Chapter Thirty-Three: Future King

JOJI ISN'T SURE HOW THE NEWS WAS going to go over well with his parents. Though no matter what they say, more like his father, he was going to go. It's his final year at Karasuno, he's going to do everything exciting with his friends. A Tokyo training camp? Yea, it will probably be tiring, but it's an experience that Joji is more than happy with going through with his friends.

He has been to Tokyo plenty of times. Though to stay for a volleyball training camp was new. Not only that but the schools that he had heard from coach Ukai were some that he hadn't heard of before. He couldn't wait to see what kinds of guys went to those schools. After all, he quite liked Nekoma, who's to say he won't like Fukurōdani or Shinzen. The only downside would be that he couldn't go around Tokyo and hang out there. What a bummer.

Getting home, his mother greeted him warmly and inquired about his day. They talked for a while over some tea before he went to his room to get some homework done. As he wrote out some of his math homework, his knee bounced under his desk. Joji might not admit it out loud but he was nervous. Talking to his family about the things he wants to do was always a toss up of emotions for him. On one hand, he was confident enough to do what he wanted, and wouldn't be convinced to not do it. However, he was also insecure about what they would think about what he wanted. Things had been chosen for him for so long and making the decision for himself was usually a toss up. It wasn't until recently that he was allowed to make them for himself. Even then he doesn't do anything too drastic, really just staying in the volleyball club and going to Karasuno were the biggest ones that he had made. Perhaps he wasn't given the chance to do it, but he didn't make too many.

Soon enough, Joji found himself at the dining room table starting to eat his meal. As usual the dinner was more or less silent. Every once and a while, Eliza would attempt to make small talk but it never really led anywhere. Joji's stomach was tied in a tight knot as he thought over how he was going to say that he was going to the camp. His mother would most likely be supportive to an extent, of course unless his father convinced her otherwise. Joji loves his mother dearly, but she can bend quite easily to the things her father wants. She could be far too passive when up against her father, in Joji's opinion.

The tense atmosphere wasn't helping Joji with his plan to explain the camp to them. It really would only help contribute to his father's disagreement to the idea. He knew that his father would not approve of the trip, but it wasn't like Joji cared that he already knew what his father thought. The only way that he was going to get through this night was getting straight to the point. After all, even if Joji was going to make his own decision no matter what his father said, he still was allowed to know Joji's plans.

"The team is heading to a training camp in Tokyo soon," Endo started to say while munching on some dinner. His mother had made a wonderfully delicious plate of salmon for them tonight, and Joji loved it. Well, he loved anything that his mother cooked or baked, since she's quite an artist in the kitchen, not just with her own art.

Eliza turned to him with a sweet smile, "Oh, really? That sounds like fun! They've never done a training camp that far away."

Joji smiled at that, "everyone is really excited about it."

Though through their happy moment, Hideaki himself had to cut through it with a knife. "I'm suspecting that you wish to go." The room became chilly as they continued to eat. Eliza did her best to ignore the feeling that was wafting around the room, but that was hard with Joji starting to match the chilled atmosphere with his own slowly growing anger.

The normal anger that Joji got when his father made comments such as this was simmering under his skin. He hoped that tonight would be a night to get into another argument with his father, but he knew that he would be wrong. Joji held his father's gaze with sharp eyes and didn't waver, "Yes, I'm going."

Eliza's sunny disposition tried to break in between the two men, "How long is it?"

"A week." Joji said monotony.

"I think it sounds wonderful, you could learn a lot-"

"You should not go," Hideaki cut her off

Even though Joji wasn't surprised with the denial, that didn't mean he wasn't any less angry and annoyed. He narrowed his eyes even further, "What?"

Hideaki knew that he was going to get "There's no need to busy your time with a sports camp that will do little to benefit you in the future."

Joji stared at him with a tight smile as he laughed humorlessly, "Why do you think you can control that, hm?"

"These… silly distractions from your future-"

"Distractions?" Joji scoffed in disbelief, "These aren't distractions for anything."

Hideaki shook his head, obviously becoming frustrated with this, "You chose to join this club in spite of what I want for you." Why was his son being such a hassle? Over this club that he deemed unimportant. Hideaki is a practical man, and he didn't deem it practical to be in a club that he didn't see contributing to Joji's future plans.

Joji just stared at him with a dumbfounded look. Was his father even hearing his own words? He blinked owlishly, "What you want for me? What about what I want?"

"Please," Eliza said, trying to intervene before things got too out of hand, "let's not fight about this."

Though Hideaki wasn't going to have any of that right now. After all this seemed to be a very important topic to talk through. "Eliza, it's time we had this talk with him about any distractions that he has from what's important." He loves his wife, but from his point of view she babied their son far too much. Joji is becoming a man in the real world and he needs to face the facts. He stared down his son from across the table, "Do you even enjoy volleyball? What's the point of busying precious time with silly things like playing a sport when you could be focusing on bettering your skills for your future in the company?"

Joji's eyes twitched in annoyance, "A company that deals with the therapy and production of athletic prosthetics definitely has nothing to do with sports, huh?"

Hideaki sighed heavily, "What I mean is instead of going to a sports camp that will not have any benefit to you, why not stay home and study on medical practices to use during your time at the company. While having an understanding of the sport is a nice sentiment, the medical aspect of it is imperative to understand." He could see his son's reasoning about actually playing a sport, but that wasn't necessary for their line of work. Even so, in Hideaki's mind what's more important research for the business would be to study medical techniques and practices not just playing one sport for years.

"And what if I want to have fun?" Joji asked, his teeth starting to grind, "Am I allowed to have fun?! I'm in high school, I should be having fun with my friends, right?!"

"Fun has nothing to do with your future-"

"MY FUTURE!?!" Joji exclaimed, his voice dripping in disbelief and bemusement. He had hit his boiling point it seemed. Sure, he's put up with his father, and argued with him most of the time and all of it had finally hit its end. Joji started to seeth, "Stop trying to control every aspect of my life! I thought I would get to be left alone for the entirety of my high school career, that you wouldn't interject yourself into every decision that I made, but it looks like I was wrong."

Hideaki seemed slightly shaken at the shout and rant. Though he brushed it off, since he's used to the angered exclamations from his dramatic son. He cleared his throat, "Well, I have to. You don't look at the bigger picture."

"I don't want to look at the bigger picture, not now." The boy scoffed, "Ever since you forced us to come to Japan, I was never allowed to be a kid, never allowed to have fun. Back in France, I could be a kid, I could play games, make mistakes, have fun. But the moment you dragged me here, you forced every decision you thought was best for me down my throat. The freedom that normal children have is something that I was never allowed." 

Joji remembered all the times he was told 'no' to playing with the only friends he had, to going to places like zoos or parks, all because his father didn't see it necessary. He didn't have a childhood like a normal kid should have, he wasn't allowed. All because of his father's blinded view of his child's life. It frustrated him to no end and while he did his best over the years to portray that frustration to his father, Joji always got nowhere with him.

"You were not a normal child. You were-"

"I WAS A CHILD!"

The dining room was nearly silent except for the heavy breathing coming from Joji. He was nearly shaking as he glared down at his father, the man almost looking shocked at the outburst. He's seen his son mad at him, but this was a rage that he hadn't ever experienced. Eliza appeared to be extremely upset at the palpable anger brewing between the two men.

"Mon chéri…" Eliza started to say softly, more than worried with how things were going to go. This was more intense than any argument that she has bared witness to. It felt heavier than anything else. She hates this. Hates it so much.

Joji didn't even look at her as he commanded, "Mum, please go."

"Joji-"

"This is between father and I." He said sternly, still not looking at her. Whether that was because he didn't want to or couldn't work up the courage to, is clear. He let out a deep breath, "You don't need to be dragged into it again."

Hideaki also silently urged her to do it with a quick glance in her direction. He didn't need to have her here since, in his mind, she wasn't going to help either side with her indecisiveness. Even if she wanted to stay, Eliza could see from the hardened expression on their faces that they weren't going to budge on the idea. Yes, she hates seeing her husband and son argue, but this felt heavier than the normal argument. So she left them to deal with whatever differences they needed to. She just hoped that it didn't end up being a much bigger issue in the end.

After Eliza left quickly, all that remained was Hideaki and Joji in the dining room that was slowly becoming colder with each passing second. Neither man appeared as though they were really going to say anything. Hideaki didn't seem to know what to say at all and Joji's mind was racing so fast that he didn't know where to start.

Hideaki sighed heavily while leaning back into his chair, "I never wanted this to upset your mother."

Joji scoffed, "Well, we're far beyond that point now. Years beyond that point. All because you wanted to dictate what I do in my life."

"You don't even know what you want in life." Hideaki stated harshly, knowing that he was most certainly in the right about this. After all, he's seen his son grow up not grasping onto anything to stick with it long. Though it's not like he realized that it was due to anything he could have done while raising his son.

Joji bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from making any loud outburst again. "That's because I was never given a chance to explore things about life. Things that could interest me or that I might like to do in the future!"

Hideaki stared at his son for a long moment. Taking in those words. He didn't really think about it like that, though how could that be wrong? "All to make sure that you focus on the future."

"A future that you can't even be sure that I wanted!"

A beat of silence passed between them. This had to be the longest time that either of them had spoken to each other. Due to Joji avoiding his father and Hideaki being too busy to be home to talk with his son. So it was like they were finally coming to a new revelation with things about this. Joji never would think about what reasons his father would have with forcing his decisions down his throat were anything else than selfish. The idea that Hideaki would think of anything other than himself or his business would never cross Joji's mind. Though staring down his father with a heated glare and seeing how Hideaki's eyes were starting to soften caused Joji to pause slightly.

In his own mind, Hideaki was starting to realize just how far he has pushed his son away. After all these years, the effort that Hideaki thought he was putting into helping his son in the future was all for naught. Forcing Joji to lose something as precious as his childhood had affected him, hurt him so much. Hideaki should have realized this sooner. It shouldn't take his son shouting and screaming at him for Hideaki to come to this conclusion. This was far too overdue, he realized.

"I know." Hideaki finally said, his tone just being slightly softer than usual, "I know that I have made mistakes when raising you. I should have been there for you more. I said some things that have hurt you. I should have been a more attentive father. Though I did it all for you." He did his best to try and stress this point to him, since that was the only reason in his eyes. After all, he values his son more than anything in this world. How had that been misconstrued at some point? "I want you to be successful and not have anything to jeopardize that. All I wish is for you to have the opportunities that I never had as a child. Doors were never opened and remained shut until I forced them open with my achievements in business. It was tough and difficult and I don't want you to have to struggle for it. I can see now that I was going about this the wrong way."

It took a moment for Joji to process this. It certainly wasn't something that he would have thought about his father doing. Maybe when he was a child he believed that his father wanted what was best for him, but growing up he felt like that was not true. His father proved time and time again that he didn't care all too much about Joji's thoughts and his interests, so he didn't care what he thought. Though to now hear that all this time his father thought he was doing what was best for him… It just made Joji even more annoyed.

"Why didn't you realize this sooner?" Joji asked, close to shaking at his fathers admission, "After everything that I've told you, after what mum has told you, you're only now seeing the issues?"

Hideaki had the decency to look even slightly ashamed for his words, "I'm sorry."

"You could have saved us so many hurt feelings, especially for mum. She was always put in the middle of this and had to pick sides. Go with her teenage son who just wants some freedom in his own life, or go with her demanding husband who's got his head so far up his ass that he can't even realize that he's the reason his family is so torn!" That had to be another thing that pissed Joji off quite a bit. His mother had been in the middle of all of this for years, and Joji didn't like that things couldn't have been better for her not to worry about them. Though that never was going to happen, was it? Joji stood up from his chair leaning across the table to stare his father in the eyes. The anger emanating from him seemed to be keeping Hideaki in his spot as he stared at his son. "I have spent years thinking that you thought of me as nothing but your replacement. As soon as I became of age you'd train me to take your spot in the company and nothing more. I was nothing but a tool for you to use once you could no longer work with your company. And I tried, I tried when I was younger to live up to your expectations but nothing was ever enough for you." He harshly spat, "I wasn't smart enough, I wasn't devoted enough, I wasn't focusing enough. So yea, that discouraged me quite a bit. I wasn't enough for my father, who I thought of as my hero!" Joji wasn't sure, but he thought he could feel hot tears trailing down his cheeks, though he ignored that. "Then every time I tried to venture out to explore things on my own like art or volleyball or anything not related to the company I was scolded and told to forget it. Do you know what it does to a child to constantly be put down for trying new things, things that I was proud of for a time?" Hideaki's face lost any semblance of its stoney expression as he took all those words in. If Joji really thought about it, his father started to look… broken. Though Joji continued to rant, "So I don't think you should be surprised that I "rebelled" against you when I made that deal with you to attend Karasuno. So yes, I'm angry with you for your instance to constantly keep having your input in my decisions. I'm angry that I never felt like my life was my own. I'm angry that you never even seemed to love me!" He was breathing heavily, getting so much off of his chest was certainly draining. At this point, he knew that he was crying openly. The only ones who had really seen him cry was his mother and Asahi, being this vulnerable with his father was never a thought to him. How was that possible? Just how broken was their family? He swallowed thickly, "but I can't hate you. You're my father, I can't hate you like I want to. I still love you but it's… it's hard to just forgive what happened."

There was so much to take in there. So many emotions, so many regrets. Hideaki was having trouble processing it. How does he respond? How could he make up for this? These years of pushing his son away and forcing him to view him as a selfish father. How had things become so horrible for them. How were they going to fix this?

"I'm sorry for everything. I just…" Hideaki rubbed the bridge of his nose. He was unable to look his son in the eyes, unlike when he usually scolded his son for something like shouting and arguing. Though his avoidance of eye contact may be because of just how upset Joji appeared to be. Hideaki has never seen his son cry, he didn't think his son was capable of it since he was a child. Hideaki himself wasn't much of a cryer either. Though at this moment he nearly felt like crying, for how emotional things had become between them. He tried to continue on through some choked words, "I wished to give you a stable job once you were old enough, a comfortable lifestyle for when you grew up. So I wouldn't have to worry about you being lost in life."

Joji stared at his father through his blurry vision. This was something. An apology was a start, he thought. Though just how far was an apology going to get them? He sat back down in his chair and stared at his untouched meal. "I appreciate the apology. But if this is some… manipulation tactic to convince me not to go to Tokyo, it's not going to work. I'm going." He said stiffly, with no means of arguing with his decision. "You think that you know me, that I'm not interested in volleyball, but I am. I might not see it as something that I'll do as a career or that I'll do in college, but I enjoy it. I like it enough to stay on this team, to be a part of it for three years. I am dedicated to this team, whether you believe it or not. You don't know what I want, I suggest working on learning how to find that out, like a normal father should."

Even after all the ranting and revelations, Joji still wasn't going to trust his father. The apology was nice, but Joji wouldn't put it past his father to do something like this. After all, it would take more than just a long talk to undo all the years of neglect and hate. It would take a long time to make up for those years and for his father to learn how to do better.

Hideaki just nodded his head stiffly, agreeing with that idea. He had plenty to make up for and had to learn how to properly parent his son. Though what would that do now? After all, his son is almost an adult. He had missed out on so much.

Nothing more had to be said as Joji just climbed to his feet and swiftly made a beeline for the exit. He barely even glanced at his mother who was standing right outside the dining room. She obviously had been eavesdropping on the argument, though Joji didn't care. He just wanted to go to his bedroom and reflect on how much he just dumped onto his father.

He climbed up the stairs and clumsily made his way into his bedroom. Joji instantly plopped down onto his bed, more than content with trapping himself in the comfy confines of his bed and sleeping through the night.

He wanted to be alone. Sure, there was a part of his mind that felt like it wasn't the best idea. There was no need to be stuck in his thoughts all by himself. It would do him no good to end up going down a road of self-loathing and annoyance towards his father. Though he didn't think it would be a good idea to unload all his emotions on someone again. It would be better if he just stayed like this for a while. To help him process everything properly.

Staring blankly at the ceiling, Joji didn't know if he should cry or not. He felt like progress was most likely made with his father. That he probably could understand where Joji was coming from with how he was treated all his childhood. Though who knew if it went anywhere. His father was a stubborn man, which is where Joji got his stubbornness from. Joji could only hope that things got through to his father. It was better now or never.

---

Down in the dining room, Hideaki sat in his seat, having not moved an inch since his son left. It was taking much longer than he thought to calm down from everything that was said. He had wanted to talk to his son about what was going to come in the future, but Hideaki didn't think it would end up like this.

Yes, revelations were made, but he didn't think that they were all too good. He hadn't even realized that it was that bad for his son. Joji had many grievances with how Hideaki wanted to get him ready for his future, but Hideaki didn't think they had hurt him like this. Had he stolen his childhood from him? No. That couldn't be right. 

Hideaki always told himself since he learned of Eliza's pregnancy that he would be a good father. He would do everything he could to provide for his family. He missed out on a lot due to him being at work, but he was doing that to better the life for his family. He worked to get money, to secure the perfect life that he knew his wife and child deserved. Then while Joji was born he knew that he had to create the perfect path for his son. A straight pathway into a secure job that would help Joji live a life that he deemed luxurious and befitting of his pride and joy. How that ended up becoming something that Joji himself despised was not in Hideaki's plans.

A gentle hand placed itself on his shoulder. It was a comforting touch that Hideaki had memorized years ago. It nearly broke him to have her comfort him as he sat in the dining room after that spat. A part of him loved that his wife was comforting him after such a jarring argument, but a part of him didn't think he deserved it.

"I didn't realize," he said softly. He looked up to his wife, his eyes nearly brimming with tears. This had shaken him so much, Eliza could tell. Though she's glad that it happened. 

She sighed heavily, "We tried to tell you. But you kept your plans at the forefront of your mind. Nothing could ever get through to you." As much as she would like to comfort her husband to stop any pain that he might be feeling, she has to be truthful. Now with everything out in the open, she has to be a bit more harsh when it comes to going over this.

He looked up at his wife with a near broken expression, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," She got out, her own eyes tearing up, "I should have tried more to get you two to understand each other."

He shook his head, taking her hand into his own, "No. No. This is my fault, you're as much a victim as Joji." He was able to recognize at least that. Which made him feel even worse that he had done this to his wife, one of the last things he would ever want to do. "There's… a lot that I have overlooked, a lot that I need to learn."

"And I'll help you."

All Hideaki wanted was to set his son up with a kingdom of his own. Though he has an understanding now that he didn't do it in the right way. That was one step in the right direction. It might be progress in this family, all that could happen now is waiting to see just how Hideaki would make it up to his family for all these years. He wasn't going to just abandon the idea of his son taking over the company, but he knows that he should be more considerate when it comes to Joji's opinions. He just hoped that it wasn't too late.