Chapter One

Willow

My knees ache as I kneel on the hallway's cold, hard floor; I've found myself picking up my books that are scattered in front of me. Their laughter fills the halls, echoing around me; their name-calling burns my ears like fire.

Why do they do this to me?

What did I ever do to them to make them hate me the way they do?

No one will stop to help me; why would they? I'm nothing but a freak to them, a worthless freak with no place on this earth.

I will never fit in here or anywhere else, and to tell you the truth, I don't want to fit in here. All these people think they have a purpose in life. They pretend like they mean something, but deep down, everyone knows they're nothing.

Covering my face with my long black hair so no one can see the sadness in my eyes. Tears burn as they linger in my eyes, threatening to show themselves at any second; I know they won't. They never do. I can't remember the last time tears fell from my eyes. I don't think I can cry anymore.

I shouldn't let them get to me the way they do; their words have no meaning to me. I have heard them, and worse so many times before. There is nothing that they can say to me that I don't say to myself every day. I'm broken, and broken people have no fight in them. Well, at least I don't.

All I want is to be left alone to live my sad, pathetic life in peace. That will never happen; I will never be able to live in peace because people like me never get what they want. I was born to suffer and for other people to use.

Picking up my last book, I start to stand, pain filling my body; I clench my teeth trying to pretend like nothing is wrong. I have to ignore the pain and get away from the laughter. Sometimes, I find it hard to tell if it's real or in my head. This time I know it's real because I can see their faces; I can see them pointing at me and mocking me.

Each step I take sends a shooting pain through my body. The voices in my head tell me to ignore it, to keep moving. I have to get to a quiet place away from all their eyes, away from their laughter. A foot comes out in front of me, but I'm too busy focusing on each step to stop the person from tripping me. Before I know it, I'm falling again, only making them all laugh louder. There's no point in trying to save myself; it will only hurt more, and if I don't fall this time, they will only make the next time worse.

I close my eyes, getting ready for the pain that is about to come. Something stops me. I feel a pair of hands grip my waist, pulling me back to my feet. I would have rather the pain of falling than the feeling of another human being touching me. The feeling of their hands holding onto me makes me sick to my stomach. A voice in my head screams at me to run away, to not turn around and see who it is that has saved me. I can feel their hot breath on my neck, sending chills down my spine. The smell of cigarettes and cologne fills my nostrils.

Before I can do anything, my body takes over, ignoring the voice in my head, screaming at me to run. I slowly turn around to see who it is that has pitted me enough to save me. They are standing closer than I thought, making me dump into their chest. Taking a step back, my eyes slowly start moving up their body to his face. He's a lot taller than me, which only makes me more uncomfortable having someone standing over the top of me; I should be use to it since everyone stands over me in every way. Being as short as I am makes it hard not to have people stand over you.

My eyes meet his. His deep green eyes burned straight through me.

I know those beautiful green eyes anywhere I've dreamt about them so many times.

The deep green eyes belong to Braxton Young. The school bad boy, trouble maker and heartbreaker all rolled into one very attractive person. I've had a crush on him for so long; I know it's pathetic, isn't it the worthless freak has a crush on the school bad boy so typical. But it's just a silly high school crush, and that's all it is nothing will ever come from it. Even if I was brave enough to try and get his attention, I'm not his type. He likes tall, blonde, skinny girls with loud, outgoing personalities. Well, that's what he always seems to have hanging off his arm, and the only thing that I have in common with them is that I'm skinny but not attractive skinny, more like sickly.

He is tall, dark and handsome. Everyone fears him. All the boys want to be him, and all the girls want to be with him. His dark brown hair is always messy and untamed; he has the perfect muscular body, and his olive-coloured skin makes him the sexiest thing ever to walk these halls. He is god's most perfect creation; too bad he's such a dick.

The feeling of his eyes looking down at my neck snaps me out of my thoughts. I know what he is looking at. I can tell by the look on his face a sickly feeling comes over me. I've always feared this would happen one day; someone would see the marks I try so hard to hide. I quickly grab my hood, pulling it around my neck to try and cover them. As I do, his hand comes up to try and stop me; the thought of him touching me again sends fear through my body making me jump back. My heart starts racing in my chest making it hard to breathe. I can feel the tears burning my eyes again, threatening to show themselves. I can't let him see me like this. I can't take my eyes off him; my body won't move. He stares back at me, his eyes filled with confusion.

His mouth slowly starts to open before he can say anything, I turn on my heels and run. I have to get away from him. He's seen the marks that I swore I would never let anyone see. How can I be so careless, so dumb, why didn't I cover them better? I know better than this, so how could I let it happen? I know what happens if anyone finds out. I know what he will do to me.

I run to the bathroom pushing open the door, heading to the closest stall and slamming the door behind me, making sure I lock it before closing the lid on the toilet and sitting down. I draw my knees to my chest, burying my head in between my knees. "Only another year before you're out of this hell whole willow", I whisper to myself, trying to calm my nerves as I did.

One more year, and I will be free from all of this, and I will never look back. That's if I make it out alive which is looking less likely every day. Wrapping my arms around myself, I try to settle my stomach and swallow the lump that is growing in my throat. Half the reason I feel so sick is because I'm hungry; I can't go out there and face them. Knowing that lunch is the only meal I will get would make most normal people face their fears, but not me. This isn't the first time I haven't eaten for a day; sometimes it's days, it's not always because of fear sometimes it's the pain that stops me from eating and other times I just can't be bothered. I mean, what's the point in eating? Food is just fuel for your body that keeps you alive, and most days I don't want to be alive. I know it sounds like I'm starving myself, but I'm not I don't have an eating disorder or anything; I'm just not allowed to eat at home unless I buy my own food and hide it from him, which is harder than it sounds because he goes throw my things when I'm not home and throws out everything I'm not allowed to have. He rules my life and he always will. He tells me when I can sleep and what and when I can eat. The only freedom I have from him is at school, and the only reason I have that is because if I didn't come to school, then people would start asking questions, not because they care about me but because it's the law I have to go to school.

The sound of girls talking starts to get closer. Soon, it fills the room as they walk through the door, letting it slam shut behind them. I take a deep breath, praying they won't find me here. I don't want anyone to know where I am.

"How funny was it when Ken pushed over the freak," a girl's voice says.

Laughter fills the room bouncing around off the walls. I pull my knees in closer, burying my head a little deeper trying to block out the sound of their voices. I hate the way they sound; I hate their laughter.

"I know. I thought she was going to cry. She's so weird," another girl says through the laughter.

"I know she like never talks and her clothes. I mean, come on, show a little skin," the first girl says. I can recognise her voice her name is Mary and the other girl is Victoria they are the school's mean girls.

"Earth to Nat", I lift my head hearing Nat's name. She's my step-sister; she's one of the popular girls. She's nothing like them though she's a kind and caring person. We used to be close till the monster changed my life. He made me fear life and everything that comes with it; I just shut down, pushing everyone close to me away. Nat was one of them; she's better off without me anyway. I have to keep reminding myself of that. I would hate to put her or anyone else in danger. I know what the monster is capable of, and it's safer for everyone to stay away from me so there is no chance of anyone else getting hurt.

I hear her clear her throat before she talks. "Sorry, I was, um just thinking". She sounds nervous.

"I can't believe you live with her. I feel so sorry for you," Mary said.

"She doesn't really live with me; she lives in the flat out the back." There was a pause for a second. I could feel my heart breaking with every word she said. "She's not that bad, guys and maybe you shouldn't be so hard on her."

Mary and Victoria break out in laughter.

"You're so funny Nat", Mary says before smacking her lips together to spread the thick layer of lip gloss she has just applied across her lips.

The sound of the bell dawns out the sound of their laughter. I sat there waiting for them to leave before I came out. Heading to the mirror, I pull out some make-up to cover my marks. I stand there staring at myself in the mirror. I'd love to be one of the ordinary girls who stands here and applies makeup because she wants to, and it makes her feel pretty. I will never get to be that girl.

I like that people hate me here. It means no one wants to get close to me; no one wants to know my story.

Taking one last look at my pathetic self in the mirror, I head over to the door, sticking my head out the door to make sure no one is out there before I step out into the empty halls; for the first time today, I feel a little bit of peace as I walk down the abundant hallway. There are no eyes on me, no laughter burning my ears, and best of all, there is no one to judge me, no one to pity the pathetic girl that I am. I sometimes wonder how people see me; I try not to let them see the broken girl that I am. I don't want people to know that I'm not only broken on the outside but on the inside as well. I've built my walls so strong that no one will ever get to me. I have to be this way.