Demon, Part 3

"Luis, unlock the door, please!" Ella pleads.

"Go away…" I finally manage to croak out. The first words that I've spoken in days. "I don't want…to hurt you…"

"But you can't hurt me, Luis, I know you won't!" Ella replies. "Back there…that wasn't you, who killed…killed…" Ella's voice trails off. "That was an accident! And I know that you'll never hurt me!"

"That's not up for me to decide…" I sob. "I can't control my body sometimes…"

"But you're in control now, aren't you?" Ella asks, causing me to pause.

"Yeah…I am…" I reply after a few moments of silence. "Which is why, while I'm me…I'll have to make it so I never hurt anyone ever again…"

"Luis…?" Ella asks in response to my ominous reply. "Luis, what are you thinking?!" Ella asks again, louder this time. "Don't do anything rash!"

My door knob begins frantically rattling again, but I ignore Ella's pleas as I roll off of my bed and grab my unsheathed katana which lies on the floor beside me, its shining silver blade dripping with crimson red blood.

I stare at my katana for a bit. I then roll up my sleeves, revealing the cut wounds that I've got from pressing the blade of my katana to my wrists and arms over and over again over the past few days.

"The only way to repent…" I softly stammer as a crazed smile spreads across my lips. "...Is by making sure that I can never hurt anyone, ever again!"

Randy died saving my life…my friends were all hurt when Daniel kidnapped me …everyone was hurt again because of the Chairman of the Slayer Organization sending his assassins my way, and now…Nick died due to my involvement with the Cards of the King.

Everyone I'm involved with dies because of me.

I just can't take it anymore.

I grab a belt from my closet, tie it tightly around my right elbow, then slam my arm down onto my desk.

"IF I CUT OFF MY RIGHT ARM, THEN I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO WIELD A KATANA AGAIN!" I cackle as I raise my katana high above my head with my left hand

"LUIS, NO!" Ella cries from the opposite side of my door. I then hear a thumping noise come from behind my door, which sounds like Ella trying to kick my door in.

My katana sways in the air a bit as I struggle to aim it at my right wrist. "Damn… it's hard to use this thing with my non-dominant arm…" I grumble.

And then…without another warning…I swing my katana down.

"KNOCKBACK WAVE!"

Before my katana can slice my arm, I hear a boom come from behind my door as my wooden door explodes off of its hinges and shatters into a million pieces all scattered across my room. And then…there Ella stands in my doorway, like my hero.

"LUIS, NO!" Ella cries as she rushes towards me, but I ignore Ella's pleas as the blade of my katana continues flying towards my wrist.

But before my katana cna pierce my flesh -unlike how it did so with Nick just a few days prior- Ella tackles me and knocks me to the ground, my katana clanging out of my hands.

So much happened in just a few seconds.

As the dust from my exploding door settles, I open my eyes again to find myself lying on my carpet on my back, staring up at Ella's tearful right eye, and eyepatch-covered left eye.

"Luis…don't do it…" she sobs, tears streaming out of Ella's eyes and dripping down onto my chest.

My eyes widen as I stare at Ella for a few more moments, before flicking over to my right wrist. I stare at the shallow yet fresh cuts on my wrist again. Each time, I'd dig the blade of my katana into my flesh and force myself to bleed. I wanted to cut my arms and hands off to repent for Nick's death, but I couldn't find the strength. I can't repent for killing Nick by wussing out. If I don't fulfill his dying wish and live, using the prolonged life he's given me to become strong enough to protect everyone the two of us loved…then I wouldn't be able to face him in the afterlife.

"I can't…do it…" I softly say as I continue staring at the cuts, causing Ella to perk up. "My father…Robby…and now, Nick…why does every guy I love leave me…?"

"Huh…?" She slowly asks.

"I just can't do it…" I repeat. I then turn and face Ella again, and this time, I'm the one sobbing. "I CAN'T DO IT!" I sob. "I'M THE REASON THAT NICK'S DEAD, AND YET…IN HIS FINAL WORDS HE TOLD ME TO KEEP LIVING. HOW CAN I KILL MYSELF NOW?! AND YET…HOW CAN I PROTECT EVERYONE IF I'M A MONSTER?!"

"You're not a monster, Luis…" Ella replies with a small, sad smile as she reaches out and begins stroking my hair, causing tears to begin streaming from my eyes, yet again.

"You're not a monster."

***

It was the perfect day for rain.

Rain. It represents sadness and anguish. Just like how I was feeling in this given moment. The rain...it merged with my tears. So much rain, so many tears, it is like an ocean. I felt like I was drowning. Drowning in my sadness. Black was everywhere. Black suits, black dresses, black umbrellas.

After the tragic incident over Nick's death, no, Nick's murder. I killed him. Mikey, Daniel, and I drove back to our dorm house. I think Daniel drove. I'm not sure. My eyes were busy crying and stung with tears for the entire time. But after he got back, we took Nick's body out from the car and brought it into the house, setting it down on the couch. The house was empty. Ella, Grover, Jamie, and Austin returned soon after. Ella was missing an eye. She explained why. It's my fault, of course. Apparently, they went to the Cards of the King's second hideout, looking for me. When they saw Nick, they cried, they sobbed, they screamed. All understandable reactions, nothing that wasn't unexpected. Especially Ella

Ella couldn't revive the dead. Using her words, she's "not a miracle worker."

All we told them is that Nick died saving me. I wish it wasn't a lie. One day I'll tell them what happened, But right now is not a good time. Everyone began to cry again. And cry and cry and cry. So many heartaches that day, we were drowning in them.

A few days later, Nick's funeral was held. We all showed up, except for Mikey. There were a lot of other Pro Slayers there, such as the Slayer Renzu's Squad. Even Daniel came, my family too. The priest said the vows and asked if anyone would like to speak. We each took our turns talking. We said the same stuff forever and over. "Nick was a good man" and "he didn't deserve to die" and "I will miss him a lot" and "he was like a father to me." That last part was me talking. Though Mikey would have said the same. I talked about how Nick died saving me, saying how he would lay down his life to save me without a moment of hesitation. I don't think that I'll ever meet a man as good as Nick was.

Nick's body was lowered to the ground, and we threw flowers onto the coffin. It is impressive how nicely Nick's body was cleaned up. You couldn't even see the stab wound that I created. Nick was buried in a suit and tie. A suit and tie with a yellow tie and belt. Just like his usual work outfit.

***

The funeral ended after a few hours, and the five of us got up. Ella, Grover Austin, Jamie, and I began talking.

"So...that was...something," Grover says, whipping tears from his eyes.

"It was...something…" Ella agrees, trying to hold back her tears.

"So Mikey didn't show up? Well that's rude" Jamie adds, trying not to cry as well. 

"Well we all grieve in different ways. Perhaps Mikey's heart just couldn't handle seeing the dead Nick," Austin suggests and, despite his personality, is trying not to cry as well.

I'm silent.

"Luis...are you okay?" Ella asks me. "You were there when Nick died…"

I don't answer.

How the fuck can I face them now? Especially Ella. Everything was supposed to be alright. We'd beat the Assassins, I'd win my freedom, and everything would be good again. And then I'd tell them about being a half demon. But now…Ella lost an eye because of me and I killed Nick. How the fuck cam I face them now? I'd kill me if I were them.

"Luis?" Ella asks.

Grover put a hand on her shoulder. "Let's...let Luis be. He probably needs to grieve a little before he can talk,'' Grover suggests with a small chuckle.

He's not wrong. Aside from my speech, I haven't uttered a single other word for a few days. I haven't even left my room 

"Let's go inside, guys. It's raining out here" Jamie smiles sadly.

"You guys…go on without me…" I croak, then turn and walk away.

My friends say nothing, they just watch my back.