Scarecrow Has To Be What?

“Hello,” Darlene's grandmother said on a strange object. It was similar to what Darlene herself had been on. Her expression however was different though as she hung the object up. She patted Scarecrow's leg. “Nice to see you sitting on the couch. You pick up fast on things.”

“My new body finds it more comfortable,” he admitted. “Odd though, I am still not used to this feeling. Darlene showed me how to eat this morning, but I have another rumbling in my stomach. It is a good thing this food tastes wonderful,” he laughed. He rubbed his blonde hair, trying to get used to the feel of it. He would have to get used to so many things.

“It seems you will have to learn another new thing.” The elderly woman sighed and patted his leg again. “You must do something. This is not going to be as easy as eating or sleeping.”

He had something else to learn again, not a surprise. “It is okay. It is a nuisance, but I will get used to it all.” He propped his feet up on the little table in front of him. “I can have absolutely no feet on the ground. Isn't it remarkable?”

“Yes, but not proper,” the older woman reminded him. He quickly placed his feet back down. “Being a boyfriend with my granddaughter is also not proper from my point of view, but DIM says you are the ones. She was dressed as a witch, you were a scarecrow, it must be. At least there was a nice meet cute.”

“Make what cute?” Scarecrow asked. “What is a boyfriend?”

“A sort of . . . hugging and kissing duo?” She fidgeted her hands around. “Oh, Darlene is going to have a cow. You are not her type at all.”

“Type?” More funny words he didn't understand. “I am human now, so I think I am her type. Why would she be having a cow though? Is she planning on having a family with a cow?”

“That's not what I mean.” Darlene's grandmother groaned. “Until you know this world better, I can't see how this can be done.”

“Hey.” Darlene walked into the room and looked toward Scarecrow. “Did I miss anything?”

“Yes,” he answered. “Your grandmother says I must be your boyfriend.”

Strangely, she walked backwards and away.

“Oh, you!” Darlene's grandmother yelled at him as she went back after Darlene.

“Oh, dear.” Perhaps he should have been more sensitive with the subject manner? Scarecrow sighed. He didn’t even understand the subject matter.

***

“Darlene, we need to talk,” her grandmother said as she followed her back into another room.

“You can’t tell me that bozo is gonna be my boyfriend,” Darlene said as she gestured back toward Scarecrow in the other room. “What is he talking about? What have you been telling him?”

“Darlene, there is no easy way to say this. Many of our family members are a part of DIM.

Dimensional Investigative Missions. They watch out for gateways through different dimensions.” She reached into her pocket and pulled out a badge. “Although I am inactive, I have still kept my old badge.”

Darlene took her grandmother's badge. “DIM?”

“I was something when I was younger. As soon as Scarecrow arrived, I had informed them.” Her grandmother touched her shoulder. “I know now why he came to you. Our dimensions have been showing signs of wear. Something has been abusing the privilege of the dimension holes, and the apocalypse will happen if it isn't stopped.”

Darlene rubbed the old badge in her hand. “How would it stop?”

“Certain others from other dimensions are chosen,” her grandmother answered. “Love is a stronger element than you know, and it will help provide strength and will end the risks we face of the end coming.” Her grandmother touched her lips thoughtfully. “One of the first and most memorable prophecies talks about a witch and a scarecrow. Darlene, you are still in your halloween outfit. Chances are that you and Scarecrow must become a couple.”

“Uh?” Darlene shook her head. “No way, never going to happen. The guy can't even eat without guidance.”

“He's a fast learner, but you'll have to teach him the ropes.”

“That is disgusting, no way!” Darlene shouted at her grandmother. "I already have a boyfriend anyway!"

“Too bad, Darlene! We are not going to have the end of everything simply because you aren't attracted to him,” her grandmother countered her. “It could be worse. Look at him.”

Darlene looked over at Scarecrow still in the other room. “Yeah, outside he's a little . . .nice.” His hair was a towhead blonde, medium length. Although his clothes were ragged, muscle could still be seen. He looked like a tough farm boy, but his mouth curled up sweetly. If she'd have met him at the party, there wouldn't be much of a problem getting to know him more affectionately if she needed to.

Until he mentioned he was made of straw, or he didn't know how to eat or sleep. “Conner's coming by, and I don't need this right now.”

“Conner? That hooligan from this town?” Her grandmother criticized. “He isn’t even from your town, what do you see in him?”

“Well considering my town doesn't even exist,” Darlene shot back at her, “you could say it's the same town now. Look, you know the scarecrow guy. I'm not involved. I'll come back to help, but I don't know him, some great Aunt Dorothy of mine did.”

“He is a thousand times a better man than any of those tattooed motorcyclists you hang out with.”

“I only did that once.”

“You know what I mean.” Her grandmother covered her face. “Scarecrow owned a kingdom. He fought an evil witch. What has Conner done?”

“Scarecrow owned a kingdom because the wizard left him in charge,” Darlene argued, “and he didn't defeat the witch. Dorothy did. He fell to pieces. Like always.”

“You don’t know what you are speaking of!” For a second, her grandmother reached for her. “Scarecrow, Tin Woodman, and the Cowardly Lion all escorted a small child to the Wizard of Oz. They followed her to defeat the witch, and they helped her all the way until the end. Do you know why?”

Darlene was getting tired of the senseless talking. “They were bored in the magical land of pretty flowers and short people?”

“Because it was dangerous!” her grandmother glared. “I heard things about Oz from my Aunt Dorothy that would make your skin crawl. Oz was not a land of fun, it was dangerous and it could have killed her. He could have cut his losses and not gone with her. He could have stayed in his kingdom after getting his wish. All you know is the fairytale from here, you have no idea about anything else. Have you ever wondered why Dorothy never decided that going back to Kansas was too much hassle?” Her grandmother sighed. “Because there was no place like the safety of home.”

Darlene looked at her grandmother for several more seconds, thinking about what she said before she heard a motorcycle pull up. “That's Conner. I'll be back soon.”

“Darlene, there is no choice in this matter!” Her grandmother yelled at her. “I'm ninety years old, you know I can't take care of him alone!”

A likely excuse, but her grandmother had always been fit for her age. Besides, she wasn't going to be gone long. “I'll be back in less than an hour!” Darlene shouted back as she got on back of the motorcycle.

Scarecrow approached the door and watched Darlene leave with another guy on a strange contraption. “Yikes.” He chuckled a second. “If I had something like that in Oz, walking would have been much easier.” He looked toward Dorothy's great niece. “You do not seem happy she left. There is no worry, I can take care of myself. I'm not as hopeless as she believes.” His belly growled. “I must go eat again. I guess the banana was not good enough.”

“You have three basic large meals. You need your first one,” Darlene's grandmother answered.

“You also must eat.” Scarecrow looked at her body, trying to be kind. Her attitude was mighty, but her body was older and frail. “I will set you a spot at the table.”

“It's okay.” She looked at him sadly. “I know what's coming. The queen's records, they had some information. The biggest was that I would be involved in saving the end of days, but I would not be seeing it.” She made her way back into the house, but Scarecrow watched her carefully, shimmying closely behind her.

As she began to lose her balance on the stairs, he braced her. “Don't tumble. I used to tumble all the time when I was made of straw, but I'm afraid it would hurt you.”

“Yes, I know.” She breathed a sigh of relief and looked back at him. “I think I've got some clothes in about your size. Let's go try some on you.”

***