Back again

_2023_

The sun was rising over the city he left behind. Zhang Zihao looked out of the plane window with empty eyes. He did not feel any excitement or anticipation for returning to his hometown. All he felt was emptiness and sadness. He no longer had anything that connected him to this city.

He arrived at the airport and took his bags. There was no one waiting for him or welcoming him. He was alone as usual.

He got into his car that he rented in advance and headed to his new apartment. It was a simple and comfortable apartment, but it did not make him feel at home. He did not have any memories or feelings that linked him to it. It was just a place to sleep and rest.

After he settled in his apartment, he thought of visiting his mother's grave. She must be angry with him for not visiting her for a long time.

He entered the cemetery and looked for his mother's grave. He saw that the tombstone was clean and there were some flowers there. He was sure that this was the work of Lu Yong. He loved her as much as he did.

Zhang Zihao touched his mother's face with longing. wanted to tell her everything, wanted to complain to her about everything. But he did not want to make her sad. At least she should have a good life in the afterlife.

He got up from the ground and wiped his tears that silently slipped on his face. He got into his car and drove on the road. He wanted to get away from the cemetery and the past. But he could not.

The past haunted him everywhere. He passed by his old school and the park where he used to play with Lu Yong. He saw the buildings and the trees and the benches that witnessed their lives in all stages. He saw the sounds and the smells and the colors that filled his heart with joy and sorrow. He remembered the moments of their laughter and crying.

He remembered every second he wanted to confess, but he did not find the courage or the opportunity. He remembered how he carried his bags and ran away after Lu Yong's wedding.

 Remembered how he received his messages and calls, but he did not reply. He remembered how he followed his news and pictures, but he did not comment. He remembered how he attended his wedding as a friend and congratulated him, but he was not sincere.

 Remembered how he smiled with difficulty, but he was crying inside. He hid his feelings and ran away from the city. He ran away from his life. He ran away from Lu Yong.

He drove fast and firmly. He did not want to see anything else that reminded him of Lu Yong. But it seemed that fate was against him.

When he turned his head, he saw Lu Yong by chance in one of the public places. It was a toy store that they used to love visiting when they were children. He saw Lu Yong with his little son.

Lu Yong was holding him in his arms and buying him a doll. They looked happy and loving. He felt shocked and jealous and hurt. He tried to avoid contact with them, but he failed. Lu Yong raised his head and saw Zhang Zihao.

He smiled with surprise and joy. called him by his name and waved his hand. Lu Yong invited him to come and talk to him. so Zhang Zihao had no choice. He had to face Lu Yong and talk to him. He pretended to be fine, but he was suffering from the break.

He parked the car and got out and headed to Lu Yong.

"Zhang Zihao, you're here? What are you doing in the city?" Lu Yong asked with enthusiasm. He put his son on the ground and greeted Zhang Zihao warmly. "I missed you so much. Why didn't you call me or reply to my messages? I was worried about you. How are you?"

"I'm fine, I lost my phone, I'm sorry I couldn't communicate with you because of that." Zhang Zihao lied just to hide his feelings that he couldn't tell him directly that he was avoiding him. The other nodded quickly and did not doubt much.

He tried to keep a little distance from Lu Yong. He did not want to smell his scent or feel his warmth. "I'm here because of some business. I haven't been back for a while, just today."

"I've been here for two months. I returned to the city to settle here. This is my son Lu Tian. Look handsome like me, right?" He lifted him to show him to Zhang Zihao better. He saw a cute dumpling with big eyes looking at him. He restrained himself with difficulty not to kiss his friend's son.

He raised his mouth with a warm smile as he looked at Lu Tian. He was fascinated by his son, a miniature version of him.

"So what am I going to do now, I booked dinner at our usual restaurant, do you want to join us for the meal? There is a lot to talk about." He held

"No, I still have some work. Maybe next time." He refused politely. Lu Yong took that as an agreement for another date.

"Well anyway, we're going to have a gathering tomorrow. Me and the gang. Come on, they missed you too." He nodded to him and proceeded to leave, but a warm hand grabbed him. A hand he knew well.

Zhang Zihao looked at Lu Yong in surprise. He pointed to the phone. "You haven't given me your number yet, how will I tell you about the location?" Lu Yong laughed. Zhang Zihao felt embarrassed while thanking God that he changed his number a while ago, or else his lie would be exposed.

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_2000_

Zhang Zihao was standing in front of his mother's grave, holding a red rose in his hand. She was his mother who raised him and loved him and compensated him for the absence of his cold and indifferent father.

She was his mother who died of a terminal illness, and left him alone in this world. He was crying bitterly, looking at the stone that bore her name and picture. He felt that he had lost everything in his life, and that there was no meaning to his existence.

The raindrops began to fall on his head, but he did not care. He wanted to stay with his mother, and say goodbye to her for the last time. He did not notice that the people started to leave the cemetery, and that he was left alone. He did not hear the thunder that roared in the sky, or the lightning that lit up the darkness. He was captivated by his grief, and immersed in his tears.

Suddenly, he felt something warm touching his shoulder. He lifted his head, and was surprised to see Lu Yong standing next to him, holding a black umbrella and protecting him from the rain. Lu Yong was his close friend.

Lu Yong smiled at him warmly and tenderly, and said to him in a calm and soothing voice: "Don't cry, I'm with you"

Zihao's heart beat for the first time in that moment as he held Lu Yong's hand and looked at him with teary eyes.