CHAPTER 7

I sit quietly and think about what Mom said as she exits my room. Maybe they were trying to protect me but when people hide the truth I end up hurt anyway as far as I can tell. Same with Heather and Derek, people want to do what they think is best for me but end up hurting me since I have no time to prepare for the news. It's like finding out that your doctor knew you had cancer but didn't feel like telling you till it became terminal. I know I came back a little different when I got back from Texas but I'm getting back in touch with my inner asshole, the same one Kori liked when we were in the car for the first time.

My phone starts going psycho again but I'm not bothering with it, Mom asked me to think about some things and I'm not going to let her down regardless. I know I love my Dad and I respect him but I just don't think he respects me. And why the fuck did he slap me, for standing up for myself or just because he thought I'd go back to being a nine year old boy. Whoa, said by my inner Keanu Reeves, he really could be afraid of losing me. Mind blown, I never thought about my dad ever being afraid of anything and now here it is slapping me in the face, literally. I get up from my bed and head back into the living room, my mind racing, and see Dad's there and is a little shocked to see me looking for him.

"Okay, first off I'm not gonna hit you cause I'm not stupid and second I'm not gonna hug you cause this doesn't feel like one of those moments," I tell my Dad frantically trying to get the thoughts together in my head.

"Okay so what are you doing out here," Dad asks, sitting up in his chair.

"I don't think you respect me," I tell him fast and rambling," I love you and trust you but I don't think you respect me enough to let go so when I stand up for myself to you I get slapped in the face. I am not sure where I'm going with all this but I just need you to understand that I have to be able to have a real choice in what happens in my life over the next year so I can at least feel like I have some direction of my own."

I can feel my Mom behind me staring but it's my Dad in front of me with a questioning expression on his face that has me waiting for an answer. I finally get a nod from Dad and while it's not a celebration I can tell he's a little relieved.

"Okay, so after dinner I need to go out and see Matilda, is that cool," I asked Dad.

"Yes but no staying the night at a girl's place without talking to her parents first," he tells me while turning on the TV.

I turn around and see Mom standing there with a plate in her hand and smile at her before heading back into my room and grabbing my phone. I check the messages, mostly the girls checking on me even though it's only been an hour and a half. I stare at the clock and shake off my shock before texting them and letting them know that everything is cool and to come home. I shoot a second text off to Mathilda asking her if she's at home alone tonight, she replies yes and I tell her I'll be there after dinner.

Dinner with the family after a fight with family is one of those moments that make everyone really nervous because everyone is still waiting for it to blow up again. I'm fine and Dad isn't too out of place but all the women are quietly staring between us and even more so at the welt on the side of my face. Finally I get tired of it and stare across the table at Liz till she gets nervous.

"What Guy," Liz asks confused," Why are you staring at me?"

"I could ask you the same thing sis," I reply, not breaking the gaze.

"Well fine, why does it look like you got hit in the face," Liz asks, getting defensive.

"Because Dad slapped me when I got in his face," I tell her plainly getting back to my food.

"Wait, Mr. Donnelly slapped you," Katy asks, taking a really defensive tone in my direction.

"Yes, and we're going to just get this out of the way now," I say standing up to address them both," Dad wants to make sure I'm not screwing up my life or doing drugs and I want more personal freedom and information when it comes to what happens in my life. Dad wanted me to see a therapist with him and I didn't think it was a good idea, still don't. Dad got on me for my language which is not negotiable in his home and when I got in his face trying to defend myself he slapped me because he thought I was being an obnoxious little shithead."

"He's not wrong I am concerned about choices he makes without telling me and yes I slapped him," Dad says interjecting," Not the best move on my part but we're still talking and this family isn't going anywhere on anyone. Do we all understand this now?"

I sit back down and feel Katy's hand on my leg, I see she wants to make sure I'm okay and I nod with a little smile. I still don't fully understand dad slapping me but I figure it was the only move he had at the time considering we both misunderstood a little of where we've been coming from for the past few months. It's not good now but it's talking I guess.

As soon as dinner is done I grab my coat keys and wallet before heading out the door and taking my bike over to Mathilda's house. Her dad isn't home and I start to wonder about her coming home every day after school and being by herself as I get off my bike and get up to her front door. It doesn't take her long to greet me, she's got a new school tank top on and long shorts with her hair done back in a ponytail. I get inside and see it's still cluttered in the living room but we head back to her room and as soon as she sees my face I explain that everything is fine and it's just a family issue that we're working out between my Dad and me.

We get into her room which since the first time I came over is looking a little more girly. Still has a weight set in the corner but Kori helped her find some of her inner girly girl but I'd never tell it to her like that. I sit down on the bed and watch as she gets back to her weights.

"So you wanted to come over here, aside from the fact what's wrong," Mathilda asks, sitting up off the bench.

"I'm getting things back in order in case you couldn't tell by the kiss this morning," I reply smiling.

"Okay that was a great kiss but I'll be fine on the outside of things like usual," Mathilda says shrugging.

That's definitely why I'm here now instead of with Katy. Too often Mathilda gets pushed to the side because she's in a different lunch or has practice or her dad is home and she can't get away. I've let her feel like she's outside the inner circle for too long and it's time I reminded her where she really is at.