Dear Diary

Guys, I have a big problem.

So I'm thinking of writing my will but, I don't know where to start from or how to share my many assets!

Should I give my life-sized teddies to Laura or Erica? Since I have three, I'll give the brown one to Erica and, the white one to Laura. The last one will be left by my grave after my burial.

Okay now that has been settled with, what flowers should I go for? Roses or forget-me-not's? Roses will perfectly describe how my love life has been, thorny. Maybe I'll go with forget-me-not's; I can't have people forgetting how I've traumatized them.

I'll give Alex my secret stash of chocolate that I hid in my bathroom cabinet and, the tooth brush that I've had since 7th grade—I now use it for my hair.

Ronnie, will have my blonde wig because her hair must be fried from all the bleaching. I'm pretty sure her hair will fall out before I conclude my will.