Chapter 428: Roadkill

The as-of-yet un-named eagle swooped down low, gliding across the sands and attempting to lay low for as long as possible during its approach towards the caravan. If it was spotted the trio would get into gear and flee immediately so it was really trying its hardest to remain undetected as it barrel rolled through dunes like they were slalom gates. Ares had a plan B, which was honestly more of a plan A than anything, but the eagle still wanted to succeed regardless if for no other reason than to be smug about it to Ares afterwards. Every success meant more bargaining power in the name war, after all! Unfortunately, however, there was an empty stretch up ahead that the eagle couldn't possibly avoid so whether it could fly over to the caravan before it drove off was entirely out of its control. It could either make a mad dash to the caravan and pray that worked or try to act natural, like a normal desert monster, and again pray for the best. If doing the latter, it might take Ronnie a second to notice the fact that the eagle was red from head to toe and entirely unnatural as it slyly drew closer but the bird had a gut feeling this guy was a worrywart and would immediately wake up his comrades over any little spook. It was for the best if the eagle just charted a straight course and blitzed in a straight line, opting to hunt them down the good ol' fashioned way. As such, it rounded one last pile of sand and made a break for it! The caravan was in sight but, now, so too was the eagle and, as was predicted, the lookout Ronnie spotted him pretty quickly. The eagle blended in somewhat thanks to the lack of light but it was still a fast moving target approaching in an unnatural way. Nobody would ever see the eagle divebombing them, after creeping up on them, and think it was some random monster attack because it simply looked far too well co-ordinated to eb the result of a single monster's own machinations. It was unsurprising, then, that the caravan's lights lit up and it started chugging along and picking up speed in a bid to flee. The caravan's top speed was likely higher than that of the eagle's so from now on it was a contest to see whether it could reach the caravan before it was too late or not.

Whoosh

A Fireball flew past the eagle's head, barely missing it and sailing off into the night sky. Ronnie was apparently trying to prevent the eagle from closing in and it seemed this trio was being incredibly cautious. Still, they were right to act this way and they couldn't be blamed for finding this situation strange. A never before seen type of eagle eagle dedicating this much effort to closing the gap between them all by its lonesome in the dead of night? Even if this wasn't a human machination it was strange enough to warrant running away from! As for Ronnie's attack, much like what the guard earlier said, it really did come from an unusual angle. The eagle almost missed it entirely because it came at it from below it, almost like the desert itself was spitting out the Fireball. The eagle realised its job wasn't going to be easy, cursed Ares inwardly, but redoubled its efforts and kept an eye out for any funny business regarding mana in the air. Generating magic from remote locations wasn't a common ability but the tells were the same as normal arts in that mana had to gather first. Remote generation of magic only really became a scary ability if you could mask that particular aspect of it so the Fireball currently forming behind the eagle was dastardly but also very much possible to avoid now that the eagle was aware of the potential threat. The eagle veered slightly left and rotated to allow the fireball to fly harmlessly past it without dropping any speed. The eagle was determined to make its mark here so, when a flurry of five Fireballs began spawning all around it, rather than fly up in the air to dodge safely, it kept bullishly charging forward with no fear whatsoever as it was feeling a little cocky. Some daring-do never hurt anybody and the eagle was rapidly becoming a mini ego-maniac so trying to pull of a stunt like the one it was about to was right in its wheelhouse!... Maybe Eagle Knievel was a good name after all?

The first Fireball looked as though it were about to pierce the eagle's wing but a quick dive underneath it prevented that from happening with room to spare. The following two fireballs were a one-two punch as they came spiralling in from the sides, making it impossible to dodge left or right as well as up or down thanks to the rotation of the magic being able to catch the eagle if it tried. This looked to be the end of the road but the nothingness variant of the eagle had a trick up its sleeve. Yes its main purpose was to swap places with Ares but it could also use Shift! It could only do it once, and it wasn't a particularly impressive distance it covered, but a small boost forward was more than enough right now and it was going to save the day regardless of how powerful it was or wasn't. The two Fireballs bashed into one another but the bird they were looking to sandwich between them was long gone, and not in the mood to be roasted, so it left the fiery blaze behind and continued onward. The last two Fireballs once more came spiralling at the eagle at the same time but the eagle was looking confident as it decided to race the two magics chasing his tail feathers. It was looking mighty close, as the magics were inching ever closer to burning up the eagle's rear by nipping at its heels, but it managed to speed ahead and outlast the Fireballs' pursuit as they crashed and burned into a small bonfire in the middle of the dessert after eating the eagle's dust. There had been no fancy manoeuvres on this one, the eagle had just outperformed and outraced his aerial foes and blazed a trail faster than they could. No theatrics, no clever tricks, just sheer speed and force of will as the three entities glided over the sands with the wind as their backs! The weaker fire magic couldn't hack it but the nothingness bird was still raring to go and hunt down the trio and their caravan.

The eagle was in the home stretch now and Ronnie was getting more anxious about failing to snipe it with his magic to remove the threat from the trio's tail but another issue had just appeared in front of the caravan and his attention was now divided! Ares' 'plan B' was to position himself directly opposite where the eagle came flying in from so that when the trio set off in their retreat they would actually just be advancing straight towards him! Ares had left the eagle to hover in place while he spent about ten minutes crouching between the sand dunes around the outer rim of the trio's vision until he circled around them and put them unknowingly in a pincer. They were so quick to react to the incoming threat they didn't consider they were actually being corralled by the eagle and not chased! In this way, it didn't really matter if the eagle caught up or not because Ares was waiting patiently for the trio to quite literally drive into him and deliver themselves ona silver platter right to his doorstep.

Ares was standing ahead of the caravan's path, menacingly, without moving an inch. A a glance, it actually looked like he was a random civilian, lost and about to be run over, but the driver, the passenger, and the lookout could all tell that was the last thing that was going to happen here. Regardless of his relatively low cultivation base, he'd orchestrated this entire trap perfectly so he was a concerning foe to fight against. Even if Ares was 'lacking in power', he'd make up for it with cunning schemes like this so he wouldn't dare pick this fight if he didn't have something up his sleeve, be it deceptive amounts of power or leverage over the trio in terms of manipulation and clever plots. The trio didn't know who Ares was but they were talented cultivators who knew better than to underestimate a foe who was showing they meant business and was going to this extent just to corner them... Rather, if his cultivation was this low and he was actively looking to pick a fight with them specifically it was actually a rather worrying sign that he'd done his research and wanted something specific from them! Although Ares was acting rather strange... Ignoring the bird behind them, and whatever it was trying to accomplish for a minute, Ares was really just standing there doing absolutely zilch. There were no signs he was about to try and force the trio to crash which was the expected course of action from their perspective. It was to be assumed he would try and summon a wall of magic, or something similar, to bring the trio to a halt but, again, none of this was happening and it almost looked like he wasn't planning on using magic at all! He was actually about to be run over at this rate! Better yet, why was he now stretching his legs like he was about to go for a sprint? Nothing about his actions made a lick of sense but the driver behind the wheel, Bonnie, knew what needed to be done in this situation...

Floor it!

The caravan was already nearly travelling at max speed and so there was one of two options. Slow down a bit and let the eagle catch up or keep speeding up and go head to head with this random guy standing around in the middle of the desert. The trio had come to an agreement, Ares could see them yelling at one another to decide on their course of action, and had chosen the latter. Unfortunately for the eagle this meant that he was unlikely to catch up despite his best efforts. Still, Ares wasn't fussed as he activated annihilation enhancement, slowed the caravan down a bit using telekinesis, and readied himself to leap! He was bending his knees and wriggling side to side in anticipation because he was going to hitch a ride! The caravan did try swerving to the side to dodge him, in case he was looking to cause a direct collision and crash them, but Ares saw the rapid shift in direction with his Omniscience and leapt through the air with reckless abandon. He threw himself headfirst at the caravan and, SPLAT, landed face-first on the windshield! Ares was now plastered on the caravan like a splattered bug and waving at the duo inside the caravan trying to drive with a human shaped obstacle blocking their view. Bonnie was too busy driving blind to do anything about this but Don...nie immediately reached over and flicked a switch that activated the window wipers. Ares' face was pushed side to side but his dumb smile never disappeared and he looked a little creepy actually, like a cursed doll having its strings pulled. His face and neck were turning in a consistent rhythm, side to side, and, sure, it was because he was getting smacked around by an inanimate object, but it was sort of hypnotising in a ridiculous way. It was safe to say the trio would have rather had a scarab king be plastered across their windshield right now than this strange weird! The scarab king was a bigger bug but it would bug them less! Plus they still had no idea what this clingy idiot was planning on doing next and it was evident they couldn't get rid of him before he did it, whatever 'it' was...

Bonnie made the executive decision to slam the brakes. This might have seemed like a bad idea but going on like this was equally terrible. All Ares had to do was slink in through a window and then all havoc would break loose while Ronnie was on the crow's nest above the vehicle and bonnie was too busy driving to do anything. Don...nie would be in a one vs one situation which was not how this trio shone in combat at all. Ares could also cause a serious crash, by targeting the wheels instead of jumping inside, and then pick everyone off one by one while they were groggy and recollecting themselves amidst the wreckage... It was far better to park the vehicle, get this lunatic off it, and fight a proper fight outside the caravan. Of course stopping the caravan normally was unnecessary, though, and the driver, Bonnie, wasn't going to be polite to the uninvited hitchhiker! At the very least, throwing him off their vehicle would be satisfying, and pay him back for ambushing them while they were asleep and leaping at them like some kind of suicidal frog! Clinging to moving vehicles was a bad decision and Ares would pay dearly for this mistake even if he was successful in making the trio pull over! The caravan slowed down so unexpectedly fast that Ares really did lose his grip and he went flying off the vehicle and was flung down a hill out of view. The trio couldn't see where he went exactly but they all had the exact same thought in their mind. Serves him right! Hopefully he broke a few bones with that fall and, hey, nobody was going to complain if he accidentally broke his neck or something of that fatal-nature!

As the caravan came to a full halt, the trio disembarked from the vehicle but one of them was immediately sent flying down the hill in much the same fashion Ares was. It was hard to tell who it was that had been sent flying under the cover of darkness but, based on the loud teeth kissing sound they heard fading away into the distance, it was definitely Bonnie that just been booted over the hill. As for how Ares had wrapped around to wind up behind the trio that quickly after having just been sent down that exact hill they didn't know... The truth of the matter was that Ares intentionally let himself get flung down there before swapping places with the nothingness eagle that was still chasing the caravan from behind. He then utilised all his falling momentum, and the eagle's crash course with the trio, to dive kick Bonnie in the back and blast her away from the caravan. Ares had no real enmity with either of the other two guys here but Bonnie deserved the kick for trying to chuck him off the caravan in such a crude way! This was just desserts and she was getting a taste of her own medicine!... Although this manoeuvre did come at a price because now the eagle was going to be real pissy with Ares later. Sure Ares was brought out of the ditch when he swapped places with the eagle but all that meant was that the eagle had been thrown into it in his stead and then had a random woman come flying onto him and crushing him in the sand. He was almost definitely deader than dead right now and was going to squawk his bird-brains out at Ares later on and demand he have more leeway in the naming process... And be fed a banquet as a form of apology too... Still, it was a worthwhile price to pay if it meant getting the drop on this trio. That kick was pretty devastating and Bonnie was going to struggle to take part in this fight and do anything meaningful. She would have sustained a pretty heavy injury after that kick and fall no doubt so the fight was already in Ares' favour.

Even still, Ares didn't go on the offensive immediately. Just from this small back and forth with them he could tell he was way above their league and didn't need to go to such lengths and pick his fights optimally. Rather, he was interested in asking them a few questions before he got down to business. They were going to resist getting dragged away afterwards so he would probably knock them unconscious when he was done with them. As such, it was better to get answers out of them now than later because it wouldn't even be possible. Fortunately he kicked away the one person in this trio who was renowned for never actually speaking so that was a good start! It would have been awkward if he kicked Don...nie and was left with the blabbermouth who never said anything important and the teeth-kisser who never said anything at all! "Gentlemen, this is a fine evening to get your asses beat, is it not?" Ares' greetings were as non-standard as ever.

"Who are you? What do you want? Why do you want it? When do you want it? Where do you want it? How do you want it? W..."

"Shut up, Ronnie." Don shook his head and sighed... But Ares was actually curious! Who, what, when, where, why, how. The five 'w's' and the one 'h'... But what came after? Had Ronnie transcended logic and created a new spectrum of questioning? Logicians everywhere wanted to hear this man speak! Alas, he'd been thoroughly shut up but his brother before he could unmask the secrets of the philosophical universe. "What do you want, bastard?" Don picked the most important question of the ones his brother had been asking and went with that for now as it was a good place to start.

"Ah you must be Donnie? What I want is simple, actually. I want your caravan, any other treasures you might happen to have, and I then I suppose I'll be wanting to hand you over to the Xasca city guards so I can claim your bounty too. I'm quite greedy, you see, and I want it all. Ah but I'd also like some information on the scavengers, if that's not asking too much? Of course I can always beat the daylights out of you until you hand everything over if you'd prefer to do things the hard way?"

"What, huh, you picking a fight?" Ronnie was putting up his dukes but really his mouth was the only thing dangerous to anybody here as he was more likely to talk Ares ear off than actually hurt him in any way. "''Cos if you're picking a fight them I'm looking for one! You, me, let's tango you punk. I'll show you who's boss. Just wait 'till I hit you with the kapow and then some kachow for good measure! I'll make mince meat outta you and then..."

"Shut up, Ronnie." Don sighed again and turned to face Ares. "Who the hell you calling Donnie, HUH? Keep yapping and I'll set Ronnie on ya you hear me? Dunno what makes you think you can take us three but you ain't getting anything outta us... Well, maybe I can tell you about the scavengers, they've been getting real bossy as of late and we don't mind causing trouble for them in return. Our treasures, though? And our freedom? Bah, you'll have to take 'em by force if you want 'em!"

"Whatever you say, Donnie..."

"It's not Donnie! How'd you like it if I called you... If I called you... What's your name again?"

"Ares."

"Ares? Yeah, how'd you like it if I called you... Wait a minute. Ares? Aw fuck." It seemed like these three were well aware a big shot was meandering around in the country right now and Don quickly realised his chances of making it out of here in one piece were slim.

"Don't worry Don!" Ronnie, however, was apparently ever the optimist... "We can always be free in heaven instead!" Or not! This was some twisted optimism! "We can ride around on clouds up there and gatecrash the pearly gates! let's nick wine glasses from Gods and harps from angels in paradise yeah bro?! We can..."

"Shut up, Ronnie." As per usual, Don sighed again after quietening down his brother. "Besides, you got it all wrong. I'm pretty sure we're going to hell, right? If we want freedom we're gonna have to sneak out of our prisons yeah? Maybe play some hide and seek with Satan."

These guys are really something... Ares couldn't believe what he was hearing! They'd given up on real life and were making plans to be nuisances in the afterlife already just from hearing his name! 'Freedom' being important to this trio was perhaps the understatement of the year! Although, unfortunately for them, freedom was not something so easy to come by in the afterlife as far as Ares knew... Still, they could figure that out the hard way later on. It was likely Xasca would publicly execute these three dunderheads, as a warning to others, so they could take one final road trip together, this time not in the caravan, straight to to hell. "Hm, well I don't suppose this all means you three are going to come along willingly though, right? I don't get that sort of vibe from you."

"Course not! W..." Ronnie was pre-emptively shut up by Don's palm covering his mouth because it seemed like even he was getting sick of his brother's completely pointless diatribes.

"Damn straight we ain't gonna bend!" A simple declaration from Don...nie but one that made the trio's stance very clear. Bonnie had just managed to climb out of the sandy pit behind her two brothers and was kissing her teeth repeatedly, Ronnie was heating up both his magic and his motor mouth, and Donnie was brandishing some brass knuckles to start this fight with. Ares hadn't quite gotten the information he was after as of yet but he would have to pull it out of them the hard way so what came next was self-explanatory. It was beat-down time!