Chapter 154: Greetings and Headbutt Beatings

Ares had heard enough about Edgerton from his brother and mother to have a rough idea about the guy but this was his first time actually meeting him. He was actually quite surprised he even showed up for a shindig like this as Ares took him for the kinda guy that would rather be performing over in Musicians Wanted. Still, a guest was a guest... Although if this guy told Ares his favourite dish was 'cigarettes' he was getting kicked out of the house! Then again he couldn't be much worse than his brother, the spiritual lyrical miracle individual with a habitual syllable rhyming ritual.

"Ares! Going even a day without seeing my muse's magic is a fate most tragic!"

"Yep, there it is..." Ares just shook his head and welcomed the predictable penman into his house. "And you must be his brother, Edgerton. Can't say I envy you having lived with this guy all your life. I can only imagine what it must have been like having bed time stories read to you when you were children only for this whacko to bust out the literary analysis on why humpty dumpty could be read as allegory for an incompetent modern society."

"You're joking but he did something similar once." Edgerton shuddered as he recalled an incident from a while back. "He actually critiqued our mother's ability to recount a story. Told her she wasn't a 'raconteur' and that her 'emphasis on certain story beats was lacking'. Can you believe it? This guy was somehow more pompous as a kid than he is now... Guess growing up around critics who done the same to him in kind set him straight, thank God. Could you imagine current Eagerton but worse?"

"Oh please..." Eagerton butt into the conversation as he wasn't going to take this ribbing lying down. "It's no secret that mother's never been one for eloquent elaboration or expert narrative navigation."

"Yep, there's that infernal rhyming again." Ares was this close to smacking Eagerton to see if maybe he could accidentally hit a reset button or something. This record was broken! It just kept repeating the same literary techniques over and over again! And what? Ares was just supposed to stop noticing and not bring it up?! Ah whatever, Ares had better things to do than sit here and mince words with this cursed wordsmith who composed in cursive!... Ah shit, now he'd caught the literary bug too... "Tsk, Eagerton get in already and stop being a nuisance."

"What did I do?" Eagerton looked taken aback, and rightfully so! He really hadn't done anything but, as was common with this man, his mere presence had warped Ares' brain and driven him to cross his eyes and dot his t's.

"I'll tell you what you didn't do! Get inside!" Ares pushed Eagerton in and gestured for Edgerton to follow. Ares was about to close the door but he suddenly stopped halfway through and poked his head out with a 'gotcha!' look on his face. He knew this song and dance like the back of his hand after last time! This wasn't gonna go down the same way, nuh uh. He wasn't going to close the door only for someone to show up literally seconds after! Haha, and would you look at that?! There was Scar, dragging an unwilling Venus to the front of his house! Ares: 1, Universe: 0! Unless you were counting last time, in which case the score was most definitely not in Ares' favour...

"Venus..." Ares could hear the tiredness in Scar's voice and before the man even finished his next sentence Ares could guess why..." ... They were about to call the guards on you. No matter how you look at it, a person hovering by the side of a group of playing children while drooling over herself is nothing but a creep. Besides, I already told you what we we're doing today and it's non-negotiable so stop resisting. Look, there's Ares. He might even have a gift for you depending on how yesterday went. If you really must chase little boys around town then do it tomorrow. One day off your perverse pursuits will not be the end of the world."

"Tsk. Just when I discover a prime shota hunting spot... Curse you elder brother, curse you! We have the rest of our lives to get to know each other! Shotas are not immortal! Their youth burns bright but not for long. What a tragedy... I will make it my mission to find a means of reverse aging! Be it art or treasure I will return all men to their rightful state! No scraggly beards, no bulky muscles, no deep voices, none of it! Ares!" Venus escaped from Scar's grasp and dashed up to the door. She had a tinge of hope in her eyes so he decided to give his sister the good, but also highly questionable, news.

"I do in fact have a piece of Phobos' clothing. Bribing you with it to attend my banquet feels weird but if this is what it takes so be it." Ares brought out the article in question, Phobos' belt, and handed it over to a squealing Venus who rubbed the belt against her face repeatedly. She breathed in the scent of leather with an intoxicated expression.

"Ohhhhh. I hope I get to spank him with this one day... Until then, I'll just have to do it to myself... Alright Ares, good job! I officially consider you a brother of mine! You have completed your task admirably and produced a result I am very pleased with! If you seek more of my praise then, by all means, keep bringing me offerings such as these!"

Do I regret doing this? I think I do? Maybe a little? Maybe a lot? maybe Phobos is better with Palioxis after all? Ah whatever, these lunatics can sort it all out themselves. I've done my part on both ends and my involvement with this garbage love triangle ends here. Besides, I'm way more interested in my brother's love triangle in the back garden! "Yes yes you mad woman. Get in the house and go take a seat. I even reserved the chair Phobos sat on for you... Although really I probably shouldn't have. Enabling you can't possibly be a good idea but you're my sister so I feel a compulsion to... Anyway, as long as you don't try and set up hidden cameras to catch Phobos with in my house, feel free to feel at home."

"... Damn, how did you know I had cameras on me?"

"You do?! Alright, that's it! Hand 'em over! You ain't getting 'em back until you leave!"

"Tsk, spoilsport... But all the images on them are mine, you hear me? Mine!"

"Oh don;t you worry about that Venus, I have zero intention of seeing whatever un-Godly pictures and videos you have on these things! I would sooner bleach my eyes!" Ares confiscated his sister's spying apparatus before giving her a once over with Omniscience to make sure she wasn't using magic or a spatial ring to hide anymore. When he felt content he let her in and turned to Scar. "Hey. Thanks for going to the trouble of rounding up Venus. I can't imagine doing it doesn't get tiring after a while. I don't envy being the responsible one in this family."

"Oh it's not so bad, really. Venus is the only really difficult one and even then it's just a matter of finding her. Skyzo is well behaved and Verv only requires a beating to calm down. Fate is the biggest concern but with all the treasures on her she manages even without us there to lend a helping hand... Actually, if anything, keeping Calla and Aster in check is the real struggle. Calla less so because although she has a vicious and malign streak in her she's usually serious when it counts. Aster on the other hand... Unless he's mad, don't expect him to be wearing anything other than a goofy smile on his face at all times."

"So he's a real free spirited wild child?"

"Essentially, yes. He's also a bit of an idiot... In a weirdly clever way? I can't really explain it... Perhaps an example would be easier to understand. He once allowed spectators to make a bet on who would win his training spar against me. He made himself the bookie, though, and made it so that the odds on his end were negative. In other words, if you bet on him and won you would owe him more money... Obviously there's no chance in hell I could beat my father which meant that no matter who you bet on you would walk away with less money than you came along with. Of course all the stardust went to him to and I never saw even a single low grade despite being paraded around like a ragdoll after he whooped my ass. Amazingly enough he actually made decent money off his stupid betting scheme because a lot of our people just didn't read the damn odds. They saw Aster was fighting and just placed a bet on him without thinking about how convenient it all was...

Look, no one ever said revenants weren't occasionally very stupid... And the people on our home planet... They aren't all the brightest tools in the shed exactly. They have hearts of gold, don't get me wrong, it's just that I don't think some of them could even point to the location of their hearts if they were asked too... Not everyone is like this, mind you, but there's more than a few who are. As we're so busy with war, teaching our young is kinda of a hassle. We believe time is the greatest teacher and they'll learn everything eventually even if it has to be the hard way. Still, the higher you are in the revenant pecking order the better access you have to education. It's not unfair because it's primarily based on strength and not connections. Of course the parents themselves can also educate their children if they have the knowledge to do so. Long story short, until the war is over, we aren't necessarily going to be raising the brightest tools in the shed. Really, that's actually our biggest problem. That and the fact we have to keep birth-rates down as we're impossible to cull. Again, the lower you are in the hierarchy the less you're allowed to expand your family during war time because it's too many mouths to feed. We don't need more infantry because we technically have infinite. If we were allowed to live on other planets it wouldn't be such a big deal and we might ease the birthing restrictions... But you can imagine what would happen to a revenant that tried to go live on the Legion planet?..."

"Interesting. I mean I thought I was stupid but it turns out there's a whole 'nother barrel underneath the bottom of the barrel where I reside... A planet full of dumb pooches huh... I'd like to get a look at some point but I'll save that for when I ascend to Vraizon after I reach transition. I could probably fly up there now with Voidwalk and get used to the feeling of a new domain in a week or so but that's jumping the gun I feel. Also the further away I stay from Major for now, the better. Well there's no need to talk about this stuff now anyway, make yourself at home and, by all means, dig through the fridge if you're hungry or thirsty. I would pour you drinks myself but there's a real riot going in the back garden and I can't miss it for the world... If it hasn't already ended that is..."

"Alright, I'll do just that then. Also, thank you for getting something for Venus. She would have been incredibly moody throughout the rest of the banquet if she got nothing in return for being here... Don't take that personally though, she means well and would never berate you for it."

"Well it's fine either way. She got what she wanted today and it's today that matters. Not to say we can't do this again in the future but I imagine you'll all be leaving the country after the tournament right? Who knows when we'll have a chance to meet again."

"Mhm, although I believe every one has different intentions. It's pretty unanimous that we'll all be going our separate ways and travelling to different countries and lands but we haven't decided on where yet. There's plenty of cultivation opportunities out there and none of us are slouches in that department... Although Venus does take a while to get going as she prioritises places young boys are likely to show up... Still, there's a none zero chance you'll bump into us here and there if you plan on doing a bit of travelling yourself. If you see us out in the wild don't be a stranger."

"Naturally." Ares let his brother in and turned back to look outside the front door. It was getting a little late and so the chances of the last two arriving soon were high. Ares didn't even need to bait fate anymore by pretending to close the door! Or so he hoped. If Ares looked beyond the door and there was no one there he might cry a little on the inside...

THWACK

"OW! Son of a bitch! What the?..." Struck by an unknown foe, unknown because the strike in question was a point blank headbutt and Ares didn't have time to check the other person's facial features, Ares was taken by a surprise and very nearly cast a Grand Annihilation in retaliation.

"BROTHER! I CRAVE VIOLENCE!"

"Tsk..." Ares kissed his teeth and glared at Verv. This asshole could have at least made his demands up front before forcing them on him! Who goes around attacking defenceless people? Better yet, defenceless people kind enough to let you into their house! This bastard needed to be taught a lesson! Ares enhanced his head with pressure, and even managed to slip some annihilation in as reducing the overall area Ares needed to focus on made it easier to accomplish this, and returned his brother's stupid greeting. "BROTHER! I SHALL GIVE YOU MORE VIOLENCE THAN YOU CAN HANDLE!"

TTTTTTTTTHHHHHWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKK

Verv stumbled backwards in a daze as blood burst out of every orifice on his face. His head was spinning, figuratively and literally, but still Ares could hear him chuckling in satisfaction beneath the occasional wail of pain. It was as though he couldn't decide if he was hurt or happy to be hurt and either could take precedence at any given moment. More than anything, Ares was just glad to see his rebuttal had calmed this aggressive dog down a bit. Verv was much more tolerable when he was docile, that was for sure... Also, this guy took the headbutt like a champ! If he were a normal cultivator that attack would have knocked him out flat on the ground! Ares had felt comfortable going a bit overboard because he'd heard that Verv was a tough nut-case to crack. Soaking up punishment, and sleeping it all off, was a specialty of his so Ares had let loose a little. Was using his brother as a punching bag morally correct? well it was about as morally correct as the way Verv greeted him so it evened out!

"HAHAHA! GOOD ONE BROTHER! IT'S BEEN A MINUTE SINCE I FELT SUCH WONDERFUL PAIN!"

"Uh, I'm glad? You're welcome? Sorry I've never had to talk to a person as... Unique... As you before so I don't quite know where to take this conversation... Anyway, no fighting inside the house. If you really have to scrap then do it outside."

"No worries Ares! I promised Scar I wouldn't try and beat anyone up today! He rarely makes me promise like this so I'll be good and not cause a scene! My little buddy here will help me keep calm and I won't ignore him." Verv held aloft the mini lantern dangling around his neck. As if on cue the firefly did a little dance before returning to the lantern and shining brightly.

"You seem to get along well with that see-through firefly."

"Oh yeah, she's a great little friend. Helped me out this one time I got lost in a cave. Apparently I was the strongest thing in there so it chose me to hang onto. I don't really 'member much about what was in the cave. Definitely left it with a lot of monster blood on me though, I remember that part. Must have gone wild in there and had a free for all with the other creatures. Shame I can't remember it... That's why I like fighting you know? 'Cos I don't usually remember any of it! I want to but can't, so I try again and again. Always forget though, and it hella sucks! Fighting looks like so much fun but I never get to do it and remember it... I gotta live in the moment, gotta feel the thrill then and there, gotta let the adrenaline rush flow through me to make the bestest memories I can! Maybe one day I'll get to remember it all too... Maybe... Maybe today? WANNA FIGHT BROTHER?!"

"What happened to no fighting today?! Look at the firefly again damnit, the firefly!" Ares pointed at the lantern over and over until Verv got the message. He quickly deflated and looked a little tired so Ares just ushered him into the building and secretly prayed Scar would keep this guy in check. Ares felt a bit guilty dumping Verv on Scar like this but, today at least, Ares just didn't wanna deal with the guy. Maybe if he was anywhere else other than literally inside Ares' home would Ares be willing to tolerate his mood switches. If he let Verv's manic bipolar attitude go wild here his home was at risk of being torn to shreds so that was a no go! Scar was well versed in handling Verv so Ares would damn well make use of that!

And that left one! Actually, it was somewhat surprising that Skyzo wasn't already here. He didn't seem like the kind to rock up late to a party... Actually he didn't seem like the type to rock up to one at all... Still, today was different so he would likely be showing up. Well while Ares was thinking this Skyzo did in fact show up... He literally walked right past Ares like a ghost! No words, no waving hand, not even a nod in his direction! This man very nearly got by Ares completely undetected and it didn't seem like he was even trying to. Either Ares was really lost in thought or his brother was way too good at being an assassin and Ares had no idea which was the case. "Ah, Skyzo, just in time... So..." Ares smirked at he took a shot in the dark. "... How was the time you just spent with Pele?"

"... Hmm, you aren't as dumb as our father. It would seem you have a functioning brain up there even if you pretend not to use it..." Skyzo muttered under his breath. "I was with Pele, yes... And admittedly I probably would have stayed had she not hurried me along and demanded I come here instead. Apologies."

"No no, that's quite alright. Don't let me get in the way of your requited love. I know how important a good relationship is. If anything are you sure you don't want to go back?"

"That's quite alright. I fear Pele might explode on me and go mental if I disobey her... She is a frightening woman sometimes."

"I see. You could always leave a bit early though. As long as you showed up for a while I'm sure she'd be willing to let it slide... Actually, wasn't she busy today?"

"She is, and that's why I will not be leaving early because it doesn't really matter. She won't be hanging around anymore anyway, unfortunately. Besides, I'm looking forward to dinner tonight. It's been a while since I've had my personal favourite dish as none of us siblings are really any good at cooking. We got by on our own but really only barely. We ate out most of the time and any attempts at home cooked food went... Poorly, to put it lightly."

"Oh? Who was the cook back home? I don't mean this in a negative way but, based on what I've heard of Aster, he definitely doesn't have the makings of a chef... And I can't see Calla doing particularly great in the kitchen either..."

"Calla is unusually good at making hot chocolate and nothing else. Also yes, Aster in the kitchen is a nightmare best not relived or remembered. To this day I still don't know what he was attempting but, whatever it was, I vividly recall our soup arriving before us frozen. I dared not ask what bizarre concoction his indecipherable brain was trying to whip up. Luckily our clan has a fair few talented chefs, one in particular that works exclusively for the head of the clan and has done his entire life. He has a degree of prestige to his name and he's extraordinarily talented. I'm guessing you'd like to meet him?"

"Took the words right outta my mouth. I make it a habit of stealing culinary knowledge from everyone with even a speck of talent to learn from. The more they have the better as far as I'm concerned. Anyway, come in and get comfortable. The food's nearly ready so I'll start doling it out the second I finish up eavesdropping on my brother in the back garden."

"Calla did mention something about a non-blood related brother. I'm guessing it's that guy that was at the party? The one you stood up for? I also hear he's an assassin like me. I'm interested in meeting him and seeing what he can do."

"Uh, I wouldn't ask for a first hand demonstration if I were you... Unless you don't have anything valuable on you that you wouldn't be adverse to losing. He somehow managed to steal from Serene the other day so, don't take this the wrong way, but I don't think anyone stands a chance against that kleptomaniac's thievery."

"Well now I'm even more curious. Assassins aren't altogether too common in the cultivation world. Most people tend not to become one even if they have the skillset because it can be quite anxiety inducing. Trying to sneak around without being caught can be a real hassle when you're starting out, it's way easier to be the target than the killer 'cos you don't have to worry about jack shit. It's partly why I gave up on that approach entirely. It's so much more relaxing to walk up to the person you want dead and just kill them without a fuss."

"Is that even classified as 'assassination'? Doesn't seem like you're really embodying the spirit..."

Skyzo shrugged. "I dunno about that. My targets never seem to see it coming. It's such a ridiculous idea that most people tend to do a double take by which point they're already dead or about to be. Ah but don't get me wrong, I'll usually sneak around at least a little before I do the whole murdering thing. I wouldn't get very far past the security if I just tried to waltz right past them. Not that I couldn't kill them too, it's just that by the time I'm done the main target would have already escaped. It's more like I get to my target stealthily then go as loud as I possibly can. I even carry a flare gun in case the fight drags on but the guards are deaf or something. Ironically, my targets have a better chance of fending me off if their bodyguards don't come to their aid thanks to the way my magic works."

"You get stronger the more people you have looking at you, right? Is there an upper limit?"

"Yeah but it increases the more my cultivation does. As does the amount of power I get per individual. I spend more time working on my clone magic though, it's more valuable in case I get stranded in a one on one.... Which is a weird thing for an assassin to complain about, I know, but that's just how I operate. Anyway, the more clones I can make of my opponent, and the weaker I can make the clones to prevent them from meaningfully interfering, the better. Currently, each clone is roughly 70% as strong as the main target but I know I can lower it. I'm also working on an anti-magic art that prevents all clones in a large radius from using mana. Because of how specific the art is it's going to be particularly effective when I finally create it. The only problem is that I'm not really sure where to go from there. I can improve the arts but I've no idea what to do for new ones which is why I'm interested in that brother of yours... Or I guess ours now. I'm curious if he has any suggestions on how to improve at my trade."

"Uh, I don't necessarily know if he's the best or the worst candidate for what it is you want. He's not exactly a 'by-the-book' assassin himself. On one hand he rarely has any good ideas, but on the other he's incredibly vain so if it's ideas on how to gather attention that you want then he's your guy alright. Tell you what, why not come to the garden with me now? I can introduce you to him personally and have him spit out an idea or two. It would do him some good to have an excuse to leave his current predicament so I'm sure he'd be over the moon to talk to you."

Skyzo bowed his head before entering the house. "Then I thank you in advance."

"And I apologise in advance. No, seriously, make sure to keep checking your spatial rings..."