Chapter 40: "I wanna talk tonight. Until the mornin' light. 'Bout how you saved my life."

Notes:

AN: Do yourself a favour and google Colin the Caterpillar. God tier birthday cake

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

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Circe was just walking back from a day in the Library. The Second challenge had taken place that day and Circe had a list as long as her arm of tasks to catch up on, none of them involved standing on a viewing platform and watching four teenagers almost drown. Plus, with all of the students winding down in the dorms, warming themselves up by the fire after the whole morning on the surface of the Black Lake, Circe almost had the rest of the castle to herself. She'd passed a few Hogwarts students on her walk from the Library to her rooms, and she was happy to hear that Cedric and Harry had jointly won the first place position. No doubt Minerva would give her the details of how this all happened that night. She was carrying a modest selection of books in her arms, on a variety of different topics that she meant to cover in future lessons. However, her main aim for her day in the Library had gone unfulfilled.

Her head was off somewhere else when she almost bumped into Moody in the corridor. She squealed and fumbled with her books, anxious not to drop any as she reeled back from the wildly flailing eye in Moody's head. Normally she kept an astute ear out for the Professor's heavy and uneven footsteps, being able to hear his cane pounding on the floor from quite a distance away, but this time he had surprised her. Her fumbling managed to rescue two of her three books from falling to the ground, but a third book slipped from her grasp and knocked against Moody's hand. It was a weighty tome, and when it fell to the floor it took with it whatever Moody had been holding in his fist.

"Oh bugger…" she muttered. "Sorry Alastor."

She bent down to retrieve her book and picked up the small metallic object that had fallen with it: Moody's hip-flask.

"Ah, Professor Smith. Didn't feel like joining us out on the Black Lake today?" Moody said gruffly.

Circe shifted uncomfortably as his eye twitched and danced all over her, from her head to her feet. For some unplaceable reason, she always felt rather uncomfortable around Moody.

"Perhaps I could have been tempted out into the cold if I knew you kept a dram on you, Alastor." she replied jovially, shaking his hip-flask.

As she jiggled it, she noticed the liquid inside felt way too thick to have been whiskey. It felt almost like a smoothie, maybe? She frowned as she looked at it in her hands.

"Ahh I am warmed by other things, Professor Smith." he replied, extending a hand out to Circe, waiting for his flask.

"Such as?"

"Loyalty." he replied enigmatically, his thin mouth curling into a sly smile.

Circe placed the flask back into his hands, a little lost for words from his strange answer.

"Okay… Perhaps you should try booze. I hear it works better." she muttered.

"Loyalty to one's masters." he called after her as she pushed past him. "Can be a very warming, rewarding thing indeed."

"Sorry, Alastor. Are we having the same conversation?" she asked, deeply confused.

Moody replied with a deep chuckle and went hobbling onwards. "I have a feeling you'll understand me just fine soon enough, Professor Smith."

Circe shook her head, trying to dispel the sense of unease that had settled over her.

Absolutely doolally. No wonder they call him Mad-Eye, she thought as she walked on.

The corridor before her was empty, deathly silent, almost too silent. The paintings that hung on the tapestried walls were snoozing quite happily, the rich plush carpet under her feet muffled her footfalls. It felt rather too dark, too muffled. She stopped dead as she listened to the thick quietness around her. It almost felt like she'd just walked into a silencing charm... A concealed door to her left sprung open with a bang and Circe squealed as all of her books fell from her arms. Severus chuckled and pulled her inside his overflow storage cupboard by her wrist. The door banged shut behind them and Circe felt his lips upon hers as her heart still beat wildly. They stood in the darkness of the cupboard, feverishly kissing one another, until Circe pulled away from his intoxicating embrace with a groan.

"You scared me fucking shitless, Severus!" she hissed at him.

"Apologies for seizing on an opportunity too good to miss." he purred, grabbing at her behind and pressing her close to him once more. "I couldn't resist a small jumpscare when you walked right into my trap."

He kissed her again and for a moment she lost herself in him.

"Trap? Who are you meant to be trapping." she asked breathlessly, in between kisses.

"Oh, I thought I might be able to catch some nasty little thieves at their work… Where have you been all day? I must admit, I rather missed you at the challenge."

"In the Library… looking for something."

"Oh dear, dare I ask what?"

Circe reached into her pocket and cast a quick lumos. In a flash, their faces were illuminated in the dark and Severus smiled coyly at her from beneath the black curtains of his hair, almost utterly hidden in shadow

"Why can't I find any record of your birthday, Severus?" she asked suddenly.

Snape grumbled and stepped back from her.

"Because I don't wish for anyone to know." he responded flatly.

He walked back over to the ladder mounted on the storage room's wall and stepped up a few rungs, inspecting a jar of something just above his head.

"Severus, when is your birthday?" she asked, folding her arms.

"Is that really what your primary concern is right now? Not the outcome of the second challenge, how Potter and Diggory managed to tie in first place? Why Miss Delacour had to withdraw from the activities early? Who each of their "special someones" were…?"

He turned around to face her with this last question, almost dangling it in front of her like a juicy piece of meat. Circe was tempted to let him tell her the answer, curious as she was to see if her predictions were right. But she stopped herself. Severus was trying to distract her with gossip.

"Severus… When. Is. Your. Birthday?" she asked again firmly.

"I'm a capricorn." he muttered, going back to his storage items.

"Early to mid January. Severus, that's now!" she explained, rather alarmed.

"Why do you want to know?" he grumbled.

He'd gone to great pains to remove all evidence of his birthday, or any information about him from the school records after Circe had let slip that she'd found information about his arrest as a Death Eater a few years ago. It could be a dangerous compromise of information if he had to resume his espionage work ever again, and he hated birthdays with a passion. He didn't need reminding of his relentless aging.

"I want to know because your Christmas present knocked it out of the park so much...and not to mention the guitar you got me last year… I feel rather embarrassed that I've never given you anything."

"Untrue. I rather enjoyed your Christmas present. I'm surprised that anything was coming out of my gentleman-parts by New Year's Eve, other than a small red flag with the word 'bang' on it…"

Circe laughed as Severus gave her a knowing wink.

"Look you, stop trying to deflect." she said shortly, pushing past the wonderful memories of her and Severus abed throughout the Christmas period.

It had been rather sad when their little slice of michaelmas heaven had been forced to come to an end, but much to the contrary of Severus's complaints, he showed no signs of slowing down… Neither did she, if truth be known.

"I thought we agreed, total upfrontness. Honesty all the way."

Severus grimaced to himself; he knew that decision would come back to bite him eventually. Yet somehow he'd thought it would rear its ugly head in a much less mundane way.

"The ninth." he said hurriedly. "It's on the ninth of January."

"Are you freaking kidding me? Tomorrow, Sev?!"

He shrugged his shoulders and went back to his bottles.

"I choose not to celebrate birthdays. Just… please forget it."

"I forgot mine earlier in the year because I was a scatter-brained mess. There's no way in hell I'm forgetting yours!"

"And what exactly do you have in mind? A Colin the Caterpillar cake? "For he's a jolly good fellow" in the Staff room? A round of butterbeers in the Three Broomsticks? I thought you knew me better than all of that…" he said a measure more maliciously than he'd intended.

Circe fell silent and stared at him.

"No, I… I was thinking we could… go somewhere."

"Go somewhere?" He asked, a little intrigued.

"You remember when we went to Edinburgh after Quirrell destroyed all my clothes?"

Snape nodded.

"Well… like that. Doing the things we like. With one another. Talking. Wandering. Eating. Only this time, at the end of the day, we share the same hotel room." She finished with a small smile.

She waited for Severus's reply. His face was unreadable.

"Let's do it." He eventually said.

"What? Really?"

"This was your idea!" He chuckled.

"I know… but I thought you'd need more convincing."

"Oh I don't think I'll ever need convincing to share a bed with you." He whispered into her ear.

She felt the goosebumps rise on her arms as his warm breath caressed her skin. She gazed into his eyes and unable to hold back from the pull of him, she lay her mouth on his once more.

Their kiss grew deeper as Circe snaked her arms around his neck, pulling him close. He too encircled her in his arms, feeling her thudding heart against his as he drew her near. Her mouth opened for him and his tongue was quick to intertwine with hers. They were both soon throbbing for one another. Severus picked her up and Circe's legs were about his waist as he pressed her against the storage room's wall. She gasped as she felt his firming crotch pressing into her, her loins too singing out for him. A bottle on the shelf behind her went toppling and smashed against the floor, giving Circe and Severus reason to pause.

"Oh shit…" Circe muttered, trying to catch her breath.

"Ahh it doesn't matter. That blasted Potter boy has stolen enough from this storage room already, I'm surprised there's anything left in here. Not to worry, I've been brewing up a strong batch of veritaserum that I might just spike his pumpkin juice with if I'm unable to catch him red-handed..."

He leaned in close to her again, ready to commence his hungry kisses, the warmth of her groin enticing him onward.

"Stolen? What do you mean?" she asked, pulling away from him suddenly.

"It's been going on for weeks now. A rather odd mixture of ingredients. Boomslang skin, lacewing flies, bicorn horn-" he muttered, burying his mouth into her soft neck flesh.

"Polyjuice potion?" Circe asked as his mouth nibbled at her skin.

"And then throw in the gillyweed for today's caper about the lake. Plus, all of the rather expensive wolfsbane and wild garlic. So, unless Potter's planning on becoming some shape shifting, werewolf, mermaid man-"

"Oh the wolfsbane and garlic is me." She said quickly.

Snape looked up from her neck, wide eyed and frowning.

"You?" He asked incredulously.

She nodded and Severus rolled his eyes.

"For Remus." He said flatly.

She nodded again, biting her lip, waiting for Severus to tell her off.

"Stealing from me, Professor Smith? Tut, tut , tut…" he murmured, delving a hand between her legs to her warmth.

After a moment's fumbling, Circe gasped as he entered her, pushing her harder against the shelf. She hung on tight to him as he began his thrusting, feeling every inch of him fill her, burying himself to the hilt in her sex.

"Wish I'd stolen from you earlier, Severus…" she gasped into his ear. "If I knew this is how you treat thieves."

-----

Their train was five minutes away from London Marylebone. Circe had been left feeling a little green when they'd both apparated to the town of Banbury. Circe couldn't go much further than that in one go and Severus had waited rather patiently for her to stop retching in the bushes of the station car park. From there, the small flat Circe had booked out for hers and Severus's overnight stay was just over an hour away on the train.

Once through the ticket barriers and down into the Underground, Circe felt the buzz of the capital city seeping into her bones. It had been a while since she had been in London and it was a city that she'd always been a little bit in love with. She loved the whoosh of the warm air against her face as she stood on the Underground platform. She loved the smog-stained buildings, black and sooty and contrasted against the dazzling white Georgian facades. But most of all, she loved how she felt like she was at the center of the universe, the very epicenter of hundreds and thousands of years of life and living, culture, craft and the cutting-edge. There was truly nowhere else in Britain that felt like London. Nowhere as ridiculous or well-loved. Nowhere that teemed with secrets, but also was bare-faced and shocking.

Severus had never really been outside of Diagon and Knockturn alley in his rare trips to the capital. Which is why Circe had practically jumped on the opportunity to take him to "real" London for their overnight stay. Severus had noted that she rather enjoyed being the guide to his fresh-faced newcomer. Her the teacher and him the eager, listening student. Truth be told, he would have gone anywhere from the Outer Hebrides to the Isle of Wight on her recommendation, as long as he got to spend the day with her. From their conversation on the train, it sounded like Circe knew the area of London where they were staying rather well, and even Severus had to quietly admit that she'd made Camden sound rather interesting.

"All the London districts outside Zone One are like their own little village, Severus. They've all got their own unique feel to them." Circe whispered to Snape as they sat side by side on the tube.

"And if I were to ask for an abridged summation of these "feels"?" he asked, poking fun at her rambling teacher tendencies.

He watched their reflection in the blackness of the glass opposite them. The tube rattled and squealed metallically and Severus was beginning to feel a touch claustrophobic with the dim light and the loud screeching noises.

"Give me a borough then." she replied, giving him a poke back in the ribs.

"Oh, I don't know…. Kensington and Chelsea."

"Pretty. White. Museums."

"Islington."

"Theatres. Restaurants everywhere. Parks too…"

"Redbridge."

"Leafy. Lots of kids. Families and cricket pitches and that stuff..."

"Harrow."

"Oh, posh boys. Posh boys and shops."

Severus laughed. "And Camden?" he asked, breaking away from staring at the hollow-cheeked reflection of Circe in the window.

"Cool." She responded simply.

Severus had dismissed Circe's summation as a rather underwhelming review, but as they stepped off the tube and climbed the stairs of the Underground to the surface, he began to see how accurate her simplistic description was. It was, upon first glance, a typical dirty London borough: streets full of rubbish, honking cars, tall and imposing red buses, ordinary folk walking with heads bent down to the floor. But as they started walking to the riverside, Severus was suddenly hit with the colour and noise of the place. The street they passed en route was filled with a rainbow of shop fronts, all with comically huge models of what they sold on their exterior. Snape stared up at a huge pair of converse shoes, stuck on the front of one shop, with a raised brow.

"Yes, I can see why you like this place…" he muttered as they passed over a lock bridge, a few lazy canal boats trundling by underneath them.

"I haven't even shown you the best bit so far."

She took Severus by the hand and he looked back at her excited face, surprise written across his own. He couldn't recall a time or place… ever… when someone had held his hand. The simplicity of the affection touched him to his core and his expression mellowed as he stared, flabberghasted at her.

"Is… this okay?" Circe asked, her hand gripping tighter around him.

"I…. well… Yes. I think so." he spluttered.

Circe paused on the bridge, turning to face him. "I know you and I are still finding our feet, Sev. So, if you're not comfortable with some things, then you can tell me. I know you were… reluctant-"

"Reluctant?" he asked, taking her other hand in his. "Not about you, if that's what you mean."

"But… we agreed to keep this a secret." Circe replied, feeling the hustle and bustle of the city pass by around her.

It had been part of their discussions over Christmas, deciding how they would proceed from then on as an item. Circe had initially thought if something ever did happen between them, then she'd want to shout it from the rooftops, get straight on the phone to Myron or Tonks. But now, her opinions had changed, as if somehow deep down she knew of the dangers lurking just over the horizon for her and Severus both, and she had told no one. They had even agreed to give Diagon Alley a wide berth whilst they were in London, just in case they ran into anyone they might know who could possibly out their relationship to the wider wizarding community. Circe glanced down to the wet pavement, a little saddened that nobody, not even her closest friends, could share in her happiness.

"Why… why do you think that I wish to keep us a secret?" Severus asked with a deep frown.

"Because.. I don't know. You're embarrassed?" she asked, not really meaning it, but wanting some sort of reassurance from him.

"Of you?!" Severus cried out. "Circe… no!"

"So what are you scared of, Severus?" she asked desperately, grabbing on to his wrist.

He flinched, drawing his hand back as her fingers brushed over his Dark Mark. It felt like an electric shock had passed through him.

"I… I never hesitated or pulled back from you because I didn't want you." he stepped closer to her, lifting her head up with his finger until she met his dark eyes. "I love you. You see me for what I am. And I see you. All of your talents and tenderness, all of your roses and thorns. And I am not embarrassed by you, Circe. If we lived in a safe, secure world, where there were not evil eyes everywhere, then I would have your name tattooed across my chest…"

"Who's evil eyes?" Circe asked cautiously. This is the topic Severus had been skirting around since the first time they had laid on their pillows side by side. "Who are we hiding from, Severus?"

"Perhaps no one. Perhaps the worst of all." he responded darkly.

Circe sighed and looked out towards the canal. Over the other side of the river, music floated over the breeze. Something swinging and rhythmic, as if it had seeped out from a London in the 1960's. Bright, bohemian and bouncy. From where it came, she could not tell, but the sound of it soothed her beating heart. It reminded her of where she was, who she was, the magic of London enchanting her again and giving her courage. If she were really standing on the edge of a precipice, she wanted to know just how deep it was.

"Total upfrontness? Honesty all the way?" she asked him again.

He nodded.

"Then we need something to eat first…" she muttered, before turning on her heels and striding off deeper into Camden.

Severus squinted after her, confused by her reaction, but after a second he chuckled to himself and followed. They walked on, side by side. As Severus caught up with her he slid his hand into hers voluntarily. She gripped it firmly, his return of affection giving her courage for the upcoming conversation.

She led him on into Camden Market, through the mismatched shops and stalls of vintage goodies and on to the food market by the lock. Severus again was marvelled by the sprawl of colour and noise in the place. He had expected a few stalls, lined with a few knock-off Gucci bags and cheap fur coats. This place was a rabbit warren of shops: built into the walls, set into a network of ancient cellars, old warehouses and new galleries, all set on top of perilously wobbly cobbled streets. Severus would have been lost in the jungle of strange and beautiful oddities in minutes: a ransacked hodgepodge of furniture, vintage clothes of every era from thick-shouldered leather jackets to great pluming Georgian bustles, artisan jewellery of shining brass and silver, handmade soaps topped with petals so big Severus thought they were trays of cake...had it not been for Circe's guiding footsteps.

"It's almost like a … like a muggle Diagon Alley." he muttered as they passed a shop that exclusively only sold oriental-style dressing gowns in a riot of bright colours and a menagerie of creatures.

"I know. It's brilliant isn't it. They say you'll never find the same thing twice in Camden Market."

Circe led Severus through an underground pass, lined with a selection of tattoo and piercing parlours, hearing the buzz of the artist's needles working away on their clients.

Hows about getting that tattoo across your chest anyway, Sev? Circe thought with a wicked smile.

When they emerged back into the light, Severus was suddenly hit with the smell of a wonderful kaleidoscopic palette of food from every variety of cuisine imaginable. Just from where he was stood he could see souvlaki, Hungarian paprika stew, golden calamari, huge trays of paella, teriyaki chicken, Ghanaian roasted lamb… and the stalls went on beyond his eyeline. His mouth filled with drool in an instant.

"What do you fancy first?" She asked, gesturing around broadly to the food stalls. "You haven't eaten today, Sev."

Severus tutted. "Are you my lover or my nurse?" He asked sardonically, but nevertheless touched by her care for him.

"I'm getting halloumi chips." She replied, ignoring his witty dig at her.

"Halloumi chips?"

"Yep. There's a guy just down by the water who cuts the cheese into strips, deep fries them, drizzles it with natural yoghurt and pomegranate syrup, and tops them with chili flakes and coriander. It's the shit, Sev."

"And that's just to start?" He asked, his mouth watering at her description.

He realised, all too suddenly, just how hungry he actually was. Circe seemed to know what he wanted these days before even he did.

"Look around you, Severus. You can't come here and only have one thing on the menu!" she laughed. "Plus, I've seen what you look like naked now. I thought I'd get a bloody paper cut on your ribs, you skinny bastard." she added with a wink.

They sat together on one of the benches, tucking into their food as the gentle sunlight played off the canal's water. He watched her looking out over the river, pointing places out to him of where she had been in her younger days, regaling him with stories from her youth when she had visited Camden before. Gigs and parties and nights out. Times of joy and happiness. And his heart grew heavy as he thought of what he had to tell her... Circe was listening out for the music she had heard earlier again, still not quite able to place where it was coming from but it triggered a memory of a night in her younger days of perfect eyeliner and sharp mod haircuts outside a moss green tiled pub… when Severus suddenly spoke.

"Karkaroff seems to think The Dark Lord is on the rise." he said morosely, slicing through her meandering memory.

Circe sighed, scooping another mouthful of chicken and coconut dahl onto her fork. "And why does he think that?"

"He believes his Dark Mark is growing… stronger. Darker. It's the Death Eater's link to him. How he calls us. How he summons us…"

"And what about yours?" Circe asked, pointing at his wrist with her cutlery once she'd taken another bite of food.

"I don't know." he paused, running a thumb over the dark fabric of his sleeve. "Sometimes I think so. Other times I think I'm just a paranoid old man. But then there was the incident at the Quidditch World Cup in the summer-"

"The Dark Mark in the sky." she whispered solemnly.

"And the others that were reportedly there. The other Death Eaters…"

Circe remembered the masked figure she had fought off at the end of her wand. The vicious and merciless magic they had tried to enact on her and the Bulgarian boys she had protected.

They would have crucioed me if I'd let them… she thought.

"So…" she asked cautiously, labouring over her words as she chewed on her food. Severus had stopped eating altogether, waiting for her to ask the very question that had kept him from her for so long. "If the Dark Lord is out there somewhere… Hidden, growing, becoming stronger. Then what would that mean for you?"

He cleared his throat and toyed with his bowl of food in front of him. "It may all just be conjecture and coincidence, Circe."

"Severus…" she said firmly, making him halt in his fidgeting.

He looked up into her face and saw her barely concealed worry.

"Total upfrontness. Honesty all the way."

Severus sighed heavily, reaching out for her hand. He grasped it firmly when she offered it and Circe frowned, a little frightened by the change in his demeanour.

"Then I would be catapulted back onto the front lines of the next wizarding war. I would have to maintain my cover as a double agent and curry information back to Dumbledore and the Order. I would be in danger. Constantly. Every waking moment.… and so would you."

Circe's eyes widened and she sat for a moment in silence.

"Wow…" she uttered, staring back over the canal.

"That is what you risk when you tether yourself to me, Circe. But I would protect you with every part of me before I let them hurt you-"

"You know I can protect myself, Severus. I put you on your backside once, remember? And I did in the summer when one of your old colleagues tried to curse me…"

"Yes, but the Dark Lord has powers that I have- that I have become lax in protecting myself against recently. And you yourself do not possess."

"Which are?" she asked with a confused frown.

"Legilimency. He will pluck every bone of knowledge from your mind, Circe, if you cannot protect yourself."

"Then teach me occlumency." She muttered, leaning in close to him. "You and me can face it together if it comes to that. Both of us working secretly for the Order."

"It takes years… decades to master. And you wear your heart on your sleeve, Circe. You can rarely keep anything from me."

"Right back at you, "Mr Longing-Stare 1994"!" She shot back, a little offended.

"I told you, with you I have been lax. But a look or a thought or a smile or a caress could doom us both! There could be no mistakes. No shadows cast. You draw everything out of me, Circe. I couldn't hide from you if I tried, and believe me I tried... If they ever suspected we were… together. If we were found out by them, he'd use that weakness against me, or just kill us both without hesitation."

"Then teach me!" She hissed. "Give me the tools to fight side by side with you. I couldn't wait at the window like a war-widow whilst you went away to fight, Severus! Not again… I couldn't do that again."

"There were witches and wizards like you, equipped with all the knowledge and tools known to magic, and they still died by his hand, Circe."

"Like Lily?" Circe said flippantly, a bubble of frustration rising up in her throat.

"Yes, like Lily!" He said just loud enough a few muggles turned to look at him. "Don't you understand?! I couldn't stand to lose you like I lost Lily. Lily was the brightest, bravest, fiercest witch of her age and even she died at Voldemort's hand."

"I am not Lily!" She shouted.

She rose up from the table and stormed off into the marketplace, hot tears of frustration springing up behind her glasses. Severus called after her but she was lost to the crowd in an instant.

He found her an hour or so later in a huge underground record store at the market's border. The air was musky with the smell of old paper and plastic, the walls coated with years and years worth of band posters, all stuck on top of one another until it was centimeters thick in some places. From the ceiling were hung an innumerable amount of coloured vinyls, spinning around on their string, a kaleidoscope of colour. They hung in the air above Circe's head like a gently swinging mobile, covering every square inch of ceiling space, reminding her of the candles often placed in the roof of the Great Hall. She was thumbing through the CD's and vinyls, her back turned resolutely to him as he approached. Before he even said anything, she could feel him. She could always sense when Severus was nearby. A great, looming, dark presence like encroaching thunderclouds.

"I thought I'd find you in here." he said slowly, laying a hand on top of hers. "Took me a fair bit of wandering around to spot this place, mind…"

Circe slid her hand from his and went on perusing the handwritten labels above the different segments: ABBA, Adam and the Ants, Allman Brothers, AC/DC, Aerosmith… She pretended to become very interested in the 'B' section, avoiding Severus's eyes with all her willpower.

"I'm sorry, Circe. I never meant to…"

His words left him for a moment as he sensed her tense up beside him. He sighed heavily, feeling her anger seeping through her skin. Of course he hadn't meant to compare her directly to Lily, or to make her feel like she paled in comparison to her, ability wise. He knew enough about women to know that one must never do that with past loves. And Circe possessed skills that Lily had never had, and vice versa.

Can she really blame me for wanting to keep her safe, knowing that Lily's killing made me die a thousand deaths? Severus thought as he watched her busily flicking through records. And I never even knew Lily in the way I know Circe now. Lily never belonged to me in the way Circe does. I could not even bear to think of the pain of losing Circe, losing who I belong back to.

Severus thought for a moment and groaned. He'd made the mistake before of trying to impose control over the fate of a woman he loved. Perhaps the truest show of his love for Circe was to relinquish control altogether.

"I've tried to make decisions for you in the past. I tried to push you away from me in a vain attempt to keep you safe from harm. But if I know you, and I think I do, I know that trouble seems to find you no matter what."

Circe looked to him in indignation and instantly regretted breaking her "no-looking" rule when she saw the large grin on Severus's face, knowing he had tempted her back to him.

"I resent that, Severus." she replied haughtily. "And I can get myself out of troub-"

"Will you just… let me finish?" he interrupted.

She bristled, but eventually nodded.

"I know you're capable. I know you're a fighter. And if we are to be placed in the midst of a war soon, there's truly nobody else I'd rather have at my side than you. I suppose I've come to trust you with my heart. I could trust you with my life too."

"So what does that mean?"

"It means… if...and only if Karkaroff is proved right, Voldemort returns and my worst fears are made reality…" he paused, sucking in his breath. "I will teach you occlumency."

Circe suppressed a smile. It was a small victory, if only a hypothetical one. In this muggle music shop, on a sunny and bright day in Camden, the return of the Dark Lord seemed like a flight of fancy. Something that could never happen to them. Something to shatter the small haven that they had carved out for themselves between them. It still meant secrets, it still meant hiding, but at least it meant Circe could fight for what and who she loved.

"I thought you were going to try and forbid me, Severus." Circe replied with a coy smile.

"Oh, I thought about it. But I also know you well enough now to know you will be forbade nothing. Especially when there's a fight to be had." He slid a hand around her waist and pulled her close. He planted a kiss on her lips and lingered there for a sweet moment. "That's why I love you."

"I love you too. I don't want to linger over the maybes and the morbid any more than you do, Severus. Let's forget the oncoming storm, just for a moment longer..." she muttered. She knew it was feeble to bury her head in the sand, pretend like there was no possible danger for the two of them in the near future, but she wanted to cling on to a few more blissful moments of happiness before the world threatened to fall apart around them. "I want to talk of us, you and me… Like we did in those days after Christmas. And there be just you and I, making one another happy."

"I cannot promise that it'll always be like that. Some of your tears in the future may be caused by me again." He said morosely.

"I know. But let's save tomorrow for tomorrow. Today, I want us to be just two people who love each other. No past, no war, no darkness. Letting our pillow-talk heal us and bring us closer…"

Severus liked that idea, leaning in close to bury himself in her hair. "Whispering sweet nothings until the small hours? Lying naked together under your sheets? Telling you again and again of how you saved my miserable life?" he murmured into her ear, setting every hair on her neck on edge with his hot breath.

And I'll do it again. Even if it means following you into the Lion's den. She thought to herself as she led Snape out of the shop and off to find somewhere more private.

It was high time they saw their accomodation for the night.

-------

That night, Severus made a point of cooking for her. The flat Circe had found for their night away was a wonderful little refurbished one-bedroomed space, airy, bright and backing on to the canal. At the back of the flat were a set of french doors that opened up wide, letting in all the sounds and music of Camden into the living room. Circe hadn't been aware of this when she'd booked the place, but it was furnished with a small red piano, placed just by the open double doors. She'd be toying away with the keys as Severus toiled away in the kitchen. Every so often she'd look up from the black and white blocks to catch a glimpse of Snape walking past the serving window before disappearing back into the smoke and smells of the meal he was cooking up. Circe was perfectly happy to play away, letting the noise of the piano float through the open window and down onto the walkway by the canal. Piano wasn't her first instrument, but after a moment of tinkering and re-familiarising herself with where the notes were and the shape of certain chords, she was soon hopping from tune to tune.

The first time someone called up to her from the canal, it had come as a bit of a shock. Circe had almost run to the french doors and banged them shut with embarrassment, but when her initial panic faded, she realised they were calling up requests. Most of them were classical pieces that she didn't know and she'd respond with a quick "Sorry, I don't know it!" out the window. She had to stick to fairly easy stuff. So she cycled through the likes of Let it Be, Desperado, Imagine, Rocket Man… humming along to the tune as she went. After a while, as one song bled effortlessly into another, she heard the soft, low, sounds of Severus's voice from the kitchen. She dared not stop, just in case he consciously realised he was singing along and it broke the spell. She listened to his rich, dulcet tones, absent-mindedly joining with her playing and marveled at how wonderful his singing voice was.

I've never heard him sing before… she thought wistfully as he continued, her utterly captivated.

She wondered if he often sang when he was alone, if he'd sung by himself in the potions storage room when she wasn't there. A hidden gem in the darkness.

He really does have a beautiful voice. She smiled to herself, wondering in what scenario could she ever convince Severus to perform. Perhaps when hell freezes over…

She tried to choose something that he'd know, just so she could listen to him sing for longer. She chose Lady Stardust, once again cycling back to her favorite album, but transposing it down a few keys to fit Severus's low voice. As soon as those distinctive opening chords were played out on the red piano, Severus hummed along with some throwaway "dum de dooo doo..."'s, and Circe grinned, ecstatically happy that he'd been unknowingly lulled into more singing.

"People staaaaared at the makeup on his face.

Hummm dee dummm long black hair.

His animal grace…."

She wondered when he'd heard this.. Who he'd listened to it with...An image of a young boy on the terraced streets of Cokeworth, sometime in the seventies, flashed into her mind. Leaning against a brick wall, huge great blue flares, long black hair, a skinny little thing. Had he listened to it with Lily? The thought stung in her mind as it passed through, but she let it sail on by, letting it go, determined not to let the familiar feeling of jealousy taint her evening. Circe wished she'd have known Severus back then, she wished that she'd always known him and she never wanted to be a stranger to him ever again.

He stopped suddenly, somewhere in the second chorus, distracted away by something. Circe felt like she'd just been ripped from her mother's umbilical cord and she too stopped playing. She listened out astutely for the noises from the kitchen, hearing the roar of the oven open and Severus muttering to himself as he finished off their dinner.

Ahh well, it was nice while it lasted. Circe thought to herself as Severus emerged in the doorway, holding a pot of something delicious smelling.

"Ready?" he asked, holding it aloft, none the wiser that Circe had been completely bewitched by his singing moments ago. She nodded and sat down at the modest little table. As Severus portioned out his creation, Circe poured out two glasses of crisp white wine. She eyed it up as he placed it down in front of her and "ooed" in delight. After their wander around Camden market, Severus had taken a quick gander around the food stalls, filled to the brim with meats, vegetables and deli goods, coming back a few moments later with a bag full of prawns, squid, mussels, winkles and cockles. By another stroke of good luck, on the corner of the street they were staying on was a quaint little wine shop. Severus had disappeared inside it before Circe could turn her head around, and she'd found him a few moments later passing his slim fingers over the bottles as if he were in his potions storage cupboard.

"Seafood risotto. How classy, Sev."

"Well, if teaching doesn't work out for either of us we could always open a restaurant. I cook, you entertain." he responded, sitting opposite her and taking a long sip of his wine.

Circe smiled and took a bite of her meal. It was delicious, buttery, rich, the undertones of the dry white wine Severus had chosen just underneath the other strong flavours.

"Mmmm, wonderful. You know, I thought you'd be a terrible cook, being a long-standing bachelor."

"You thought I lived off microwave meals and cereal? When practically all I do for a living is cook?"

"Is potions making really that much like fine dining?" she asked, intrigued.

"Of course, it's an art. A precise science, like potions. It's all about intensity, flavour, heat, patience, steeping, steaming, charring…I am almost never required to cook at Hogwarts, so when the opportunity presents itself, I pounce on it. I find cooking rather therapeutic."

"And they do say the way to a woman's heart is through the stomach." she purred, running a foot slowly up his leg.

She rather liked it when Severus spoke about potions making, or cooking it seemed, in that intensely passionate way he did.

"Well, I do hope my skills don't leave me now I've lost my long-standing batchelor's status." he muttered, leaning in close to her and running a hand up her exploring leg, all the way to her thigh.

He abandoned his food, dropping to his knees before her and lifting her skirt to plant a series of faint kisses along her skin. She leant her head back as a tingle of pleasure rippled through her blood.

"Severus, your food… It'll get cold." she whispered as his hands roamed her body, his mouth journeying perilously close to her sweet spot.

"Then let's be quick about it." he sighed, rising up to meet her full, open lips, pressing himself to her hungrily.

She leant into his kiss, equally ravenous for him, and in a flash he lifted her off of her chair and had her on her back on the floor. She wrapped her legs around him as his hands tore away at her clothes and after a moment's fumbling, her chest was laid open and bare before him. She too worked away at his garments, lifting his jumper over his head so she could feel the warmth of his bare chest against her. His skin was so light, so pale, it still surprised her that it didn't feel as chilly as marble to the touch. Her hands found his stiff member and he groaned in ecstasy as she released him from his trousers and he buried himself in her once again. His thrusts were powerful and strong, causing her to ache wonderfully he filled her up to the very edges of herself. He clung onto her thigh, pulling her closer to him with each movement, afraid that she might slip away from him if he didn't hold on to her tight. She pulled at his hair as his cock mercilessly stimulated her g-spot and she was soon shivering beneath him as her climax turned her very bones to song. He too soon followed, the feeling of her tightening pleasure around his member sending him over the edge.

They lay together, panting and sweaty on the floor, the breeze from the still open windows blowing against their hot skin. For a while they listened to the sounds of the London suburb going on just outside the window: the distant honking cars, the gentle flow of the canal, the turning over of a boat's engine, and still, out there somewhere, the far-off sound of music.

"The way to a woman's heart, indeed…" Severus said coyly, reaching out a hand to stroke her hair from her face.

"I'd still adore you even if you served me beans on toast, Severus." she laughed, sitting up from the floor and wandering over to the bathroom to clean herself up.

When she came back, Severus too was up off the floor and back in his seat at the table as if nothing had happened. Circe too took her seat again and began eating her risotto with a broad grin on her flushed face. The music from beyond the curtains grew louder, and they both turned to the open window curiously.

"What do you say we eat this as quick as we can, and find a bar where the cocktails are way too expensive and the music's too loud?" Severus asked suddenly. Circe looked back to him wide eyed, and smiling. "You did say after all, in your brief summation of this borough, that this place is known for its music venues too."

"I thought our plan was to talk all night. And you were going to tell me again of how I "saved you from a miserable life"." Circe smirked, taking his hand gently from across the table.

"I could spend a thousand and one night with you and never get that sentiment across quite as well as I'd like." He uttered, staring into her eyes as his fingers danced with hers. "But it would be a shame to leave Camden to itself when it is on our very doorstep…"

Circe looked back to the window, and then back to Severus. A beautiful smile bloomed across her cheeks and she finally said in a low voice, "Oh Sev, I thought you'd never ask.", picking up her wine and downing it in one.

He followed suit and drank his wine greedily, chuckling as he watched her fork in a few mouthfuls of his risotto with speed.

"Carpe Diem, my love." She chuckled, clinking her glass to his.

Who knows how many "Diems" we may have.

"Whatever next? Will you be dancing and singing with me!?" she asked.

"I rarely dance, as you know. And I never sing." he shot back, cooly.

"Or so you think…" Circe muttered under her breath.

"What?"

"Nothing, my love." she responded sweetly, filling his wine glass again. "Now hurry up. I remembered the name of that place I was thinking about, saw it advertised in that record shop earlier. There's a bar down by the canal called The Laurel Tree that has a sort of retro Mod feel. They play modern stuff too, stuff that fits the mood. I can hear them playing a bit of Blur, I think…" she pointed out over the water and rushed to close the french doors.

"I thought you didn't like Blur. I thought you were on the Oasis side of that war."

"Ahh Blur may have won the battle for the streets of Camden, but Oasis will win the war."

"Of course." Severus responded with an eye roll. "And when in the enemy's territory, do as the enemy does? "When in Rome"... as the saying goes."

"Absolutely." she said simply.

You'll make a spy of me yet, Severus.

-----

Notes:

I will also say, the inspiration for Severus's voice came from this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KuKRrIVYhHE

It's later Bowie but when I listen to it, it's Severus. I'm sorry, it's Severus.