The beginning: Death & Life

Tanya's eyes glazed over as she remembered the last conversation between herself and Adam. He had dislocated her thumb with a thumb-sized cuff, something Tanya suspected was a cigar cutter that had been blunted for that singular use, and had forcefully put her thumbprint on the falsified statement written by him. Her thumb, like the rest of her body, was throbbing with pain but that wasn't the main issue at hand.

Tanya remembered asking if he wasn't afraid of the repercussions of his actions and he answered something along the lines of, "A criminal like you can never bring so much repercussion.", and "I am an advocate of Justice. I'm just doing what must be done." All with a demonic grin on his lips, something that irked her despite her current humbled disposition.

Her execution was meant to be public but then it was made private due to the excitement of the public. The higher-ups were afraid that she might be executed by the angry crowd before she were beheaded by the guillotine (It wasn't there before but was specially made and erected for her singular execution). The fact that she were even being executed by a guillotine earned her the respect and sympathy of a few hardcore criminals. It was a moment that left her with a weird taste in her mouth. It neither eased the tension nor increased it but she felt her anxiety even more than before. That and something else. It was a weird feeling.

Soon, she stood behind the guillotine and faced the live camera that broadcasted her execution to the public who were more than hungry to watch her head roll. There was even a live poll and comment section. The comments were displayed on a big screen for her to observe and witness as the internet raged and on in anticipation for her death. It may have warmed her a bit if she didn't have to read the comments before the execution. With the exception of the very few prayers for her safe journey to the after life or a prayer for her salvation, the netizens were more than eager to watch her blood flow.

She didn't even realize what transpired after but before she could even think anything more, the executioner dragged a black cloth over her head and proceeded to bend her over to secure her in place for a smooth execution. The fear and the dread, along with the inability to cope with the incoming of death, made her panic. She began to groan and scream, the futile and unchanging movement a woman like her, who hadn't accepted her fate, would make.

Tanya struggled and cried. Not for mercy but for a forgiving hand to stretch out towards her and tell her it was going to be fine. Her life flashed before her eyes, telling her that very soon, even the execution would be over. Her mischiefs and evils came to mind and her groans increased along with her hopeless flailing and the online viewers couldn't have been more pleased. Soon, she was overpowered by the executioner, as she was ought and as she had let out a shrill sound of her own, another that outmatched hers came from above and soon the pain came and nothingness followed.

The memories that had flooded her mind in her last moments didn't leave her but instead turned into larger projections, showing her images from through her life time. The ones she had experienced but didn't have the time to feel and the ones she had felt but couldn't experience anymore.

More tears flooded her eyes when she saw her parents and her siblings in her memories. She shut her eyes in a bid to make the in flow of memories and the hurt stop but it was as though her eyes were transparent; she could still see them despite her efforts.

'Mom, dad, my brothers, big sis... I'm sorry... I'm sorry... someone... anyone... please end it... I don't want this... i'm sorry... I'm... huhu!' In the mess of her sobbing, she failed to recognize the blinding light approaching her at a pace. Soon the big and bright blinding light turned into a little ball of light and approached Tanya's sobbing mess.

"Pu?" The light spoke and hopped around her. Surprised by a different sound than the ones haunting her, she looked around to find the source of the sound. "Pu Piu?" The ball of light spoke again and this time Tanya caught the sound and looked towards the direction it had come from. She startled to see a small ball of light make cute sounds and hop around her feet and knees that she had placed on the 'floor'.

Frightened at first, Tanya cowered but, as if sensing her fear and distrust, the ball of light made more 'piu piu pu piu pu' sounds and began bouncing about to get her guard lowered. Soon, Tanya eased up to an extent and hesitantly put her hands forth to reach out to the little ball of light.

"You... Who are you?" Tanya asked and oddly enough, Tanya could have sworn that the ball of light had tilted it's 'head' to look at her before making more chick-like sounds as before and flailing about in a cute manner. The movement brought a small smile to her face.

Despite the fact that the ball of light had jumped unto her hand, Tanya felt as though there were nothing in her hand as the little light practically weighed nothing. The feeling made her feel weird and a bit concerned as to whether everything she had experienced were just a figment of her imagination and soon she began questioning a lot of things, including the reality of her execution, whether it had happened or not. The thought made her shudder and she stopped thinking about it. If this was her imagination and she had finally lost it due to guilt, she'd rather stay here than experience that again. The helplessness and the pain... The suffering and the-

Before she could continue her thought process, a little chirp had caught her and brought her back to her current reality. She looked around and found that her environment had changed to that of a beautiful garden that could belong to a heavenly pavilion. The hanging vines and ivy, the clear crystal lake that surrounded them and the clear and beautiful morning sky that held no sun. It was breathtaking.

Soon, she heard the ball of light chirped again and somewhere inside, as crazy as it sounded, Tanya could understand that this ball of light was calling for her to drink from the fountain that it was perched upon.

Looking at the fountain and then back at the little ball of light, Tanya shrugged at the insecurities and distrust that stemmed in her heart and decided to bite the bullet if there was any.

Crouching down beside the little light, she put her open palm side by side each other, scooped up water from the fountain and drank the ones that she could from her hands. She turned to look at the little light, who was looking back at her with a tilted head as if questioning something that was to happen or a process that was to occur.

Immediately after, Tanya felt funny in her stomach and looked down on her hands that she had drank from. She was supposed to be frightened by the fact that she was literally disintegrating from space but a little hum filled her mind and heart like an unspoken reassurance. Tanya laid down beside the fountain and onto the grass floor with the little ball of light fluttering beside her.

"Don't leave me." She smiled to the little light and again, as though she were experiencing some sort of heroine syndrome, she could clearly see the little light nod and chirp in reassurance that it would follow her wherever she went.

Tanya fell into a very deep sleep but was soon harshly woken by a rough shake. Startled awake by the unusual harshness that didn't match the previous gentleness that she had experienced, she looked up to find an all too familiar figure unbelievably looking down on her with disdain, disappointment and helplessness. Emotions that she was all too familiar with but had long missed from the woman in front of her.

"How could you be sleeping when you were sent to the library to study?!" Tanya's elder sister Bertha, who was supposed to be long dead, complained in a loud voice as she stood in front of her. Living and breathing in every manner.

Calm down Tanya. It might just be another illusion. Tanya said as she shakily took another big breath with her head down as she tried to control her tears but then the next voices she heard made it all too difficult for to do so.

"Ibenine," another painfully familiar voice called out and Tanya's head snapped to the direction of the voice. There she saw her two twin elder brothers, David and Daniel, one on the table and the other on the chair, sitting in beautiful decadence, just like she had always remembered, with goofy smiles on their faces as they called out their elder sister's traditional name with a whine.

"Don't be so harsh." David said. "She's only so young."

"Yeah. She'll be afraid of you if you're so harsh." Daniel said, complimenting his brothers statement.

Tanya's tears had already begun to flow like a river but the next pair of voices broke her heart and made her wheeze.

"What are you guys doing here? And why is the youngest like that." Nathaniel, her living and breathing eldest sibling, asked with a pointed gaze at Tanya whose mind wasn't even taking register of his words.

They're alive. They're not dead. They're breathing. They're...

"Mom, dad. Tanya's behaving weird again." Daniel called out.

"A little bit too weird, if I might add." David added.

Tanya heard a pair rushing footsteps, followed by a more collected one that followed right behind. Soon, her parents, whose dead bodies she was only allowed to view from afar, came to view, breathing and emotion-filled like she had remembered from her youth.

Tanya stood up like a deer with shaky legs and tears flooding down her face. She didn't even know the sounds she was making or where she was going but as soon as she reached her parents who were looking at her with such loving gaze, her legs gave out and she fell to the floor on her knees.

"Hey!" Bertha called out. "What's wrong with you all of a sudden?!" David, Daniel and Nathaniel turned to glare at her in silence and she quickly, begrudgingly, kept her complaints to herself.

Tanya, who didn't even know that she had been groaning like a labouring woman, bowed to her parents feet and wailed loudly. Soon she rised her upper body up and wailed even loudly. Everyone was stunned silent and deep down, they were heartbroken and curious as to what might have made her like this.

"I'm a fool. I'm sorry. I'll be good. I'll be... *hic... Beat me... Ground me but don't leave me again... I'll not complain again... I'll be good..." Tanya wailed to her confused family.

"What the..." Her father murmured as he looked at his also confused wife and as though his words were another trigger, Tanya burst into louder sobs.

"I'll die first this time if it means you people don't leave me. I'll be a military personnel. I won't spite you again. I won't fight with Adam or any of the teachers at the military school. I'll slit my wrists if I say anything contrary to anyone. I'll be good. Please don't die and leave me again." These had her siblings and parents stunned and her brothers rushed to hug her before her sisters and her parents snapped and rushed in to calm her.

Feeling their warmth made her even all the more emotional and teary as she burst out in even louder wails, surrounded by the warmth of the people who had loved her unconditionally in her past. People who had unjustly died, their only sin being that she ever existed in their life.

That day, Tanya couldn't stop. Not until she passed out from her emotional fever still in the arms of her family.