Chapter 8

Austin's kiss was so soothing and gentle. Jasmine was pleasantly surprised at how he was so passionate and attentive to her. She placed her hands on his chest to stop him. Austin was a bit disappointed because he already loved kissing her. "I hope my past has not frightened you," she asked searching his eyes.

"The only thing that scares me is not having you in my life," he admitted. Jasmine smiled at this declaration. "It's a lot and I understand if you choose to walk away," she pressed. 'Would you stop? I am not going anywhere Jasmine," he reiterated. "I have to move slowly. A friendship is all I can give you now," she admitted. "I am fine with your terms as long as I am in your life," he said holding her hands. "I don't want your pity and I don't want you treating me differently or like some fragile doll," she stated. "I won't dare," he smiled drawing close to her. "Good," Jasmine smiled drawing close to him as well. They sat there for a moment without words and found peace.

"Can I ask you something?" Austin requested. "Go ahead," Jasmine spoke leaning on his shoulder. "How are you dealing with all of this? Are you getting some help?" he asked overly concerned about her. "Well, I am dealing with it my way. I am improving upon my spiritual connection with Christ and I am going to seek some counseling," she admitted. "That's fantastic," he said. "Also......" he began trying to be as gentle as possible. "Have you had any other male friends over the years?" he asked.

Jasmine giggled realizing he wanted to know about her personal history. "No boyfriends, I have dated, I have kissed before but never revealed my past before to a guy," Jasmine stated. "Besides you and my close friend April, nobody knows about my past abuse," she continued. "And here I thought it was only me," he teased. "You have hurt my aching heart," he continued to tease. "Is there anything else?" she asked calling his bluff knowing he wanted more personal details. Austin knew she was on to him but he wanted to know everything.

"Have you ever been ............. you know," he said without coming out with the words. He wanted to know if her abuse had changed her perception of love and intimacy. "Have you been...... you know?" she said giving him a taste of his own medicine. "Yes. However, I have changed a lot. I have been celibate for the last five years," he admitted. Jasmine pondered his words and quickly realized their experiences with intimacy were different. She was amazed he revealed so much. She appreciated his honesty.

"Well for me it is a no I have never, and I don't plan to anytime soon. I don't believe in premarital sex and still, hold to my values despite my past. I have lost so much and want to keep that part of me and share it the right way when I am sure. I am waiting on my husband as I build my relationship with Christ," she confessed. "Is that a problem?" she asked trying to search his frame of mind after her revelation. "Of course not," he said immediately. "Can I still kiss you?" he asked. "Friends don't kiss." she reminded him.

"Ouch," he teased. You are too brutal," he laughed. "Remember slow and at my pace," she teased. "Well, if you change your mind, I am a willing candidate when it comes to kissing you," he stated. Jasmine rolled her eyes and ignored his last comment. Austin could not wait for the opportunity again to kiss her. The ball was in her court but he was all about establishing a strong relationship with her. Austin knew right away he wanted way more than a friendship. When he looked at Jasmine, he saw his future.