Liquid Courage

"Hey," Alanna said, reaching for a bottle of coke from an ice-filled cooler. "Pass me the bourbon, will you?"

Sasha's lips curled into a mischievous smirk as she handed over the flask.

"Liquid courage" Alanna replied, pouring a generous amount into her glass. Her fingers trembled slightly, betraying her stoic face.

Sasha arched an eyebrow curiously. "That's a good way of putting it."

"Ah, it's just something I read somewhere," Alanna said, avoiding her friend's probing eyes as she stirred the concoction with a straw.

She brought the glass to her lips, the sharp scent of the bourbon rising to meet her. With a tentative sip, the warmth spread through her chest, a blossoming fire that chased away the chill of self-doubt. 

"Better?" Sasha asked, smoke swirling around her like a cloak.

"Much," Alanna confirmed, feeling the edges of her anxiety soften with each sip of the spiked cola. The world seemed to tilt slightly, more manageable, less daunting. For now, the weight of Jessica's stare and the fear of being found wanting dissolved into the amber liquid that promised boldness with its burn.

"Look who decided to grace us with his presence," Sasha's voice sliced through the haze of music and chatter, her tone laced with a mix of amusement and disdain.

Alanna's gaze followed Sasha's nod toward the entrance. There he was, Derek, striding in like he owned the place, flanked by his entourage of leather jackets and smirks that spoke of trouble. The air around them seemed to crackle with an electric charge, a testament to their rebellious aura.

"Wow, Lila made it!" Alanna couldn't help but smile as she spotted their friend, a gentle glow against the backdrop of bad boys. Lila's timid steps were a stark contrast to the confident swagger of her companions, yet there was an undeniable light in her eyes, a spark that transformed her from demure to dazzling.

Before Alanna could revel in the warmth of her friend's arrival, a shadow fell over her spirit. She caught the briefest glimpse of Jessica, red hair glinting under the party lights, slipping through the crowd like a sleek predator. Jessica's arm brushed against Lucas's as they vanished into the depths of the house, and Alanna's heart plummeted like a stone tossed into a deep well.

"Earth to Alanna!" Sasha's hand waved in front of her face, snapping her back to reality. "You look like you just saw a ghost."

"More like a nightmare," Alanna muttered, the sting of bourbon on her lips now bitter with unspoken words. Her grip tightened on the glass, the ice clinking softly, a cold reminder of the distance between dreams and truth. 

"Come on, let's not stand here looking all doom and gloom." Sasha flicked her cigarette away with practiced ease, a fiery comet arching into the night. "Tonight is about fun, remember?"

"Right," Alanna sighed, forcing her shoulders to relax and her lips to curve into a semblance of excitement. But inside, her thoughts churned like dark waves, each one crashing against the fragile shore of hope she had harbored for just a moment too long. 

In a surprising turn of events, Lila nudged one of Derek's companions and whispered something into his ear. Alanna and Sasha exchanged a quick, questioning look, just as the whole group made their way towards them.

Lila's approach was timid, a stark contrast to the swagger of the boys flanking her. Underneath the dim glow of the porch light, their shadows merged into one as they reached where Alanna and Sasha were perched on a wooden bench.

"Found this little lost lamb on the way here," Derek said, his voice smooth like velvet but edged with something harder. He nudged Lila forward with a playful tilt of his head, his eyes never leaving Sasha's face. 

"Uh, yeah, I—they picked me up on my way here," Lila admitted, tucking a strand of her short blonde hair behind her ear. Her gaze flickered towards the tall boy hovering just behind Derek, his intense eyes shadowed by a mess of jet-black hair. "Thanks, Gerard."

"Anytime," Gerard replied, his voice low and enigmatic.

The rest of the boys made themselves comfortable, sprawling out on the grass and starting up conversations about some underground band that Sasha seemed to know all too well.

As she engaged with them, occasionally tossing a flirty glance at Derek, who pretended to be only half interested, a palpable energy buzzed through the night air.

Alanna sat silently on the bench, feeling like a background character in her own life story, an observer of the easy camaraderie that never seemed to include her.

She sat on the ground and drew her knees up, hugging them tight as if shielding herself from the sense of inadequacy that crept over her. Thankfully, she had been smart enough to wear shorts under her skirt.

That was when Noah's head popped out from a french window, his presence like a beacon in the churning sea of revelers.

His eyes swept the crowd until they found hers, holding for a heartbeat—a silent acknowledgment that spoke volumes in the chaos.

He gave a subtle nod, a gesture that might have been inconsequential to anyone else, but to Alanna, it was a lifeline.

It made her feel worse about not letting him come with them.

He turned then, retreating back into the depths of the house, flanked by his friends whose laughter spilled into the night air. Alanna watched him go, her heart a confusing mix of longing and solace.

In that fleeting exchange, she'd been seen—not as the girl on the sidelines but as someone worth noticing.

And of course, she was ignoring the one guy who cared about her.

"Alanna, you okay?" Sasha asked, her tone casual but eyes sharp.

"Yup," Alanna said, forcing a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. She tucked a lock of her wavy brown hair behind her ear and focused on the soft hum of the evening, the distant chatter, and the intimate slice of normalcy Noah had offered, albeit briefly. It was both a balm and a sting, a reminder of her failure as a friend.

Her thoughts trailed to all the ways she seemed to be failing people. Noah. Her parents, obviously.

They would never say it outright, but they clearly weren't interested in her life ever since she declared she wanted nothing to do with her extended family.

Always the black sheep.

Never enough.

Laughter steered her mind away from her dark thoughts. Alanna found herself seated on the cool grass, the earthy scent mingling with the tang of spilled beer around her.

A blonde boy in a leather jacket caught her eye as he plopped down next to her, his presence a sudden warmth at her side.

"Haven't seen you around before," he said, his voice an inviting timbre that cut through the night's chill.

"Alanna," she offered, her name feeling like a secret handed to a stranger.

"Nice to meet you, Alanna," he grinned, taking her measure with eyes that sparkled with mischief. "You smell like... Something I wouldn't mind sipping."

She laughed, a sound that surprised her in its lightness.

He produced a bottle from the depths of his jacket, the liquid inside catching the moonlight. "Here, upgrade your drink. You'll smell even better."

Hesitation brushed her thoughts, but she quashed it, reaching for the bottle with a boldness borrowed from the night.

She poured the amber fluid into her cup, watching it swirl into her watered-down coke. With a tilt of her head, she chugged it, the fire of the alcohol burning away her reservations. 

"Looks like we're moving this party inside!" Derek's voice boomed above the hum of conversations, his hand slicing through the air as if pulling the excitement towards him.