123 – Samael vs Samael (2)

''Samael, wake up!''

Samael heard someone shouting his name, but since it didn't sound like a call for danger, he didn't react right away and decided to keep resting.

It seemed the person who shouted didn't like that, as it began shaking him quite hard.

With a hint of annoyance, Samael woke up and was about to curse the person, but what he wanted to say and what came out of his mouth were two different things.

''Good morning to you too, Tali.''

That made him pause, and slowly the situation he found himself in returned to him. He looked around and immediately recognized his room in the Normandy.

The problem was that, in this cycle, he rarely visited the ship—if at all—so there was no reason for it to have a room for him.

'That's right... I was facing the other me, then he snapped his fingers and now I'm in this situation.'

While the whole experience was shocking—having a Reaper counterpart inside his mind—at least he now had answers to what was wrong with him.

Still, he didn't like the fact that he had been manipulated for so long and played right into the enemy's hands. Now, all he wanted to do was defeat the other him and correct what he had done wrong.

But how he would accomplish that was the problem. Take this situation, for example: he was in a place that was supposed to be impossible, all while unable to express what he wanted to say or do anything at all.

To further complicate matters, the situation started to get even weirder.

Tali, the person who woke him up, still had her suit on. That immediately set alarms on Samael's. He slowly deduced, based on everything that had happened to him, that he was inside one of his memory. Which, he didn't know yet.

He didn't know how the other part managed to do that, but he was powerless to change anything about it. So, he had no choice but to go with the flow while trying to figure out what exactly this situation was and how to escape it.

Anyway, the bizarre situation continued, and Samael, who had no control over his body—it was as if he were a passenger, a movie watcher—went on with his day.

He met with the whole crew, which was clearly different from what he knew. As mentioned before, Tali still had to wear her suit, Jack wasn't with Miranda and hadn't grown her hair out, and Zaeed Massani was also present—someone he hadn't included in his crew in this last cycle. Zaeed wasn't a bad man, but he was far from good. He was, for better or for worse, the kind of person you want close in tough times but far away when things are normal.

He was a complicated man with an explosive personality.

Although he didn't interact with the mercenary during this last cycle, he ensured he was on the LD ranks, receiving a lot of money and protection. After all, the man had helped a lot in many cycles, so this was the least he could do.

Shepard was more battle-hardened, Garrus was quite shy, and the strangest thing was that he wasn't an LD owner.

From what he could gather in this brief but extended period, LD didn't even exist. This meant that this was a memory from a past cycle when he was still a rookie.

As time passed, he interacted with everyone in the crew. By the end of the day, he came to a startling realization: he was, remarkably, watching his first cycle.

It was hard to admit, but back then, he was indeed a newbie. He tried hard to get close to the crew—something some didn't appreciate—but at that point in time, Samael didn't care. He just wanted to bond with them, as they were dear to him.

Even worse was his combat performance. He wasn't the worst, but he clearly wasn't the best. He lost to random crewmates, not to mention his family.

To make matters worse, the day ended, and the situation didn't improve. He was trapped inside his body with no control over it, only able to watch as he relived his life.

A day turned into two, then a week, a month, and a year, then many more. Stuck inside his body, Samael couldn't even sleep. He was 'awake' all the time and used that time to think about what he could do next. But nothing came to mind, and time continued to pass, leaving his mind tired.

This was to be expected, as no one is meant to be awake for so long. Samael was getting by only through sheer will and meditation to keep himself distracted.

Finally, the day Samael dreaded arrived: the day he turned 28. As the years passed, he was both curious and anxious to see what would happen to him when that moment arrived.

This cycle unfolded just as he remembered: they won using the Red Ending, effectively killing all machines—both ally and foe—and now they would rebuild what was left. Definitely a far cry from the ending he wanted, but it was the best outcome with the things they had at that moment.

With trepidation, the clock struck midnight, and darkness enveloped both versions of Samael's vision. When the light returned, Samael quickly looked around to see what had changed.

To his shock, he found himself still in the same place, but it was the others him that had changed.

Samael found the situation bizarre. He doubted this was his machine counterpart's plan, as it didn't make sense at all. "If he wanted to take over my body, he just has to kill me... unless he can't for some reason."

"But what is that reason...?"

Again, Samael could only watch as his past self lived his life. Still a newbie, but stronger and smarter than before. This version of Samael was smooth in his approach, well-liked by everyone, and used what he learned in his first cycle to get rich.

Time passed, and the year he turned 28 arrived once more. The memories of his second cycle matched his own to a T. His naive self heavily nudged Shepard towards the blue ending, where she joined the Reapers' mind frame and controlled them. He originally wanted to be the one to do that, but she beat him to it.

The Reapers retreated, and time passed once more. When he hit 28, darkness enveloped him once again. When he opened his eyes, he found himself in his third cycle.

By now, Samael knew something had gone wrong with the machine's plan, and he was doing his best to catch any clues that might be relevant. His will was still strong, and he pushed through the years of solitude.

The third cycle came and went, as did the fourth, and fifth, each time with his memories aligning perfectly, until finally, something the machine mentioned happened.

This time, Samael, almost driven mad by the cycles, decided to be the one to choose the blue ending. Only, this wasn't supposed to happen now; it was meant to occur in a later cycle.

'So this is the beginning...'

The machine had mentioned that after Samael chose this 'route,' he went mad and entered a catatonic state for various cycles. Now, Samael was going to witness that unfold right before his eyes.

Time passed, and soon after, Samael from the sixth cycle chose the blue ending, hoping to break the time loop he was in. Only, it backfired horribly, and this decision would have consequences that would alter many cycles to come.

Still, choosing the blue ending also granted Samael some insights. He didn't exactly die in the sixth cycle; he only joined the Reapers' consciousness. This meant that the other Samael was still there in a sense, allowing his mind to observe how the Reapers operated as a whole.

"This is an opportunity that I assume no other person has had."

Samael knew it was a chance—even though he could do nothing—to learn and try to devise a plan of sorts.

But soon, reality proved harsh for him.

"While I'm one of the smartest minds in the galaxy, this is above my pay grade... Hell, I still have no idea how the Leviathans built the Reapers."

The opportunity was missed because the gap was too vast. He was watching in real-time but could not make sense of it. He could only try his best to remember everything he was seeing, hoping it might help in the future.

As time passed, Samael watched as the Reapers continued with their lives. They had no other goal besides cleansing the galaxy, a goal all of them considered noble, and they spent most of their time doing nothing.

When Samael of that cycle reached 28 years old, time looped once more. Accustomed to that already, Samael simply waited for the darkness to fade. He was anxious to see if what the machine said was true—that he had spent a significant amount of time in a catatonic state.

Dreading what he would see, Samael opened his eyes as he noticed the light.

"...Sigh."

He hoped it was a lie, but no. The machine was telling the truth. He was watching himself from the seventh cycle lying in a bed, entirely motionless.

This was mentally challenging for Samael as well. He had managed to keep his sanity by watching his past self engage in various activities. Now, he could only spend his days staring at the ceiling of the room he was in.

That thought led him to consider something: "Maybe the machine's counterpart can't kill me because he needs me to willingly give up my body... So he's putting me through all of this in hopes I yield."

That was the most logical thought he could muster after so many years.

"But isn't there a better way? The machine is just showing me my past... why not create mental strain by showing the worst cycles?"

Samael had done many bad things in past cycles, as he genuinely went crazy for a while. Watching those scenes would be damaging, even for his strong mind.

"Anyway, I will make sure nothing goes according to its plans."

With nothing to do, Samael sat down and waited for the cycle to end so he could witness more. "He said I lived for 99 cycles, so there's still 93 to go."

As time passed, Samael watched Valery, even though she was still poor and living in the slums, caring for his past self.

"Mom..."

That alone showed her strength and love for him. He vowed that after he escaped this situation, he would spend more time with her.

"She has already taken the serum, so we have time to do that."

The seventh cycle ended, and then the eighth began, but he was still out of commission. The ninth and tenth cycles passed, and finally, after 13 full cycles, things changed.

When he woke up in the 14th cycle, he was no longer like his past self. Just as the machine had said, it had manipulated his mind to believe it was still on an earlier cycle.

Samael could only watch as this version of himself committed error after error—mistakes he had made before and should have avoided now.

At this point, even Samael's will was growing weary, but he persevered. For how long he would be able to do that, only time would tell.

--

AN UNKNOWN AMOUNT OF TIME LATER

"How many cycles have I watched?"

At first, Samael was able to keep count, but as time passed, he lost track of which cycle he was in. His mind was growing weary of the situation, and to make things worse, these cycles were essentially a repetition of one another, with a few changes here and there.

Of course, he was learning a lot, but his suffering continued.

Right now, it was the end of one cycle. As was normal in this situation, darkness overcame his vision. When Samael opened his eyes, he paused.

"It has come... the time I feared. I don't know if I can handle this."

He was being honest. Samael immediately recognized which cycle he was in.The moment arrived for Samael to relive one of the worst experiences/cycles he had ever endured.

Even before entering the memories, he remembered every detail of what had happened in this cycle—the one where he chose to be indoctrinated.

He had done many terrible things during this cycle, and now he was forced to watch it unfold right before his eyes, unable to do anything.

' God, give me strength.'

Samael's nigthmare had just began.