Unspoken heart and Unwanted hurt

The slow and almost silent rumble of the AC running, was what Wyatt woke up to. His eyes still heavy to open as he looked at the ceiling. He blinked few times trying to adjust to the very dim luminosity. He heard another breathing and his eyes move nonchalantly to his right and he could see Matthew sleeping on chair, sitting with crossed arms. Wyatt felt quite tired, his limbs were not moving, not that he even wanted them to. He looked with a mix of tiredness and sadness that lingered in his mind. He was trying to recollect what happened and it slowly started replaying in his head. The party, the drinking, the burying of that hurt he felt…He looked at the ceiling, imaging whatever could be what he was feeling. His gaze was numb and almost betraying of a heavy feeling in his chest. He looked again at the gator. He wondered why he was feeling that way towards him. After all, they barely knew each other, and that was not even the biggest issue here…Matthew…was a male…Wyatt felt like his heart would be torn to shreds as he dared imagined what it was…to feel this way for a man. He looked at the ceiling again, he remembered a face…a tiger from his high school. That tickling sensation when he would look and talk to that tiger, those were the same he was having now for the gator, but stronger. Wyatt was remembering Matthew’s smile, his laughter and his voice as he would speak to him. He remembered the gator comforting presence and his hands gripped the sheets tightly as he cursed under his breath, his throat feeling warm as he started to shed tears of pain. He hated this, he hated to feel so helpless, to feel these feelings…it was so hard to breathe, his throat hurt with a bitter pain. He clenched his fist and rubbed his watering eyes…As he opened them again, he was met with the pristine ones of the gator, looking at him with a soft yet concerned expression, almost as if he was also hurt…They both stared at each other’s eyes for seconds. Wyatt feeling his fingers tremble as they held his own face while Matthew’s gaze betrayed his hurt as he looked down and away for a second then back at Wyatt with a reassuring gaze.

Matthew: “hey there buddy…I’m sorry, I left you alone and…you drank yourself to bed”

Wyatt looked at the lips of the gator, his eyes focusing for a bit on the teeth behind then on the wound on his chin. His mind wandered all while listening to those words. He looked at Matthew with slight confusion before the latter cleared his throat and spoke again.

Matthew: “Wyatt? Are you okay?”

Wyatt took an unbearable amount of courage to speak.

Wyatt: “Margh…”

It came out as an undistinguishable sound as he could still feel his throat aching and his mind racing. He tried again, this time, composing himself.

Wyatt: “Matthew…I…”

Matthew shifted on the chair and focused all his attention on the next words of Wyatt, his fingers fidgeting in anticipation. The shepherd looked down at the sheets before speaking.

Wyatt: “I wanna go home”

Matthew didn’t expect that but he could understand the sentiment and looked at his phone for the time.

Matthew: “It’s 4 A.M. We should go now then; morning rounds will start in an hour”

Wyatt looked at him with half pain half confusion.

Wyatt: “How do you know?”

Matthew had half of a second of absence before speaking.

Matthew: “Haufiku told me. Can you get up?”

Wyatt looked away, his tone bitter and harsh.

Wyatt: “I am not hurt”

The shepherd got off the bed and stood up. He was a bit dizzy, alcohol still running in his veins, he was a bit nauseous and there was still a slight bitter aftertaste in his mouth. He brushed it off and looked at Matthew still sitting and looking back at him.

Wyatt: “You getting up?”

Matthew thought for a second before getting on his feet, towering over the shepherd before his lips parted into words again.

Matthew: “Yeah, let’s go”

They walked out of the room and Wyatt met with the faint smell of pizza and could see people lying on the couches, some on the carpet and they could see Haufiku sleeping while sitting next to the table. Matthew walked closer and gently nudged him.

Matthew: “hey, sorry to wake you up…we are leaving”

Haufiku grunted a bit before speaking half asleep and his eyes barely opening.

Haufiku: “Did you sort it out?”

Matthew looked confused and Haufiku straightened in his seat before looking at Wyatt and the gator, seeing there was still that obnoxious feeling in the air, he sighed and simply offered a smile.

Haufiku: “It was nice having you guys around, next time, right?”

Matthew scratched his neck and Wyatt simply smiled politely.

Matthew: “Thanks to you…see you on Monday”

Haufiku: “That’s tomorrow…I think we are already Sunday”

Matthew internally facepalmed and just walked to the door with Wyatt.

Matthew: “yeah, see ya”

Haufiku: “See ya, Wyatt, when the wave comes, just go along with it”

Haufiku smiled a bit before lowering his head again to sleep. Wyatt was confused at those word but shrugged it off before walking out the dorm room, followed by Matthew. They walked once more in these hallways, together yet as if there was a cliff between them. No words, just the sound of their pace. They went across a hallway and could hear a weird noise sort of muffled as if by the walls, probably coming from on of the rooms. The closer they got that room, the louder it was and the clearer it became, Wyatt’s ears reddened while walking faster. Matthew walked beside him and tried breaking the ice with this.

Matthew: “I guess, some people are having fun early”

Wyatt didn’t look at the gator and the latter just felt ignored and simply looked away. His eyes widened when the shepherd replied.

Wyatt: “Aren’t you like a Mormon or something? How come you find that…act, fun?”

Matthew felt his face sting in a blush and he sheepishly replied.

Matthew: “I am not a Mormon, and I didn’t mean necessarily that it was fun…more like an expression”

Wyatt: “Sure thing”

Matthew: “hey! Well anyway, you hungry?”

Wyatt: “No”

Wyatt’s stomach grumbled loudly in contradiction and he felt embarrassed.

Matthew: (*smiling*) “I think your tummy disagrees”

Wyatt: “No shit sherlock”

Matthew laughed and gently slapped Wyatt’s back making the latter turn to look at him.

Wyatt: “Fuck you”

Matthew simply shook his head and spoke.

Matthew: “We could make a detour then, fetch something to eat at the grocery store next to my place, then we can drive back to yours”

Wyatt simply shrugged and put his hands in the pocket of his hoodie.

Wyatt: “Yeah, whatever”

Matthew: “Are you usually this grumpy when you are hungry, or is this your natural state?”

Wyatt: “And you, are you always this pestering?”

Matthew: “Simply asking don’t bite me”

Wyatt: “You would die if did”

Matthew: “Is that a threat?”

Wyatt: “Do you feel threatened?” Matthew chuckled and lifted his hands in peace.

Matthew: “Please, I am so scared of your tiny bitty fangs”

Wyatt pouted and his tail swished making Matthew laugh and bring him closer in a side hug.

Matthew: “Oh, come on now, where is the confidence gone?”

Wyatt felt his body pressing against the side and chest of the gator as the latter’s voice and laugh made it vibrate. He blushed and tried to distract himself, yet somehow enjoying the proximity. Matthew guided them in a sort of drunk walk mixed with a sort of dance making Wyatt chuckle.

Wyatt: “What the fuck are you doing?”

Matthew: “What? You don’t like drunk walking in the hallway of the dorm building whereas you shouldn’t be there in the first place?”

Wyatt: “That’s’ oddly specific”

Matthew chuckled and loosened the hug, simply letting his hand on the shepherd’s shoulder.

Matthew: “So, whachu wanna eat?”

Wyatt: “Honestly…it’s too early for anything heavy”

Matthew: “Right…then simple sandwiches”

Wyatt: “Yeah”

With that, they left the building and sneaked out, using the same route. It wasn’t long before they reached the car of the gator. Wyatt hoped in and fasten his belt. He rested his elbow on the door and looked outside while Matthew started the engine and drove off. The drive was silent, but unlike the walk in the hallway, that strange long-distance feeling had weakened. Matthew glanced at Wyatt fighting against sleeping.

Matthew: “How about you sleep a bit okay? I will wake you up when we have to get back at your house”

Wyatt wanted to protest but he was still feeling heavy and simply pressed a bit more against the window to sleep. Matthew smiled and focused back on driving. After minutes of an easy ride, he reached the grocery store next to his block. He parked the engine and turned off the car. It was pretty chill in the car, especially since the heating system was not working anymore. He looked at Wyatt and just loosened his belt so that he sleeps more comfortably. The gator smiled as he could see the shepherd wasn’t looking as sad as earlier…he went out of the car and went in the store. Wyatt was feeling relieved somehow, his sleep was calm…then (*thud*) There was a ringing noise loud in his ears and he felt like he had been hit. He opened his eyes in confusion and realized he was on the ground. He first noticed some shoes then legs and tails of several individual. He was trying to get up but a voice rose.

?: “Move and you die, mutt”

Wyatt looked up to see, a masked male, reptile based on the bit of the latter’s hands showing…and with them a metallic bat. Wyatt looked around to see he was surrounded by at least 8 masked males. They had a curious fashion, close to punk rock musician…albeit their masks and their bats.

?: “what’s a mutt doing here? Having a little nap?”

??: “The mutt was on the passenger side”

?: “oh? So, there’s more?”

Wyatt was half in confusion and half drunk, he thought of make his way past them but considering their stature and their midrange weapons…it would be unlikely to be successful. Wyatt’s attention, was brought down when he felt something drop on his hand. He looked and widened his eyes, it was blood. He soon brought his hand closer to his head and noticed he was wounded, probably from the fall or was he thrown to the ground? He looked up again at the reptiles who spoke again.

?: “So, mutt, empty your pocket”

Wyatt remembered having been powerless…against the shark but only because he was drunk and drugged…but right now, he was not simply going to comply. Wyatt soon started to get on a knee to stand, one of the reptiles immediately aimed for a bat attack. The reptile’s hand widened as he realized the bat was not in his hand anymore and was sent flying a bit off the side. Before he could realize, the shepherd was already lowering in a tackle and as if it was a football session, he tackled the reptile down. Others then quickly snapped from their surprise and also aimed for swings. Wyatt quickly rolled to the side avoiding the closest attack that stroke the reptile already on the ground who yelled in pain. Wyatt rose to his feet and looked at them. They didn’t seem impressed and one of them charged again. Wyatt’s leg rose incredibly fast in a kick aiming for the reptile’s wrist forcing the latter to be disarmed. Wyatt spun on his other leg and jumped slightly to send another kick this time a pushing one aimed for the reptile’s chest taking his breath away and sending him back to one of his friends. Wyatt’s knee was up and he was looking at them with defiance as he set on his guards. The reptiles didn’t seem to care and rushed all at once, albeit those who were sent down already. Wyatt’s kicks were fast, maybe not powerful but precise, he managed to defend against the two coming before him. Another caught him from behind and locked his arms under the shepherd’s armpit in a headlock. Wyatt could feel the reptile was strong, as he couldn’t free from the lock. Meanwhile, another went for an attack with the bat. Wyatt quickly lifted his legs and used the fact of being held by the reptile to be off ground. He deflected the attack of the reptile and wrapped his legs around his arm then pulled him closer and send his legs down, dislocating the arm of the attacker. The one holding him squeezed his necked trying to force the shepherd to get down, Wyatt gritted his teeth and tried getting off the hold. Others quickly managed to grab the shepherd’s limbs and brought him down violently.

Wyatt felt his head hit the ground and he was stunned, he looked at them, as they were trying to run for his pockets, he moved and then yelled “MATT-“

One of them punched him in the face forcing the shepherd to shut his muzzle. Blood filled his nostrils. He managed to get one leg free and kicked its holder then tried kicking the other holding his other leg but was punched again. They didn’t seem to find anything on him and were cursing.

One had even started to get to the car. The latter saw something moving fast in the corner of his eye. He barely managed to turn his head that he was punched hard in the face. The others looked and few tried to aim for bats attack which only led them to be punched as well.

Soon, the others just grabbed their friends up and flee. Wyatt felt stunned and saw the sky and a muffled voice, then he saw a familiar face.

Wyatt: “Mat…”

Wyatt passed out as Matthew held him up and felt his blood boil and he felt guilty for letting the shepherd alone again...

.

.

.

Wyatt woke up to a stingy sensation on his head and his eyes soon met that of a reptile which made him jolt and rise his fists but he soon lowered them when he realized he knew them, at least he knew the person.

Wyatt: “Dr. Grace?” The female gator looked worriedly at him and got closer.

Grace: “Sorry honey, you are safe now, Aaron will be back in a few, he went just buying few medical items…”

Wyatt held his head and it stung making him hiss before looking at her in confusion.

Wyatt: “what…happened?”

Grace: “Aaron said some Komodo punks attacked you and he brought you here…you were wounded severely on the head; it is a miracle you didn’t die”

Wyatt tried to recollect but he couldn’t remember being hit in the head.

Wyatt: “I was punched…I don’t understand”

Grace: “Based on the blue, the swollen area and the slight wound, I would say you were hit by a metallic object, not a sharp one though”

Wyatt widened his eyes, that ringing noise he felt before waking to those rascals, it was because he was hit by a bat? While he was sleeping? Who does that?! He looked shocked and spoke.

Wyatt: “I think, I was hit by a bat while I was sleeping”

Grace looked very sorry and gently put the medikit away, she was done anyway.

Grace: “I am sorry, I don’t understand why he left you in the car…this neighborhood is…well, let’s say they don’t really like dog kins, I don’t even think they like anything but their own kin…I am very sorry, honey, it is very horrible”

Wyatt: “It’s okay…at least I am not dead”

Grace felt like saying something then Matthew opened the front door, which made her rise and walk to the door of the room, they were actually in Matthew’s room. Grace looked at Wyatt.

Grace: “Aaron knows how to administer these drugs; I will let you two be…I should call your parents to let them know what happened”

Wyatt: “No…please, don’t. knowing my father, things will just escalate more than necessary…I am fine”

Grace: “Honey, your father should know you were assaulted…”

Wyatt looked down in defeat then spoke.

Wyatt: “I will tell him myself, thank you, Dr. Grace”

Grace: “I told you; Grace is enough or auntie if you feel like it”

Wyatt felt a bit flustered then he sheepishly replied.

Wyatt: “Yes, auntie”

She smiled a bit before leaving. Soon, Matthew entered and his eyes were full of fear and pain.

Matthew: “Wyatt!” He rushed to the latter and let the drugs down before hugging Wyatt tightly.

Matthew: “I am very sorry, I never thought anyone would just pick on you at 4 AM…I am terrible, I said I wasn’t going to let you alone again and this is what happens, I am very very sorry…I thought you would…(*tightening the hug with his eyes closed*)”

Wyatt’s chin was on the gator’s shoulder and he was thinking, to be fair, it wasn’t much of the gator’s fault. None of those previous times, were…yet the gator felt like it was his responsibility…it touched Wyatt but the thing was, the gator was somehow right this time, the gator knew this neighborhood was not friendly for his kin and still brought him here…

Wyatt: “Matthew…it’s fine, I am just…hungry”

Matthew pulled away a bit and looked down at him. Wyatt saw for the first time, the gator’s eyes filled with tears.

Matthew: “I am so, sorry, I was reckless and I almost lost you too”

Wyatt: “What?”

Matthew realized words had slipped his tongue and his eyes widened before he looked down hurt.

Matthew: “I am dangerous…if you stay close to me, I am afraid it will get even worse, today it was some punks…tomorrow it might be bigger danger…”

Wyatt was confused and his voice cracked a bit.

Wyatt: “I don’t understand. It’s not your fault, those punks probably would have attacked anyone else…and those previous time, with the shark, it was my own negligence, at the party, I was at fault again, so I don’t understand…I don’t understand what you are saying”

Matthew: “I am scared Wyatt…scared you could get hurt because I wasn’t there…scared you could end up dead because I brought you in vile places”

Wyatt: “Mistakes, happen, it’s al-“

Matthew looked at Wyatt in the eyes.

Matthew: “I…”

Wyatt spoke again, interrupting him.

Wyatt: “Matthew…listen, you worrying so much is already enough…it’s okay, I am fine, really, you can’t be everywhere at the same time, and not always where I am…you can’t control fate, what happens, happens…so stop killing yourself over it, I hate that look of sadness in your eyes…I prefer your big goofy smile."

Matthew’s eyes opened wide and he felt his face flush and tickles…he looked flabbergasted.

Matthew: “Wyatt…”

Wyatt hugged the gator tight.

Wyatt: “It’s okay, I am okay”

Matthew hugged tighter and his big hands tried to bring Wyatt even closer. Their chest joined as their hearts beat in sync.

Matthew: “ I l-“

The door opened and it was a young gator, one of Matthew’s brothers. He was sleepwalking and Matthew sighed before getting up and picking him up.

Matthew: “I will be back in a second…”

Wyatt looked at him and smiled a bit and nodded as the gator left. Wyatt lied down again, closing his eyes and inhaling the scent of Matthew…he realized he was in the gator’s bed. Soon, he was holding one of the pillows and hugged it, feeling ticklish and fuzzy inside.