chapter 10 - Your safe

Esme's POV

I'm feeling really sick and anxious. I can hear Finn's voice but I can't concentrate on it. I usually can but not right now. The maid that entered my room looked a lot like Elisa. I don't know how many more beatings I can take. It hurts too much my body hurts too much for it to keep happening.

I see Alpha Jaxon and I'm instantly scared that he's going to hit me. I tell everyone to get out I need everyone to go.

"Please don't hurt me. Don't hurt me no more" I see Finn going to him and I know he's going to send him away.

"Get him out Finley please get him out" but he doesn't. He comes back and he tells me that Alpha Jaxon wants him to go and get me something to eat. I'm clinging onto him for dear life but he tells me I'm safe.

I repeat his words with him and he's soon off out of the room.

"Hello, Esme. Natalie who was here before.."

"She's not to come closer to me. I don't know how much more I can take of this. It hurts" I tell him. I needed him to know not to send her in again. It feels like hours have passed but it's only minutes.

"Okay. That's fine sweetheart but I need you to calm down for me okay"

'Why is he being nice to me? What's he planning'

He steps closer and I can feel myself shaking rapidly. My heart's hammering in my chest and I'm ready to scream at him when I feel his big hands on me. I'm curled in a ball in the corner of the room on the floor and I want to move back but I can't.

"Get off me, don't touch me, you don't touch me"

"Okay. I'm sorry. Can I sit down here with you?"

I nod in agreement but I'm looking at the floor. I don't know why but I feel a bit safer at the moment and I can smell his scent. I don't hold my hopes up but it makes me feel calmer.

I hear his knees cracking when he sits down and I can tell he isn't used to doing this whereas me, I am used to laying on the floor and sitting on the floor. He makes a weird sound when he sits down and in my mind, I'm laughing slightly.

"I'm not used to doing this. My knees don't agree with me here" he tells me like it's a secret I'm supposed to keep.

"I have some clothes here for you if you want to have a shower and you can get changed into these. There are leggings and jeans or tracksuit bottoms here with big tops if you feel more comfortable with them instead" he tells me. Why is he bothering me?

"Thank you Alpha" I say still looking down at the floor.

"You don't need to Alpha me Esme. Please just Jaxon will do" he tells me.

"I'm sorry Alpha but I can't do that"

Without looking at him I pick up the clothes after he's put them on the floor and I'm making my way to the bathroom to have a shower. It's warm?

"Why's it warm? I ask him.

He looks shocked.

"All showers are warm Esme why do you ask?"

Before I could answer, Finn entered the room and explained how we never had a warm shower before. I see Alpha Jaxon's hands tense beside his sides and his jaw clenches. He's also looking down at the floor when he speaks.

"Sorry Alpha I didn't mean to interrupt your conversation" he says as he moves closer to me to give me a glass of water and a tablet.

"Please just Jaxon will do fine"

"I'm sorry Alpha we can't"

"And the looking at the floor? Why are you not looking at me" he says quietly.

"We were never allowed to look at Alpha Dylan or Alpha Bobby unless told to. We weren't allowed to answer questions without full permission or we would face consequences" he tells him back.

I take a drink but I don't take the tablet yet. Just as Alpha Jaxon starts talking someone enters the room and I accidentally drop the glass on the floor. I'm barefooted and I am stepping on glass which hurts like a bitch and I instantly feel bad.

"I'm so sorry I didn't mean...I didn't mean to drop it I'll pay for it I'm so sorry"

"Oh honey please don't worry about it. Let's get you off this glass shall we" the woman in front of me says to me. She seems nice and gentle. I take her hand and she gets me to lift my feet up so Fin can touch the glass and he gets all pieces out of my feet without hurting me and she leads me into the room.

Finley's POV

"That is a first" I hear Finley say to Alpha Jaxon.

"What's a first," he asks back.

"She never lets anyone help her not even touch her. Apart from me anyway but she has anxiety attacks towards anyone who gets close to her. Males especially. No offence. She doesn't even let our mother or father touch her"

"No non taken it's fine and can I ask why?"

"I'm a little surprised she let you in and sit with her, I'm going to be honest with you here because a part of my life is with her and she's the only person in this world I truly love. But in her mind, we did bad and bad people don't deserve help nor do we deserve anything good. She never really understood why they would just want to get rid of us but her mind never accepted the fact that they were to blame so she blamed herself instead. I just want what's best for her she's been through hell and back and I can't make her happy on my own it's hard enough to keep her calm sometimes that I sleep next to her at night." I say back while Jaxon is watching me closely.

"Let me help. Please. She's my mate and even if it takes a while I want to help you and her as best I can. I've mind-linked the entire pack to let me know if they need to inform her of anything or deliver anything to her to let me or you know so you can do it or hopefully me. Trust me when I tell you I won't reject her. I won't hurt her."

"I trust you Alpha Jaxon I do" I tell him. After a while, I ask if it's okay to head to my room to have a shower and to get something to eat and the alpha is more than happy to stay and help with esme. The lady in front of me is his mother and she's lovely. I believe her name is Robyn. I'll have to remember that one. Very unique.

After Esme had calmed down a little and when his mom had cleaned all her wounds she asked Esme if she would prefer a bath and she agreed so his mom got up and ran a bath instead.

Esme's POV -

For some reason I wanted Jaxon to stay here in my room. I felt safe around him.

I politely told her that it was okay and that I would be okay but I asked if I could have something small to eat and she was more than happy to do it for me. 

I pick up my clothes and towel and I head into the bathroom and the bath looks amazing. I instantly sink into it and I can feel my muscles relaxing a little bit.

"Esme, are you okay?" I hear Alpha Jaxon's voice.

"I'm okay thankyou Alpha"

"I'll be right outside if you need me okay"

'I like him and I think he likes us too' calls out Alana.

'I'm not worthy of being liked let alone loved. He will see that in due time Alana' I tell her back. I don't want to get her hopes up for them to just get torn out again.

I finish in the bathroom and I'm just getting dressed when I'm told that dinner is waiting for me. I use the towel to mop up any water from the floor and around the bath as well. I open the door and Jaxon's sitting on the floor where he knows I feel safer and I begin to eat. I can't eat much because I haven't eaten properly for months maybe even years, so whatever I don't eat he happily puts aside and asks me if I'm okay.

"Can I ask you something Alpha?"

"Anything," he says back while stretching out his legs.

"Why haven't you rejected me yet? Everything you're doing for me and Finn right now why?"

"I've waited almost 4 years for you. Don't think like that. You're beautiful and you're my mate. I wouldn't see any other reason to reject you beautiful"

I'm blushing. I'm fucking blushing over his words.

I smile at his words and he's instantly smiling back at me.

"Esme, can I ask you something? Please"

"Okay," I say to him. I don't expect anything from him.

"Will you give me a chance? A chance to prove to you that whatever you're feeling right now isn't what I am going to do. I want you but I'm willing to wait for you to be ready for me"

"But you're an alpha. And I'm a nobody"

"You're not a nobody. Your Esme. You're my friend. You're my mate the one I want to love and protect for the rest of your life. It's shit at the cards you got dealt and you deserved none of that but your brother cares deeply about you. He hasn't left your side since I met him and I want to be that person you deserve" I start crying but not because he's upset me. I'm crying because he's been nice to me. I do the one thing I never expected myself to do and I fling my arms around him. I instantly regret it though.

"Alpha..."