Chapter 12

There were not many wolves who were not with their true mate, but as little as there was, I feared I would become one of them. Ever since that awful day I had been dragged into a spiral of rash and impetuous decisions, ones my former self would have never had made. Within those decisions was the one that both compelled and dissuaded me to trust Aether; a man, an Alpha no less, who had suddenly been thrust into my life following the events of the mating day.

Despite not knowing him for that long, he was so close to me, both physically and metaphorically. He was my saving grace that day when Alpha Warren made the announcement to the pack, and in the heat of the moment we had almost kissed. It still made my heart flutter to think about it, yet a pang of guilt always rang through me, especially now I had spent the night with Ares.

Spent the night with Ares.

It sounded so...suggestive, and yet, as true mates it would be encouraged by the pack, even celebrated. But that's not what we did, not even close, and I doubt the pack would feel celebratory given the circumstances.

I was still unsure of Aether's intentions, a part of me still suspicious as to why this high ranking male would have an interest in me, and now he was here, confessing that he felt some sort of way towards me, that I meant a lot to him.

"...May?"

"Sorry, what?" I answered as he snapped me out of my thoughts.

He sighed and I looked up at him, slightly embarrassed I had been daydreaming while he had been talking to me.

"Why were you speaking with my mother?" I asked before he could say anything, hoping to redirect the conversation.

He was dangerously close to me, and although I was grateful, he wanted to help me, that phrase getting more and more ambiguous as time went on, I also wanted to have some degree of boundaries to prevent a repeat of what happened before.

"I was talking to your mother about how I can help you," He smiled down at me fondly, "The only way I know to is to train you, build you up as you were before."

"Train me?" I questioned, as sincerely that wasn't what I was expecting. Granted, I knew his pack was famous for their rigorous and harsh training regimes, but I didn't know it would or could be used as a remedy too.

He nodded, his rugged handsomeness making me look away slightly.

"Yes, I saw your potential on the day we met, when you received that award, it impressed me. And now, well to put it bluntly you're a shell of your former self, no offence." He said, adding the last part quickly.

I frowned slightly, but he was right, I had lost weight, I no longer trained with the other wolves, what I once was, was no more. I agreed, nodding at him and gesturing for him to continue.

"The training I'll put you through, it will help take your mind off things. It should allow you to physically gain a defence against the mate pull, so it grows weaker the stronger you get." He explained, eyes still trained on me.

I looked away again, subconsciously thinking about Ares. Would he feel the mate pull getting weaker? What if we met up again and he senses something is different? And... did I really want to weaken the mate pull? I would have answered myself yes in a heartbeat a few days ago, but now, having spent time with Ares and embraced the mate pull as two mates should...I wasn't so sure.

I couldn't voice that to Aether, though, there was no way he would be content with me seeing Ares, and I doubt he'd be so understanding if I rejected his offer, then I'd have to explain to him why.

But...maybe it wouldn't work, or there would be a way to reverse it. Was it a completely air tight method, had Aether tried it himself.

"Is it...what you did?" I asked, carefully choosing my words.

"What I did?" He asked, then his face fell.

My heart sped up, thinking I'd horribly offended and upset him. I opened my mouth to apologise quickly because despite my curiosity, I didn't want to upset or overstep in any way.

"Let's not talk about that. This is about you." He said curtly, nothing more and nothing less.

I suddenly abandoned my caution, frustrated that he was able to be involved in my business, but not I in his. It may have been painful to talk about, but surely it wouldn't hurt to give some insight on what he experienced too.

I felt guilty about bringing it up, but stood my ground, if we were going to remain friends, acquaintances, or whatever we were, I needed to be let into his mind just as much as he was in mine.

"I... need to know you're being truthful with me..." I began, not backing down when his expression hardened. "Did this work for you, too? How did you find out this was the way to go?"

He looked down at me, a harsh expression on his face, but answered.

"I didn't need to do this. The mate pull was severed."

So, he hadn't tried it? Was I going in blind?

"Severed? Were you that strong already that this method was not needed?" I asked without thinking, the guilt pushed to the back of my mind in place of juvenile curiosity.

"May, please, just drop it." He answered.

I wanted to stop, but my wolf pushed me on. Of course, she wanted to ruin my relationship with the male that wasn't her mate. She wanted my apprehension and distrust to grow.

"No, Aether. You want me to trust you, but you won't even tell me your story. It's not fair, I'm going in blind here." I argued.

"May-"

"Were you lying to me, is that it?" I interrupted quickly, thinking the worst.

Aether looked at me, confused and angry. I knew he was trying to hide it, trying to decipher why I was being so stubborn all of a sudden.

"Of course not, May. I would never lie to you.... this is what I was talking about. You spent time with Ares and your wolf...she's planting doubts in your head." He explained.

I scoffed in his face, offended the he was criticising my wolf. She postured in my head, growling lowly and making my eyes turn dark. It was a slippery slope to be on; to Aether it could be seen as a challenge, a warning, disrespectful and offensive.

I turned away, averting my eyes so he wouldn't see it that way, but his own eyes were already narrowing, a rift forming between us.

"I like you, May, but I'm still an Alpha. Reign in your wolf." He uttered from beside me.

"Get out." I said without thinking, frustrated at my wolf, Aether and myself.

He seemed surprised that I had said that, reaching over to touch my shoulder. I almost retracted my statement, but held steady, shrugging his hand off and stepping further back.

"May, I'm trying to help you." He said, almost angry that I had dismissed him.

"Please, just leave." I said bluntly, feeling the mate pull creep up once again as I pushed Aether away.

"What's wrong with you?" He said, a seemingly pleading tone evident in his voice.

I shrugged. "I don't like people keeping secrets."

Aether didn't want to argue, I could see it. I knew my own argument was groundless and juvenile, but I just wanted him to leave. If it came to it, I would try to help myself, make sure I didn't get any worse than now. It would be hard, but doable.

"My mate died, okay. She was killed and she died in my arms. I didn't need to build a defence against the mate pull because it was severed immediately."

The room fell silent, both of us not daring to breath under the heavy tension. I gulped down my pride, embarrassed at what I had done. Such a juvenile, selfish and immature thing. Aether didn't look upset, but a slight tinge of sadness tinted the air.

He cursed under his breath and ran a hand through his hair, eyes darkening. He turned his back to me, walking over to my bed and slumping down with his head in his hands.

I didn't know what to do, but I couldn't stand there awkwardly. I had to comfort him, he was probably reliving the trauma in his head because of me.

I walked over and sat beside him cautiously, wiping my hands down my trousers as I thought of words to say.

"I'm...sorry."

He lifted his head and looked at me, hair ruffled and eyes slightly far away like he was deep in thought.

"It's okay," He nodded, "I just..." Then he trailed off before sliding his hand to the back of my neck and pulling us together in a kiss.