Chapter 1
The sound of water filled my head and flooded my ears as I sank to the bottom.
What did I do to deserve to die today?
Was it my existence?
My innocence?
Did I not give enough?
Even if I searched every word I'd ever spoken, would I be able to find a reason? My vision was now blurry as the blue water engulfed my senses. Sunshine poured down on me.
Sunshine.
Just like he said to me every morning: "Good morning, Sunshine."
Sunshine.
Sunshine was dying.
----
8:30
August 21st
The alarm clock pulled the boy out of sleep.
The day felt melancholy. Excitement buzzed as the college freshman was eager to meet new people and experience new things, but the mood was bitter. Bitter in the sense that it felt like his new start wasn't very deserved. He was guilty for feeling happy, so that happiness soured; the soured happiness turned bitter.
But he was overthinking it.
That's what he wanted anyway.
After putting on his uniform, the young man left for the campus where new students roamed, talking and exploring. He was alone, not knowing anyone. This time, he had nobody to hide behind, and it felt suffocating.
Suddenly, a force shoved him to the side sharply. A group of sporty-looking boys, seemingly full of arrogance, paused at the disruption.
"I'm sorry. Are you okay?" One asked, casting aside the image he had of a stuck-up sports star.
"Mhm," The teen responded.
"You shouldn't stand still in the middle of the walkway. People aren't always going to be nice, you know," The sporty boy said, placing his hand on the younger boy's shoulder and sending a bolt of electricity through his body. The sudden reaction was seemingly unwarranted. After all, to the older boy, it was just a simple act of comfort.
Little did the sporty boy know, as he moved closer the freshman's heart stopped. Fear gripped him so tight he couldn't breathe. His only focus was the older student standing before him, slowly approaching. In his head were panicked thoughts of wanting to disappear and run away as fast as he could, but fear paralyzed them from being acted upon.
A tear ran down his cheek.
"Are you okay? Do you need to see the nurse? I can call someone."
"No, no. I'm fine," A scared voice choked out. He felt his emotions unable to be controlled as they flowed out in a mess he didn't understand, without warning. It was like his body reacted before he began to comprehend the situation.
Snapping out of the trance holding him, the younger boy walked away quickly, not looking back, even though he could feel the eyes on him. His subconscious mind led him to a dimly lit spot by a janitor's closet where he was hidden from the direct line of sight of people passing by. Seeing the way the boy clutched his knees to his chest, one would assume that he was in a great deal of physical pain. In reality, curling up into the tightest ball possible was his only way to combat the mental agony he was experiencing. It made him feel more secure, at least enough to steady his breath. He blocked the side of his thin body with his backpack to create a smaller space, calming himself.
A few minutes passed as he idly sat, staring at the wall across from him and then at his phone when an echo of someone approaching bounced off the walls.
"Are you okay?"
It was the upperclassman again, but he was more aware as he approached, standing cautiously away from the freshman.
"Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay," His nervous eyes adverted the strong gaze.
"Good. That's good. Why are you sitting down there?"
"It's a cozy spot. It's safe," The boy whispered.
"Am I making you feel unsafe right now? I will leave if you want me to." The older boy sensed something was very wrong and that continuing to push the boy at that moment would only cause more stress.
"Would you really go? I mean, if I said I wanted you to," He responded, shocked but cautious.
"Of course."
Hearing his answer, he paused skeptically and looked at the older boy from the corner of his eye. "Okay then. Can you go back into the hallway? So I can get out. I still need to register."
The upperclassman laughed at the freshman's paranoia. The kid was more focused on getting checked in than he was about himself. He moved aside to let him out and a warmth crept into his heart. It made him wonder more about the scared person he had just met.
The boy kept both eyes on him while leaving, watching and waiting for him to move, but he didn't. He only smiled back.
People stared at the newcomer, each whispering to the person next to them while stealing looks. However, for the boy, the various club booths lining the front campus were most interesting to him. Art, Chess, Chemistry, Cheerleading, Volleyball, Theatre, all the clubs he saw piqued his interest. Once he was done exploring, he sat on a bench beneath a tree to begin planning his schedule based on what clubs he found.
"So, what club are you thinking of?"
The boy about pissed himself when a voice came from behind him. A girl with medium-length brown hair smiled kindly at the startled face, slightly amused.
"Freshmen have to join a club, you do know that?" She circled the bench where the boy was and sat down.
"Oh, I wasn't really interested in any of them," He lied quickly.
"You don't have to rush it. I can show you around some clubs right now! Come."
The girl grabbed the nervous boy's hand tightly and smiled before dragging him along into the building. They spent the morning talking and exploring. She was kind of like an older sister; caring, reliable, and attentive to him. He thought that she was definitely going to be someone whom he could trust. Someone who would be a good friend.
"Let's go get lunch. I'll show you where the dining hall is." She said after an hour of walking around the campus.
The boy happily followed her after a long walk all over the campus.
"You seemed pretty interested in some clubs. Why did you say you weren't? Your eyes lit up when you saw the cooking club. Do you like cooking?"
The boy eagerly nodded, "I've been cooking since I was a kid. I don't do it a lot though because nobody ever wants to eat any of it."
"Well, that's good because I love to eat," She smiled, "I'm sure that your cooking is delicious."
"I don't even eat it. Not that it's bad or anything, I've just eaten too much."
The girl looked around suddenly.
"Hey! I met two freshmen this morning and invited them to eat. Is it ok that they come over?"
The boy paused for a minute, then hesitantly said yes, prompting her to wave to a girl and a boy until they walked over and took a seat.
"Okay, everyone! Let's introduce ourselves," She started, "You all know me already, but I'm Olive, a third-year Theatre arts major. Ok, ok, you next."
Olive eagerly looked at the girl who had just sat down.
"I'm Sana. I'm a first-year STEM major. Nice to meet you."
"Yeah! Women in STEM!" Olive said.
"I'm Lin. I'm a first-year Agriculture major and Sana's childhood friend," said the boy.
"Ohh, we got childhood buddies I see," Olive said with a smirk.
"I'm going to hit you as hard as I possibly can."
"Violent! You're a boy! That's! Sowrongofyoutosay!"
"You piss me off, you know that? Stop talking like that, people are going to think you've finally lost your fucking mind." The harsh words made the other freshman boys' jaw drop.
"Lin is my little brother, don't be alarmed," Olive smiled mischievously. "Your turn!"
The boy coughed and then continued, "I'm Lyke. It's a weird name, I know, but you'll get used to it. Oh, and I'm a music major."
"Wait. Lyke is such a cool name, What the hell?" Sana said, causing Lin to elbow her, then Olive smacked Lin.
"What was that for? I was telling her not to talk to people like that..." Lin sulked.
"Violence isn't the answer."
"But-?"
"Shhhh," She put her finger on her lips and smirked again.
"You lied to me. You said you just met them this morning," Lyke said, confused.
"Oh. I guess I did say that. Well, I did meet them, just not for the first time."
Lin sighed, obviously used to his older sister's antics.
Finishing up their plates of food, Olive and Lin left the remaining two to their own devices. Coincidentally, the cooking club had caught both of their eyes, so they walked together to sign up.
"I'm sorry Olive was acting like that. She's excited, but she doesn't always act so spastic. Usually, she's very gentle and wise," Sana said, smiling.
"Well, it is the first day, it's easy to get excited. She seems very nice, like an older sister. Someone you feel safe around, you know?"
"I understand that. That's what it was like when I first met her. Enthusiastic but gentle, outgoing but not overbearing. She's perfect," Sana swooned.
"Here's the club. Right here," He remembered from Olive's tour and pointed to a pair of doors.
"Welcome!-" An older girl started talking but cut herself off when she looked up and saw the two freshmen standing in front of her, "Uh, welcome. Are you here to sign up?"
They both nodded and the girl looked at the boy, disgusted. "I'm afraid we only have one more spot available here. How about you take it?" She looked at Sana, holding a pen out for her to take.
"I-" Sana started, but Lyke swiftly cut her off, aware that the older girl didn't want him there.
"It's fine! I don't think I'm very good at cooking anyway. I'll find a new club," He waved to Sana and slowly left the room.
The boy started to wonder what he possibly could have done, if he had done anything at all, to make the girl look at him that way; loathing, hateful, and most of all, annoyed by his very presence. He'd been there for a total of a couple hours yet there was intention in her eyes.
Wandering around the hallways, the sound of sneakers squeaking on a gym floor and a basketball dribbling rang out. As he approached the door of the gym, the basketball that had been dribbling rolled towards the boy, slowly bouncing. Stepping in to pass back the ball, a group of familiar voices could be heard.
"Hey. Aren't you that kid from earlier?" The group that had bumped into the boy that morning stood and stared back at him. "Isn't that the kid from earlier?"
"Yeah. Yeah, I guess it is. Hey. You made Rain miss the club meeting this morning."
"How is that my fault," The freshman murmured under his breath.
"Can you play? Basketball, I mean." One of the boys asked.
"I don't play anymore. I'm not good at it," Lyke responded.
"Show us. You came here to sign up, right? So what are you waiting for?" He tossed a ball into his chest.
"I was just passing by. I wasn't looking to sign up."
"Come on now," the tallest of the three-person group placed his arm around his shoulder, bending down slightly to whisper in his ear, "I know you came to see him."
The breath on his neck as the tall boy quietly laughed made Lyke shudder. "Why don't you play with us a little bit?"
He didn't want to, but the words couldn't form in his mouth. The tall presence by his shoulder left his mind blank. The same as what happened earlier in the morning, panic set in, but this time around the voice talking to him was not comforting. It was very hostile.
"I..." The freshman started to say but the boy whispered in his ear again.
"You don't want a secret to slip out, do you?"
"I don't know what you're talking about," He responded, choking over his words, his chest tight, breathing sharp breaths. "Quickly. Let's play quickly."
"Good decision." The boy stood up with a smile and walked onto the court.
The boys quickly circled the underclassman as he stepped onto the court, staring like a pack of hyenas at the ball in his hand. The game began and almost immediately Lyke was hit sharply with an illegal screen, knocking the wind right out of him. It was evident that this wouldn't be a game that was played fairly. They wanted to settle something, but that "something" was unknown to him.
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I got pushed into you, I'm so sorry." When the stunned boy looked up, he saw it was the same boy that had been whispering in his ear. Despite an apologetic and worried tone, a wicked, warped smile spread across his face.
Although outnumbered and out-sized, the younger boy was consistently outscoring them. Feint left, go right. He never missed a shot. The groups' brains didn't seem to be connected in their head. They were getting angrier and angrier by the minute, but there was no way out now for the young boy. No matter how much he let them score, they still had the same angry dejected looks.
Except for the tallest.
He looked angry, but it didn't seem like it was because of the game. No. His anger went above the emotions of a game. He stopped to look at the freshman.
"I thought you said you weren't good? Were you just trying to be humble, you brat? Do you think people will like you because of that?" His voice gradually grew louder and he slowly moved forwards towards the boy. "Let me tell you something. Nobody will ever like you. You are nothing. You are worthless. You don't mean anything to anyone. Find another corner and die in it."
"Jay, stop it." One of the boys on the side said, scared. The tallest had come close enough that he was now directly in the freshman boy's face. "He will never like you, so do us a favor and die. Maybe someone will notice your existence then. I wonder if anyone would cry for you. Worthless kid." He shoved the small frame backward.
Silence.
"Why the fuck are you just standing there? Are you even listening to me? Do you think you can ignore me?" He pushed the boy back again. "Do you think I'm someone you can ignore? Do you think you have the right?' His voice rose again. "Say something God dammit!"
The boy was staring at the ground, avoiding the stares of the tallest when the sound of one of the sideline chairs being picked up snapped him back to reality. The chair slammed into the boy's head and arm hard, making a sickening noise. He fell to the floor, silent. The other two boys grabbed onto the tallest, but strangely, he was no longer looking at the figure on the ground. A familiar voice from earlier that morning rang out angrily, muffled as the younger boy remained in a heap on the floor.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" He said.
"Rain, it's not what it looks like-"
"Well, then what the fuck is it, Jay? What are you trying to do here?"
"I- I didn't mean to. I just wanted to scare him a bit..."
"Is this what you call 'a bit'?" Rain was now kneeling next to the boy on the ground, his eyes pleading for him to be okay. The young boy, however, remained motionless. His eyes were peacefully closed. "What did you do Jay?" How could he do this? No. Why would he do this? Those kinds of questions consumed his mind.
"Is he okay?" Jay asked, now scared of himself, or rather, the consequences that would come if the young boy wasn't okay.
"Don't speak. I don't want to talk."
"I was just asking because I'm worried."
Rain suddenly stood up.
"He would be okay if you didn't do it. You don't have any right to be worried. If you gave a shit then you wouldn't have done it. You only care about yourself. That's why you're asking, right? When have you ever cared about anyone besides yourself."
"Rain, don't say that. You know I care."
"Do I? Do I know? Because all I've ever seen and known is a selfish, evil person. That's all you know. Please do show me you care by walking away from me right now before I kill you."
"If he didn't poke into others' business then maybe I wouldn't have. You only see me as evil. I was just trying to protect you."
"Me? From him? It's his first day, what could he have possibly done? You don't need to protect me from anyone, especially a scrawny freshman kid. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you?"
"Nothing is wrong with me. It's him, it's all him," The tall boy was in disbelief believing what he did was absolutely reasonable.
"Jay, just stop it. Leave." The boy crouched down again and propped up the younger boy in his arms. He carefully combed his hair looking for any visible injury, but there was none.
"Why are you petting him like that?" Jay asked angrily.
"Get a grip on yourself, Jay. I'm checking to see if he's hurt anywhere."
"Why do you care so much about him? You don't even know him."
"You don't either but you still attacked him?"
"No, no, no. It's not the same-"
"Jay, how is it not the same? Just because you did something to 'protect' me doesn't mean it's any different. Get out of your delusions."
"When will you see that I'm protecting you," Jay said growing increasingly agitated.
"Is it protecting or obsession? Do you think I don't know what's going on here? It's because I missed practice to sit with him, right? Or that pat on his shoulder? I think you're the one that doesn't get it. I have the right to be with whoever I want to be with and I've told you so many times that that person is not you." Hearing that, Jay looked down at the boy in Rain's arms with resentment and anger.
"Leave before I call the cops."
Jay looked up, surprised that Rain would threaten such a thing. They were supposed to be best friends after all.
The unconscious boy finally stirred, his eyes fluttering open.
"Are you okay?" Rain asked gently.
The boy nodded in response but did not say anything.
"Does anything hurt?"
"No," He finally whispered, sitting up by himself. The young boy looked at Jay and, saying nothing, stood up and quickly walked away while staggering. Rain glared at Jay and stood up, following the boy. When Rain found him again, he was nearing the exit, holding his head in his hand.
"Hey!" Rain yelled out but received no response once again. As he walked up, the boy avoided his gaze, "Are you sure you're okay? Where are you going?"
"Home. I've seen more than enough today."
"Can you make it home alright?"
"Mm. I live close."
"You should go to the hospital."
"No. I'm fine."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
The boy attempted to walk out the gate but Rain grabbed his arm, sending a shockwave of pain through his body.
"Ow. Just let me leave. Please."
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just think you should really go to the hospital. Please."
"You don't even know me. Why do you care," the boy asked before walking off cradling his arm and holding his head.
____
*Beep beep beep*
8:30
The alarm clock jolted the groggy freshman out of a dead sleep.
It was a new day, the first day of classes. His stomach was churning in excitement despite the events of the previous day. He tried to forget it by pushing the thoughts to the back of his head but the constant ringing in his ear and the pain in his head reminded him every second.
"Hey!" Olive was waiting at the front of the campus with both Sana and Lin, smiling ear to ear.
"Good morning," Lyke responded, "How are you guys?"
"Well," Lin started, "I heard a basketball player got suspended last night for attacking someone. He should have been expelled but his dad's got money."
"Will you stop that?" Sana shoved Lin roughly.
"What, it's just campus news. Whether you hear it from me or you hear it from someone else," he shrugged.
"Anyways, what times are your first classes? You should find them beforehand so you aren't late," Lyke recommended, changing the topic.
"My first class is 9:30," Said Sana.
"9 for me," replied Lin.
"Dude that's in 15 minutes."
"Oh shit, where is this?" Lin shoved his schedule in Olive's face, pointing impatiently.
She sighed loudly. "I'll walk you over but next time get here earlier, you know? Maybe not 20 minutes before so you can find it?"
"Roger," said Lin, saluting with a fake serious face.
"Okay okay, you two go. I'm going to find mine now!" Sana waved at Olive, Lin and Lyke before walking away excitedly.
"Can you find your class alright, Lyke? If I don't walk him to his class, he won't arrive, so I can't walk with you," Olive pointed, "The music department is over that way, by the sports facilities." When she turned to face Lyke again, he was holding his head, his face in obvious pain. "Are you okay Lyke? Does your head hurt?" He quickly stood straight with his hands by his side as if dismissing it.
"No, I'm okay. Thank you! You should go now, you have...." He looked at his watch, "12 minutes."
"Let's go let's go," Lin pleaded and started walking.
"Wrong way."
"Knew that."
Lyke laughed as Lin had to be guided by Olive. He looked like an excited puppy about to explode and Olive looked like the stressed owner on her last straw. After they were out of sight, Lyke placed his hand back on his head as the searing pain continued as if he had been stabbed. Pulling medicine out of his bag, he quickly swallowed it and continued to his first class.
Before he knew it, it was lunchtime. The pain hadn't stopped the entire time he was navigating the new campus and he was slowly growing more tired as time went on. He hoped lunchtime would give him time to rest but Olive, Sana, and Lin called him over.
"How did things go?" He asked impatiently.
"I hate it already," Lin said slamming his head on the table.
"You hate it because you had to actually wake up to make it to class," nagged Olive, "You didn't even get there on time to hear everything."
"He'll get used to it," Sana chimed, "I, for one, had a great time. How about you Lyke?"
"Just a bunch of talking. I don't know if I'll retain any of the information."
"Anything you do will probably be better than Lin does," Sana reassured her new friend.
"Anyways," Lin started, clearly annoyed by Sana's attack, "The guy who got suspended is in my major. Everyone was talking about it, apparently-" Olive and Sana both suddenly smacked him on the back of the head.
"What was that for?" They both stared at him with deadly gazes like they were about to skin him alive. "Ok stop looking at me, I understand," He pouted and began to eat.
Lyke rolled up his sleeve, revealing a large bruise on his forearm where he had been struck. He didn't predict that it would be there, otherwise, he would have never lifted his sleeve, just to save the worry from others.
"What's that? What happened?" Lin questioned immediately.
"Oh my god," followed Olive, "What happened to your arm? Is it broken?"
"Jesus Christ, Lyke. You need to go to the doctor for that or something," Sana topped off the questioning.
"Oh. That? I must have hit it on something. I'm clumsy," He smiled, pretending he didn't know where the concerning bruise had come from.
Olive looked the most concerned. "You don't remember how you got it?"
"It happens all the time. Don't worry about it. It's fine." His once happy demeanor was now slightly annoyed, his voice growing quiet.
Olive suddenly pulled out her phone and texted someone.
"Let me see your arm," Sana said as she pulled it closer, "There's no way you don't remember something like that happening." She reached out to feel Lyke's head. "Did you hit your head? Here, follow my finger." He attempted to follow it with his eyes but he couldn't focus. The pain in his head grew once again.
"Wow," she said putting her finger down, "you can't follow worth a shit." Lin hit her again,
"You. Can't. Talk. To. People. Like. That."
"I'm telling the truth! A fish could tell that he has a concussion! Does your head hurt? Do you feel sick? It's a dark day, but any sensitivity to light?"
"My head does hurt a little bit but I don't think the lights are too bad."
"You don't think? Alright, go to the nurse. Up! Come on." Sana stood grabbing him sending a lightning bolt of pain up his arm.
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry."
"Sit down Sana. I texted someone to come get him." Olive said.
"Who?" Lin asked first.
"God, that's the first thing you care about? I texted a friend. You'll see."
"I'm also curious who? I'm fine. I don't need to go to the nurse." Lyke asked after Lin.
"Be quiet and listen to me, Lyke. You're going whether you like it or not." He nodded.
"Ok. But anyway, spill the beans dude. What happened? You can't not remember something like that."
"I was playing basketball and I fell," He lied.
"Lyke..."
"What did he do to you?" Lin suddenly got serious as he connected the dots.
"It's already happened and done with. It's nothing to get worked up about."
"Lyke," said Olive, "it's okay to tell us. And it still matters even though it's already happened. Don't disregard it as nothing. This is serious."
"I was walking by the gym and a ball rolled up to me. I just passed it back and they asked me to play. So I did, and I started winning so one got angry and hit me. That's all."
"That's all? Do you know how hard you have to hit someone to bruise their arm like that? And give them a concussion?" Sana said, concern growing on their faces.
"Uh I guess I don't, well, I do now but I didn't before." The blinding pain suddenly intensified in the boy's head, causing him to wince and grab his head again. It was the worst it had been since the day had started.
"Lyke, are you okay?" Sana asked, panicked.
He didn't respond.
"Lyke, can you look at me? Can you hear me?
Lyke slowly looked up with both hands still on his head. His face had turned a sickly white, his body entire body shaking. He nodded.
"What's wrong?"
"It hurts," He said with a sharp breath, his voice shaking as he couldn't act like it was okay anymore.
"Rain. Over here," Olive called.
Lyke put his head down on the table as his world started spinning and tiredness consumed his body.
"Lyke?" Sana asked and shook his shoulder.
"I'm fine just a little dizzy."
"Do you need water?"
"Mhm," he responded, "I'm just tired."
"Try to stay awake." Olive got up and sat next to him.
"Can you drink?" Asked Lin.
"Mhmm," He turned his head, lifting it slightly and grabbed a water bottle from Sana's hand. Olive, with her hands on his shoulders, held him steady as he drank.
"Thank you"
"Lyke look at me," Olive asked. He turned slowly to look her in the eyes, but the image was becoming harder and harder to see. As much as the boy fought, his heavy eyes fell. He could no longer fight the fatigue begging him.
"Lyke?" His head slowly dropped as he lost consciousness.
"What's wrong?" Rain said finally walking up.
"He just passed out," Olive said now holding the unconscious boy in her arms, his head resting on her shoulder.
"Let me take him." Rain said quickly, panicked and concerned.
"I'll come with you. Just take him to the health center and tell them everything you saw."
"What do you mean saw? What did he see?" Sana's voice cracked in fear.
"Olive, why didn't you say anything? How long were you going to wait?"
"Lin now is not the time."
Rain picked Lyke up and rushed off, Olive following close behind.
--
Lyke woke up to voices quietly arguing just outside the room he was now in. When he looked over, he saw Rain sitting silently.
"How are you feeling? Do you need the lights dimmer?" Lyke only stared at him, "Do you need me to grab something? Water? Do you want them to come in?" Rain pointed to the door where the arguing was coming from. Lyke nodded.
"Lyke. How are you feeling?" Olive immediately asked upon entering the room.
"Tired."
"That's probably because of the pain meds, Buddy. They have you on quite a bit."
"Why?"
"You have a broken arm and a skull fracture." Sana looked angry but relieved, "Why would you not get help? Do you know how worried we were?"
"You can tell us." Olive's words reassured him.
"Where is he? I want him to be here too, why did he leave?" Lyke said through slurred, tired speech. His mind was unclear but one thing he knew was he wanted Rain there. He didn't know why.
"He's right outside. You want me to get him?"
"Mhm," he nodded then continued to explain what had happened.
"How are you so casual about this?" Asked Lin.
"To me, the past is the past and there's nothing that can be done to change it. What's happened happened and it only matters that it's over with," Lyke said angrily, without much thought.
Sad, puzzled expressions came across their faces.
"I'm okay. I'll live."
Rain looked the most concerned out of them all.
"He got suspended. He was able to pay his way out of expulsion and is coming back in two weeks. I'm sure he won't try anything again. I know him, he won't repeat a mistake, but even if he doesn't, it doesn't mean that someone else won't," Warned Rain. "Here's my number. When you come back, I'll make sure nobody touches you."
"Make that all of us," Olive chimed.
It was a few days until Lyke was able to go home again. The feeling of a familiar place instantly helped with the turbulence inside his mind. But as much as he told himself he was fine, the sound of Jay's voice still haunted him. His heart stopped and his breath ran out. The anger in his voice, his violent nature. "Even if he doesn't, it doesn't mean someone else won't," was repeated in his head. It felt like he was being watched.
He thought he escaped the anxiety that had been destroying him by running away months ago. He thought he could heal, but in the end, it was all just a dream, not a reality.
*Bzz*
A text from Rain.
Rain: "I was told you're home now. How are you feeling?"
Lyke: "I told you I'm completely fine. Feel like I can do anything."
Rain: "If you say so. When are you coming back?"
Lyke: "Monday."
Rain: "Are sure?"
Lyke: "Yep."
Rain: "Super sure?"
"Yessss," Lyke replied with a smile on his face. It was similar to a little kid being nagged by an older sibling.
Rain: "You should sleep. Get more rest and meet me at the front campus on Monday."
Lyke: "Why? I'm fine. I thought he wasn't going to be back for another week at that point?"
Rain: "Nothing wrong with wanting to get to know you."
"Me? Why me?" A wave of anxiety washed over Lyke as he thought about Jay's words.
"I don't know. I just want to know you more." Rain responded but Lyke didn't say anything back. He only thought about what Rain's true intentions were, because if nobody would ever like him, what exactly did Rain want? To him, he could only imagine that there was an ulterior motive. Like an animal being targeted, he felt the eyes of people he didn't know and couldn't see waiting for the moment to break him again.
Monday morning, he was again met by Olive, Lin, and Sana. Rain stood, waiting with them.
"Good morning! How are you feeling? Anything hurt?" Olive rapidly fired questions as soon as Lyke arrived.
"I told you, I'm fine. I have an early class so I have to get going. See you guys at lunch?"
They shook their heads in agreement. He then looked at Rain who was standing nervously to the side, purposefully staying out of the way.
"Oh yeah," Olive smiled slyly, "You and Rain are headed the same way. Why don't you go together?" Rain looked at Lyke who was staring back.
"Oh, uh, I don't have to if you don't want to. Just say so and I'll leave."
"I'm sorry," Lyke said, feeling guilty for dismissing Rain again but he only smiled back and nodded his head.
"Can I join you guys for lunch, then?" He asked.
"Maybe..." Olive started to respond but stopped to look at Lyke. He thought for a minute and then nodded. Rain smiled.
"See you at lunch then," he said then walked away towards the sports facility for his morning practice.
"Do you know who he is?" Lin said, astonished.
"Rain? Isn't he a basketball player?"
"He's not just a basketball player, he's the university's star. People would kill to walk next to him. Why act so cold? He's the most popular guy here! Why'd you tell him to leave? And he listened! Why'd he listen to you...?"
"Lin," Olive hit him on the back of the head, "Why are you so nosy? You are in people's business. You need to leave before someone hits you harder than I do." He sulked but nodded.
"Off to classes, chop-chop. See you all at lunch."
They split up, heading off to their respective buildings and joining up again at lunchtime.
Rain sat far from Lyke as expected, still scared of overstepping boundaries. After Lyke ignored his attempt at getting to know him, he was very careful with what he did so that he didn't scare him off completely. That was a first. The first time he was scared that someone wouldn't like him, or approve of him. And it was all over a freshman he'd met a week ago.
"So what clubs are you guys joining? Oh yeah, Didn't Sana and Lyke go to the cooking club? How's that going?" Olive started.
"Only I got in. She said there was only one spot so Lyke let me have it," Sana explained.
"Then what are you going to do Lyke?" Olive asked.
"I haven't really thought of it. I didn't think the cooking club would have so many members that they ran out of space. I really like Volleyball, so I might do that. After I heal... I guess. I'll find something I can do."
"What exactly did she say?" Said Olive.
"She was excited when she heard us approaching but when she looked up she looked annoyed. She emphasized that only one of us could join and then pushed the papers into Sana's hands. So I left and wandered into the gym." Lyke explained.
"As far as I remember, the cooking club is actually in dire need of more people. It doesn't make sense she would say that." Olive looked to Lyke then glanced at Rain, briefly meeting his eyes.
"I don't know why she would do that either. I can talk to her if you would like." Rain offered.
"I don't want to impose. She seemed to be disgusted with me. I'd rather not be in a situation like that."
"You aren't imposing. I know her well. I'll talk to her."
"Lin, what about you?" Lyke asked, drawing the topic away from himself.
"Tennis, of course. I'm pretty good at it," he said as he flexed his muscles.
"Oh..."
"Ohhhh..." Sana and Olive could barely contain their laughter.
"Is that why you got kicked off the team in high school? What happened to the various Tennis balls that you hit through windows? The one you HIT A DOG WITH?" Sana was ready to drag him through the mud as if she had been lying in wait for the perfect moment.
"I did not hit that dog on purpose. It ran in front of ME," Lin responded, pride hurt but not gone.
"Lin," Olive said gently, "it was a Pomeranian. It was behind you. How did you manage to fail so bad the ball went BACKWARDS and hit the smallest target?" Lins's pride dissipated.
"Dude, a Pomeranian?" Everyone at the table started laughing as Lin frantically tried to redeem himself.
---
-Back at home-
*bzzz*
Lyke got a text from Rain.
Rain: "Hey. I talked to Nicky. She said she would accept you into the club, she just was in a bad mood that day. I apologize for her taking it out on you. Tell me if she tries anything else though."
Lyke: "How do you know her? Are you sure I'm allowed? I don't want to feel like I'm forcing myself into a place I am not wanted."
Rain: "We dated for a while. She can be... difficult, but once you meet her, I'm sure your perspective will change."
Lyke: "Why would you go out of your way to talk to her? I could have found another club."
Rain: "Well you wanted to be in the cooking club, right? There is also only so much you can do right now."
Lyke: "Yeah... I guess I can't get past the feeling that I'm imposing."
Rain: "You will be okay. The club meeting starts at 3 tomorrow. You should get to bed. Good night."
"Good night," Lyke replied. His phone buzzed again.
It was a number he didn't know.
When he opened the message, there were two pictures: one of the first day when Rain placed his hand on Lyke's shoulder and one of Rain carrying him to the health center.
"He will never love you"
He remembered the various things the boy had said in the gym that night.
Right. He said the same thing.
"He will never love you"
But as far as Lyke knew, not even he loved himself, let alone another person. He simply turned off his phone and made sure to lock every window and door in his place.
The days came and went, anxiety increasing as they passed. Before he knew it, the two weeks were almost up. No matter how many times he was assured that Jay wouldn't do anything once he was back, Lyke dreaded Tuesday morning when he'd see him again.
It was only Friday night though, he had time to prepare himself.
He thought he did.
The random number continued to text him;
"You better stay away from him or I will make your life hell."
"Tuesday is coming, better not see you near him again. I'm not afraid to finish what I started."
"Not responding? Still think you're better?"
"If you tell a soul, I will become your worst nightmare. Nothing you can even imagine."
It was obvious who it was.
Rain said he wouldn't do anything else, but he showed no sign of stopping.
The clicking of clockwork filled Lyke's head as he lay still in thought. He had been a student on campus for barely two weeks yet there were already several instances of attacks against him. It was as if his simple presence was a nuisance to everyone around him. But he was so used to that feeling it barely bothered him. What bothered him was the fact he rarely gave his number to anyone, yet the random number had gotten his. He had only given it to Rain.
"Did you give my number to anyone, Rain?" He quickly texted.
"I gave it to Nicky so she could contact you about the club. Why? Did she say something?"
"No," he responded, "in the future, don't go giving my number to anyone who asks for it. Please."
"I'm sorry, I didn't really think about it since I know her. I thought it would be okay."
"You know her? Well, I don't. You don't know who she knows or what she'll do with it. You don't know everything, okay?" Lyke paused after sending the message.
"I'm sorry," He sent after. It wasn't his intention to be mean.
"Why are you saying sorry? I promise that she will not give your number to anyone. I'm really sorry. I wasn't thinking and that's my fault. Try to get some sleep for now."
Lykes heart raced at the real chance she knew "him", because if they knew each other, "he" could find Lyke at any time. He wouldn't be "safe" anymore.
---
The weekend came and went.
Pressure left Lyke exhausted, mentally, emotionally, and physically, not even having the energy to think about Monday. The threatening messages. Whether "he" would come back.
He thought if he ignored it, telling himself nothing was real, he could slowly believe it and be okay. Even if it was a delusion, even if it was far from okay.
He woke up on Monday tired even though he had slept for the majority of the weekend.
Rain stood with Olive, Sana, and Lin as Lyke arrived at the front of campus, but he quickly walked away and toward his class, avoiding them altogether. Olive yelled for him, but nobody chased after and he didn't look back to check. During the weekend he made the decision to avoid Rain, but if Rain was with them, then all he could do was avoid the lot collectively. Although he hated the thought, but if it stopped the harassment then he didn't have to think twice about what he would do. There was no room for any other thought.
When lunch rolled around, Sana, Lin, and Olive sat at a table without Rain.
"Hey. Can I sit?" Lyke asked, walking up to them.
"Yes, of course, you can sit," Olive paused as Lyke removed his bag and sat in the seat next to her. "Why are you acting so strange today? Why did you run off this morning? You didn't even say hi. Is something wrong?" She looked worried.
"I had a super early class today, I'm sorry for not saying hi, I was in a rush. You know?" He replied quickly.
"But you never have that class so early."
"Times change sometimes. Don't worry about it."
"Anyways," started Sana, "are you coming to cooking today? We're making cookies! Everyone misses you, you should come!"
"People actually want me there?"
"Of course. You're the best baker we have. Everyone adores you. You have good energy." Said Sana.
"No-" Lyke got cut off.
"She's not wrong; There's something about you that just makes people want to smile." Rain walked up behind Lin, smiling at Lyke.
"Hey Rain!" Olive said. Rain's gaze was quickly avoided, Lykes eyes wandering to his plate.
"Are you ok Lyke?" Sana asked.
"Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay. I'm going to go to the bathroom then head off to class. I'll see you at cooking later?" He said.
"I'll see..." Sana trailed off as Lyke got up, swiftly walking away.
"What's wrong with him today? Rain, do you know?"
"No. I have no clue. But I think it's because of Nicky."
"Nicky? Why would you think that."
"Because he asked me if I gave his number to anyone. The only person I gave it to was Nicky, for the club. I don't know why he would ask out of the blue like that unless he got a weird text or call or something. He also said "Anyone". He didn't know it was Nicky I gave it to. You think if she texted him with good intentions she would make it clear who she was?"
-
When Lyke returned to the cooking club he was surprised by the amount of people who had been waiting for him. He'd never thought anyone could want to be in his presence, but the small group that made up the cooking club proved him wrong. They made him feel human after years of feeling the opposite.
Except Nicky.
While she pretended to be nice, the messages rolled through his head, a constant reminder of what she truly was like. Every smile and every word she spoke seemed hostile. She was a loving leader teaching her new club members, but nobody knew what he knew.
"Lyke"
The club meeting had ended with the last cookie being handed out to those leaving. Rain stood outside waiting for Lyke to finish, curious if there was any reason why he had been acting so strange, but Lyke ignored him without even looking his way when he stepped out of the room.
"Lyke?" He called again.
Lyke kept walking.
"Lyke?" Sana finally grabbed Lykes hand. "Rain just called for you twice," She seemed confused. "Why won't you answer? Are you feeling okay? Does your head hurt again?"
Lyke smiled. "I'm fine. I'm just tired. I'll text Rain later and see what he wants. For now, I just want to go home," he responded softly.
Rain didn't call for Lyke again. He was hurt. It was the first time he'd been ignored like that, which in itself was shocking to him, but because it was Lyke, it strangely felt even worse.
___
"All he does is talk about you. Why are you so special?"
That was the first text on his phone after going home that night.
"I stayed away from him all day. I did all I could but he was just always there." Lyke responded to the number. Even if he had made an attempt to stay away from Rain, it was still his fault Rain chased after him. In the end, it would always be his fault, that was the reality.
"Leave me alone. I hate you and I want nothing to do with you." The unknown number responded.
"What?"
"Send that to him. Send it to him now."
Deep down, he didn't want to. He didn't even want to avoid Rain in the first place. Yes, in the beginning, he wanted nothing to do with him, but now? Rain was a good friend to him. He was considerate. He didn't push boundaries. That was something nobody else had ever cared about before. But then again the fear was overbearing.
What would happen if he didn't listen?
Were the threats as empty as he thought?
"Ok," he responded. In the end, he was but a selfish person. Rather lose a friendship than be hurt because of it.
All he had to do was send a text.
He sat staring at my phone screen, Rains messages displayed in front of him.
Do it.