In The Silence of Winter

Lang Wuying was not prepared to encounter his son this late into the night standing in the middle of the hall in his night clothes. Much less looking frazzled and wide-eyed. He must've had a nightmare, which Lang Wuying doesn't remember his son ever having, sickness making him tired enough not even to dream.

Nonetheless, he walks near A'Ling kneeling right in front of the motionless three-year-old. He seems not surprised to see him, but he doesn't run towards him and Lang Wuying is worried. No tears. No words.

Why is he so quiet?

" A'Ling, did you have a nightmare?" He touches the boy's cheek and forehead taking account of his temperature, he's a little chilled but not cold, thankfully.

A'Ling hums, and stays quiet for a few seconds. Lang Wuying waits patiently.

"I...did." Jin Ling's voice was a raspy whisper, yet Lang Wuying could tell that it was not fear that made him hesitant but confused. It must've been a weird dream. He had read about children having very weird dreams before maybe it was just a simple childish fear.

Lang Wuying sits down, since they're are no maids or eunuchs around he can forgo a bit of indecency for now. " What was it about?"

Jin Ling's eyes turned to him, he stared as if assessing whether Lang Wuying would take it seriously, or whether he was getting his thoughts in order. Lang Wuying wonders what goes inside his son's head, of the few times he's around his son he always seems hesitant to speak near him.

Before he's thoughts derailed, A'Ling started speaking again.

"I...was playing, but I played too much and my friends got hurt because of me." A beat of silence, " He..you got mad. Very mad. I did bad. And then you.....left. And I was alone."

Ah. Lang Wuying can picture that nightmare. While he would never and has never yelled at his son, he has been very strict. He's made a schedule for his son so he can expect how his day will go. It is better to expect what will happen throughout the day to prepare your mind for it. It's a healthy way of thinking.

"Well I am here now," Lang Wuyign assures, " It was a dream. A' Ling. I have no reason to be mad at you." His voice is clear and simple.

A'Ling stares at Lang Wuying for another few moments before nodding. He doesn't move from his spot, however, and Lang Wuying can't think of something more to say.

Then A'Ling grabs a piece of his robes, clutching it in one small fist. He mumbles something under his breath.

"What is it, A'Ling?"

"..Why?..He's not here..." He mumbles quietly, staring at the floor.

Lang Wuying can only assume that his son is mentioning his father, the Emperor. He pities that his son would most likely never meet the man Lang Wuying spent his teenage years with.

Jin Heng was by no means a perfect man. He carried the air of a spoiled brat back then, yet he was charming in his own way, especially with their group of friends before he ascended the throne. Now he is...distant, not even Lang Wuying knows how he acts when not in public or when the Empire hangs on his shoulder. Not since Lang Wuying had broken his trust in the worst way possible.

He deserves Jin Heng's dislike, and mistrust. It is better that way.

"He..Is busy with dealing with the country, A'Ling. He will not come to you if he is busy, that is why we wait for him instead, if we're patient he will come." Lang Wuying tried to make it sound as factual as possible, yet why does it feel like he's lying?

Lang Wuying stays quiet after that, not being able to think of anything more to assure the frazzled and quiet child. He stands up and tries to pick up the three-year-old into his arms.

But A'ling steps back, his face contorting in anger. "No."

"A'ling?"

A' Ling looks around, and before Lang Wuying can grab him again he darts off toward the garden. He jumps into the snow-covered ground and runs in the opposite direction.

Lang Wuying, caught off guard, stumbles trying to stand up, and runs after his, surprisingly, quick child. 

"A'Ling!" 

The Empress tries to grab him again, but the child turns a corner towards the back of the palace and to the Empress's private area. More specifically the area where Lang Wuying spends his time for himself. He doesn't even have time to think before his son makes a sharp turn and he loses sight of him. Panicking and thinking his son is about to jump into the cold water, he sprints faster.

"A'Ling! Stop!"

When he finally turns the sharp corner he spots the child sitting at the edge of the pond on the rocky surface covered in snow. Feet and cheeks red from the cold wind. The child stares disturbingly still into the calm waters of his reflection.

Lang Wuying calms his breathing as he gets closer at a more sedated pace. As he walks he can hear the snipets of words his son murmurs outloud.

"..Why?...I don't wanna be here..Does he really care.."

The words struck a cord with Lang Wuying, the Emperor had never shown an interest in Jin Ling and Lang Wuying had never encourage the Emperor into visiting his palace unless it was necessary.

He had wondered in the future if relationship between them could've been fix, after all Jin Ling is his heir, but...maybe it's too late.

No. Lang Wuying would not give that easily, A'Yuan deserves to get to know his father.

The real question is how his going to managed to that.

For now Lang Wuying is going to have to keep a much closer eye as this child of his.

He kneels down to A'Lings level, taking his outer robe off he swaddled the now quiet child still staring into the depths of the pond as if waiting for an answer to his questions. Thankfully the child doesn't cause a fuss while being pulled in his arms.

A'Ling is quiet throughout the whole walk back towards his room. When he enters the room he makes sure to check on the candles and that the brazier is still full of coal and letting out a gentle heat.

Lang Wuying will be sleeping a bit cold for the next few days before he gets more coal for his own rooms, but at least his son's room is warmer.

He was about to call for A'Ling, but surprisingly he fell asleep on his shoulder during the walk back. He felt the warm breathes puffing on his neck, and a tight grip on his robes.

It takes Lang Wuying an embarrassingly long time to look away from his son's sleeping face. It just never stops to amaze him coming to terms with the reality that he has a son. A child he birthed himself. A future he never thought he would get due to his circumstances growing up. Yes, his current situation is not desirable by any means and he rather not had to deal with royalty, but nonetheless he does not regret having his son.

He can hear his father laughing and telling him 'I told you so' in the privacy of his mind.

He covers the child with the soft duvet and walks away leaving the child to his, hopefully, calmer dreams.