Chapter 544: Better Late Than Never

Plop Plop Plop

The salamander's little webbed feet raced along the floor as the happy fella darted around sniffing the Elliot in search of something. Eventually, led by his nose, the lizard dashed on over to the couch Ares was laying on and stared up at him with a big grin. "I smell dragons!"

...

Ares was indeed wearing his Scaled Insulator, and he had draconic blood flowing through his veins even if it wasn't a substantial amount... But he still didn't understand who this lizard was or why he was being accosted by this overly joyful critter. "Before we continue that conversation... Who are you and how did you get into my campervan? Answer incorrectly and I will dunk your head in the pile of snow outside and give you an icy swirly." The salamander was indeed tiny enough to be picked up by the tail and thrust into piles of snow. There was a hefty warmth emanating from him too so his head would likely melt the snow which would then put him underwater so there was a very real threat being levied against this somewhat dopey intruder!

"S... Swirly?" The lizard recoiled with a look of horror as though he suffered such a cruel fate many a time before and was momentarily reliving it. "W... Why do other dragons like giving me swirlys so much?" That last bit of quiet muttering was spoken only to himself but Ares still overheard it and learnt a lot about this silly sap. 'Other dragons' meant this guy thought of himself as one too? That was a big no-no in the dragon world so them bullying this guy was to be expected. "Ahem... what I mean to say is, you dare threaten to give a God a swirly?!" The small salamander puffed up his chest and stood on his hind legs as his firecracker tail swayed behind him. His unconventional introduction informed Ares that this animal, lacking in awe factor and general presence, was the God that was supposed to be assigned to him from the start, Ignizz. The real Ignizz probably cast a much more striking figure when putting on airs in such a fashion but this mini clone of himself looked like a wind up toy more than anything to be feared. Also, his voice wasn't cutting it as he sounded like even he wasn't convinced he was a deity. He was, he had the Godly aura that signalled his status, which was arguably more impressive than he was, but Ares would be damned if he ever felt that way about this guy. There was something inexplicable about his existence that made Ares want to pinch and bully him. This salamander may very well have been the most pathetic thing Ares had ever, and would ever, lay eyes on. Still, he couldn't bring himself to mock the guy too ruthlessly because his aura was doing Ignizz a lot of favours and salvaging his otherwise pitiful attempt at being imposing.

Ares could feel himself choking on ash burning his throat as imaginary lava rolled across his tongue. His gums were aflame while the rest of his body felt as though it could melt on the spot like a human ice cream left out in the sun for too long. His feet were stepping on invisible coal, his chest was rolled over by a hot iron, his spine was replaced by a fire stoker, his back was marked all over by a branding iron, and his lungs were full of embers. Everything was ablaze and spontaneous combustion felt no more than mere moments away as the urge to jump into a pile of snow became overwhelming. Ares wiped the sweat from his brow and allowed his own war aura to combat this annoying phenomenon as he didn't want to experience thermal shock. It was freezing outside and now he was being boiled alive in here!? That was bad for his health so this guest of his had to have his aura stifled and brought down to manageable levels. Perhaps Ignizz realised that his aura was causing issues, or maybe Ares' aura forced him to back down, but either way Ignizz took control of his presence and diluted it until it was nothing more than a soothing breeze of mellow air.

"I'm pretty certain you're Ignizz but I'll ask and double check anyway just to be sure..." You don't exactly look or act like a God... Ares had seen Astraeus and Terros so far and, though they had their own issues, the former was literally an emotionless robot while the latter was a stuck in his ways rock, they still carried themselves like higher beings for the most part. Ignizz... Well he was definitely different comparatively. It was hard to believe he was the most destructive God in existence but being the deity of the fire pillar meant precisely that. Even if Ares found it unlikely the harsh truth was that this lizard was currently superior to him in terms of the wanton destruction he could wreak if he went all out. That would change one day but, for now, Ignizz was his... Superior? It felt wrong to even think such a thing but it was regrettably true and so Ares cut him some slack.

"Ignizz, the one and only fire dragon supreme!"

Ares stared down at this... 'Dragon' and couldn't help but feel like this was the smallest 'dragon' he'd ever seen. granted he'd only ever seen the wyvern soul before but even then he was still convinced that even baby dragons were larger than Ignizz! "Right... And where exactly have you been this whole time? I've not lived a good life thanks to your absence, you know?" It wasn't Ignizz' fault things went poorly for Ares regarding the Chens but it also could have been avoided if this guy wasn't slacking off and took his job seriously from the get go. Ares didn't much care, what was done was done, but he was at least curious what this layabout was up to.

"Ah you know, sleeping mostly. I like collecting dragon treasures usually but didn't think there would be any down here so my clone just kinda slept the whole time. Didn't miss anything important did I?"

"... No... I don't suppose you can go back to sleep?" Ares didn't want this dumb thing! He already had Astraeus as a God summon and, while having another was great and all, having to put up with this 'dragon' was going to drive him crazy! Ignizz appeared to only have two brain cells sharing a bunk bed in that peanut sized brain of his and one of them fell out and smacked their head against the floor.

"I mean I can sleep if you want me to but I really don't wanna right now! I smell dragons!" Ignizz' tail wagged back and forth and he displayed an innocent smile filled with positive emotions, there wasn't a hint of negativity in sight. His intentions were pure as a saint's. Ares couldn't help but acquiesce to this salamander's wishes because he was kinda cute in his own highly passionate and childlike-wonder way.

"Well yes, you would smell dragons. My jacket has some ties to dragons, though I don't know to what extent exactly, and I have a partially draconic bloodline."

Ignizz nodded and began making himself useful as if to apologise for his tardiness in showing up in the first place. "The parka... I get a familiar feeling from it... I'd have ot analyse it extensively to figure out where it came from. Still, I have boundless knowledge about dragons and their clans so if you give me enough time I can trace the parka back to its roots and give you some background information. As for your bloodline, it is partial but it also very real, just dormant and subdued. A few resources here and there and you can make it much more pronounced, really bring out the dragon in you, and then you can become more like me!"

Ares ignored this false dragon's last comment and let him continue as what he was saying was useful information... Though Ares highly doubted he would ever get useful information out of this lizard ever again if it didn't have anything to do with dragons or his bloodline. Ignizz was highly specialised in this one field and had nothing else going for him, it seemed. "Your revenant bloodline is at the forefront but, yeah, becoming a dragon also, fully fledged, shouldn't be impossible. That's unique, you know? I've never seen a dragon revenant before! There was one child born to a dragon and a revenant a long while ago, and you're probably a descendent of that family, but you would be the first to have both bloodlines play an active role as one of the two typically take a back seat. You can awaken both likely due to the revenant side taking priority and then mutating to allow the draconic bloodline a chance to merge partially. From there, you could even hep to make others become dragons as well as long as their bloodline isn't too thin... Ehehehehe." Ignizz was drooling as he cackled. For someone who adamantly identified himself as a dragon, at least when he wasn't around anyone who might beat himself up for saying such a thing, he certainly got excited over the prospect of somebody else being able to turn him into... A dragon...

Ares decided not to call Ignizz out on this blatant plot hole in his cover story and just let it be. Besides, if Ares could help Ignizz become an actual dragon then why not? Ignizz was an idiot but he was here to help. He might have arrived late, and he might be goofy as can be as far as Gods go, but he was an ally now and looked to be harmless to the point he couldn't even harm a fly. If, like Dominus, he was able to contribute by dropping information bombs on Ares every now and then then sure, Ares would help him out in the long run too as a form of repayment for his services. Dominus would get his body back and Ignizz would soar in the skies and breathe draconic flames upon all who dared challenge him... Though he could probably already do that, Ignizz was a God after all... He just wasn't a dragon.

"Then I'll keep an eye out for resources that can benefit my bloodline so I can pump up my dragon lineage... Though I don't really know what I'm looking for. I've already taken a draconic seed, I'm guessing that's what awakened the bloodline properly and made it readily apparent to anyone capable of spotting it. You in this case. But I don't know what else would be good to absorb so I'll have to rely on you to inform me much like how Dominus points out revenant resources and Celestial Cluster treasures."

Ignizz hopped up onto the couch and landed on Ares' leg with a determined nod. "That I can do! Also, if we form a contract, you can summon me to unleash my draconic might and make countless worms cower before my scaled splendour!" Ignizz did not have scales of any kind. Ares did not call him out on this either; he would be here all day correcting Ignizz otherwise. Also, for what it was worth, Ares didn't know diddly squat about salamanders anyway, he wasn't a biologist of any kind. Hell he still mistakenly thought salamanders were lizards. They weren't, they were amphibians actually, and there was a difference, but Ares didn't know that. In fact, Ares didn't care. He would continue calling Ignizz a lizard until basically the end of time anyway even after he found out it was wrong. If it looked like a duck, and it quacked like a duck, it was a duck! If it looked like a lizard, and waddled like one too, it was a lizard! Either way, Ignizz definitely did not resemble a dragon and Ares flat out refused to call him that. Maybe it was his own draconic bloodline flaring up but he wasn't exactly pleased at the thought of being compared to this dumb lizard. He felt a phantom punch in his stomach every time Ignizz dabbled in draconic indulgence and disillusionment so maybe Ares really was becoming a dragon in nature... Well, there was no reason to complain about such a thing. It would improve his strength, for Garmr especially thanks to his adept trait, and would grant him even more prestige and status than he already had. A Brotherhood fundamental champion dragon mutated revenant God... It was a mouthful but there was probably nobody in this dimension with as much reputation and clout as Ares.

As an aside, dragons, though Ares was unaware of this due to few encounters with them, were also known for being horny. Not constantly but when they were feeling it they could become rather shameful. One was caught sticking his oversized genitals inside an asteroid, and getting stuck in there, because he was caught with his pants down by uncontrollable urges. Perhaps Arse would wind up being a victim of these urges too or maybe not. Naturally Enyo would probably hope so for her own sake but Ares would personally rather not go down that route if he could avoid it.

Ares sat up with a sigh and stretched. "Alright, contract time it is. How do we do this? Is it the same for all Gods or are you going to ask me to do something different?"

Ignizz gave a little shrug. "Dunno how other Gods do it, I've never seen them make a contract before. In my case, I just need to eat a drop of your blood."

...

Ares wasn't buying it!

Ares narrowed his eyes and glared at Ignizz who eventually bucked and gave in. "Ha... Fine, I just need to burn a drop of your blood..." This annoying little prat just wanted to taste his dragon blood! Ares was going to have to sleep with one eye open to make sure Ignizz wasn't sucking his blood like a vampire in the dead of night!

Ares used his nail and some disintegration magic to create a small cut on his finger and handed over the blood droplet with telekinesis. His neat parlour trick earned him an entertained 'oooh' from Ignizz who'd heard about this unconventional use of pressure and was decently curious enough about seeing it used in real life. There were many things Ignizz wanted to see regarding Ares and this was pretty high up there, just not as high on his list as the revenant form with its draconic mutation. As a dragon connoisseur such a thing was nearly at the top of his wish list of desires. Mutated dragons, be they racial hybrids or just evolved specimens, warranted much attention from Ignizz who would go to great lengths in order to even get a glimpse and lodge the sight in his memory banks forever. The main reason he woke up his clone hovering around Ares was precisely because he wanted to see Garmr up close and in action!

Ignizz' eyes sparkled almost as brightly as his tail as his front two feet gently cradled the blood drop floating towards him like it was a child of God and needed to be handled with the utmost of care. Ares' blood wasn't so fragile it needed this much attention but Ignizz was hellbent on his whole dragon shtick so he would treat anything with mythical heritage or potential like a rare collectible and never let it go or be tarnished. Actually, Dingo, the collector of rarity, and Ignizz knew one another and had a rather complicated relationship due to this tendency because Ignizz knew Dingo had rare dragon treasures, and information about long lost draconic history and customs, while Dingo wanted pretty much the exact same thing out of Ignizz. To each other they were veritable treasures troves of goodness that neither could plunder. Ignizz was a God, so Dingo didn't dare offend him, and Dingo had millions of clients and backers who would swarm Ignizz like flies on dung the second he overstepped his bounds and the social contract not to lay a hand on this valuable information source. It was hard to tell if Ignizz and Dingo were friendly with each other or hated one another but that usually depended on whether or not they'd come to an agreement as of late or stonewalled each other in negotiations for the umpteen billionth time due to their pride and ego. There was a kind of arrogance they held in regards to knowing information nobody else did which was the main driving factor in why they were so reluctant to share with one another. If their draconic knowledge was combined it could maybe even rival the grand libraries of the greatest dragon clans but their own stubbornness prevented such a thing from ever becoming reality. Regardless of how they felt about each other in the moment, though, there was also a profoundly deep respect for each other's information gathering credentials as they'd proven countless times to be able to find even the tiniest slither of trails for the sole sake of later mining a single nugget of worthy draconic secrets. Dragon secrets were almost always well guarded so to have as much info as they did was arguably more impressive than anything else about them.

Ignizz huffed the blood droplet and shivered while his eyes shut and his smile curved even further upward. He looked like a very pleased salamander right about now but Ares wanted to get this show on the road and go back to sleep! Ignizz had interrupted him right as he was about to doze off! Just because Ares didn't need to sleep that didn't mean he wouldn't get grouchy if he was denied rest every time he tried to claim some for himself. "Get a move on already!" Ares' sudden groan caught Ignizz by surprise. He wiped away some of the drool near his lips and slowly got back on track by setting Ares' blood on fire and burning it away bit by bit while reciting something in his head. Ares only needed to wait about five minutes until Ignizz was done and then the contract was essentially already formed without any further involvement on his end. All Ares had to do now was chant the summon art once, mostly as a symbolic measure and practice for the future, and then he could shove this annoying lizard... Somewhere? Dominus was kept in Ares' bloodstream but Ares had no idea where Ignizz was stored. If he'd been asleep all this time then did that mean his clone was basically in a coma inside Ares this whole time? If he'd really been hiding out in Ares' body then it was actually rather impressive because Ares hadn't ever really directly spotted him and it's not like Ares wasn't aware of what was happening internally. Maybe Ignizz was secretly a chameleon instead of a salamander?

"Ahem..." Ignizz hopped back down to the floor, spun in a circle to realign himself and face Ares head on, and put one hand over his heart. "Repeat after me...

I Call On Thee, O' Breath Of Suns And Overseer Of The Searing Sea. Come Forth, Lord Of Cremation And Conflagration, Ignizz!"

A fairly standard God chant. It followed the same principles and formula as Terros' and Astraeus' did so there was nothing out of the ordinary. Next up, all Ares had to do was say it again exactly as he'd heard it...

"I Call On Thee, O' Silly Salamander And Twerp Of Tinder. Come Forth, Lord Of Loser Lizards And Draconic Delusion, Ignizz!"

"Yes yes, perfectly don... Wait! No! You think you're funny?!" Ignizz was on his hindlegs and posturing once more, curling his tiny toes into balled fists and rolling his hands in the air like he was looking for a boxing match. Ares couldn't hold back a laugh at the sight because it was non-threatening to the extreme and the image tickled his sides perfectly. Ignizz ranting in defiance didn't help either. "I'm an not silly! I am not a salamander! I am not a twerp! My fire is bigger and bolder than any mere tinder! I am not a lizard and salamanders aren't even lizards anyway! There is no delusion about my status as an ascended dragon! Take it back! All of it!" Ares somewhat regretted provoking the little guy because it didn't seem like he was going to stop browbeating him any time soon so Ares simply internally vowed to agree with Ignizz until he stopped talking as that was probably the quickest way out of this mess... "Do you seriously believe any old lizard or amphibian could become a God?! No! Impossible! Therefore I must be a dragon! I have consumed endless draconic resources and even if dragon elders shut their eyes before me my treasures and artifacts are so numerous they can disguise me as a dragon flawlessly from my smell to my aura!" Ignizz determination to be a dragon was so strong he literally became a God to try and prove it... In its own way that was rather impressive... Sad, but impressive.

"Yes yes, very amazing. Your logic is flawless and I am left in awe while those who disparage you are sure to be left in shambles as their carefully constructed counter arguments turn to dust before your venerable tongue. May you breathe fire and flap your wings for all eternity oh great dragon master supreme." Ares rolled his eyes as he also rolled his body to the side to get some shut eye on the couch. He didn't care where Ignizz went anymore as long as he stopped bothering him! Unfortunately, Ares accidentally hit a sore spot with his lazy and meaningless praise as there was something he hadn't considered before speaking...

"You... You're mocking me because I don't have wings!"

Aw crap, he's never going to shut up now is he? Ares threw his head back and opened his jaw to let out a silent scream as Ignizz ranted on and on about how all sorts of dragons existed and not all of them adhered to conventional traits. Dragons without horns, dragons without arms and legs, dragons without wings or scales, they all existed! Ares learnt a great deal about historical figures in dragon folklore that overcame missing limbs or features and the regaling of such heroic souls was... Extensive, to put it lightly. Ares could only tolerate this for an hour before he rolled back around with a sharp glare that silenced Ignizz mid speech. "Listen you little fucker, I will give you a drop of my blood if you just SHUT UP. Do not push your luck just because you've taken the form of a cute pet; I will bully you!" Ares flicked a globule of blood that splattered over Ignizz face as he turned around again. He caught sight of a grinning Ignizz just before he turned over fully so there was a very real chance this was exactly what the nuisance had been aiming for. Luckily for Ignizz Ares was too damn sleepy to care right now!

...

...

...

Slurp.

The sound of Ignizz swallowing his blood, using his long tongue to lick the blood off his own face, should at least now mean Ares would get some peace and quiet for once so he relished the thought and allowed himself to drift towards slumber at long last.

...

...

...

"Hey I'm hungry. I heard from Terros you're a good cook so can you make me something? I like flambé... Also can you put some more of your blood in it too? I think it's helping my own bloodline and weirdly enough it tastes really good."

"So help me God I will skin you alive!" Ares launched himself off the bed and scrambled around after Ignizz who was sweating buckets, ducking under gaps in furniture, and navigating tight spaces. Eventually Ares caught the little bugger by his back two legs and dangled him upside down, letting him sway back and forth with a reluctant look on his squirming head. "You want food? let's see how salamanders taste!"

"Terrible actually!"

Ares didn't know if Ignizz was speaking from experience or just lying through his teeth to save his hide but he didn't care! This guy needed to be punished one way or another! Eating him was definitely excessive, and Ares was certain Ignizz would taste like raw chicken if he was psychopathic enough to swallow this puny God, but punishment was unavoidable and something needed to be done!

"Alright, I've decided!" Ares brought out the war aura flag and strapped Ignizz to it with some rope, tightly binding the wannabe dragon until he could no longer wiggle his way out of it... Not that he'd want to give what came next. Ares opened the Roving Elliot door and let the flag fly freely through the air, going on a journey that it wouldn't return from until Ares woke up tomorrow. Where was it headed? To all manner of monster dens to lure in deadly creatures with the smell of lizard meat! Ignizz would get his tootsies and tooshie nibbled on and sharp teeth would peck at his bright tail all night long! Also the flag would take the occasional detour to go fly off the mountain, hover over a mile long fall to the ground, and return with a lizard who may or may not be shaking like a leaf by the end of it!

"You get what you deserve 'dragon'!" Ares snickered as Ignizz was dragged away yelling into the frosty night. HIs cries were soon drowned out by the sound of Ares slamming the Elliot door shut and peaceful snores ensued. Ares, oddly enough, dreamt of dragons that night. Ignizz, for all his winging and whining, was not included in this dream.... Though Ares, in his absolute irreverence for anything and everything sacred, thought it would be funny if one day Ignizz could join their ranks. The look on the dragons' faces would be priceless and that alone made Ares tempted to try. If his bloodline truly was special enough to forge dragons out of amphibians then the chaos he would unleash by displaying such a power was enough to make enemies out of an entire race but, then again, being a revenant... He was already on their shit list anyway! Though draconic, his loyalty was still to the revenants at the end of the day. Ares might bully Ignizz for now but one day he would set his sights on the dragons! Why? Because it seemed like fun, that's why!... Also it might depreciate the value of draconic lineages if Ares, an immortal thanks to his race, could create endless dragons borderline at will. Dominus mentioned that the campaign to smear revenant reputations worldwide was led primarily by dragons so perhaps this was a neat little plan to get some payback and put the shoe on the other foot? Ares wasn't against it! Ignizz was in a lucky position as he got to be the catalyst for Ares' devious plan! This co-operative relationship of theirs was going to be a win win for sure!... So long as Ares didn't have to put up with the twerp excessively...