Get Me Bodied

Joanna's POV

I WOKE UP TO the sound of someone pounding on my door on a cold harmattan morning, which by the way was freaking annoying.

If you haven’t experienced this, please forward me your location because you might be in heaven. Because harmattan was a normal occurrence at my house. Trust me, it happened almost every day.

“Go away!” I grunted and turned my head to my right side as a method to mufje the pounding sound.

“Get up bitch, or I’m breaking this door down this minute,” a voice yelled at my door.

“What the hell!” I shrieked and jumped off the bed to snatch the hammer kept in my room for that kind of situation.

“On the count of three. One. Two?”

I opened the door, ready to hit the burglar, but sighed afterward when I noticed who it was, hands on her hips in a strong stance.

“Tenda, what’s with the pounding? You could have just called.” I groaned and reinstated the hammer to its dwelling place as my heartbeat returned to normal.

“I called five times, but turns out you were in sleepville,” she pronounced and walked in.

“Okay, so what’s the reason for your really early visit? I questioned.

“Because you, my girl, are hanging out with me today.” she beamed and gaHed up at me from where she sat on the bed.

“Why, Lord , why!” I cried dramatically as another planned day of me time was destroyed.

“Because you love me, duh,” she afqrmed in a cocky tone and laid down on the soft mattress as she enjoyed my misery.

“Why the hell is it that any day, and I mean any day I decide to sleep in and have some alone time, it gets ruined?” I lamented, followed by a shiver as the cool harmattan air touched my skin from the slightly ajar window.

“The universe hates you?” she inquired, a sweet smile on her lips and shooed me to the bathroom.

“Have your bath while I choose something for you to wear.”

“You are no fun.” I pouted after she succeeded to get me in the shower and locked the door.

“How could you say that?” Tenda asked through the door as I tugged off my clothes and turned on the shower. “I’m the one trying to add fun into your life by taking you out on this qne day.”

“The weather is cold. The air is filled with dust. The wind is strong and you call it a fine day? ” I disputed in annoyance as I shuddered again when I stepped out of the warm bathroom back into the slightly cold room.

I loved harmattan more than any other season of the year in Nigeria hence it had the combination of all the seasons together. The only thing I hated though was the dusty air.

“But the sun is bright.” she grinned at me as she placed grey sweatpants and a long sleeved blue crop top with black socks on the seat.

I wailed in defeat and obliged her, picking the up vaseline cup to mix some of the oil with my cream before applying it on my skin.

The first rule during harmattan season was to use vaseline. Either apply it alone or mix it with cream to prevent cracked skin, second rule was to wear lip gloss to prevent cracked lips. Even guys followed this rule.

“Say thank you,” Tenda blurted when she caught sight of me staring at the outqt she chose in approval.

“Thank you.” I smirked. “For disturbing my sleep.”

“Oh, shut up and dress up. Let's get outta here,” she scoffed. “Oh wait, that rhymed.”

I rolled my eyes in response to this as I pulled on the sweatpants and blouse.

“Now did your parents take your first term results?” I implored while I packed my braids in a high ponytail and checked my rejection in the mirror.

We took our first term results on Friday andnow, we were officially on Christmas break. It meant sleeping in and laying around all day until the house became packed with relatives.

“They were impressed,” she answered, a proud smile on her face.“yours?”

“They were happy, but they also advised me to try and read more to pass my WAEC exams as you know I’m a science student.” I shrugged in reply.

“Okay then, let’s go,” Tenda uttered and dragged me out of my room afterward.

*********

“I’m so hungry I could eat the whole food display here,” I muttered as we stepped into Crunchies after the struggle through the harsh breeze and dust outside.

“Always food,” Tenda grumbled, with a roll of her eyes.

“Hey!” I cried out, “you woke me up, robbed me of my breakfast, dragged me here through that severe breeze and you say I shouldn’t think of food? By the way, you’re paying.”

“Okay, ma, lead the way.” she saluted.

“Oh sorry,” I apologised after bumping into someone.

“No problem,” a cute voice replied.

What the? I thought as I came face to face with a really pretty girl, she looked adorable in her fair skin and black short hair, her pink lips in a smile, a straight nose, and slightly big black doe eyes.

Taking a closer look at her face, I noted a dimple that rested on one of her juffy cheeks. I wanted to call her a walking doll because she was that cute to that extent.

“Wow!” I heard Tenda mumble beside me.

“Hello, I’m Fahvour.” She waved, a shy smile gracing her lips. “I’m Joanna,” I told, returning her smile.

“Come here, cutie.” Tenda dubbed and tugged her into a hug that scared the poor girl half to death hence it’s not every day a stranger pulls someone in for an embrace.

“I’m Tenda,” she voiced out, releasing the frightened girl.

“Come sit with us.” I offered, my tone calm in a bid to rid her of her fear.

“Okay, but I’m here with my brother. He just went to the restroom. I hope that isn’t a problem?” Fahvour inquired.

“Nah, definitely not,” Tenda blurted in reply and grabbed our food from the counter. “Our table’s right there.”

“Okay, I’m coming. Let me text my brother.” She beamed after which she left us and strolled to a corner to do as she said.

The instant we got settled, I devoured my chicken pie and juice as if my life depended on it. I wondered how ridiculous I must have seemed to every other person, with my mouth full and hands covered in crispy goodness.

“Hmmmhmm.” I heard someone clear their throat above me, this made me raise my head to observe who it was. I wasn’t surprised when I noticed it was Fahvour.

“Can I sit?” She quizzed.

“Is that a question I invited you for Christ’s sake.” I laughed the same time Tenda nodded, her mouth still full with her doughnut.

“Sorry,” Fahvour atoned, getting seated.

“It’s no big deal.” Tenda shrugged. “So, tell us about you.”

“Well, I'll be 18 in May. I’m the only daughter with one brother. We’re only two plus I’m a science student. I wear glasses once in a while especially when I read. I’m shy as you can see, and I just moved here recently with my family so no friends yet. My brother is practically my handbag.” The words fell out in one breath.

“Wow! That was huge,” I clamored, a bit stunned.

“Was that too much? She flushed.

“When I said to tell us about you, I didn’t expect this much. But that’s okay, I’m happy you opened up to us,” Tenda asserted and squeezed her arm.

“So, where’s this brother of yours? You seem fond of him,” I implored.

“Don’t know,” she retorted. “When I texted him he said he was still in the restroom and that he was coming. No big deal though, he’s a grown man so he can find his way around.”

“Okay then, if it’s that way, how about you hang out with us? We’re heading to a shoe shop,” Tenda explained, sending me a look that screamed “keep your mouth shut” as she knew I would object to shoe shopping.

“Yeah, you should join us,” I grunted through tightly closed teeth while I provided her a glare.

“I don’t mean to intrude,” Fahvour objected, gazing at the floor.

“Nah, you need friends so here we are,” Tenda said, gesturing for us to start moving and winking at me. “Let's get going.”

I sighed in defeat and followed them out of the eaterie, thinking how I liked Fahvour. She seemed like a nice girl, however, I visualized myself on my bed in an hour with episodes of Wildflower.

We crossed the road to the supermarket opposite crunchies and headed straight for the shoe section.

“Now about this one?” Tenda voiced out and pushed a black flat shoe in my face.

“Nope, not that one, or that, or that,” I said, refusing her choices.

Not that they weren’t good but they were all black and I didn’t need anything black for Christmas. Besides, I already had a black shoe.

“Don’t be a party pooper,” Jahvour pouted, followed by a chuckle as I still rejected another one.

“I’m not a party pooper. When I see what I want I would know,” I scoffed in reply.

“Argh, I’m so tired. My legs are killing me!” Tenda groaned as she got fed up with my picky attitude.

“You suggested this, so deal with it,” I smirked.

“I know you’re doing this to get back at me for disrupting your alone time,” she growled.

“Hey!” I called feigning shock. “You think so low of me.”

“Oh please, save it,” she declared while Fahvour was just busy laughing. I didn’t respond, instead, I kept strolling around the store for the dream shoe while they strode behind me until something caught my eye.

“Yas! I found it.” I sLuealed, spotting a four inch shining red stiletto, and picked it up slowly as if it was pure gold. “Wow!”

“Holy cow!” They both exclaimed at once when they caught sight of the shoe in my palms.

“How come I didn’t see that earlier?” Tenda whined.

“Patience, baby, patience,” I sniggered.

“I’m getting the blue one and returning this crap,” Tenda announced as she stared at her green flats in disgust.

“I’m taking the black one with white beads on it,” Fahvour blurted and snatched it up. -fter that, we went to the cashier where we paid. “Now say thank you,” I smirked at Tenda, who held a blue shiny

stiletto in her hand.

“Why?” she polled, a tad confused.

“Because, If not for me, you would have taken that green crap home.” I shrugged in response.

“You're right, but no, I won’t say thank you,” she declined followed by a laugh as she noticed an awed expression on my face.

“Hey, Fahv.” A raspy familiar voice spoke, catching our attention. I groaned internally as I spotted Frank trudging towards us. He paused to offer Fahvour a hug, with a lovestruck look in his eyes.

“Shit ,” I muttered when I conqrmed it was him after our eyes met. “You?” he interrogated, a smirk on his lips. “Are you stalking me?”

“Pttf, I should be asking you that,” I uttered and faked nonchalance when I saw him draw Fahvour close to him.

“You know him?” Tenda questioned in my ear.

“Later,” I whispered as Fahvour bestowed us a weird look.

“Would it be a crime if she did?” he challenged, which seemed he heard.

Why was he winking at me? And why was he also still flirting with me? Was Fahvour not his girlfriend? All these questions and more I asked myself as he held onto Fahvour’s hand.

“Depends on your motive,” I flirted back to spite him.

“Okay, this is getting weird,” Tenda whispered to me again as Francis and Fahvour started talking to each other in hushed tones.

“I think they are dating,” I replied and felt a sharp pain run through my chest. I silently prayed they weren't as I was freaking out inside.

“Fahvour, can you introduce us? We are dying of curiosity here,” Tenda almost yelled, tired of all the suspense.

“Sorry, my bad, I kinda expected you guys to put the pieces together as Joanna seemed to know him.” Fahvour chuckled to which I just shrugged in response.

“Okay, Tenda, Joanna, meet my brother Francis,” she introduced. I released a quiet sigh of relief and did a happy dance.

“This fine piece of meat here is your brother?” Tenda interrogated, with a shocked look that had me laughing. “Holy fuck!”

“Hey, you have a boyfriend.” I chuckled and slapped her lightly on the arm.

“Well duh!” she scoffed.

“Hey Tenda. Hey Ana.” Frank waved at us, smiling.

“He has a special name for you?” Tenda hissed in shock accompanying it was a high pitched squeal.

There goes my eardrums, I concluded as I gently rubbed my ears in an attempt to bring call them back.

“Yeah, I have a special name for her,” he replied to Tenda’s earlier question with that heart stopping grin of his.

“What was that?” Fahvour polled as she too caressed her ears. “Don’t worry, when you hang out with her for a little while you would know, that.” I gestured to Tenda. “Happens a lot”

“We gotta go,” Tenda blurted and grabbed my hand forcefully before pulling me away.

“But we weren’t ... ” I tried saying something to stop her hence I knew what lay ahead as once we got home, she was gonna drill me about Frank and when I said drill ? I meant drilled.

“Bye, see you guys around,” she called and succeeded in hauling me out of there. she literally kept tugging me until we reached my house. Where she got her strength, I didn’t know. It was times like this that I pitied Tony because I didn’t think he knew what he was in for.

“Can you stop now? I’m home,” I groaned as I attempted to unlock my front door with one hand while she held the other.

“Nope! I’m not stopping till we reach your room and the door is locked,” she growled.

“Damn!” I muttered as she dragged me up the stairs to my room after I had succeeded in unlocking the door as no one was home.

“Now, explain what —ust happened because I can’t bear the tension any longer,” she voiced out and went to lock the door.

“Talk about what?” I feigned ignorance while my eyes glanced around in search of an escape route.

“Quit that!” she screeched. “You ain’t getting away from this so if I were you, I would start talking. Fow, who is Francis and why do you seem to know him?” She shot a terrifying look in my direction.

“Fine.” I groaned in defeat. “Do you remember that guy I told you about?”

“Which guy?”

“The guy at the party? The one I kissed. The one I grinded on. The one I twerked for?” I implored, an eyebrow lifted for emphasis.

“Shut! Up!” she exclaimed, a stunned expression overtaking her features. I nodded in affirmation.

“You mean?”

I nodded again.

“That he’s?” she quizzed, her eyes wide.

“Yep,” I responded and braced myself again for her shrieks.

“Holy shit! Oh my God! Oh my God!” she screamed and jumped in excitement.

“Yeah, holy shit alright,” I spoke, snickering at her reaction.

“You found him, and you didn’t tell me?” she questioned in a squeal, shaking my shoulders.

“Calm down!” I laughed.

“Calm down? Jo you ain’t telling me to calm down? You, my friend, kissed that hot piece of meat, and not only that, you twerked on that fine piece of manhood and you freaking tell me to calm down? Oh, God!” She hyperventilated.

“Yes, calm down, see? This is why I didn’t want to tell you. I knew you would act this way.” I facepalmed.

“You had every right to tell me. Damn it!” she countered. “I could see why you jumped him at the party, mehn! If I wasn’t dating, I would have jumped on him right in the middle of the road and sue feminism!”

I didn’t reply, instead, I kept silent and yanked off my shoes. “Any idea if he’s dating?”

“No,” I answered. “He said something about finding his lost love so he ain’t letting her go this time. I’m yet to conclude if that’s a good or bad thing.”

“What if you were his lost love?” she asked dramatically. “The guy was flirting with you for Christ’s sake.”

“As if that’s possible. This isn’t a love story or a movie, dummy,” I snorted.

“I know but what if!” she asserted, her eyes dazed. “I would plan your wedding. Oh, Fahvour can join in the planning and you guys would have the most beautiful kids.”

“You’re Crazy.” I shook my head at her. “We aren’t even dating for crying out loud.”

“Maybe, but think about it. It would be the wedding of the century.”

“Bye! Seeyou soon,” I uttered and pushed her out of my room afterward.

“But,” she protested.

“Bye, Tenda!” I yelled and sighed after I had closed the door behind her.

“Finally,” I mumbled to no one in particular as I plunged onto the soft mattress. “It’s me and you baby.”

Just as I got comfortable, my phone suddenly dinged and I ignored it. I also ignored the second ding. But the third ding irritated me.

“Arrrgh.” I groaned and picked it up.

Unknown number: Hey, Ana.

Unknown number: It’s Frank.

Unknown number: Can you meet me outside?

“What the ? ” I mumbled and heard my phone ping with another message. I peered at it and noticed it was from Tenda.

Tenda: Hey, I just saw Mr. Hot Stuff outside in a cool black G-wagon.

Tenda: Have fun, B, and tell me all about it later.

I grunted and rushed downstairs where I jerked the door open. There he was with a beautiful smile on his lips as he leaned on the body of his cool car.

I just sighed in exasperation and shock before I walked up to him.

******

Frank’s POV

When I spotted her and her bubbly friend talking and laughing with my sister at the restaurant, I had a warm feeling knowing they were getting along. I didn’t want to ruin the moment by showing up so I followed them to the shoe shop.

As I caught up with them, I wanted to see if she cared if I was being all touchy with Fahvour. The look of slight relief on her face when she found out I was Fahvour’s brother gave me a little hope.

I decided the moment her friend dragged her away that I needed to be alone with her soon and that soon had to be today because I couldn’t wait.

When she opened the door seeming stunned, I became confused on how to react hence I didn’t know if I should laugh at her shocked expression or smile at her beauty because she always managed to take my breath away whenever I saw her.

I chose to offer her a smile, not just because of her pretty face, but because of what I had planned.