Self-Conscious

Kim would have liked to work on training a few of her skills, but she had a feeling that they should take a day to just take it easy. No matter how well rested they might feel at any point, not doing much that day felt like it would be the better option.

Although, while Elin's dress looked like it wasn't a color she liked, Elin looked happy to have that back, although Kim still found it amusing how she looked when she made her mad dash to the bed before the maid could answer the door and collect their things from Elmo.

Currently they were sitting in the banquet hall, near the head of the table, with Elin sitting next to Samantha and Kim across the table from her. There were sandwiches on the table, some filled with meat and some filled with a kind of jelly that Kim couldn't place, but was rather enjoyable. The sandwiches had already been refilled twice by the servants, so Kim was sure that they could eat their fill without having to worry about running out.

"What can you tell me about what you've been doing?" Samantha asked over lunch, her eyes glittering with excitement.

Apparently they hadn't gotten to a few subjects that the girl wanted to talk about, although Kim doubted that the girl could get to all of them in one sitting. Mostly because Kim doubted the girl could remember all of the subjects she wanted to know about. Which was typical for anyone.

"Well, we fought…" Kim trailed off, suddenly realizing she wasn't sure anymore exactly every creature they'd fought.

"There were skeletons, kobolds, lizardmen, a troll, a giant spider, goblins, and doppelgangers," Elin supplied after Kim was quiet for a few minutes, sounding sure of what she said.

Kim merely sighed. How Elin could remember that when she wasn't sure herself, she could only wonder. Though, it did tell her that Elin wasn't as carefree as she appeared at times. That she did have a good memory and head on her at times.

"You mean, in addition to people, right?" Samantha asked as she stared at a sandwich in her hands, looking a little sad.

"Why should I mention that?" Elin asked, as she bit into a sandwich.

"Because of what happened last night," Samantha answered, looking at Elin, her eyes glistening with tears.

"Don't worry about last night," Kim told her. "We didn't mention that because we didn't want you thinking about it."

To be honest, Kim hadn't said anything about it because she'd only been thinking of what they'd done before they'd met Samantha, disregarding the people they'd fought on the road here. Kim hadn't even thought about the night before, but she had a feeling that the girl might not take that the best way if she phrased it like that.

Samantha nodded. "Well, what was it like fighting all those creatures?" she said, clearly trying to get her mind off of the memories of the night before that had resurfaced for her.

Kim had no problem doing that. While she suspected sleeping with the girl would get her mind off the night before the fastest, given the fact that Samantha was ten, not only would the act turn her stomach, but she was confident that it would do more harm than good anyway. Now if the girl was at least eight years older, preferably more than that, then Kim thought she might be willing to give it a try, but since she wasn't she could only wonder why the subject had even come up in her mind.

Sighing, as she pushed those weird thoughts out of her mind, she forced herself to focus again on this situation at hand and what Samantha had just asked.

"Well, each one was different," Kim said. "However, for the most part, we fought as a team, Elin and Elmo were behind Jonas and me, where they weren't as easy to target as me or Jonas."

Samantha nodded, her eyes showing she wasn't putting the events of the previous night behind her very well. The girl then opened her mouth to say something more, but stopped when the door to the banquet hall was opened and the King, his son, Elmo, Jonas, Owen, and Bart entered.

"I see we weren't the only ones who thought about this," the king chuckled.

Samantha nearly tipped her chair over as she scrambled to her feet to offer a curtsy to the king. Samantha's face looked flustered, as if she wasn't sure what to do after that and Kim suspected she hadn't realized the king was still in her family's residence. Although, Kim suspected that Samantha or anyone in her family would dare to ask the king to leave or anything like that.

"No need to stand on formalities," the king told Samantha, holding up his hand to acknowledge her curtsy.

Samantha nodded and then returned to her seat, the troubled look on her face not going away. Kim couldn't help but wonder if part of that was because it was her home where the king had been attacked. Or maybe it was that she just wasn't used to being around the king.

"So, anything new?" Kim asked, the others, hoping to at least diffuse the situation for Samantha. To give her a chance to at least gather herself before she joined the conversation again.

Jonas sighed as he sat down, having had changed into what he'd worn before they went to that party. "Well, we learned that the chamberlain had teamed up with one other person for the attack last night, but he'd lost contact before then, so he merely went ahead with the plan, despite the fact that he wasn't supposed to have been the one in charge during the attack," Jonas answered.

"to think that his partner was the captain of the guard for this estate," Owen said, sighing. "If anything, I'd have thought the duke of this estate would have been in on it as well with two of his top people being behind it."

"Garret was part of it?" Samantha said, choking on her words as her eyes started to overflow with tears.

Owen looked like he'd been slapped, apparently not having known who Samantha was. Kim felt like she should beat the crap out of Owen for not having thought to even ask why Samantha was still here, given all the other guests, aside from them, the king, and his son, had left hours ago. Although, she suspected that doing so might make Samantha more upset.

"Who's Garret?" Jonas asked, his tone soft, which made Kim wonder if he didn't know who Samantha was or if he was trying to help the girl out. Or maybe it was her annoyance with Owen that was bleeding over to Jonas.

"Garret was the captain of the guard," the girl replied as tears flowed down her face, her voice thick with sorrow. "He was always kind to me." Samantha paused as she hiccoughed. "Why would he be part of that?"

Kim sighed, not sure how to answer that, though she doubted any of them could come up with an adequate answer. Though, Samantha seemed at least a little comforted when Elin put her hand on hers.

Kim glanced at the others and it was clear even the king wasn't sure what to say about that. Though, she at least took some small comfort that Owen stayed silent, rather than sticking his foot in his mouth again.

"Would you like to tell me about him?" Elin asked, her gentle voice seeming to draw Samantha in like a lighthouse guiding a ship lost in a stormy sea.

Kim was glad she wasn't in that position. She never knew what to say in times like these. If the person was just upset about something, she had ways to handle those, but when it came to betrayal, a significant loss, or anything along those lines, she only tended to make more of a mess of those things.

As Elin started talking with Samantha, Kim got up from the table, having had enough of the sandwiches to have sated her hunger already. While she wouldn't have minded more, she didn't want to listen in on that conversation. She had already started tuning out what Elin was saying, but she ignored the looks she got from the others.

She didn't want to deal with anyone at the moment, although she didn't really understand why. Just that she wanted to be alone. Which is how she'd usually preferred to be. At least until she met Elin.

For some reason, she felt like she was around ten herself at that particular moment, walking through the halls, making her way outside. Not only did she see everything around her as if she was as tall as she had been when she was ten, but also was moving along the pace she would have at that time, all down to her shorter stride.

In her mind she couldn't help imagine there was a phantom shadow who was next to her, but it never reached out for her to take her hand or anything. Although, she kept expecting it to. Like she felt like it had before in her life.

The shadow wasn't a presence that invoked fear or a sense that it was hostile towards her, but rather like it was a friend. She couldn't explain what it was or why she was feeling this way.

Only that she felt her chest beginning to tighten, tears coming unbidden to her eyes. To try and dispel the sensation, she began at first to job, then to run. She paused only long enough to open the doors to the outside when she reached the front hall.

She rarely ever had this sensation before, but each time she always tried to outdistance herself from it, which usually left her worn out. Another thing that she hated. Especially when the tears wouldn't stop.

She had no idea what was behind this, but she knew she didn't want to know. Whatever it was, was best left behind. She didn't need to know. She was fine by herself, even if that meant she would die alone.

Thinking of Elin, Kim wondered if her relationship with the young woman would have been possible anyway, Both of them planned on going back to their own world, so why not prepare for that to happen now? They'd essentially be torn apart then anyway, so why delay the inevitable?

It wasn't until Kim tripped over something she hadn't noticed on the ground and fell that she noticed Jonas had followed her. Which merely only added to her irritation, although she still got up and continued her run. She certainly wasn't going to talk to a man about what was going on inside her.

Even one she couldn't understand why she trusted so much when she didn't really know the first thing about. Even what he'd said about himself she couldn't really be sure was true. Even if she had Owen's system and could tell what others were thinking, she wasn't sure if she would care to hear what thoughts Jonas had.

In the end, she found herself tiring out earlier than she had expected. Although, as she thought about it, she really should have expected it, given how low her stamina was when she woke up. Not that she really understood why. Or really cared for that matter.

However, it did allow Jonas to catch up to her. Which wasn't something she was really happy about. She'd rather just have broken her neck when she'd tripped. At least then she'd have an easy out.

So, as she heard Jonas approach her from behind, she closed her eyes and turned around to face him.