The Devil's Incarnate

They say that nobody can hurt you unless you let it, and that no one can help you unless you let them. How do I stop myself from punishing myself for the death of Michael? Or do I deserve every bit of pain I inflict on myself? Hmm! No! But I think I do. And part of the prize I’ve had to pay is pretending to like my husband. It drives me insane! I want to kill Balogun and every single one in the family of the Olubanjes. But what can I do? I’m still coming up; still learning how to be cruel. And the first person I’m starting that with is myself.

I forced my mouth closed, muffling and swallowing down every sound that threatens to escape of my lips as blood just finds its way out of my hand. Yes, I stabbed it. And it is not the first time. But I only do it when I feel extremely too weak for this harsh world. The world is already a punishment, and if I don’t serve myself a punishment, then how would I fare in this world?