chapter 16

For last week I have been laying in my room in excruciating pain like a deep ache in my gut. It was as if I had an itch on the inside that I just simply could not reach with my hands no matter how much I tried. Fluids came pouring out of my backside constantly like a raging river. My front member never stayed down no matter how many times I forced an ejaculation. My body continuously felt hot and heavy. It became hard to walk or even breathe. The only thoughts that ever rushed through my head through this long, excruciating week, Was the thought of Jun-Myeon's lips touching mine. For the small, brief moment before he left my room, I felt complete. The world had stopped around us and it was just this small, perfect moment before I was smacked with The reality of that I did not belong in his world. I was nothing more than a black blotch in the middle of a masterpiece. I didn't understand what was happening to my body or why, But I just wanted it to stop. I wanted him to fix it. I called his name for an entire week, but he never came walking through that door. He never came to whisper. Sweet Words to me to comfort me. He never came and gave me a hug and told me I'd be alright. Instead, he ignored my pleas and Carried on with life as if I wasn't in this room. it felt more like a prison, And I was going to die alone in it. Sebastian came into the room every other day to give me water to make sure I wasn't becoming dehydrated. But I couldn't hold food down So I haven't eaten a meal in a week. 

"Are you finally awake?" Sebastian asked as he walked into the room with a small Bowl Of mushroom and rice porridge. I never could read Sebastian, or rather he was happy or sad, or even if he was angry. He just kept this one tone voice with this porcelain doll like face, as if he's never even smiled a day in his life. I would believe that Sebastian was an AI robotic before. I believe that he was human. He showed no human characteristics. He looked like us and sounded human, but There was just like no human connection. 

"Yes. Where's Jun?" I had softly as I sat in my window seal with a book. Getting ready to read until I saw Jun And some woman Locked arms with him walking towards the car. Both were dressed fancy as if they were going on a date. In that very moment, it was as if. The world had stopped and the only thing that was moving was the broken pieces of my heart as they fell from my chest and hit the floor, echoing Through my ears like a bad omen. I could hear as my heart Shattered like a piece of glass being hit with a stone. I listened as the small pieces of my glass heart tinged off the floor and shattered even smaller as I watched the man that I loved for the last three years walk out the door with another woman that I've never even seen before. He ignored my pleas and acted as if I didn't exist for the last week as I was in pain, screaming for help. No, but I am well. He is going on a date It hasn't Even so much, just said hello to me. But what could I be expecting? He's a guy. He's a guy I like. He's a guy that I like so I followed his social media accounts religiously. I never even met him or knew him, but I was perfectly happy with knowing small bits of his personal life, even if he didn't know my name. I was content with how things were. I could have loved him from afar and been perfectly fine, but he had inserted himself in my life and now he acted like I didn't even exist. After these promises and all these empty words. It's as if I'm once again the phantom of the halls. I can scream, plead, And I can try my best, but nobody will ever see me. Normally after expressing your feelings and kissing someone. You would either start dating or decide to be just friends, but in my case neither applies because I am a guy, and he is out of my league. Even though my heart is breaking before my eyes. I still can't help but to Want to know what his relationship is with her, But I can't. He owed me no explanation. I wasn't his boyfriend. Maybe I was just an experiment to him.

"He's gone out For a business meeting; he will return in about an hour." Sebastian said as he sat the porridge on the End table by my bed. He checked me one more time for a fever and made sure I was no longer in pain before leaving my room. Leaving me alone with the silent aching of my heart. As I watched June and his date drive away From my lonely third floor bedroom window. I felt like Rapunzel watching The lights from her tower Window, but never could reach them. 

Once the version had finally left my room, I had started to limp towards my bed when I heard a tapping on my window. So, I hopped back to the window to open it up to see what was going on Once I had opened the window. Suddenly my brother Jin appeared Smiling brightly, happy to see me, almost scaring me half to death. 

"How did you get in here? I'm on the third floor." I asked surprised that he even made it to the window. Jin Hurried and gave me a hug Almost knocking us both down to the floor.

"I came To bust you out. You never gave me a call, so I got worried, and I just had to hunt you down and bring you home because I missed you." Jin Explained in a whisper as. He pushed my hair behind my ears and smiled brightly. Any other day of the week if Jin Came and told me he was taking me away from this house where Jun Slept every night, I would have fought him and told him no. I wanted to stay, but. My heart was in pieces, and I felt like I could trust no one. Like I was locked in this prison And everyone around me just ignored my screams.

"How do we even get out? There are guards at every door and my leg still has a limp." I asked curiously. My brother just got this big mischievous smile on his face As he just started changing my clothes Out of the blue. Suddenly I heard a large Boom sound coming from the back of the house. And there was Screaming and a lot of commotion running throughout the house. I heard the door rattle as if somebody was looking for a key to get in and Jin just Picked me up in his arms Walking towards the window.

"Do you trust me?" He asked, looking at me As if he was examining my face for an answer.

"Yes." I said confidently holding on To him tightly.

"Then it's time to go." He said excitedly as he decided to just jump from the window as if we were birds and we could just flap our wings and fly away, but the only thing I could do was close my eyes and hold on to his body For dear life as we began to fall from the third floor and then suddenly, We stopped in midair. I slowly fluttered my eyes open to look up to see that there was a cable connected to my windowsill, stopping us just before we hit the ground. Jin Chuckled as he let me down, stand on my feet, and unhooked himself from the wire. He put me on his back. As if I weighed absolutely nothing to him. And just started ducking through the bushes and around the fountains Avoiding each guard that was running around the house frantically trying to put out the fire in the back. Once we made it off the property Jin Had a car waiting for us. I felt like a kidnapped Princess being rescued from the villain's house. Though my heart still ached with pain I didn't want to face him yet. I didn't want to Ask him these questions for I was terrified of the answers. 

"So where are we going?" I asked as he helped me get in the car.

"I'm gonna take you to our place. I even had you a room set up next to mine so that you could feel a little more comfortable when you visit more often." He Replied as he buckled my seat belt and shut the door. I watched as he walked around the car and got in the Seat next to me and buckled his seat belt. The way he fidgeted with the seat belt, you could tell that he was a little bit nervous, but he was also overly excited. The way he just could not sit still and just kept smiling, He was like a kid on Christmas morning and couldn't wait to open all their presents. 

"Does Father know that I am coming?" I had shifting in my seat, looking down at my hands as I fiddled with my nails. I was terrified of Father and what he might say when I returned back home without even saying I'm sorry for the disrespect that I showed him. 

"father knows That you're coming home. I told him I was going to bring you home after you disappeared from the hospital. Plus, we haven't gotten a call from you. So, we got a little worried about where you were and if you were well." Jin said as the car pulled away driving down the long road And I watched Jun's House disappeared into the distance. I felt like a dream had become a nightmare and now it was finally ending. Except for it ended with my heartbroken and left on the beautiful marble floors in the bedroom his Daughter worked so hard to create for me. It was as if everything was over before it could even begin. I felt like I was toyed with and experimented with. How could you hold me like you did and kiss me like you did, but then ignore my pleas for help and act like I don't exist? I thought I was someone special. I wanted so bad to be someone special to you. I wanted to be close to you and hold you and be someone you could be proud to have by your side. But as always, my dreams got too big, and I got too greedy, and I bit off more than I could chew. So, I was left to be smacked down by reality and left with disappointment and heartbreak. Will you even notice that I'm gone when you return? Would anybody even tell you that I'm gone? 

"Are you OK?" Jin asked as He looked at me with worry in his eyes. 

"I'm fine. Just trying to bury some old feelings." I said softly as I stared at the magnificent house, slowly fading into the distance. I wanted these feelings to suffocate. I wanted them to be buried so deeply I no longer knew they existed because of the way my chest aches. When I think of his name, or remember his smile, or even remember how his lips felt against mine, I feel like I might die. My brain feels like will explode and my chest tightens and the Oxygen around me feels toxic. I wouldn't survive by allowed myself to feel this pain that came with the heartbreak that I'm not even entitled to. I'm heartbroken over something that was never mine. I wanted something that was out of my league and out of my reach. I wanted to touch the stars, knowing that they would burn me and once they burnt me, I now run away and hope that I can still look at them from a distance and they still shined bright.