless Vampire. In the end, it wasn't us who did so, but Shirou, with holy weapons to smite the transformed vampire."

Ivy gave an overly dramatic sigh, "I guess you can count on the Church for at least one thing… They are usually half-decent at killing vampires."

"Heretics and witches, too~! And false positives galore~! Ya know, just in case you're feelin' frisky~…" Harley chimed before pausing. "Or should that be the other way around…? In case you're feelin' ordinary? I'm pretty sure they were wrong WAAYYY more than they were right back in the day."

"Yes, and holy weapons tended to work just as well against normal people caught in those false positives because they're still — you know — weapons," Penguin deadpanned.

Damian nodded seriously, "Dress it up however you like, a sword is still a sword. And that's how it should be."

Catwoman cooed and clutched him to her breast, "Oh, my adorable little murder tom. Never change."

Damian didn't struggle one bit, "I find this title… acceptable."

"（ ▽д▽）" Cass silently squawked in outrage. 'Oi! Don't steal my title!'

"There, there," Catwoman soothed them both. "Damian's my little murder tomcat, and you're my little murder kitten, Cass. Fair?"

"… Fine/( ≖_≖)" Damian and Cass shared side-eyed glances at each other. '… I guess.'

"Now," I chuckled and continued. "During the smiting of the Nameless Vampire, Shirou was revealed to not be who he said he was… In truth, he was a Heroic Spirit himself: the Ruler-class Servant from the former Grail War who survived in hiding until he could get his second chance at a wish from the Grail. He was Shirou Tokisada Amakusa, a legendary rebellion leader from Edo-era Japan. And that… That's just about where shit hit the fan for the Great Holy Grail War."

"I don't get it," Alice shrugged in confusion. "What's the big deal about this guy?"

"It wasn't so much his identity," I explained. "It was the betrayal of it all and the wish he sought. He… well, I'll just let him put it best…"

Shirou's last prayer echoed through the bar in all its ambition, heedless of the cost… ## So, God. Give me another chance. Next time, I won't lose sight of the bigger picture. I will eliminate all obstacles, enemies, and hardships in my way. Next time, I will obtain all the good in the world. A world where everyone is happy, everyone is good, and everyone is perfect. I will exterminate all evil and create a new, pure world. ##

"Oof," Dick winced. "A 'new, pure world'… Yeah, we hate the word 'pure' used in this context."

"So… Shirou's salvation was utter annihilation for mankind, right?" Klarion clarified. "I can't really see any other way to eliminate all evil. How would you even define evil on such a scale?"

"Just so," I nodded. "Or close enough that the difference would be purely academic. Shirou's cause was noble. Theoretically, at least. In practice… well, disastrous barely begins to cover it."

"Yes, it's a pretty thought, at least," Dionysus drawled. "But then, many wish to save the world. Few if any have an effective plan and understanding of how to do so. The Madness of Good, no?"

"That…" Hestia blinked. "Was surprisingly well-put, Nephew."

"Regardless!" Savage exclaimed. "This Shirou couldn't have been supported any further! I know you are wise enough to see that, my rival! How did you respond?"

"I decided to remove myself from the running for the most part. As I said, Shirou's reveal was something of a turning point for the War. The faction lines were redrawn. Achilles, Atalanta, and Avicebron joined Shirou's side. Jeanne, Chiron, Mordred, and Astolfo refused and continued to fight to take the Grail and its wish from Shirou.

"And Brynhildr and I — quite frankly — fucked off to more peaceful pastures. I led us to help the innocents caught up in the Grail War. Mordred and I kept in touch, of course, but I wasn't about to be sucked into that whole Idealism vs. Idealism mess. We did much more good tending to the innocents and such. Grail Wars… were not clean conflicts by any measure."

A montage of my aiding efforts played out in the mirror. Merlin-me didn't shy away from openly using magic. And Brynhildr was by my side the entire way. She didn't fully 'get it' at first — not much thought was ever given to the bystanders in legends — but she quickly came to understand and even agree that something should be done for them.

We rebuilt ruined homes, repaired damaged infrastructure, and generally soothed the wounds caused by the secret war taking place in Trifas. Technically, the fighting was only supposed to take place at night and out of view from the general public. But amidst a heated war, technicality and practice were far from the same.

That went doubly for the giant flying fortress now parked above the city. The Hanging Gardens were kept out of sight during the day. But there was no hiding the giant defensive beams that had been fired at midnight. Merlin-me went around reassuring people that they didn't have *too much* to fear. I made no excuses and didn't try to hypnotize people into forgetting as the Clocktower would. Instead, I mostly just laid out the facts as they were — that the world was always bigger and stranger than anyone realized and that all the chaos that had come to their homes would pass.

Brynhildr visibly began to look at me differently through it all, ## … This is good work. Righteous work. Heroic work, even if not the heroics I am used to. A different kind of good being done, but good all the same… ##

## Never forget the little people, ## Merlin-me replied. ## Many do. But they are just as alive as you and I. Do they not deserve comfort? Peace? I taught the only king I'll ever recognize that. Life isn't just 'named characters'. Anyone who thinks differently isn't someone I would wish to get along with. And if others resist or deny my stance… well, I'll just forge my own path. Always and forever. ##

"Yes, you always do tend to prefer doing your own thing, don't you, Dear~?" Didi gently teased.

"Oh, getting myself out of all of the drama was definitely a plus," I chuckled in agreement. "But genuinely, I felt I was best served helping those harmed by the secret war of literal legends being fought in their streets at night. And it was a good thing I leaned that way, too. Because one Servant was still unaccounted for that far into the War… Assassin of Black, Jack the Ripper…"

The montage behind me continued. But the damage turned from collateral into something very direct. Rare though they were, haunted people roamed the streets of Trifas. People who'd been hunted and survived, either by luck or dismissal. Merlin-me soothed their fears, promising to take care of everything. But for some, we were already too late…

"Oh. Oh, fiddlesticks!" Dick paled at that realization. "Jack the Freaking Ripper was on the loose that whole time?!"

Abruptly, Barbara turned on him and wrapped her hands around his throat, "Why-?! Can't-?! You-?! Just-?! Curse normally?!"

"B-Boy Wonder-! Doesn't curse…!" Dick choked out.

"That boy…" Catwoman shook her head. "He never seems to remember that his own name is a curse."

"Hey!" Dick casually broke Barbara's chokehold in an instant just to protest. "It's a perfectly normal nickname! Historic, even!"

Most of the bar ignored them, Ivy saying, "… Anyway. Jack the Ripper?"

"Bittersweet Jackie," I nodded sadly. "She was… a special situation from the start. Beginning, of course, with her legend. Some of you might have a mental image of Jack the Ripper in your mind. Whatever it is, Jackie wasn't that. She was a child first and foremost. A tragic, tormented little one, lashing out with rage and violence at a world she could never understand. For she was never even given the chance…"

In the mirror, Jackie's visage peeked out from behind the bar. She was tiny, just tiny, with short white hair and a stitched scar on her adorable cheek. It took a second for everyone to notice her. But when they did, there were more than a few reactions.

"She's… huh," Penguin just cocked his head in confusion.

"This is the legendary serial killer?" Klarion asked.

"Truly, a terrifying soul," Dionysus nodded.

"What?! No way!" Harley gasped. "She's just a precious little child~!"

"For some reason, I doubt her appearance is as it seems," Riddler warned.

"Actually, it was," I corrected. "It really was… Unfortunately… Jackie was the ghost of not one child, but many. The collective wraiths of aborted children from a time before abortion was truly a feasible and safe practice. But the prostitutes of Victorian London made do with what they had. To torturous effect…

"Jackie was… childish cries that would never be heard. She was the tears of many mothers in terrible situations, often wishing for the same peace in death they granted their children. She was the uncaring depredations of paying men who gave no thought to the consequences for the women they visited in the night. And because of all that, Jackie was misdirected fury incarnate."

"By all of the gods…" Even Savage paled at that tragic description.

"That's-!" Klarion choked out. "That's certainly one take on Jack the Ripper's legend…!"

"Oh, poor baby," Didi mourned. "I just want to hug all of her and apologize for the lives that could've been. It's not even the abortions themselves. Conception is Conception but Life doesn't truly begin until that first independent breath is taken. And Souls begin to truly form and settle even later. No, it's the violence of it all, the violence of Jackie's whole situation from every angle but hers."

"Is that why she's collective wraiths, not collective Souls?" Hecate asked before realizing how her question could be taken. "N-Not to be crude or crass or disrespectful at all-!"

"I know," Didi reassured her, still mournful. "But you're essentially correct. Wraiths aren't Souls, but animated Emotions without anything to tie them together into a cohesive whole. They actually fall into Despair and Delirium's domains more than mine."

"As fascinating as that is, I think I'm too horrified to truly appreciate the new information," Riddler muttered.

"Curse or legend, Jackie made her mark on history," I continued. "And so, she was eligible to be summoned from the Throne of Heroes. Her summoner was aiming for her, even. But nothing he did seemed to work. So the asshole decided to recreate a scene from Jackie's legend…"

Klarion sighed, "Didi save us all from Mages like that…"

"(¬,¬)" Cass pursed her lips to the side. 'Stupid cunt, huh? I hope he gets what's coming to him.'

"He did," I confirmed. "The summoner tried once more to summon Jackie, only this time he murdered a prostitute as a sacrifice. And as Reika Rikudou lay bleeding out, her wish to live finally succeeded in summoning Jackie. Rightfully, though, something was off. Jackie saw Reika as her Master. The summoner panicked and tried to command Jackie to kill herself.

"She cut off his jaw mid-sentence and took the hand with the Command Spells to transfer them to Reika. But Reika wasn't a proper Magus and thus, couldn't supply Jackie with the energy she needed. Jackie and Reika decided to solve that problem… by having Jackie devour the magical energy she needed from Souls, starting with the summoner."

"… Deserved," Grundy grunted gruffly.

Didi winced, however, "Debatable. As awful as the summoner was, no one deserves to have their Soul devoured. I can't even think to approve of that in good conscience."

"Part of that blame falls on Reika," I shrugged. "Jackie was a child, and a collection of wraiths beyond. Even as a Servant, she didn't really understand common sense or right from wrong. She never got the chance to understand them in life, and her worst traits were only emphasized in legend.

"But what happened, happened. Jackie and Reika continued on from there, murdering for sustenance. They came to Trifas to join the War, but never outright. Jackie fought Mordred but escaped. She joined the Battle of Castle Ygg, just to slaughter the Homunculi and feast upon their magical energy. And as the War shifted, she kept up her killing spree until no one could ignore it. Brynhildr and I went looking, while Jeanne, Sieg, Astolfo, and Chiron tried to draw her out, and Atalanta ambushed her once they did.

"Reika was killed by Atalanta in the chaos. She used her last breath to command Jackie to live on without her. Jackie was… shaken by her Master's death. So shaken that she brought her nightmare of a legend into the real world. Jeanne, Sieg, Atalanta, Brynhildr, and I were swept up in it. We found ourselves… on the dark streets of Victorian London at the height of Jackie's legend."

Klarion let out a low whistle, "She pulled Merlin into a nightmare illusion?"

"Never underestimate the legendary Murder-Daughteru~!" Harley chimed.

"Quite," I smirked back at Harley. "It was in that nightmare that the truth of Jackie was revealed. Atalanta reacted… poorly. Jeanne decided the best thing to do was to exorcise the wraiths making up Jackie's being. I disagreed."

"As you do," Dick nodded.

"Catholics," Penguin huffed. "It's always an exorcism with them."

"To be fair, I probably would've leaped straight to exorcism, too," Alice defended.

"Thankfully, I have certain advantages that others don't," I said. "True Magic can open and close a lot of doors. Like, say…? For a collective of wraiths tortured by Death?"

Didi smiled brilliantly, "You do me so proud, Dear~…"

"I try," I smiled back at her. "Even when I didn't know you were watching.

"It took constant effort, but I was able to hold Jackie together in Deathly peace, not pieces. I gave her something she couldn't even comprehend… A father. And Brynhildr gave her something she sorely craved… A mother. And she didn't even judge Jackie for trying to kill her! Brynhildr knew a thing or two about being forced to kill those you love…"

"Home…" Hestia was sniffling but smiling. "It's… perfect. I doubt anyone else could've done it as well as you and Brynhildr, Sean."

"This just makes me more eager to adopt a murder-child of my OWN!" Savage declared. "You may have a legendary Murder-Daughteru, Sean, but I shall have a heroic Murder-GRAND-Daughteru, HAHA!"

"[-_-]" Cass gave a serious nod. 'I shall strive to live up to my legendary rival.'

"Wait. No. Don't," Barbara chopped out, her eye twitching. "I forbid you-!"

"≖‿≖" Cass just squinted and smiled and somehow made her 'words' sparkle. 'Heh, *~Murder~*'

"CASSANDRA!"

"And so, that was about me done for the War," I said anticlimactically, moving right on from Cass' insistence on murder and Barbara's insistence on 'not'.

"That's it?" Ivy blinked. "What about… the climax…? The wish? Shirou vs. Jeanne? Anything else?"

"Oh, all of that happened. But I'd suddenly found myself the father of — essentially? — a newborn," I chuckled. "Brynhildr, Jackie, and I found better things to do than the rather pointless chore the War had become."

"You know what? Fair," Ivy nodded.

"And valid," Hestia smiled in agreement.

The mirror behind me showed scenes of my new family getting to know each other. Merlin-me teaching Jackie to read and write. Brynhildr doting on her with all of her Love. Jackie returning the favor by trying to slice Brynhildr open to little actual effect. But it was the thought that counted. We took her shopping, introduced her to foods she never would've experienced — it wasn't Magus hearts, but Jackie seemed to like fizzy drinks — and gave her all the hugs she'd never had.

"Oh, just sickeningly precious," Dionysus drawled.

"My Smith…" Aphrodite turned to her husband. "Perhaps… it's finally time for us…"

"… I see," Hephaestus muttered, sounding shocked. "I would… be honored to create something so special with you, my Love."

They proceeded to stare deep into each other's eyes, sharing a moment with their foreheads touching. Hephaestus could never be as beautiful as Aphrodite, but that didn't ruin the sweet scene. She obviously didn't mind in the slightest, loving her husband for all that he was, every unique strength and flaw. Dionysus rolled his eyes, of course, but Hestia had happy tears in her eyes as she watched her family potentially grow.

"Elsewhere, though," I continued. "A climax was, in fact, approaching. Jeanne and Shirou couldn't coexist. Shirou was determined to rewrite reality itself with his wish, and unable to allow that, Jeanne led a grand final battle against him. The Hanging Gardens were breached by Astolfo. Mentor and Student — Chiron and Achilles — battled one last time, and the Student surpassed the Mentor.

"Atalanta confronted Jeanne, giving in to her bestial side in her faith that Shirou's wish would enable hers. She wished to save all children of the world, unable to see that Shirou's salvation would only lead to disaster. On and on, the fights went, until Mordred confronted Semiramis and lost her first fight of the War.

"Only when she lay dying next to Kairi did I interfere in the climax. Both had accepted their deaths, but well…"

## Tsk tsk, tragedy, tragedy, I hardly know thee. There's no need for all of these theatrics when True Magic of Death is at play, ## Merlin-me's voice echoed through the bar, summing up my attitude in that life rather nicely as Mordred and her Master were spared and revived back to full health.

"Ahem…!" Savage cleared his throat. "I believe the correct term for this situation is 'FUCK YES'! 'Tragedy, I hardly know thee', indeed!"

Smirking ever-so-slightly, I finished my tale for the night, "In the end, Shirou's wish began to go through. His misguided salvation for humanity — seeking to free every Soul that ever was and hold them as equals in 'peaceful' stasis forevermore. It was Doom just as it was Salvation.

"But Sieg got the chance to make a wish, too. He sacrificed himself — just a Homunculus who'd barely known life — to spirit the Grail away to the Reverse Side of the World where there were no humans for Shirou's wish to affect. And so the Great Holy Grail War ended, the most theoretically successful iteration — for two wishes were actually made — but truly changing nothing at all…"

Parting scenes filled the mirror. Sieg's transformation into a Dragon and sacrificial spiriting away of the Grail. Shirou lay on Semiramis' lap, accepting her feelings for him in his final moments. As the sun rose, he found bliss beyond his one wish.

And for the survivors, new lives began in the modern era. Brynhildr, Jackie, and I had our family. Merlin-me roped little Mordy and her Master into it without hesitation. Kairi found perhaps not the daughter he mourned in Jackie, but a niece at the very least.

And as soon as I found out about his past, True Death Magic was unrepentantly used to reunite him with the daughter he'd lost. Astolfo also survived to wander the world, periodically popping in on our new lives. With a new beginning, the scenes and stories from that world faded to black.

"Sean…" Diana said stiltedly. "You said nothing of Sieg's sacrifice making him into a Dragon."

I just shrugged, "How else would he have gotten to the Reverse Side of the World, where myths and monsters roam?"

Klarion nodded his approval, "Hardcore. Not bad for an 'artificial' human."

"To Sieg~!" Harley raised a toast. "To Mordred~! To Jackie and Brynie~! To victory by saying 'fuck the War, we'll stick with Slice-of-Life'~!"

I nodded along, "And to Astolfo and his charmingly feminine penis."

The whiplash was comical, "Wh-AATT?!"

"Oh, Dear."

"Daaaaaadddd, eeeeewwwwwww…!"

"( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )" — 'And suddenly, I'm VERY intrigued by this Astolfo character.'

"… How can a penis be… feminine?"

"More easily than you might think."

"Hold on, hold on, hold on~! You can't leave us with just that, Gothboy~!"

"How do you even know about something like that…? Like, it's obvious looking at him, but did you confirm it or something?"

"Merlin sees all~," I simply said, my closed-eye smile twinkling. "Everything is 'present' once. Also… Smash."