Chapter 15

Austin was a mess the last two days. Every other day over the past few months he was with Jasmine. Now to be separated from her was overwhelming. He took his sister's advice and gave her some space other than sending text messages. Furthermore, he had to refrain from showing up at her apartment unannounced. He found himself amazed at how much he depended on God and the power of prayer recently. He felt the pull to commit to God even now more than ever. He decided and knew that a deeper relationship with Jesus was what he needed first for himself and her. If she freaked out about him wanting more than friendship, how would she react if she knew he was considering a marriage proposal shortly?

Austin felt being around Jasmine had made him a better person and a version of himself his family loved. When he saw his phone vibrate with a message his heartbeat went into overdrive. Jasmine had sent a message inviting him over. He was beyond elated because he thought he had lost her.

Jasmine paced around her apartment nervous about seeing Austin. This was the first time she would see him after he confessed his love for her. How should she react toward him? Tell him how you feel about him, Jasmine heard the Holy Spirit speak loudly. When she heard her doorbell ring and confirmed it was him, she gently opened the door. Jasmine was shocked to see the overgrown beard and the weariness in his eyes. God, he really loves me, she thought as his eyes focused directly on her. "Rough night?" she teased touching his beard softly. He chuckled and loved the humor she was showing to lighten the mood. He held her hands and took in the beauty of the woman he loved. "I missed you a lot," he said. "And, I am sorry if I crossed the line," Austin said.

Jasmine smiled and looked at him with curiosity. "Are you saying you regret what happened or what you said?" Jasmine said calling his bluff and putting him in the hot seat. "No, I meant everything I said," he confessed. Jasmine read the hurt, worry, and concern in his eyes and her heart ached for him. Jasmine pulled him in a hug. "I missed you too," she said. They held each other for the longest and eventually sat together on the sofa. Austin saw the travel bags and looked at Jasmine with questions. "I promise to explain," she said meeting his gaze.

"Jasmine.........."Austin began. Jasmine silenced him with her fingers on his lips. Austin swallowed because each time she touched him he was like butter under her touch. "You talk too much," she teased. "Let me go first," she smiled. Austin felt excited by the smile and playfulness. He could not wait to hear what she had to say.

"Austin, I do care for you a lot. You have brought joy to my life and excitement that is hard to explain. I do have some things to fix in my life and I am asking you to be patient. I tried to imagine my life without you and I can't. So perhaps you have a piece of my heart without me even knowing. I want you in my life," Jasmine said biting her bottom lips sending Austin crazy. The cute mannerisms got him each time. "If you would still have me.........I am open to love and a relationship," she said feeling vulnerable and shy. She could now respect how it was hard for him to share it all with her the other day.

Austin was surprised and happy all at the same time. He was amazed that she was open to being more than friends and he was not going to question it. "Of course, I will have you. Are you insane? Do you think I will change my mind? Never Jasmine Patterson. I have fallen in love with you and I am not going anywhere," he said kissing her on her cheeks numerous times. "Austin," Jasmine laughed at his playful reaction. When she caught her breath, his eyes zeroed in on her lips and Jasmine turned away shyly.

"I know we are moving slowly and not official yet but can I...............," Austin began asking for a kiss. Jasmine read his mind and knew this would seal this new chapter in their lives. She saw the love and sincerity in his eyes. Could she trust him with her heart? Feeling her reservations and concerns he gently took her hands and kissed them softly. She nodded and his lips instantly captured hers. He was slow and passionate savouring this moment because he had longed to kiss her for months. Jasmine felt everything in that kiss and got lost in his gentle kiss. She drew back a little prompting him to sneak in another quickly catching her off guard.

"I wanted to do this for such a long time," he smiled thanking God everything was turning out far better than he anticipated. Jasmine looked at him feeling her lips burn from his kiss. The first time she kissed him it was amazing but this time she could feel the deep emotions and connections developing between him. "What is it?" he asked seeing that her reaction was different and wishing he could kiss her again. "Nothing," she said turning away shyly. He held her hands and did not want to push her any further. He learned his lesson from the last time. But he knew exactly what it was. The emotions were new for her. He wanted her in his life from day one and knew she was beginning to feel for him too. That was all he needed no matter how small it was he would work with God. God had answered his prayer.

"I have some news too," he said changing the intense moment between them. "I have made up my mind to commit to God. It is for me, my future, us, and where God is leading me for the next chapter in my life," he said. Jasmine embraced him with happiness. He grabbed her and held her close. He never got enough of her hugs. "I am so happy for you," she said. This time she kissed him numerous times on the cheeks giving him a taste of his own medicine.

Austin laughed and said, "Don't stop." He enjoyed every minute of it. It was refreshing to see her happy, carefree, and playful for a change. She stopped and folded her arms realizing he was getting a kick out of it all. After he had calmed down, she said, "I have put in for a month's leave of absence to return to my mother for that family reunion."

Austin sat up shocked by her news and surprised she had made up her mind. "Okay, who is this woman? What happened to you in the last forty-eight hours?" he asked. "Let's say I had a heart-to-heart conversation with God about my family and us," she indicated. Austin could not stop smiling now hearing everything. "I am so proud of you," he said. "Thanks. I will be proud of you when you shave that beard off," she teased. Austin laughed, "Well, you are to blame."

"There is something else," she said. "Austin felt the shift in her mood. "Uncle Peter is back home in Chicago dying of AIDS and he wants to see me," she said. Austin sat up stunned and disturbed. "You don't owe him anything," Austin said annoyed by the man's request. “I know but I may need closure with him as well. I am considering going," she admitted.

"You can't do this alone. I am coming with you," Austin stated. "Austin, I am leaving in the morning. You can't just up and leave. You don't have to do this," she explained. "Watch me," he stated. "If you think I am going to let you walk into that room and face that monster alone after what he did to you, you are mistaken. He needs to know he did not break you and you are loved," Austin said getting up and pacing the room. The realization of Jasmine facing her rapist started to upset him. "You can't hate him. As Christians, we still have to forgive," Jasmine said. Austin closed his eyes praying for strength because he did not want to hurt a dying man.

Jasmine wrapped her arms around his waist from behind. "It will be okay," she said. Austin stopped and started to calm down from her touch. "How are you so calm about this?" he asked. A minute ago, he wanted to hurt this man if he was there right now. "I have the peace from God and you to hold in my arms. That will help me get through this," she said resting her head on his back. Austin appreciated the warmth from the embrace but wanted to turn around. "Don't," Jasmine commanded. "I need to say something before I chicken out," she said.

"I was afraid to express how I feel about you. I felt unworthy of your love and not good enough for you. But fear was holding me back. I am not afraid anymore. Thank you for pushing me and expressing how you feel," Jasmine confessed. Austin swallowed and felt his heart beating rapidly as to what was about to happen. "I am falling in love with you Austin. I may not have expressed it right away but know you were always in my heart all along. I just need time to learn how to love you without reliving my past," Jasmine admitted.

Austin was at a loss for words. Tears began to roll down his eyes. "It's not fair you are doing this to me while my back is turned. I want to see your beautiful face," he begged and choked on his words. "Are you crying?" she asked hearing the crackling in his voice. He turned around and could not keep his eyes off her. She gently wiped the tears from his eyes. "I love you so much," he said looking directly into her gorgeous brown eyes. "I know," she laughed. He kissed her without warning this time taking her breath away. He vowed to never let anyone hurt her again.