Chapter 442: Protector: Part 2

Ares had a lot of weight on his chest... Literally. Just because Sandy had refined her muscles to not be visible that didn't mean they, or what they entailed, magically disappeared. Ares was obviously not going to commit a cardinal sin here and call her 'heavy' but he was definitely throwing around the 'rhino' nickname a lot more than usual in his head right about now. Ah but what to do? This was one of his few weaknesses, a crying beauty! Or, well, if a random pretty woman started walking up to him with tears in her eyes he wouldn't care, per se, but the issue was that he knew the person crying here and now personally and had no idea what to do about this! She was definitely hurt by her memories... And Ares respected that... But she was also totally taking advantage of Ares' kindness here!... Ares, in the end, had to just sit there and let it happen for now because he knew Enyo and Bellona would understand. Sandy still had more to talk about, she hadn't gone over her rescue yet, so she'd probably get up off him when she finally felt comfortable now that the worst of it was presumably over. If it was just this much for a little while then indulging her neediness, which was looking to be quite meaningful for her... Well, Ares could put with this rhino for at least a bit longer. This was what he thought to himself as the panic on his face disappeared and was replaced with a gentle mile.

About ten minutes passed in silence before Sandy let out a forlorn sigh and sat back up. She had a a hard time looking at Ares right now, and her cheeks were flushed for a reason that had nothing to do with alcohol this time, but she was able to carry on with her story now and so she quickly distracted herself with that. Ares could tell, when she started speaking, that she was in a much better mood than she was before just by the way she was reminiscing without a lingering sense of dread in her general aura and demeanour. No longer did she have a frightened frown but now it was more like a lazy smile of someone who'd given up but was at least somewhat content with the result of whatever was bothering them. As it turned out, this attitude was due to her relation with the elders which was about to be explained. "I should really have died that day. I'm honestly lucky to even be here, I know that. There were times, when I was younger, when I felt like I would have preferred it if no one came to my rescue but I grew out of thinking like that after a while." Sandy shook her head side to side slowly, the implication being that she was regretting the way she felt back then and considered herself to have been a dumb child with dangerous thoughts running through her brain. "As for the person who rescued me, I think it should be obvious. Do you remember the female elder that was vehemently supportive of us back during the meeting?" 

Ares nodded in response to the questions as, although he didn't know her name, she was the one he referred to internally as 'elder 2' at the time. It had been clear to Ares that Sandy had a good relationship with her and that elder 2 treated Sandy with something more than respect. kinship. If Sandy's parents weren't around anymore then it was likely elder 2 took Sandy in after whatever happened and they were close with one another. Sandy went on to confirm this with everything that she spoke of next. "Elder Bala. That's her name. I guess you can call her my adoptive mother? Anyway, back then she'd been pretty suspicious of my parents. My talents were well enough known and for me to have suffered so many 'accidents' so soon after my birth, each of which impacted my future so heavily and stifled those very same talents, was highly unusual. She cared the most about finding out what was happening behind the scenes, even if the other elders thought she was being paranoid, so she kept a watchful eye out for anything out of the ordinary regarding my parents behaviour.

The day my parents tried to kill me, Bala had seen them sneak out of their room down in the headquarters. This by itself wasn't too concerning but when she saw them carrying me, and trying to remain somewhat lowkey as the left the base, she had a feeling in her gut this random escapade of theirs wasn't so simple a matter. She followed them in secret and watched in horror as they tried to execute me. The method of murder they'd chosen was known only to modern day fellahin through ancient texts and scrolls but it was seen as heretical. A subsection of low purity fellahins had formed a cult a long time ago to enact these rituals in which high purity bloodline fellahin were 'returned to the sands'. We don't know why they ever bothered doing it, although it maybe had something to do with getting revenge for the way they were treated, but the point was that this practice was banned and seen as taboo in our culture. It was cruel and a despicable tool for assassinating people in a way that didn't even let the families grieve over their loved ones corpses. It even led to a lot of resentment against low purity fellahin, that has still somewhat stuck around to this day, as it's something they can't ever have done to them and was seen as a form of targeted rebellion. Punishment for even attempting such a ritual was, and still is, naturally very strict and when Bala saw them doing it to me she almost couldn't believe her eyes. She would never have let them kill me regardless of the method but for my parents to stoop so low, to use this ritual against a three month old, was a shocking and gut wrenching thing for Bala to experience first hand. Bala used to get along with my parents too so this whole mess was really tragic for her as well and she still has some deep-seated scars from that day both physically and mentally.

Bala bided her time in the sands, collecting the parts of me that flew away with her expert sand manipulation as a long standing and powerful elder of our tribe, and then snatched my wet sand body away when my parents got complacent in their success. They assumed they hadn't been followed and didn't bother keeping an eye out on their surroundings so Bala was able to collect my parts and 'fix' me, restoring my body somewhat to the point I could live until I received proper treatment, before it was too late. She did this as she fled from my parents who gave chase to her all the way back to the clan and persisted even back at the base now that the cat was out of the bag regarding what kind of people they were. Bala was heavily injured as the bombardments she suffered while escaping was considerable but, nonetheless, she made it back to the base and the headquarters alive and sought aid from the other elders. They were all completely baffled as to what was happening but as soon as the method of murder was mentioned they were up in arms and willing to fight my parents to the death regardless of anything else that transpired. Every single elder at the time joined forces and a long, arduous, and gruelling battle took place over the course of multiple days as they gradually wore down my parents' stamina and exhausted them to claim victory.

Funnily enough, as an aside, when the elders found out it was me that the ritual had happened to, about halfway through the fight when Bala recovered on the sidelines enough to mention it, and that my parents had been crippling me since birth, the elders flew into a rage I've never seen anything like since. After all, I wasn't a low purity fellahin, I was a raw talent to them and they cared deeply about my wellbeing. I was like the next coming of a God in their eyes and they practically worshipped me at the time. We butt heads now, and can't seem to ever see eye to eye on pretty much anything, but back then they were so protective of me they were even willing to fight my monstrous parents to keep me alive and safe from harm. As I mentioned earlier they won in the end, at the cost of one of the elders' lives and irreparable wounds that could not be counted on two hands, and that marked the end of my parents' rule.

From there, over time, I was then taught how to take their place and became strong enough to lead the clan while Bala took care of me in her home. Arla was the only friend I made during my early years because she was seen as an up and coming talent as well, one who would be my second in command, so they paired us up early. Ignoring that last part, as it's not really relevant and I just thought I'd mention how I met Arla, this is why I'm so conflicted about the elders and how to deal them from here on out. On the one hand, everything those elders represent now is something I could never get behind. I hate the way they treat the low purity fellahin and I disagree with them entirely on the matter. I think they're terrible people sometimes, capable of doing terrible things, and have a lot to answer for... But I can never bring myself to hate them. They saved my life, even if for entirely selfish reasons, and so I felt obligated to stay here and protect them in return. I wanted freedom but how could i jsut abandon the people I owed my life to like that? They aren't murderers or traitors to the clan or anything, just people with awful world views that make them inclined to despise and treat some people unfairly. They bark a lot but have never directly started a confrontation or physical altercation with low purity fellahin and I think they at least still understand those people are family, even if they're far too proud to say it out loud. It doesn't excuse them, or the things they've done, but it could be a lot worse. I had some time to think things over while I was abroad, thanks to Arla suggesting it would be good training to compete with geniuses across the world, and decided that Xasca was where I needed to be. It wasn't about overlooking the elders, it's jsut that they were pretty minor compared to everything else the position of clan leader meant...

There were still so many dangerous monsters and entities roaming around the desert that I knew I needed to deal with, after I was finished with my training, and take up the mantle the elders fought in a life and death battle with my parents for. I couldn't ignore my home becoming that much more dangerous because of my own selfishness. I rationalised it as a trade; my parents lives were taken so I had to fill the void in this desert. But yes, this is also why i can't just be rid of the elders now because it would be such a massive betrayal of everything they've done for me given why they'd done it in the first place. They hadn't protected me for my sake, not a majority of them anyway, but they were definitely doing it for the future of the fellahin and for Xasca so it all felt bigger than me, like something I had no right to refuse... But I still can't stand to see they way they treat everyone else.

It was such a difficult spot for me to be in because i didn't know how to fix the problem or how to run away from it without making it all worse... But that was when you came along and offered to eradicate every single monster and set me free. You can understand why I was so excited for it, right? My job as a protector for others could finally come to an end because there would be nothing left that they needed a guardian for. Even if they felt like I still owed them more it would be literally impossible to ever repay them regardless of my actions, because there would be nothing left for me to do, so I don't feel so bad giving up the position anymore. They know they can't guilt me in such a fashion which was why, back during the meeting, they begged Bala to talk to me. Such a thing would never work, though, because she was always like a real parent to me and was supportive of me no matter what. Maybe she was somewhat scarred from what she saw that day, and felt extreme pity for me, but she treated me well ever since. I know it's hurting her a little that I'm probably going to leave soon but she'd never admit it. Not because she doesn't have it in her to be emotionally vulnerable like that and be honest. No. It's because she's afraid of how I'll react to it. Though Bala was never really able to help alleviate my stress and pain regarding what happened, she was the only person who really knew how much of a pushover I was when it came to anything involving my stupid brain.

I couldn't handle my memories, Bala knew that. I deliberated for so long how best to keep the fellahins functioning together as a clan despite the rift between low and high purity bloodlines, she knew that. And she knew that, most importantly, I felt chained chained to the clan. If she so much as shed a single tear before me at any point in the last week I may have given up my dreams of leaving forever, she definitely knew that. It's different now. This talk today, I owe you a lot Ares. Whatever happens next you are a very special friend to me and you've helped me overcome something that had been tugging away at my heart for so far too many years to count. I have it in me now to look Bala in the eyes and tell her I'm leaving no matter what and that's a relief because I didn't think I would get to say goodbye to her properly at this rate. Maybe me talking to you about all this was selfish, because that was probably my real goal at the end of it all, but thank you for listening and accommodating me in spite of that regardless of whether or not it was your intention."

Ares took a deep breath because Sandy had said a lot recently and he'd not spoken at all in response up until. Trying to find the right thing to say to encapsulate all his feelings on the matter was impossible so he gave up and kept it simple. "You're more than welcome... Sorry if that's an unimpressive response to everything you've said it's just..." Ares briefly paused and scratched his head so Sandy took the opportunity to finish the sentence for him.

"A lot to take in. I know..."

"Nonono." Ares shook his head quickly and waved his hands side to side. "No, I mean it is, but what I meant is just that I don't really know what to say because I think I know what comes next... I know where this conversation is going now and... I don't exactly know how to respond to what you're going to say... What you're going to ask..."

"... Next..." Sandy closed her eyes for a few seconds and then reopened them with a determined look in her eyes as she stubbornly leaned back on Ares' chest. He seemed really flustered this time compared to last, and there was a definite difference in his attitude towards this act, but Sandy laid it all bare and let fate take the wheel even if she was destined to crash and burn here. "I want to stay by your side. I want to be with you and I don't mean as a disciple or elder in your sect but as a partner, a lover, and a significant other. I know you're finding this hard for some reason but I want you to respond to my feelings. Whatever you say, I'll accept it... I get the feeling you're going to turn me down, I know that, but I just want you to be honest with me and tell me what you really feel and why it can't happen. I don't mean to sound like I'm bragging but I know how you feel about me and so I'm struggling to understand why we can't be together. I'd be lying if I said it didn't bother me."

Ares rubbed half his face up and down with his palm, smudging his flesh as he wracked his brain for a proper explanation that didn't sound ridiculous... In the end, he could just be honest and hope Sandy understood the nonsense he was spewing. First thing's first, though, he had to remove her from his chest as it wasn't right letting her stay there like this when Ares had no idea what was in store for them. Letting her stay there and giving her potentially false hope was not the correct way to handle this even if they were both enjoying themselves. Ares gently lifted Sandy's head and he could see she was looking more and more demoralised by the second as it became clear that Ares' stance on this was going to be a hard 'no'. He didn't want her to get the wrong idea, and think he was running away from the discussion, so he quickly spoke up to avoid a misunderstanding. "I can respond to your feelings but I want you to understand my predicament and why my hands are so tied. First of all, I have two wives."

"WHAT?" Again, Sandy had no idea about this and just mistakenly assumed Ares was single. That whole deal with the unclarified letter earlier really misled her. Still, the news that he had two, and not one, seemed positive to her. Sandy made a snap judgement that led to her regaining her calm and saying, "I don't mind being the third. I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm not willing to give up on you even if I have to share you. I never thought I would be in a situation like this but I'm accepting of it." Unfortunately she hadn't let Ares finish so a quick shake of the head made her crestfallen again. She probably thought his wives weren't going to accept a third but, to her surprise, Ares suggested otherwise.

"The number isn't the issue... Rather, I think my first wife would be the happiest person in the world if I just went around collecting suitable toys for her that met her criteria..."

"Toys?"

"Ahem. Never mind that. My point is that I would accept you as a third wife, happily even, I was just mentioning it in case you thought it was problematic. The real issue is the second issue. It's one major issue that splits off into a bunch of minor ones that I can't ignore or wrap my head around because it's impossible to tell how things will go if I ignore it. To tell you the truth, I have received a prophecy from Yulo. You know him and you know well enough that his track record is flawless, right?"

Sandy nodded. "I do respect Yulo a great deal. I know of his talents regarding prophecies because I received one from him myself a long time ago after he beat me up. 'You will compromise but you will be happy'. To be honest I'm still waiting for it to come true but I was hoping this would be that moment. I feel happy when I'm with you so I'm willing to make any compromise necessary to keep that happiness."

"... Well my prophecy is the problem, not yours. He told me exactly how many wives I would have and gave me a rough idea of what kind of people they are... Or, to be more accurate, he told me the way they would see me or what they would see me as. Everything. Limerence. Mate. Acceptance. Solace. Obsession. Ambivalence. Servitude. Everything and limerence are taken already. I think the closest you come to any of these would be solace, given what transpired here today, but I have doubts. I think a more apt term between us would be 'friends'. I 'comfort' you but I don't think you take solace in me, at least not to the extent that I've seen my two wives display their respective perspectives. Plus, even if you want to argue you do fulfil the criteria for solace, you've only ever taken solace in me for this one matter and I don't think that really counts? I don't need to explain 'everything' but Ms Limerence was willing to literally stay by herself for her entire life and watch me from the sidelines eternally. That's an entire life we're talking about. I'm not trying to belittle any of your convictions or hardships but what happened to you, and what you needed to take solace in me regarding, was one event. I'm not saying you aren't justified to feel the way you do, and I'm not saying it doesn't mean a lot to you, I just don't think the scale is correct given the disparity between how much you embody solace and my other wives embody their views, is all.

Then there's the order of the wives. You are here before me right now yet, even if I assumed you are solace, that's fifth on the list. It doesn't add up or make sense, especially given some of the hints I've come across that suggest my third prophesised partner, another fundamental pillar wielder, is someone I can't meet for many years to come... Again, you are right here so the order can't be correct if you are solace which most likely means you aren't. It's not that I don't like you, I just worry that if I screw with this prophecy things will change irreversibly and affect fate in a way I wouldn't be comfortable with. What if I accept you and something terrible happens to the rest of the wife candidates? I would never know them, and it wouldn't be my problem, but I would never be able to wonder what exactly happened to them as a result of my current selfishness. Would I be the cause of their deaths, or maybe forced them to live miserable lives of torment, because I messed around with a timeline I shouldn't have touched and never became relevant in their lives? Would it change nothing? Was Yulo's prophecy wrong from the start? Does my pillar have something to with this? Can I destroy fate or avoid it? It's not you, it really isn't. I don't dislike you at all. But it's also not me. I know how I feel about you. The issue is something I can't overlook due to the severity of what may happen if I'm not careful with how I go about this."

Sandy was stunned and her mouth was hanging open which caused Ares to chuckle slightly. She shook her head and pinched the bridge of her nose while thinking things through in her head until she came to a conclusion of sorts. "I... I don't even know where to begin with anything you've just said. I understand and respect your difficulties... But this really sucks you know? To know that the happiness I've been seeking all my life is right before me, and it's not even trying to run away from me, and yet I can't have it... This is seriously bad for my heart you know? I can't put this much of a burden on you, because my feelings for you won't let me, but my feelings are also telling me to say 'screw this' and just try to be more forceful. I want an answer more than anything but I know I shouldn't do that to you. I feel a pain in my chest every time I think this but... I should just give up on you... Right?" Sandy was trying to force a smile but there was no way in hell anyone, even someone who had never met her before, would fall for it. Her lips were trembling and her eyes were getting moist so Ares intervened again.

"No. There is an option left... I have no idea what will come of it but this is the only thing I can suggest. There is hope for you but I am not the person who can give you fulfilment in that regard."

"..." Sandy didn't follow but her mood had shifted on the spot. She was pretty terrible at hiding her emotions, probably because her clothes had always done that for her, and currently looked like a dog who was told there was a bone with her name on it. "What? Who? I don't want to sound desperate but I am and I'll do anything. I'm ready to make a 'compromise' because I refuse to believe it will be too detrimental to me."

"... Speak to my wife."

"... Huh?"

"I... Want you to speak to my wife. My first wife. When you go back to the sect, ahead of me because I have to visit Isasz, I want you to speak to my wife and tell her everything. She's the head of the harem, not me. She's many things but, above all, she's the person I trust most in this world. Really, truthfully, I'm at that demoness' mercy... In more ways than one... But she's your best hope here. She mentioned in the letters we exchanged that if I found any more women to send them her way. I think she's been thinking about this nine wives prophecy as of late and, to be honest, I have no clue what that mad woman is cooking up now. If you and I are ever going to have a chance of being together it will be through her and that is about the best I can offer you."

"... Ha..." Sandy's eye was twitching because... "You... Make this woman sound incredibly frightening..."

"... Uh, not at all? Kinda? Very? It depends on her mood..."

"Does she get angry?"

"No. Worse. She gets horny..."

"What?"

"I said what I said... Well, for what it's worth, you're incredibly attractive so that will definitely help."

"Wait a minute..."

"She's going to be very touchy feely, I imagine. Especially emboldened given what will happen between her and Bellona..."

"Uh..."

"Ahem... Look, I don't know what will come of your discussion with her but there is one thing I will promise you. She will be your friend and she will care deeply about you jsut as I have. Your feelings for me are clear, and can never be denied, so she will like you no matter what. That is an undeniable truth about her. I can not put you in more competent hands... They just might feel you up a little..."